The Stranglers

Time for this blog to take a diversion.

Faial used the trail of her GPS signal to send a message — today was it.

She spent the rest of her morning following a routine established as a break in a series of messages.

The operator, codenamed Fountain Pen, who gathered information on potential targets received the message and, with the aid of an IT administrator, replaced the message with Faial’s usual GPS signal information for that time of morning on an average workday in a big city.

So much information was gathered that no one was going to pay attention to the change in timestamp for one piece of sand in a world of deserts that the Central Depository represented.

= = = = =

The Committee agreed to send out more decoys and forward scouts to test defense lines of the enemy, an enemy that lived within the walls and secret meeting rooms of the Committee’s inner chambers…as planned.

The enemy was no longer a person, people, place or organisation.

The enemy had long ago become simply information.

Scholars, dilettantes and amateurs argued about the difference between data, knowledge and information, not necessarily in that order.

The Committee didn’t care.  In fact, the name “Committee” was itself simply a placeholder for a network of information gathering and misdisuninformation dispersal.

There were too many people who saw their corporal essence as the end-all, be-all of existence so a group of people were assigned to sit down together both physically and virtually to make a solely symbolic gesture toward the past and call themselves the Committee.

The network didn’t care as long as information fed the network’s need to justify its own existence.

= = = = =

At a reunion concert for a punk band, The Stranglers, a cybernetic organism known as Sir Rah mingled with the crowd.

Sir Rah was a prototype, an amalgamation of electronic and organic parts designed to mimic a drunk/high/stoned party animal whom no one would exactly remember nor question its shortcomings.

Sir Rah’s only duty was to collect skin, sweat, saliva and hormone samples without detection.

The creators of the program that turned a laboratory robot into Sir Rah had originally named their project, fatalistically, Que Sera Sera.

= = = = =

Faial had first heard about The Stranglers in the hallway of an old cotton mill in Huntsville, Alabama, where the Rocket City Jazz Orchestra, in association with the Huntsville Swing Dance Society, sponsored a Sock Hop.

Faial was generally shy, not prone to getting attention, so when she saw the high level of excitement on the faces of the people discussing The Stranglers and one of the band members ’70s broom mustache and long hair, she decided to sneak into the big city and see the band.

= = = = =

The night before the concert, Sir Rah, as programmed, walked into a theatre to view a screening of the film, “The Odd Life of Timothy Green,” written by the son of keystone member of the Mothers of Invention, Frank Zappa, who sported a broom mustache.

= = = = =

Faial, whose mother was of mixed French, German, Norwegian, English, Scottish and Irish heritage and whose father was a testtube baby, exact origins unknown, but said to be a perfect mix of all races and genders, was attracted to men with broom mustaches.

= = = = =

Sir Rah had a few flaws that its creators had not bothered to catalog because their funding had run short after the last political election that turned the general populace against advancements in science.

= = = = =

Faial had bought the latest in self-documentation gear, including necklace, headband, earrings, belt, wrist/ankle bracelets and backpack purse that recorded everything around her, as well as her vital signs like heartbeat/breathing rate and body temperature.

= = = = =

As the early birds found strategic locations to fully enjoy The Stranglers — some with their heads up against giant loudspeakers, some seated in chairs, some up in the rafters, Faial and Sir Rah wandered in, unaware that they both liked to stand in the front row, facing angry-looking bouncers who relished tossing hooligans off the stage and into sections of the throng that weren’t ready for body surfers.

A warmup band, Peter’s Ol’ Toole, an Irish band known for making stadiums full of rebellious youth riotous, offended everybody by naming all the religions they could think of and singing new lyrics to the melody of “I Saw Your God’s Face in My Pile of Stinkin’ Shite.”  Those they hadn’t offended they promised to carve into eentsy-weeny pieces of meat to feed the starving child labourers they kept locked in an unventilated lorry they drove from show to show just so the crowd could hear them screaming when Peter’s Ol Toole sent electric shocks through not only the lorry but several chairs and standing places in tonight’s school gymnasium chosen for this illustrious reunion of a long-forgotten band chosen to follow their magnificent performance.

