Before there was 9-1-1…

In the United States, a three-digit number can be dialed/called that will connect you to an emergency assistance call center.

Apparently, the young men below hadn’t yet gotten the memo that the old number, 0-5-1, is no longer in use.

However, we appreciate their enthusiasm and give them a “thumbs up” for their effort!:

= = = = =

Congrats to my secondary school alma mater, the Central Cougars, for their win last night — your coach seems to have found the magic formula this year.

And finally, we ask the police department not to do any more favours for the University of Tennessee – Knoxville men’s football team, such as providing locker room material that, “just in case” our team beats a longtime rival, the police will prevent fans from entering the field of play to celebrate.  You jinx our team one more time and you better believe that we’ll accelerate the decrease in your pension plan, especially that of your leaders, “just in case” you don’t get the message the first time.  Yeah, that’s right — it’s a direct challenge!  Some of us would rather see a few broken bones and injuries amongst the diehard fans after we’ve annihilated our sports enemies than sit at home and mop up our spilled beer in defeat.

When 102000+ people were gathered to recite the Lord’s Prayer

So, the world now has proof that the most violent religion is Islam, if global protest headlines speak louder than words, and cult followers don’t have a sense of humour/irony, willing to kill others and die because a few actors were conned into making fun of a religious leader and his god in a video?

Meanwhile, our covert operatives, assigned to no country, used the noise and chaos to slip into place, as always, ready to assassinate at the first word from the Committee, keeping this 3D chess game moving forward into new areas of the protestors’ territory.  If a protestor or a person who incited a protestor dies off-camera in a horrible traffic smashup or accidental fall/food poisoning at home, who’s going to pay attention?

Yes, you’re right again, of course.  “Assassinate” is such a strong word.  Should I have said remove the chess pieces from the playing board, instead?

However, when using the globe as our playing field, we do what we must to accomplish a goal greater than a species or nation ever outlives, changing the anthropomorphic state of sets of states of energy as the need arises.

Unfortunately, the Obama administration will forever be tied to the use of cowardly strategic murderous drone strikes, instead of putting himself and his drone option last, when he should say our military personnel, both those directly employed by our government and those indirectly employed as contractors/mercenaries, are, in person, used to carry out secret death sentences or actively engage in the legal right to proactively defend themselves during war.

In place of a HOPE poster, there will inevitably be found on the side streets of the Internet a picture of Obama looking like BIG BROTHER in “1984” with his finger pointed at you, saying, “Remote-controlled killing is love.  A dead citizen is a happy citizen.  Coercion is freedom.”  All in the name of feeding this storyline, which appears to question the old storyline that stated the latest enemy is Islam, but only in the strictest radical sense, whatever that means in selling headlines more succinctly, a tradition of every country that divides killing into bins: socially-unacceptable murder or organisationally-acceptable restructuring.

Then, on an opposite street will be Romney, smiling, saying, “I do not kill unarmed Muslims without open due process.  I love all people, regardless of religious affiliation, bad comic timing or alleged criminal guilt.  Only my God can judge you, whose teachings I follow to the letter of the writings I read most often with more conviction than my opponent.”

Would it make more sense if public trials were held for defendants in absentia, who are given time to appear, even via the Internet, to face their accusers before being convicted of murder and sentenced to death by any means necessary, as long as it was not cruel and inhumane, including instant death by drone strike?

Are drones becoming too politically risky, creating the wrong kind of unintended consequences, scaring people and reinforcing rather than changing their subcultural beliefs?

This weekend, I stood in the midst of a group of 102000+ people gathered to celebrate their right to peaceably assemble and watch the three-ring circus we call a modern college football game, none of us expecting to be hit by a drone strike but willing to be filmed with no monetary compensation by dirigible-, crane-, guidewire-, hand- and helicopter-mounted cameras.

At the beginning of the game, on a public/state-sponsored university campus, a man spoke over the public address system to say a prayer before the players started tossing themselves at each other.  This week, the speaker happened to lead us in a rendition of Christian text called the Lord’s Prayer.

