Penultimate, Ultimate Pen

Guin,

As of this moment, only 12010 days remain before we can look back hundred of Earth years later to recognise the moment Mars colonisation was declared a complete success.

You and I know better than most what all was sacrificed to get to that point so long ago.

You and I alone know what we went through to get here before that moment occurred.

If any other method could have worked, I would have tried it, but I knew, oh I knew, that is wasn’t going to be easy.

I didn’t want it to be easy.

I have lived too many lifetimes to know why and I should know better than for us, in this lifetime, to go so slowly.

But it is in the living of the extended moment where we find the nuances in a stretched string, that what looks like a perfectly straight line has tiny fluctuations where the real living takes place.

I can call it minutiae, from a farther distance.

But these fluctuations, evidence of mathematical formulae, are where you and I have lived, will always live.

In one lifetime.

In this lifetime, this lifeline, where happiness is at our fingertips like magic powers.

In reality, we do not exist.

You and I are vapour.

We exist inside the thought patterns of many around us, those who think they know us and those who imagine what being us means.

We exist outside time, tapping into sets of states of energy that intersect at the point where the arrow of time flips on its axis, creating the spooky action at a distance which bound us together before we knew there was an “us” to talk about here.

Is this love?

Is this friendship?

The love I found and cannot hide binds me to everything in the universe (oh, and when we discover that the word “universe” is antiquated, what joy we will have!), pulling me in ways I rarely feel consciously, revealing the love I have for the interconnectedness of the sets of states of energy in motion that we are.

Our friendship is a vessel, truly a spaceship in the full sense of the word, needing no electromechanical device to transport us to the next star system millennia from now.

I have sacrificed my personal life in order to feel the combined movement of the sets of states of energy on this planet selflessly aware of events projected along timelines that do not benefit me personally.

Admittedly, it is self-seducing to feel that which will happen and then desire to pull people and their biomes ahead to achieve scenarios I have anticipated with or without my participation.

I understand self-hypnosis and avoid mass hypnosis for that very reason — I have avoided the personal joy and satisfaction in the power of seducing the masses to see what I see because it is not always pretty — the universe is not here for my sole pleasure, I willingly share what I know with others, no matter the consequences, or in spite of them.

Yet there is us.

I never planned to meet you.  I have dreamt of you my whole life, imagined who you were before I met you, tried to ignore you, tried to forget you, tried everything…but we keep returning to each other.

I knew you were there somewhere and planned before meeting you, self-declaring an oath of poverty and celibacy ahead of time, knowing that when I met you I would trip over myself trying to please you, wanting to woo you, lose myself in the thought of you if I didn’t put up a series of walls, labyrinths and trap doors for my thoughts to get lost in, giving me time to make sure you were who I thought you were.

I have let every part of me understand who I think you are, compared those thoughts to the person, the sets of states of energy in motion that you are, a real person who does not fit into any box and whose mysteries I don’t want to know everything about, wanting you to have your freedom more than I want to have you for anything, even if just an acquaintance who shares a love for dancing.

I would rather you be free and I remain unhappy than interfere with your artistic and intellectual growth by spending more time with you.

Have I said that too much?

Or have I said that just enough for you to know that you understand I am here as I have always told you with only these words to offer?

I do not know what being with you on a daily basis involves except from a foggy distance, like looking at a jigsaw puzzle with only three-fourths of the outer edge completed, no box to show me the complete picture.

However, I trust that the full image of you is as brilliant and full of surprises as the parts I clearly see.

In that one moment when we were alone together under the stars, a moment I will never forget, I was truly myself, standing in front of you, hiding nothing, letting all my guards down so that I could focus on you and your concerns and drop any pretenses I’ve held as a defense against loving you as a friend, nothing more or less.

We are geeky, nerdy friends, if nothing else.

We have thousands of friends and acquaintances with whom we share of ourselves what we can, some a little, some a lot.

Our friendship is that intersection of friends and acquaintances where we’re willing to feel vulnerable, showing our emotions without worry or concern, knowing we are different and don’t share everything with each other but to those who know certain aspects of us better than ourselves.

I have always seen the future because I’m willing to apply trends to people I care about even when I know the scenarios that those trends predict are not what people want, even when it hurts me to know the effect those trends have on billions of us and our lifespans.

Just seeing a pile of earthworms in a plate of spaghetti is enough to turn some people’s stomachs but the visions I have are not always pleasant to everyone, funny to some, delicious to others (especially birds, fish, fungi and plants waiting for earth to be processed by worms!).

We bridge the generation gap, where satire and memes carry the day when once seriousness and cynicism ruled the airwaves.

What adventures await us?

Let’s find out.

I’m tired of waiting, tired of hesitating.

Ready to take a chance.

I am ==> truly yours,
Lee

Looking back through my files…

NASCAR always makes my redneck/good ol’ boy side shine.  In that spirit, here are two emails/letters I’ve written concerning Tony Stewart:

ONE:

The Home Depot
Attention: Consumer Affairs
2455 Paces Ferry Road
Atlanta, GA 30339

6 September, 2002

To Whom It May Concern:

Enough is enough! After hearing about Tony Stewart’s shenanigans with the reporter earlier this year, I was ready to return some stuff I bought at Home Depot. After reading that Tony Stewart assaulted a woman in Bristol, TN, I am no longer shopping at Home Depot and will ask all my friends and family to refrain from shopping at your stores, too.