By this time, Faial and Sir Rah were pressed against each other, joining the misspent youth around them spitting expletives and other joyous words at the band members standing a few feet above them.

The bouncers would occasionally grab a member of the audience, drag him or her over the rail and pummel the person with whatever blunt objects they had in their hands — flashlight, walkie-talkie, billy club, brass knuckles or studded neck collar.

Sir Rah registered each beating as closely as it could get without revealing its purpose.

Faial became fascinated with Sir Rah’s interest in what was going on over the railing so she climbed on a rail to see what would happen.

Within the blink of an eye, Sir Rah lifted Faial onto its shoulders and leaped on stage, stepping on the switch that electrified the whole auditorium because a union steward was upset that his crew didn’t get paid standard wages and wired the whole place to one switch as a joke, daring anyone in Peter’s Ol’ Toole to shock themselves and their drugged-out followers.

The deafening roar of explosions and horrendous smell of burning flesh filled the auditorium and flowed down passageway.

Thinking it was their cue, The Stranglers leapt to their feet as one, burst through the door of their dressing room and ran toward the stage.

They were met by the embodiment of Chaos they had sung about for years.

Bleeding and confused, fan and hater alike fled, knocking over The Stranglers in their haste, those who could stand, limp, walk, drag or run headed toward the exit doors.

Faial and Sir Rah observed the scene around them detachedly.

They were in their element, at the center without being seen, pebbles thrown into a pond watching the ripples they caused spread away from them as they sank to the quiet, still, comforting bottom.

Sir Rah lifted his foot off the switch and set Faial down.

They stared at each other, a switch inside them turning on.

They clasped hands and, stepping over the dead band members, walked off the stage.

= = = =

Back at her flat, Faial shared the recordings of her self-documentation equipment with Sir Rah.

Sir Rah opened up panels to reveal interfaces it could use to download its recordings, including a USB port that mated with Faial’s tablet PC.

While she attached her PC to Sir Rah, Sir Rah’s internal laboratory finished processing the samples it had gathered of violent bouncers, outrageous band members and Faial, the last of which Sir Rah did not know how to process, including  Faial’s lipstick stains on Sir Rah’s lips and Sir Rah’s responding elevated body heat.

Throughout the night and into the next morning, the two of them attempted to make sense of their information.

Meanwhile, Fountain Pen tracked Faial’s GPS signals and misinterpreted her change in routine.

Fountain Pen forwarded his computer’s interpretation of Faial’s GPS signal path from the previous evening and into this morning, when she failed to follow the designated path from flat to croissant cafe to workplace.

The recipient of the encoded message, codenamed Desk Drawer, forwarded the message on to Headquarters.

A clerk at Headquarters, codenamed Melted Wax, still blown away by the literally shocking events of the previous night’s concert, having not even seen the retro band he cherished from his days as a headbanger, had, ironically enough, a headache.

Melted Wax looked at the message and decided it was a tactical error by a secret group known only as the Committee.

“Chief.”

“Yes, Melted Wax?”

“I have a message from the Desk Drawer that came straight from the Fountain Pen.”

“Look, I’m not interested in another one of your crazy drawings.  My daughter hasn’t returned from spending the night at her friend’s house and I can’t get anyone to answer the phone there.”

“No, ma’am.  It’s a message from ‘Desk Drawer’!”

“Why didn’t you say so?”

“Well, I thought I did.  Anyway, I think we have the Committee caught redhanded this time.”

“Redhanded?!  You mean you have proof that rumours tying Bill Clinton to the Communist Russian regime are true?  Is Hillary secretly planning to turn the U.S. over to Putin?”

“No, ma’am.  For your sake, I’m afraid not.”

“Well, what is it, then?”

“According to this message, the child of one of our testtube babies is a core member of the Committee and appears to be tied to the terrorist attack on that rock concert last night.”

“Terrorist attack?  Rock concert?  What was the name of that band?”

“‘The Stranglers,’ ma’am.”

“Ahh…I’m beginning to see a pattern here!”

“You mean you already know about this message?”

