Someone told me it’s 2012

Well, right on schedule, it’s 2012.  You know what that means.

The Motion Picture Academy has finally decided to issue awards to fans for being the best twits (at least that’s what the MPA thinks twitterers are called who tweet excessively about motion pictures).  Word on the street is that they’ll also issue a lifetime achievement award to the fan who follows or has followed one particular actor, director or other member of the motion picture industry fanatically but is not a stalker or paparazzo/paparazza.

They tell me you’re experiencing a general warming of our home planet.

I don’t know about that.

Here in the outer reaches of the solar system settlements, “warming” is a luxury we can barely afford.  Thank goodness we gave up on underarm deodorant and other niceties associated with a society of surplus production capabilities and learned to enjoy the odor that a warm body emits.

In any case, a friend sent a few photos from my former neighbourhood of north Alabama to show it is a weird winter there, what with daffodils, crocuses and vinca blooming at the same time this year:

Hey, E-Buddy, what do you think?

Just what I thought!  Crazy, huh?

Oh well, I’ve got a planet to manage 1000 years in the past.  Hope you guys enjoy what we have planned for you next.  It means the world to us here in 3011.

And kids, you keep practicing your interplanetary management skills.  You’ll be adults before you know it and traveling to places you can hardly imagine habitable in 2012.

Two Facts

  1. Found an old white jumpsuit in the closet where clothes of my youth feed moth larvae.  I painted black stripes on the outfit, put it on with an assist from a rusty shoehorn, snapped a set of fake handcuffs on my wrists and ran down the main street of my town.  For some strange reason, my marathon training attire attracted attention — several police officers pulled over and asked me for identification.  Had to explain to them the only way I can motivate myself to run 26.2 miles is if I’m either being chased by wild dogs or on the run from the law.
  2. Has it occurred to you yet, if you live in the United States, that the person who wins the next U.S. Presidential election will receive votes from about 20% to 25% of the U.S. population and claim it is a true mandate for change?  What will that say about the 75% to 80% who didn’t vote for the person (including those who didn’t/couldn’t vote at all)?

A nod to the success of Karen Hawkins, a secondary schoolmate.

Future rocketeers, are you practicing your orbital entry maneuvers?  Won’t be long now before we need a flock of rocketeers piloting the fleet! [Racketeers need not apply, of course]

As much as I find the storyline of the reluctant leader of the Committee trying, if not tiring, let’s see what the leader recommends after attending the latest Committee meeting…

Beginner Glassblower Glasses Classes

“It wasn’t always like this,” she told me.

You see, me Ma, she’s been around the block, as they say, being a marathon runner and all that.

We remember our ancestors who were awarded land by the Crown all those centuries ago.

And it weren’t too long ago, when me Ma’s Da’s Da, invited to supp with the Queen, said, “Why, I wouldn’t set foot in the same room with that German impostor!”

But seein’ as you don’t know what I’m talkin’ ’bout, y’ought to know more, right?

If it ain’t always been like this, when has it been?

Or will it?

Like last night, sittin’ in the dark, watchin’ them kids from Knoxville, Cookeville, Nashville and Texas swingin’ to the oldies, music spun up on hard disks by the DJ crew Winter Wonderland for the Huntsville Swing Dance Society…

I got to thinkin’…

Yeah, and that’s why I’m still here this morning, wonderin’ why it is that this is not what it’s always been like.

When did we teach kids to dance in low {earth} gravity conditions?

They weren’t born on your home planet.

The last direct descendant livin’ on Scottish soil had died, revertin’ our ol’ homeland back to the Crown (and yes, the Queen is still one of them German pretenders to the British throne but who’m I to care, bouncin’, as I am, out here in the hinterlands of our species’ solar system settlements?)…

Am I just a fractal projection of a 2D surface?

Or is that a holographic computation upon a 4D equestrian equation equal to none and summarisation of everything?

I think me oxygen level is out of balance with me nitrogen mix.

Besides, them dancers what celebrated the 13th birthday on Friday the 13th at KCDC, they’s got their time to shine in the sweaty spotlight.

Oh well, not like the dinner theatre in X27B is any more real than any other history, past or present tense, tension or predisposition.

But the sentiments are the same.

As me Da said to me Ma, “And it’ll never be like this again.”

Homeless shelters solve protein issue…

…feed pigeon and cat meat to residents, end animal overpopulation problem at same time, fix euthanasia moral crisis.

Note to lying, cheating scum (you know who you are) – rats are edible, too.

And that’s the news this week from our offworld colony, Nua Éire, where the whole lot is used to hardship and oppression, key ingredients for successful colonisation of harsh environments.

As one colonist noted, “We don’t need no princes, princesses or prima donnas ’round here.”