We also watched the uniform number of Johnny Majors, a college classmate of my parents, retired from active use by the university football team, which brought a tear to my eye knowing one of my parents could not be there in person to join the festivities.

During the break between the two halves of the game, called the halftime show, for some strange reason, the university “Pride of the Southland” marching band included a Scottish pipes and drum ensemble which played both “Scotland the Brave” and “Amazing Grace,” as well as the inevitable “Rocky Top.”

And today, as we left Knoxville, we saw dozens of old muscle/classic cars/trucks leaving east Tennessee, as well as a few stragglers from a large motorcycle gathering heading north from a Trail of Tears ride.

Can I extract trends from these last few data points, wondering where, anywhere and everywhere on this planet, people were reinforcing their beliefs due to recent news headlines?

Me, I’m happy to see people do what they want, as long as they don’t physically harm others.

Then again, I enjoyed the football game, even if my alltime favourite college football team, the University of Tennessee Volunteers, was unable to post the higher score by the time the game ended, when many a player could easily show evidence of physical harm.

So, I’ve got a basic belief of mine to reconsider: freedom to be in the act of “first, do no [physical] harm.”

If nothing else in my beliefs this weekend, there is a sense of poetic justice, where, on the same weekend my team lost its game against a formidable opponent, a team now coached by a man who claimed to love the Vols but left us high-and-dry — Lane Kiffin — also lost.  I can’t remember and maybe you can help me…which players with questionable ethics attended the same school?  Was it O.J. Simpson and Reggie Bush?

I know our new coach, Derek Dooley, instills a real winning attitude of moral and ethical beliefs in his players as they reach successful goals in their career paths, in and out of the physically-harmful sport of American football.

While straying into sports, I keep having fun with this comical tirade on behalf of a political election campaign, seriously yet cynically satirical (or is that cynically yet satirically serious?), when I need to go on down the trail this storyline was going to take after the last blog entry but I’ve let myself get caught up in eddies and swirls of news headlines again, haven’t I, either way?

Old age, I guess.

Well, I’ve got to help my wife clear space in our space (“our space” is a house, in this case) to make room before we move her mother’s furniture from her sister in-law’s house, the furniture having worn out its welcome, as all guests are prone to do, including family.

Tomorrow, I’ll thank folks for their help this weekend, including Cassie at Bel Air Grill and Silvia at the Airport Hilton, my cousin Cindy and her husband Ron, and more…

Thank goodness I do not live in the ultra-regulated city-state of Singapore, because it considers illegal the flash mob performance of a haka that was as fun to watch as a spontaneous Scottish Highlands bagpipe concert.

When Sleight-of-Hand Gets Out-of-Hand Hands-Down

What’s the point of having a mercenary army at your fingertips if you can’t use it to achieve your goals?

Me, I’ve been here before so it’s time to remove myself from current events, letting people figure out how many ways the Iranian government, along with other partners, uses smoke and mirrors to achieve longterm goals.

Ever wondered why some people who call themselves white find a way to lament that their ideas and history would be so strong that, like a rare earth magnet, they attract people of all colours, shapes and sizes to want to experience/share/carry on the ideas and history, too?

Do they not see that the best way to prevent a worldwide war is to mix people together into a homogenous whole, where no one area on Earth has the exclusive right to foment war on behalf of out-of-date ideology?

In the meantime, any government in transition has a weak spot — it’s up to the dragon slayers to find the spot and act.

Are you willing to attack an indigenous mob and face further negative connotations/consequences in global mass media coverage?

When is a drone a liability rather than an asset?

How does a world police force maintain order when the crowd is mentally and physically armed against the force of police?

Which is the most violent ideology — Buddhism, Hinduism, Taoism, Christianity, Islam, Judaism, Pantheism, Agnosticism, Non/Atheism, Capitalism, Confucianism, Communism, futbol, chess, disc golf or quilting?

Which is least violent?

Remember the three tenets of the new slogan in this blog: “Business. Science. Competition.”