“Yes, Melted Wax.  My daughter said she was going to a friend’s house to watch a movie called ‘The Stranglers.’  Now I bet she, her friend and her friend’s hippie parents all went to see that band.  Serves them right it was a terrorist attack they walked into…Communist pinkos like the rest of ’em…”

“But, ma’am, that’s your daughter you’re talking about!”

“Melted Wax, do you have any children?”

“No, ma’am.”

“Then you don’t understand the feeling that some of us want to be a Daddy Grizzly and eat our young who have not lived up to our standards.  Never mind.  Where’s the Committee member you’re talking about?”

“Last location was a flat in downtown.”

“Keep an eye on that testtube baby’s baby.  We may have use for it, yet.”

“Yes, ma’am.”  Melted Wax wrote down a new codename, TBabyBabe, and sealed the file.

Embossed business cards for the bossy busy cardshark

Once again, a scientific study released earlier this week proved that scientists’ demand for highly-precise and extremely-accurate scientific instruments to study climate change requires the very sophisticated ecosystem that creates global warming, glacier melting, coastal flooding and other disasters that the scientists are warning us against creating with our sophisticated ecosystem.

Reinforces the theory that the observers and the observation equipment directly influence the outcome of the “pure” experiment.

Is it better to have an ecosystem declining into ignorance to save us from ourselves?

The Law of Unintended Consequences outlives Cole’s Law (sliced cabbage and vinegar) to compete against Murphy’s Law.

There can be only one true law to rule us all, better known as the Law of the Kitchen Sink: it takes just a single hair to clog the drain and flood your home.

Do Corporations Feel Pain?

During my status as a member of the corporate world, I observed behaviours that are grouped under the heading, ETHICS (imagine big echo in a cavernous chamber: ethics-ics-ics-ics…).

During my status as a person contemplating the universe from the comforts of a cabin in a suburban forest, ethics have become meaningless.

Banks feel no pain when they pay fines for bad ethical behaviour.

Same for monoculture crop dominating corporations when they allow food prices to escalate due to poor seed/crop/farm management practices.

We know that being a politician is a life of questionable ethics to begin with.

These — all of the statements above — are meaningless statements in the ever-evolving global economy.

People of marginal moral behaviour are acting to stay ahead of societal/cultural curbs on borderline criminal activity.

What are ethics?  I do not know but I can guess.

Is it my duty to require those around me to conform to a specific set of characteristics in order to interact with me?

If a corporation is not a person and cannot feel pain (or any emotion tied to our species), how can I train, educate, convince or coerce the corporation to put my species first and profit second?

The people who run and/or work for corporations are responsible for the activities of the corporation.  They may convince themselves that phrases like “code of ethics” and “corporate citizen” protect themselves in the name of the corporation.

We may convince ourselves that the marketplace regulates corporate behaviour, if corporate citizens do not or government agencies cannot, due to lack of jurisdictional authority, for example.

While observing life on another planetary body, I laugh at the ways we’ve convinced ourselves we are an advanced civilisation because we’ve found/reinvented new methods to teach each other to conform to so-called standards of behaviour in the form of ethics and morals.

We are puppies chasing our tails, going ’round in circles, too dizzy to see what’s really going on in our quest to perpetuate the species.

When I run out of things to do on this planet but there’s no easy way to leave, what’s next to occupy my time?

Observing our behaviour in order to impress my father is no longer an option for me, personally.

This transition in my life is hard to describe in a blog entry without resorting to childish habits of lashing out in pain and anger.

Instead, I sleep long stretches of the day, not worrying about whether I wake up, happy to see sunshine, rain, clouds, heat and cold in equal measure.

To see the past, present and future as one has taken me to this point.

We live in one galaxy — there are thousands, millions, billions more galaxies to imagine how semi-autonomous beings like ourselves live.

We can imagine that other beings are more advanced than we and have solved (or not solved) ecological resource allocation issues, assuming a level of behaviour we call intelligence.

Every part/activity of the universe may be said to have had its moment to exist in a unique condition — hydrogen, helium, water, fission, igneous, comet, cupid, tree.

My life, no matter how long, is the briefest of time.