Pearly gate crashers

A group of cosmetologists and astrologers held a surprise birthday party for Dr. Stephen Hawking today.

At the end of the party, the group released an official statement:

“We predict that our esteemed colleague will need a haircut and manicure before the next full moon.”

When asked about any insight into scientific breakthroughs at the LHC or other research centres, the spokesperson for AACHU (Association of Astrologers and Cosmetologists for Human Understanding) sneezed and then said, “We have no idea what the Large Haircut Centre will design next but we’re told those born under the sign of Pisces should avoid dying their hair if swirled into a bouffant style and previously dyed pink, yellow or green.  Also, avoid new relationships until the next meteor shower.”

Household Gods

In writing the narrative about our species in which we head for star systems as a investment in the nest egg of nest eggs (thus, the timeline that includes an event 14017 days away), one must consider the alternative timelines and subplots galore.

That, or Zsa Zsa Gabor’s family history

In any case, it is the case of the glass case of one’s household gods we consider at this moment.

What are your household gods?

Religious/Sports/Music/Dramatic Arts/Business/Political/Literary/Scientific figures?  Holiday figurines?  Your pets?  Hobbies?

These and other questions will fill the spaces between now and then.

In hindsight, the decades to follow will look like a mad dash.

We, however, are living from one moment to another in slow motion, it seems.

The supercomputers woven into your fabricated fashions will drive us maddeningly happy with joy and variety unknown, or barely imagined, by previous generations.

As you know, generations have shortened from 20 years to 10 to 5 to 2 to…what next?

Just like ocean waves that overrun each other, trends will pass by us too fast for us to notice until retro trends show us what we missed the first, second, or third time.

After all, what is faster than the speed of light?

After the Higgs boson, what’s going to hold our scientific interest?

When was the last time a chair seduced you into taking a seat?

Are you seated comfortably and ready to listen?

Good!  Let the story begin again anew…

The Success of Formulasation

Chapter of Extreme Measures Merry Making

There are days, when managing the affairs of state from one’s center of the universe…

It seems my hackers, mobsters business associates, colleagues, and others on the take (you decide whether labels like politicians, teachers, pensioners and religious leaders are synonymous with “others on the take”) are happy to give me my usual breaks to live like a regular member of our species.

But, they reckon, it’s time I pick up the reins again and lead this wagonload of Motley Crue groupies out of the rut and away from the road that leads to the town square and gallows that smells of fresh pine wood and hemp (rope, we assume).

I enjoyed that momentary feeling of blissful craziness a U.S. Presidency (that’s a capitol capital P that stands for Pool and that means trouble!) headed (or occupied, if you will) by Newt Gingrich would have given me for four fun years.

My wife does not speak for me but I’ve got to mention at this point my wife is convinced that voting for a Mormon for U.S. President is not that bad an idea.  A conservative businessman, governor and man who believes in marriage for life — my wife’s [nearly] ideal presidential candidate.  After all, Mormons believe in talking/burning bushes, astrological signs and other miraculous signs of an invisible God, just like any other religion out there.  One’s as good as another as long as the kids’ moral and ethical behaviours are all right (or left (or center( or…))).

As for me…well, you see, I’m independent, which means, in this case, that, as a citizen of the state of Alabama, my vote is pretty much useless.  Some sort of Republican will receive the state’s vote in 2012, no matter which candidate I think expresses my view that my view is my view and my view only.

Guess I better start attending the Committee meetings again, listening to the same viewpoints and arguments the Committee members have been espousing ever since their predecessors determined they were worthy of Committee member status, no matter whether the status has no meaning outside the Committee meetings…

We’ve a planet to run, a species’ miniecosystem to box up and ship to cosmological parts unknown, and, perhaps, a bit of fun at our species’ expense along the way.

If all I do is express a formula in verbotic, unsanctimonious, mathematically-obscure word form, using a set of nested blogs to fill out the subscripted footnotes before your eyes magically, then I’ve accomplished the goal set before me years ago.

I’m falling behind in my thanks and’ll have to catch up later.

Speaking of formulae, my wife and I sat through a viewing of the film production based on a tired script of “Iron Man III,” set in 1891 apparently.  I’m afraid, Watson, there was little that was elementary about all the explosions and pastperfectfuture androgynous, joker-homaged, testosterone-filled, demographically-profiled videogame settings.

Enough of the chitchat.

Back on my high horse I go.

You’ll have to find another chap to whittle your matchbox figurines in foxholes with.  I’ve a script to write in realtime…

Georgia (no, not Russia) and Russia (no, not Moscow, Idaho)

But can he ride a rocket out of the country?

