What Momma says, goes

“Check this out.  Wait, the cell phone connection’s really bad in here.  I’ll walk to the front of the building and get the rest of her message.

“Okay, here it is.  I had texted Mom to ask her if she has any plans for Thanksgiving.  This is what she said:

‘No, I do not have any plans for Thanksgiving, or Christmas, or the New Year.  You children are grown up and it’s time you acted like it.  My father and I are old and tired and soon we’re going to be gone.  You need to start making the decision about what we’re going to do and what we’re going to eat for the holidays.'”

“There’s only one response for that one.  ‘Yes, Mom.'”

“Yes, Momma.  Yes, Momma.  That is so funny.  That’s just like her.”

“And it’s like you, too.”

“Huh?”

“‘I’ve taught you all the dance moves.  You know all the dance moves.  It’s time you need to dance them without me telling you how to dance the moves.'”

“Haha…but it’s true, isn’t it?  That’s me!  If only I didn’t have so much on my plate right now — moving to my new flat, packing the crate for my boyfriend’s return to France, getting ready for St. Louis, DJing…I can’t believe he’s going to be gone next week!  I think I’m going to cry.”

“Can you hold it together?”

“I have to.  I have to work.  My life is my job.  I don’t take a break.”

“We can come over and help you ‘fluff your nest.'”

“No, no.  I’m good.  Now you guys need to practice what I just taught you.  Full weight on one foot, the other leg straight, toes pointed to the floor and just pivot your upper body, keeping your weight on the same foot as your lower body follows around half a turn.  I’m so glad I came tonight.  You guys are like a rock for me.  Thanks!”

“You’re welcome.”

“I’ll see you in St. Louis!”

Today, I meditate upon the inside of my eyelids after creating for myself a meditative theme song for the day using the Animoog app, later throwing meat and vegetables into a crock pot to simmer a few hours before dinnertime.

I have no other goals, having accomplished a blog entry for the day.

Sometimes, happiness is a minimalist lifestyle.

The divorce diet

Bai looked at her figure in the mirror.

Little more than a size four, close to a size six.

Watching herself and her partner on video from a recent dance competition had shown her that she was not the skinny ballerina figure she used to be.

Time’ll do that to you.

That, and alcohol to a diabetic’s disposition.

She breathed.  She needed water, part of her purification cleansing diet, much like the nutritional input to which she resorted during her divorce.

Her so-called divorce diet.

She wanted to go back to per post-divorce size two, or a size one in clothing store labeled terms.

More importantly, she wanted to be a great dance partner again, spinning on point effortlessly, turning faster than anyone else on the floor, the perfect follower for the perfect leader.

She was no engineer but she understood inertia better than most scientists — it doesn’t take a formula to show you that you don’t move at the same speed as you did in 1998, or even 2008, when you went from a complete stop to 120 BPM in a second, not two.

With her new job as a night club DJ, she could cue up four or five songs and dance with the club patrons as part of her exercise regime.

As a dancing instructor, she just wasn’t burning calories as fast as she’d like.

Soon, she’d be showing off her slimmer figure at Swing Fling in Washington, D.C.

After that, who knew?  Maybe River City Swing in Jacksonville, Meet Me in St. Louis Swing Dance Championships or Boogie by the Bay in San Francisco.

She had goals, not all of them dance.  Sure, she’d like to travel overseas for dance competitions, buy a sewing machine and turn all of her students into top competitors, but there was more.

Much more.

Lose a boyfriend, gain a girlfriend who was her best friend, then her boyfriend’s former girlfriend.

She had options.  Choices.  Her secret to life was her happiness and youthful exuberance.

Her life was often tiring but she wouldn’t have it any other way.

She returned to the mirror and practiced a new move.

She had been taught by the best and expected nothing less from herself.

Practice, practice, practice!

A Weight Loss Clinic might be more effective!

Based on the people in the images below (minus Brandon, Alysha and Baylee Elkins), a weight loss clinic might be a better way to improve the health of people in Kingsport than a dental school but, hey, I’m 60 pounds overweight so maybe it’s just me:

Kingsport-Times-News-2013-05-11-a

How do I live longer?

One of the first pieces of advice you get from those who are older and have lived longer than you is to not take advice from anyone older than you, right?

Wrong.

Want to live longer, or at least pretend that you might?

Try these handy tips:

1. Drink a glass of water when you wake up. Your body loses water while you sleep, so you’re naturally dehydrated in the morning. A glass of water when you wake helps start your day fresh. When do you drink your first glass of water each day?

2. Define your top 3. Every morning Mike asks himself, “What are the top three most important tasks that I will complete today?” He prioritizes his day accordingly and doesn’t sleep until the Top 3 are complete. What’s your “Top 3” today?

3. The 50/10 Rule. Solo-task and do more faster by working in 50/10 increments. Use a timer to work for 50 minutes on only one important task with 10 minute breaks in between. Mike spends his 10 minutes getting away from his desk, going outside, calling friends, meditating, or grabbing a glass of water. What’s your most important task for the next 50 minutes?

4. Move and sweat daily. Regular movement keeps us healthy and alert. It boosts energy and mood, and relieves stress. Most mornings you’ll find Mike in a CrossFit or a yoga class. How will you sweat today?

5. Express gratitude. Gratitude fosters happiness, which is why Mike keeps a gratitude journal. Every morning, he writes out at least five things he’s thankful for. In times of stress, he’ll pause and reflect on 10 things he’s grateful for. What are you grateful for today?

6. Reflect daily. Bring closure to your day through 10 minutes of reflection. Mike asks himself, “What went well?” and “What needs improvement?” So… what went well today? How can you do more of it?

I’m not paranoid but entities are tracking me!

Finally, after all these years!

You know what they say, just because you don’t believe people are tracking you doesn’t me they aren’t.

Well, here’s the proof.  I read an article about Collusion and downloaded the app.  Attached below is a chart of the entities that’ve tracked me while I surfed the interwebs in firefox for a few minutes.  Imagine what yours will look like after a few weeks!