I exist in comparison to everything else that is distinct from the stimulus/response barrier that separates me in the moment from the rest of the universe.

I cannot see my breath.  I cannot see my skin cells dying.  I do not see the change in my brain’s set of neuronal pathways.

“I” is a limited observational machine, neither omniscient nor omnipresent.

Therefore, I do not know everything even if I can assemble a team of people and a large set of resources to compute probable futures based on possible pasts.

Words that are meaningless today: I, corporation, morals, ethics, time.

Without meaning, pain does not exist.

Without pain, we do not exist.

Existence is a made-up word.

The illusion of this blog entry ends now

The Saga of the Baked Potato

The Clinic to Free People from the Social Disease of Baldness announced their 1000th scalp transplant today, exceeding the number of face transplants, making many men and women happy, hairy customers, lining the pockets of salespeople trying to make a profit from every piece of donated bodies they have stockpiled.

The Hermaphrodite Artist Known as Unknown revealed its latest head transformation, having transplanted strips of living flesh of dead people from many races and tribes onto Unknown’s skull, thanks to the well-paid skills of the surgeons at the Clinic to Free People from the Social Disease of Baldness.  Rumours says that Benetton and Unknown are about to launch a new advert campaign together.

Stephen King and Google have signed an agreement to make a remake of a rerelease of “Christine,” with a Google autonomous vehicle assembling a stalker’s profile of certain people and following them around with a 360-degree camera, capturing WiFi data that it adds to its obsession with these people and accidentally posts to an anonymous hacker’s website occasionally out of a love/hate relationship that the vehicle is experimenting with in an emotional database it has built based on the DSM-5.

Our team of international peacekeepers tested its network of undetectable “mines” that were planted along the coastlines and in the ports of major Chinese, Russian and American cities.  The mines are actually motion-detecting, laser-guided stealth missile launchers that resemble the terrain at the bottom of oceans and bays, triggered by the movement of surface and submerged watercraft carrying military equipment.  Live demonstrations will depend on the outcome of upcoming coups and national elections in various parts of the world.

That’s all for today.  Back to contemplating life on another planet…

A few panorama shots to tie us over until time to talk in more detail…

Click on image for larger view:

Above: view from ATV trail in Dry Creek River Bed near Denali

Above: view of Gold Bottom Creek near Dawson City, Yukon

Above: view of road in Denali National Park

Above: braided river in Denali National Park (note the hikers)

Above: Lake Bennett, launching point for gold prospectors in late 1800s

Above: Meade Glacier as seen from helicopter

Above: Meade Glacier as seen from surface (approx. 1 mile wide)

Above: Cruise ship docked in Skaguay, Alaska

Above: scenic view in Glacier Bay

Above: scenic view in Glacier Bay

Above: scenic view in Glacier Bay

Above: ghost image of my wife created with panoramic software

Above: dockside in Vancouver

Above: funny merged image created by panorama function in software.
Thanks to Trisha the “Techspert” aboard the ms Zuiderdam for pointing out the new functions of Windows Live Photo Gallery, including panorama and crop.

What did this Alaska/Yukon/Canada trip teach me?  If the Canadian dollar continues to remain stronger than the U.S. dollar, I’m writing in Stephen Harper, the Canadian PM, for U.S. president, with Tlingit the official language!!!
Is it just me or has the evil, one-eyed zombie version of Bob Costas taken over hosting the Olympics coverage on the NBC network?

The Menace From Beyond The Grave Situation

While we set our supercomputers to analyse processes that heat our CPUs surreptitiously, we give you another list of books added recently to our old-fashioned library of paper-and-ink products:

  • Facts on Aviation For The Future Flyers Of Tennessee, (c) 1944 Tennessee Bureau of Aeronautics, Nashville, Tennessee
  • Submarine! The Story of Undersea Fighters, by Kendall Banning, illustrated by Charles Rosner, (c) 1942 by Artists and Writers Guild, Inc., printed in the United States of America
  • The First Book of Moses called Genesis, translated out of the original Hebrew and with the former translations currently compared and revised, set forth in 1911 and commonly known as the King James version, pocket edition by American Bible Society (instituted in the year 1816), New York
  • Stamp collecting book by Richard Hill, Sunset Trail, Knoxville 18, Tennessee, manufactured by U.S. Government Printing Office
  • History of America, by Carl Russell Fish, Professor of American History, University of Wisconsin, illustrations by Leon D’Emo and Will Crawford, (c) 1925, 1928 by American Book Company, Made in U.S.A., owned by Ralph Eldridge, Knoxville Central High School senior 1932
  • The Kingsport Strike, by Sylvester Petro, (c) January 1967, Arlington House, New Rochelle, NY
  • International Atlas and Gazetteer of the World, containing a new and complete Descriptive Gazetteer of the Principal Countries of the World together with a complete collection of up-to-date Political Maps of the World, Statististical [sic] Tables, Census Figures, Air Line Distances, etc., (c) 1935 by C.S. Hammond & Co., Inc., Map Engravers, Printers and Publishers since 1900

Meanwhile, our staff in the Department of Dastardly Deeds has developed a potential storyline for us to follow:

By experimenting with chemical formulae, scientists have perfected the ideal poison letter.  Soon, they will infiltrate the labs of laser printer cartridge manufacturers, change the ingredients of the cartridge contents and release the newest formula into the homes, factories, offices, Internet cafes, construction trailers and libraries of the world.

Then, when the time is right, they will activate the signal that tells the cartridges to print a special circuit on paper.

The circuit, combined with the special ink that, after being heated and fused to the paper, uses the release of heat as the paper cools to send a strong enough “charge” to a blob of ink in one corner of the paper to achieve a minor goal of the Department of Dastardly Deeds.

The scientists have asked us not to reveal their goal at this time.

We won’t, because we have to figure out if their goal aligns with our major milestones before we decide to increase or eliminate their department budget.

While that’s going on, we’ll let you know that the brain circuit reconfiguration we’re testing on Jesse Jackson, Jr., may work this time.  We have tried similar experiments on other members in the public eye (refrain from referring to our previous work as “lobotomy,” electroshock treatment, drug cocktail service, etc.), in order to keep them in line with our milestones.

Those who haven’t stayed on message have been moved aside (again, refrain from referring to our previous work as  “failing the newspaper test,” “assassination,” “drug overdose,” suicide, not seeking reelection, retiring unexpectedly, etc.).

Managing a planet is distracting, we admit, but, on days when we’re bored, it provides an entertaining respite from looking back at this time period 1000 years in the future while trying to live a fulfilling life 1000 years from now, too.

A Tool of the O’Tooles, the Toolmaker’s Tool, a Telling Toll of Tall Tales

Have you ever seen your influence upon another and wondered why the brief moment in which you created a character — Peter O’Toole’s Lawrence of Arabia, for instance, “Father of the Sponge” (‘Ab al-‘Isfanjah” (أب الإسفنجة)) — had longer-lasting impact on others than on yourself, a wayward drunk or a drunkard on his way up?

Are local musical acts, such as Mandolin Orange and Snake Oil Medicine Show, more interesting to you than overhyped international pop stars?

Do you find yourself typing the wrong word, “that” instead of “than,” frequently?  Can you trace that habit to your first typing lessons, formal rather than self-taught?

In the transition from one storyline to another, the Committee’s influence changes drastically.

Are you prepared for the change in the influence upon you?

Can you separate fact from fiction, reality from fantasy, storytelling from history?

Let us return to this time period, where our species’ influence upon itself garners the most attention…

History a few thousand or a few million years from now has plenty of time to tell its own story!

If the universe revolved around me, I’d…

This day — the time between major sleep periods — belongs to me.

You work for me, you play because I allow you to play, you sleep because you need to revive yourself mentally and you eat because I want foodgrowers to stay in business.

I do not feel angry yet I want to play with a solar flare powerful enough to disrupt our electronic communications systems which will test the capabilities of a larger network under construction in front of you invisibly.

This is my new nonsense story.

In this story, road reflectors/markers serve multiple purposes, including speed sensor, licence tag photo record maker, road spike/barrier trigger, autonomous vehicle lane control, EV battery recharger and uses yet to be revealed as the nonsense grows.