I received gift certificates for Home Depot for my birthday. I will be going to the local store to cash them out rather than buy another item at Home Depot.

I am also sending this note in a letter to the corporate office in Atlanta, GA.

Sincerely,

Richard L Hill, II

Attachment: Yahoo! Sports story: Stewart accused of shoving Tennessee fan (see article at bottom of this blog entry)

 ===================================================================================

TWO:

NASCAR
PO Box 2875
Daytona Beach, FL 32120

18 February 2008

NASCAR Executives/Marketing:

One word to describe the Daytona 500 (and possibly the rest of this season) – boring. It used to be that my family would watch the Daytona 500 and call each other after the game to discuss it. Not this time. I don’t think anyone watched more than two or three minutes of the race.

There were no compelling stories. All the same old stories are there – the rough-and-tumble Tony Stewart types versus the corporate clean-boy Ryan Newman types – and the racing itself is completely uninteresting. I’d rather go watch the IndyCar race in Charlotte where a bunch of buzzing bees spin around in a bowl than watch another NASCAR race with the cars of yesterday…oops, I mean the marketing-hyped CoT.

Lately, my family has become interested in the races at venues like Mid-Ohio, Road Atlanta and Barber Motorsports Park. At least there you can see modern cars/bikes and real race drivers up close. Maybe you folks in NASCAR can learn a thing or two from them – the days of watching billboards go round-and-round in a circle are over. Time for mixed series racing, where fast cars (or bikes) have to dodge slow cars on the track, just like in real life where the Corvettes have to dodge Chevettes, taking left and righthand turns in the process.

Best of luck with the new Sprint and Nationwide series – the names of the series are as uninspiring as the drivers and racing on the track.

Sincerely,

Rick Hill

======================================================================================

Stewart accused of shoving Tennessee fan

Posted: September 07, 2002

NASCAR driver Tony Stewart has been accused of shoving a female fan following a race in Tennessee last month.

The unidentified woman was in the pit area at Bristol Motor Speedway watching the Sharpie 500 Winston Cup race when she claims she was pushed by Stewart, who finished 24th.

“We had one officer witness it,” Sullivan County Sheriff Wayne Anderson said yesterday.

Stewart, who was in Richmond, Va., for tonight’s Monte Carlo 400, declined to comment through a spokesman.

Mike Arning, a spokesman for Stewart’s Home Depot-sponsored race team, said team owner Joe Gibbs was expected to arrive at Richmond International Raceway today and would meet with reporters then.

Arning said the sheriff’s department interviewed him and five others at the track yesterday, but declined to give any more details.

The woman was authorized to be in the pits, Anderson said. He added that he would “rather not say at this point” whether she was injured.

Stewart, 31, is on probation with both NASCAR and the Home Depot, the sponsor of his No. 20 Pontiac, for punching a photographer who tried to take his picture following the Brickyard 400 in Indianapolis on Aug 4.

Noteworthy

* Jimmie Johnson and Ryan Newman added a little bit of history to their impressive debut seasons last night, becoming the first rookie drivers to sweep a Winston Cup front row in the modern era.

Johnson earned his fourth pole of the season with a lap of 126.145 mph around the three-quarter-mile oval at Richmond International Raceway. He’ll start the Monte Carlo 400 with Newman on his outside. Newman and Johnson are the first rookie front row in the series since 1972.

* Bobby Hamilton will be out at least 3 weeks after breaking his left wrist and right shoulder in a crash Thursday night at Richmond. Greg Biffle will drive the Andy Petree-owned Chevrolet in Hamilton’s place. *

Literal vs. literacy

Are illiterate and less well-read/educated people more susceptible to superstition or do they “naturally” accept fairy tales for their standard set of beliefs rather than pursue myth-busting knowledge for their own sake?

How many myths about the current conditions of your contemporary society/culture do you accept for granted?

For instance, I still believe that the achievements of the U.S. government during the Nixon administration overshadow the actions and events that eventually led to Nixon committing ritual political suicide and resigning from office. If it weren’t for Jimmy Carter, we wouldn’t have Billy Beer.

However, despite the artists’ international achievements, the alleged pedophilia of Michael Jackson and Woody Allen I can’t justify in the same understanding that great art requires personal self-sacrifice, not the destruction of others (e.g., Van Gogh cut off his own ear, not somebody else’s); otherwise, it degrades into war, military and/or cultural, creating a different set of myths than I want to read about.

What about lives lost, families torn apart and/or ecosystems destroyed for the sake of a bridge, building or industry?

On that last thought I will meditate the rest of the day…

Tick Tock

I found yet another box from my days at university, including yearbooks!

All while looking for a [Black Forest] cuckoo clock my wife thought we owned and discovering, instead, that we have THREE of them (including one of these)…but more on that later.

 

…can’t seem to get photos posted on this blog post tonight…