December 14, 2011, 19:15 | Science | Ivan Cheberko 3

Ракетчики останутся в заложниках у Родины Rocketeers will remain hostage to the Motherland

Руководитель Роскосмоса Владимир Поповкин запретил ездить на отдых за границу носителям государственных тайн Head of Russian Federal Space Agency Vladimir Popovkin forbidden to go on holiday abroad holders of state secrets

Rocketeers will remain hostage to the MotherlandРуководитель Федерального космического агентства (Роскосмос) Владимир Поповкин. Head of Federal Space Agency (Roscosmos) Vladimir Popovkin. Фото: РИА НОВОСТИ/Артем Житенёв Photo: RIA Novosti / Artem Zhitenev

Руководитель Manager Федерального Federal космического Space агентства Agency Владимир Vladimir Поповкин Popovkin запретил banned выезд exit за for границу border на on отдых recreation руководителям managers и and сотрудникам employees предприятий businesses Роскосмоса , осведомленных Russian Space Agency, informed о of секретных Secret сведениях . clues.

— – Письмо « Об Letter “On the ограничении Restrictions выезда Check out из of РФ RF работников employees организаций Organizations ракетно – космической Rocket – Space промышленности » датировано 22 ноября , — рассказал « Известиям » высокопоставленный Industry “dated November 22, – told” Izvestia “senior источник source в in Роскосмосе . Roskosmos. — В – In тексте text руководитель manager рекомендует Recommends ограничить limit с 1 января 2012 года from January 1, 2012 выезд exit за for пределы limits РФ RF на on отдых recreation руководителей leaders и and работников , осведомленных employees who are aware о of сведениях DATA особой special важности the importance of или or совершенно секретных Top Secret сведениях DATA организаций. organizations.

Запрет Ban касается As for не not только only организаций Organizations и and предприятий , подведомственных enterprises under the jurisdiction of Роскосмосу . Речь Roscosmos. It также also идет is об about организациях , с organizations, with которыми which у in государства State заключен concluded договор contract о of проведении conduct работ , связанных work-related с with передачей transmission сведений Information особой special важности the importance of или or совсекретных sovsekretnyh сведений . Это довольно широкий круг лиц. of information. This is a pretty wide range of individuals. Например, провести зимний отпуск в Альпах теперь не смогут сотрудники банка, допущенные к сведениям о производстве продукции на предприятиях Роскосмоса. For example, spend winter holidays in the Alps now can not bank employees committed to information about the production process in enterprises Space Agency.

Единственная The only лазейка — здоровье . Если loophole – health. If в in период period отпуска holidays обладателю holder секретов Secrets нужно necessary лечение treatment за for рубежом Abroad и and аналогичных similar процедур procedures в in России Russia не not делают, do по on предписанию prescription врача doctor он he может can получить get разрешение resolution на on выезд . Это check-out. This единственное only исключение , предусмотренное the exception provided приказом Order Поповкина , никаких Popovkin, no других « иных Other “other случаев » в cases “in тексте text нет . no.

— – Это It служебный service документ , и document, and он he вписывается fits в in другие others действующие acting нормативные regulatory акты , касающиеся acts on вопросов issues обеспечения ensure секретности , — заявил « Известиям » руководитель Privacy – said “Izvestia” head пресс – службы Press – service Роскосмоса Russian Space Agency Алексей Alex Кузнецов . Kuznetsov.

Сам Himself Владимир Vladimir Поповкин Popovkin через through своего a пресс – секретаря Press – Secretary Анну Anna Ведищеву Vedischevu заявил « Известиям », что told “Izvestia”, which принятые adopted меры arrangements служат are не not запрету , а ban and упорядочению streamline выезда Check out за for рубеж frontier лиц , осведомленных persons knowledgeable о of секретных Secret сведениях . clues.

— Вопрос – Question о of том , почему why такие such меры arrangements не not принимались taken раньше, before, следует be адресовать address предыдущей previous администрации Administration Роскосмоса , — сказал он. Russian Space Agency, – he said.

В In подведомственных subordinate Роскосмосу Roscosmos предприятиях enterprises распоряжение disposal главы Chapter агентства Agency восприняли perceived без without энтузиазма . Невыездным of enthusiasm. restricted to travel abroad автоматически automatically становится is руководство guide всех all крупнейших the largest предприятий businesses и and холдингов holdings ракетно – космической Rocket – Space отрасли . Часто the industry. Often это it далеко far не not бедные poor люди , их people, their доходы revenue исчисляются calculated сотнями hundred тысяч thousands of долларов USD в in год . Обойти year. Getting Around новый new запрет ban им them будет will сложно , так difficult, because как as паспорта Passport сотрудников , обращающихся employees seeking с with секретами , полагается secrets, it is believed хранить store в in соответствующем appropriate отделе Department предприятия , где enterprises, where эти сотрудники работают . Выдаются these employees work. Issued паспорта Passport по on исполнении performance ряда number of формальностей, formalities и and бесконтрольно uncontrolled выехать leave за for рубеж frontier носитель carrier секретов Secrets не not сможет . can.

