“Yellow fever? It’s a disease, Jimmy!”

CHOMP-the-musical-poster

Just when you thought it was safe to enter the theatre, a new sound sensation has hit the stage.

Opening off-off-off Broadway, so far off that no critic dared review this musical for fear of being eating by invading zombies, CHOMP! The Musical is the latest, greatest adventure in the family of the Munchems, a normal father, mother, and children who were caught unawares by the zombie apocalypse while on vacation.

See zombies flying through the air!

See body parts flung into the audience!

Thrill seekers must sit in the first two rows to get splattered with blood and guts.

Don’t miss the finale, when Gallagher himself is eaten, crushed and spread like a smashed watermelon!

Hurry now!  Tickets are limited!  The shows are guaranteed to sell out overnight or the zombies will know who didn’t buy tickets and seek them out for fresh victims when the traveling version hits your town!

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Thanks to the following for their clipart:

http://www.illustrationsof.com/73068-royalty-free-zombies-clipart-illustration

http://www.illustrationsof.com/1118524-royalty-free-zombie-clipart-illustration

Ruralites Win A Skirmish!

In what pundits and boffins are describing as a victory for the Ruralites, the clandestine organisation, Journalists Who Abhor Prostituting Themselves for Adverts, released a report that details a secret agreement between the U.S. and Mexican governments.

The report shows that in order to quell gang violence in Mexico and the United States, the two governments agreed to the capture and slaughter of people who’ve entered the U.S. illegally or lost their legal right to stay in the U.S.

The processed carcasses, properly coded by U.S. meat inspectors, will be served to the people of Mexico as a gift from the Mexican government in an effort to show that the government cares more for its citizens than the local drug cartels which operate as if they control the country.

The report further detailed a pilot program that has been on the books for several decades, where “illegal immigrants” captured by former members of the U.S. black ops armed forces along the U.S.-Mexico border as well as within U.S. territory, including territorial waters, U.S. protectorates and over/on/under U.S. soil, were served as food on the platters in Mexican prisons.

No longterm ill effects or unusual medication conditions in the Mexican prisoner or ex-con population have been recorded, according to the report.

However, the report questioned whether the recent obsession with zombie apocalypse scenarios in the U.S. government and U.S. television programmes is a direct tie to subconscious realisations that people are really eating people already.

Both governments have flatly denied any involvement in such a scheme, although the U.S. government did admit a recent upswing in the number of USDA meat inspectors being hired, claiming it was to prevent more disease outbreaks in under-inspected meat plants.

The U.S. government also confirmed that no U.S. Border Patrol agents have been expressly ordered to capture and kill non-U.S. citizens.

The Mexican government would neither confirm nor deny that it was serving the meat of drug cartel family members at official Mexican functions as a means of showing the drug lords they are worthless chattel.

In concert with the announcement of this report, citizen reporters have released videos of Ruralites rounding up large numbers of non-U.S. people living illegally in their communities and turning them over to mercenaries driving large tractor-trailer rigs/lorries with Mexican license plates and fictitious meat company logos.

Short-term vs. Long-term Memory: Competing Against Our Technological Brethren

In the debate about debt restructuring and causes for male social infertility, let alone actual male sperm count decline, we face a longterm dilemma —

The advancement of technology past the ability of our short-term and long-term memory capabilities to keep up.

Do you compete against others?

Of course you do.

You competed with the distractions of the environment around your parent(s)/caregiver(s) for their attention to feed you, did you not?

You competed for the opportunity cost of baby clothes, baby food, toys and housing versus other items the money for your baby stuff could have bought.

You competed against life itself to live, from the very beginning of your existence — one specific sperm finding its way to an egg — at one time, a birth control device such as an spermicidal cream, a viral infection or mix of toxic chemicals in your mother’s womb could have wiped you out easily.

You still compete against the billions of nonsymbiotic cells that live on/in you for their/your existence.

We are sets of states of energy in constant competition.

That never changes.

History has a way of repeating itself.

Civilisations grow technologically, eventually creating an insurmountable gap in the echelons of civilisation complexity, usually between geographical regions, where competition between peoples is competition for the creation and use of better technology/tools.

When a global civilisation forms, there are no longer any barbaric civilisations with more brute force than clever technology to threaten any one highly-civilised population.

Instead, the barbarism grows from within.

Technology becomes a threat, rather than a benefit, to subgroups.

On a side note, hucksters can coerce unsuspecting customers into buying complex products for only so long until the customers start realising they’re giving the shirts off their backs for a set of the emperour’s new clothes?  How do the customers educate themselves enough to know they’re getting ripped off?

Technological automation improves productivity past the ability of basic tool-using skills so that large groups of workers with low skills are no longer needed.

Eventually, the threat of complex technology you can’t grasp, let alone compete against, is like a bully you can’t escape, beating you down at every opportunity to better yourself.

You’re trapped by your memory/cognition skills into a feeling of worthlessness.

The once proud, dominant male in lower/middle class society becomes a shadow.

But low skills are gender-neutral, despite current trends.

Not every woman is seeking more/higher education.

Where along the path of competition from birth does a person start losing touch with society because technology is too complex?

Technology refers to many things, such as language, cultural memes, shirt buttons, hammers, wheels, looms, chainsaws, and computers.

Is there a tipping point where this becomes a vicious, downward spiraling unraveling of our social fabric, regardless of attempts to turn the un[der]employed into entities dependent on the Mother State?

When does technology advance of civilisation become a threat to itself?

How do we determine where technology has failed to keep a person socially engaged?

How do we reconnect the unengaged both emotionally and intellectually?

What if every child was fitted with a device that automatically notified someone when the child’s behaviours and the environment were threats to the child’s long-term future?