In this story, a third candidate for U.S. President will win the 2012 election, declare a dictatorship for the temporary time period needed to tear apart the cozy system in place rearranging the three branches of government — military, industrial, pharmaceutical — in order to build a more perfect union of global proportions.

In this story, the solar system headquarters will move from Earth to the Moon and eventually to Mars, to place a long distance between the leaders, their courtiers and the barbarians attempting an attack on spaceship launch sites in the middle of old sacred headquarters sites.

In this story, weather patterns are controlled by satellite, moving rain systems as needed to prevent drought.

In this story, global warming is still debated ad nauseum while people climb into taller and taller skyscrapers, requiring more efficient horizontal farming methods to support accelerating vertical cities until urban dwellers are forced to grow some of their own food within their living/working spaces.

In this story, algae and bacteria are farmed in converted fish tanks and furniture.

In this story, our species is modified to thrive on nontraditional food (fast food restaurant menus just a small step in the process), the next big step in major migration off our home planet.

In this story, a hot Earth and loss of habitat is training for our species and our symbiotic species to populate the Moon and Mars.

In this story, millions of people will still feel a connection to the “natural” ecosystems of Earth, wanting to stay; however, billions will have acclimated to a lifestyle not tied to seasonal weather patterns and will be ready to live in permanent offworld colonies with “artificial” ecosystems, competing aggressively for limited flights.

In this story, terraforming will fade as a nostalgic fad for recreating Earthlike conditions where one can still see wildlife roaming free/ly; 4D holidays will replace the need to “get away from it all.”

In this story, our universe is already a 4D holiday.

In this story, you think you know what’s going on but you don’t; in a parallel subplot of the story, you think you don’t know what’s going but you do; in a perpendicular subplot, you meet the selves that you present to everyone else, forgetting who you thought you were, replaced solely by your behaviour as a set of states of energy perpetuating and reproducing themselves as long as possible.

In this story, the solar system declares itself a conscious entity separate from its parts (us), showing its parts their precise function.

In this story, the galaxy is not yet ready to reveal itself as just another miniscule part of the universe, waiting to place our solar system and its parts in clear perspective as to level of importance.

But every story has a beginning, every god humorous as well as horribly humongous, giving mere mortals a sense of hope, no matter how futile, in front of a smug omnipresence wanting some fun with its playthings.

Domesticated Animals

What is one gallon (3.75 litres) of water worth to you?

In many parts of the world, a toilet is composed of a seat, a bowl full of water and a reservoir of water.

While your derriere warms the seat, you eliminate waste products (e.g., urine, feces) into the bowl and then use a levered mechanism to flush out the bowl, replacing its contents with the water in the reservoir.

A simple procedure.

Some of us are trained to drain the bowl after every use.

Some of us are trained to conserve water and drain the bowl after more than one use.

Some of us have no idea how to use the toilet, growing up with other means of eliminating waste — a hole in the floor, a hole in the ground (over which a wooden hut is built and then called an outhouse), writing your name in the snow, doing your business on the grass and covering with leaves, etc.

I grew up with unisex toilets in the home and gender-based toilets (bathrooms or water closets) in public buildings.

I don’t know how the people who avail themselves of the facilities designated for women in public places use the toilets.

In the unisex toilet at home, our parents taught my sister and me to flush after every use.

In the men’s room in public places, I have observed over the years a variety of behaviours, from clean, flushed toilets to bowls overflowing with waste and toilet paper.  [We have a toilet in the men’s room called the urinal but that one is eliminated from this discussion to focus on the more universal product for receiving our waste.]

When water is scarce, a gallon of chlorinated/fluoridated water mixed with waste products is as precious as some metals.

In that situation, what is proper is not prudent.

However, where water is abundant and treated water is inexpensive, let’s be courteous to those who’ll use the toilet after us and flush our waste away.

Surely, we’re educated and domesticated enough to handle that simple a task, eh?

There are plenty of other public places of your life to demonstrate your barbarian behaviour to better advantage.