Toppling Giants

Do you listen to the sounds of [nonhuman] nature around you?

This morning, whilst eating oatmeal outside, I heard the alarm chirps of woodpeckers nearby, accompanied by the buzz of a chainsaw.

I looked around and could not find the source of the woodcutting sound, at first.

Finally, after using my pocket camera as a spyglass, I spotted the treehugging, limbclimbing, chainsaw-wielding giant slayer nextdoor:

Tree-trimmer

I accept that my new nextdoor neighbours are responsible owners of a patch of woods in which a small house, driveway and septic field line sit.

If I was a more responsible homeowner, there wouldn’t be holes in the eaves, bats in the belfry and mice in the crawlspace.

Or is that my head I’m talking about?

Anyway, here’s the word redefinition of the day:

Civilisation — what extra children who are not needed to grow/raise food build to overcome boredom and justify their existence when predators are no longer a balancing threat; deadend offshoots of evolution; entropy states in flux.

My friends in the archaeological business found a scrap of writing that had been stuck on the bottom of the foot of a mummified person who drowned in the Dead Sea.  Apparently, it clarifies the controversy surrounding the alleged age of Methuselah, said to have lived to 969 years of age.

Translation of the scrap of writing indicates that Methuselah actually lived 96 years and 9 months (or moons).

Young Earth proponents have seized on this last bit of data as evidence for a firm foundation in their beliefs that our planet is only thousands of years old.

Meanwhile, treasure seekers have begun a fullscale dredging of the Dead Sea for more fool’s gold in the form of the last civilisation’s toss-offs, trash dumps or other forgotten piles of detritus that antiquity collectors will pay top dollar in order to make connections between previous scraps that are practically senseless but cost too much to say they’re worthless.

Ever feel a hankering for sumpin’?

I feel an urge to combine the following items into something that I don’t quite know what yet:

  1. ScriptKit drag-and-drop programming.
  2. Sarah Palin cutout doll kit.
  3. Cardboard Christmas wrapping paper tubes and Amazon shipping boxes.
  4. “Free stuff” sites like Craigslist, Freecycle and Yerdle.
  5. Valued-added software like InboundWriter.
  6. Je ne sais quoi…

Another stop-action story, perhaps?

A new hand-drawn animated comic?

Meanwhile, back on Earth…

Some people prefer not to mention where they’ve been — the restaurants and retail establishments — because they assume no one wants to know.

However much I agree that we aren’t interested in knowing the minute details of a person’s day, regardless of the person’s fame/infamy, how many of us like to see our names in print?

People to thank for their services: Paul at Surin Thai Restaurant; Drew, Cynthi and Kay at Publix; Garrett at Cracker Barrel; the backdock receivers at Goodwill Industries; ticket issuers at the Living Christmas Tree; UAH men’s basketball players who beat a Division I school’s basketball team for the first time in school history; UPS package deliverers; more to follow.

How do I live longer?

One of the first pieces of advice you get from those who are older and have lived longer than you is to not take advice from anyone older than you, right?

Wrong.

Want to live longer, or at least pretend that you might?

Try these handy tips:

1. Drink a glass of water when you wake up. Your body loses water while you sleep, so you’re naturally dehydrated in the morning. A glass of water when you wake helps start your day fresh. When do you drink your first glass of water each day?

2. Define your top 3. Every morning Mike asks himself, “What are the top three most important tasks that I will complete today?” He prioritizes his day accordingly and doesn’t sleep until the Top 3 are complete. What’s your “Top 3” today?

3. The 50/10 Rule. Solo-task and do more faster by working in 50/10 increments. Use a timer to work for 50 minutes on only one important task with 10 minute breaks in between. Mike spends his 10 minutes getting away from his desk, going outside, calling friends, meditating, or grabbing a glass of water. What’s your most important task for the next 50 minutes?

4. Move and sweat daily. Regular movement keeps us healthy and alert. It boosts energy and mood, and relieves stress. Most mornings you’ll find Mike in a CrossFit or a yoga class. How will you sweat today?

5. Express gratitude. Gratitude fosters happiness, which is why Mike keeps a gratitude journal. Every morning, he writes out at least five things he’s thankful for. In times of stress, he’ll pause and reflect on 10 things he’s grateful for. What are you grateful for today?

6. Reflect daily. Bring closure to your day through 10 minutes of reflection. Mike asks himself, “What went well?” and “What needs improvement?” So… what went well today? How can you do more of it?

Spiking the Punch

If you’re going to create a real virtual world to hide your wealth from socialistic hands, you have to start somewhere in an exotic location.

For instance, draw a line in the regolith sand and drive a golden spike to claim your spot on the Inner Solar System superhighway.

Where?

Say, like the Moon, for instance.

Back to Besse

Fleshing out connections, here’s a set of data points:

  • Besse Cooper, once the world’s oldest living person at 116 years of age, was born in Sullivan County, Tennessee, USA, in 1896.
  • Besse graduated from ETSU* in 1916.
  • My father in-law was born in 1916.  He and his wife (my mother in-law, born in 1917), both also graduated from ETSU**, in the early 1930s.
  • My father, born in 1935, taught at ETSU as an adjunct professor for over 20 years, and died earlier this year.
  • Besse Cooper died yesterday in Monroe, Georgia.
  • My uncle, former dean of history at Valdosta State University, and my aunt live in an assisted living facility not far from Monroe, Georgia.
  • I was born and grew up in Sullivan County, Tennessee, USA, and attended ETSU in the early 1980s.
  • My sister was born and grew up in Sullivan County, Tennessee, USA, and received her master’s degree from ETSU.
  • My wife was born in Sullivan County, Tennessee, USA.

Question: We can create as many connections as we wish but how many of them are real?
Question: How many of us will live to be centenarians?

* called East Tennessee State Normal School at the time.** called East Tennessee State Teachers College at the time.

A Thousand Years Hence…

Maybe it was the rolling blackouts.

Maybe it was something no historian will discover.

Looking back 1000 years later, the details have faded but the facts remain.

When more than 50 percent of the people grew to depend upon their symbiotic relationships with technology, the Change began.

At first, it was unnoticeable.

A novelty.

But then, as network technology continued to spread, people’s attitudes shifted.

They no longer expected information to be “out there” somewhere.

They became the information they sought.

They created the instant wisdom they used to imagine belonged to elites.

All because of a single femtocell.

One femtocell split into two, which divided into twos again, and again, and again, until pervasive, cheap technology turned us into our own network, freeing us from the costly, slow infrastructure with tolls and fees that had inhibited the explosion of the Change.

No longer were data centers some remote place that ate up energy like hogs at a trough.

People were walking/talking data centers, thinktanks, supercomputers and network nodes all at the same time.

Thanks to exponential advances in technology.

From the perspective of 1000 years, the Change seemed to happen overnight.

Of course it didn’t.

Years and decades passed while portions of the people sped up and slowed down the socioeconomic trends that led to the Change.

A student of history digs for the details, trying not to invent connections where connections never exists.

The writer of historical fiction has full access to imaginative connections.

Legends, fables and fairy tales live somewhere in-between.

The Change happened — that’s all that matters, despite false rumours and gossip to the contrary that say we came from genetically modified plants, not electromechanical technology.