What if that someone who was notified was a computer program that slowly nurtured the child into a useful place in a technologically complex civilisation?

When do the rights of a child to be functionally literate in a modern society override the rights of parents to raise their children to be whatever they want them to be — social misfits, creative geniuses or average, middle-of-the-road compliant citizens — the “rights” of the civilisation to grow and nourish unimportant to the parents?

The days go by fast

“It was a battle of epic proportions.”

Thus began the tale of a struggle between stabilising a region’s political entity through social dependency programs and advancing the desire for technological discoveries of a species intent on raising individual achievements to the highest order of idol worship.

Some saw an old hint of the battle of the sexes in the struggle.

For those who continued their work despite funding concerns and the need to attract investors/customers, the payoff was huge.

The fate of the species appeared to be in the hands of a few.

For Guinevere and Kathryn, the story was more personal.

To one, rocket propulsion and guidance systems were key to getting us off the planet with our wealth in tow.

To the other, a rural farm with a passel of horses — a stable lifestyle, so to speak — was key to a balanced future, using publicly-funded local/[inter]national security to protect property rights.

They were also connections in the web, the network of social bonds necessary for an important storyline.

Only 13,665 days remained, 13.665 1000-day segments of a chain linking the old ways on Earth to the new ways of the Inner Solar System Alliance.

The struggle to prevent the dilution of wealth for those setting the cornerstones of the Inner Solar System Alliance was tough.

On one side of the struggle were people labeled as Entitlementists who believed that the excess product of harvest should be spread out evenly amongst everyone, regardless of level of input (or lack thereof) into the process of growing/raising food, providing shelter, making clothes and/or protecting against predators.

On the other side were the Provisionists who believed that they, as primary creators of the harvest, had the perfect right to decide how to distribute (or not spread out) the excess product of harvest to the nonparticipants.

Starving artists and the chattering classes raised a lot of ruckus in order to draw attention to themselves and their need for food, shelter, clothing and protection, regardless of who provided it.

The civilisation had grown old, with many entrenched vested interests carrying on by inertia alone.

The Ruralites and Urbanskis saw all the diversions taking place — the foreign “wars,” the domestic disputes — and maneuvered into position to protect their territory.

The idle rich, who supported a cottage industry of high-end goods/services tinkerers and value-added providers, wanted their status quo to remain, regardless of who “won” the epic battle, the struggle between [sub]cultures for primacy.

The universe did not care — planets kept revolving, stars kept forming/dying and galaxies kept colliding.

In 1000 years’ time, all the comments, arguments and skirmishes faded into obscurity.

All that mattered was how the efforts of a single species were concentrated on getting its eggs out of one basket and deposited into a few other baskets to beat the odds of a single planetary catastrophe.

Everything else equaled silence.

Business.  Science.  Competition.

Toppling Giants

Do you listen to the sounds of [nonhuman] nature around you?

This morning, whilst eating oatmeal outside, I heard the alarm chirps of woodpeckers nearby, accompanied by the buzz of a chainsaw.

I looked around and could not find the source of the woodcutting sound, at first.

Finally, after using my pocket camera as a spyglass, I spotted the treehugging, limbclimbing, chainsaw-wielding giant slayer nextdoor:

Tree-trimmer

I accept that my new nextdoor neighbours are responsible owners of a patch of woods in which a small house, driveway and septic field line sit.

If I was a more responsible homeowner, there wouldn’t be holes in the eaves, bats in the belfry and mice in the crawlspace.

Or is that my head I’m talking about?

Anyway, here’s the word redefinition of the day:

Civilisation — what extra children who are not needed to grow/raise food build to overcome boredom and justify their existence when predators are no longer a balancing threat; deadend offshoots of evolution; entropy states in flux.

My friends in the archaeological business found a scrap of writing that had been stuck on the bottom of the foot of a mummified person who drowned in the Dead Sea.  Apparently, it clarifies the controversy surrounding the alleged age of Methuselah, said to have lived to 969 years of age.

Translation of the scrap of writing indicates that Methuselah actually lived 96 years and 9 months (or moons).

Young Earth proponents have seized on this last bit of data as evidence for a firm foundation in their beliefs that our planet is only thousands of years old.

Meanwhile, treasure seekers have begun a fullscale dredging of the Dead Sea for more fool’s gold in the form of the last civilisation’s toss-offs, trash dumps or other forgotten piles of detritus that antiquity collectors will pay top dollar in order to make connections between previous scraps that are practically senseless but cost too much to say they’re worthless.

Ever feel a hankering for sumpin’?

I feel an urge to combine the following items into something that I don’t quite know what yet:

  1. ScriptKit drag-and-drop programming.
  2. Sarah Palin cutout doll kit.
  3. Cardboard Christmas wrapping paper tubes and Amazon shipping boxes.
  4. “Free stuff” sites like Craigslist, Freecycle and Yerdle.
  5. Valued-added software like InboundWriter.
  6. Je ne sais quoi…

Another stop-action story, perhaps?

A new hand-drawn animated comic?

Meanwhile, back on Earth…

Some people prefer not to mention where they’ve been — the restaurants and retail establishments — because they assume no one wants to know.

However much I agree that we aren’t interested in knowing the minute details of a person’s day, regardless of the person’s fame/infamy, how many of us like to see our names in print?

People to thank for their services: Paul at Surin Thai Restaurant; Drew, Cynthi and Kay at Publix; Garrett at Cracker Barrel; the backdock receivers at Goodwill Industries; ticket issuers at the Living Christmas Tree; UAH men’s basketball players who beat a Division I school’s basketball team for the first time in school history; UPS package deliverers; more to follow.