— – Наш Our руководитель manager имел had обыкновение habit в in январе January отдыхать rest на on островах Islands Индийского Indian океана , в Ocean, этом this году year он he был was на on Сейшелах , — рассказал « Известиям » собеседник Seychelles – told “Izvestia” interlocutor в in крупном large холдинге , выпускающем Holding, producing ракеты – носители missile – media тяжелого heavy класса . the class. — На – In следующий next год year у in него it другие others планы , но plans, but куда where конкретно specifically он he поедет , я go, I не not знаю . I know.

Заместитель Deputy директора Director крупной large организации organization Роскосмоса Russian Space Agency рассказал , что said that планирует plans получить get справку Help от from медика , подтверждающую physician confirming необходимость need выезда Check out за for рубеж : abroad:

— На – In следующей the next неделе week этим this и and займусь , потому loan, because что that летом in summer у in меня me в in последние last годы years график schedule не not позволяет . Мне allows it. I хочется want to в in тепло, heat и and зимой in winter в in России Russia мне me отдыхать rest негде . no place.

Сам Himself Владимир Vladimir Поповкин Popovkin в in августе August этого it года year проводил conducted отпуск vacation в in Сочи . Источник Sochi. Source в in Роскосмосе Roskosmos рассказывает , что says that руководитель manager не not впервые first адресует addresses отраслевым industry руководителям managers сигнал вести signal to более more скромный modest образ image жизни . Так , в of life. Thus, in начале early августа August этого it года year Роскосмос Roscosmos опубликовал published официальное official сообщение message о of намерении intention изменить change систему system оплаты Payment труда Labour отраслевых industry директоров Directors таким so образом , чтобы way that оклад salary руководителя Head превышал exceeded среднюю average зарплату Salary на on предприятии Company не not более more чем than в in пять five раз . Речь time. It идет is о of довольно rather существенном significant сокращении : в reduction: a этом this году year оклад salary руководителя Head превышает than заработную payroll плату fee работника employee в 8–10 раз . at 8-10.

We hazed at our high school, too (but nobody has died): Hazing death inquiry at Florida A&M: New incident, new investigation

LiFePo4

Thinking about Maslow’s hierarchy of needs today, comparing individualistic versus collectivist societies.

And then, remembering the kid on the playground who ended the game by saying, “It’s my ball and I’m going home,” while reading about the U.S. and Iran trading words over a no-longer flying electronic gizmo called a drone.

Will Brazil clear the Amazon rain forest in my lifetime?

Will governments shrink as retirement/pension plans are taken away from workers, thus decreasing the desire of people to get quasi-guaranteed-for-life government jobs?  How will decreased tax revenues (a/k/a redistribution of wealth) change sociopolitical behaviour in the longterm?  Is there a destabilising effect by fewer government bonds being issued?

Should the leaders of MF Global be hung by their short and curlies as a lesson to everyone else who says, “Well, sure, I was the head of the company — ‘the buck stops here’ and all that — but I’m just there as a leech to earn a big salary, using my face recognition as a selling point.  I have no idea what I’m doing and certainly don’t know what’s going on in the company.  I use coded words and phrases all the time — management doublespeak — how am I supposed to know which code words or phrases are actually interpreted and implemented by my employees?”?

Is there a tipping point in biodiversity for our species?  Do we really want to find out?

What is the economic impact of Burt Rutan’s new venture?

Insects fly past the window.

A solar cell charges a battery on the front deck.

How many times have you gone out on a date with someone you met via an e-dating site and the date tells you, after meeting you in person, “Oh, well, I’m really serious about someone else”?  We use coded words and phrases all the time.  It’s up to us to figure out how to change our tactics/behaviour to hear different words and phrases the next time.  Remember, insanity is hearing the same thing over and over and expecting to hear something different even though you haven’t changed.

Thanks to Garrett, Linda, Tiffany and Heath at Cracker Barrel; Batteries Plus; Sophie’s link to a Simple Guide to Having Fun; those who don’t use mobile phones, the Internet or electronic social networks.

Time to have fun away from the computer-connected global subcultural meme set.  I assume the freedom of the Internet will be here when I get back.

Oh, and hey, be careful out there when buying Chinese real estate — the price of nest eggs in China DOES have an effect on you right now.  Somehow, I feel like I’m repeating myself, repeating myself, myself, myself, self, my, oh my…