And now, finally, after months…no, YEARS of waiting to reveal the next step, the natural progression, of the direction of this blog, let us move behind the curtain and see what’s really going on in the parallel universe where these symbols have no meaning.

In a conversation with my group of diverse friends…

Finally, some real entertainment news for the U.S. election season to wake me up from the doldrums!  I knew my friends would produce stupendous headlines to keep me from nodding off into the morning bowl of oatmeal, drool running from mouth down the sides of the tablet PC scrolling international news because the tickle of my chin hairs felt like a finger swipe as I snored.

I spoke to a few sets of friends to get their take on what they’d like to see, the news behind the news…

In Republican-friendly news publications today, a documentary purported to have been recorded while Obama’s father was alive reveals that the ultimate plan of the Obama family was to work covertly with the bin Laden tribe to give Iran the capabilities to build a nuclear bomb, destroying Israel once and for all.

In Arabic-language news publications today, the Islamic leaders who, Allah be praised, believe that no man can purely be of two religions, asked their followers to prove, once and for all, whether Obama should have to demonstrate true loyalty to his professed religion, Christianity, or loyalty to the religion of his father, Islam, Allah be praised.

In science news today, a group of first graders asked President Obama to read a passage of one of his autobiographies to show where, in his youth, he was first inspired to want to put politics ahead of a promising career in science, technology, engineering or mathematics.

The construction industry today announced a new plan to work with the Obama administration to boost business, including support for several legislative acts that reduce government spending to prevent the U.S. from receiving a lowered value from a bogus rating agency by eliminating all environmental, labour and other regulations that slow construction and force businesses to give highly-inflated wages, safe working conditions and allegedly competed contracts for government construction projects but, instead, will include enough bribesgraft…off-the-book fees to fill the government’s coffers without increasing taxes or imposing the need for ethical policies and procedures.

The Society for Creative Anachronisms announced a new category called The Crusades that re-enacts the European kings’ actions to placate their people in honouring popular religious practices such as Catholicism and worship of popular political figures like Obama by staging a series of Muhammadan protests in the old Ottoman Empire, making the U.S. military and its allies perform the role of the Crusaders by defending U.S. interests in north Africa and the Holy Land.

Zionist websites today decried the mistake of electing Obama president of the United States, seeing their worst fears realised as Obama makes a ploy to solidify himself as leader of the Muslims, perhaps even declaring Islam as the only true world religion, indicated in his obvious snub of Netanyahu as a pretext to announce Iran as a nuclear power in violation of the Nuclear Nonproliferation Treaty that Israel may or may not have also violated.

Apocalyptic Christians started gathering at a secret commune in preparation for the end of the world as predicted would take place when war broke out in the Middle East, dragging the major world powers into mutual destruction.

The spirit of Carl Sagan sighed today while he waited breathlessly to see if his forecast for a nuclear winter would finally come to pass.

Baseball fans, clueless about world events, placed their bets on which teams would take the final wildcard positions before the regular season ended, a few wondering if Obama had a favourite team in America’s game.

Apple fanboys the world over sliced and diced the news about the latest cookie cutter phone labeled the iPhone 5, praising and condemning the new phone’s hardware specs at the same time that news about political uprisings and Obama’s responses/rebuttals scrolled by on their screens during Internet throughput tests.

Film producers announced the formation of a corporation to start preproduction on a movie titled “Trading Places 2,” where Eddie Murphy, now a retired multimillionaire, is conned into trading places with an out-of-work scientist who has a Nobel Prize in Physics, which the producers hope will inspire the next generation of kids to forgo a career in business for a STEM career much like the original “Trading Places” inspired kids to trade a life of street crime for a life of Wall Street crime, leading to the Great Depression by logical extension.

A Game of Virtual Martial Arts

In order to reduce head, and thus brain, injuries, the national referee committee for the American sport known as football ruled today that players may no longer run into each other but must engage the opponent using martial art techniques, no blows to the head or groin area allowed; otherwise, kick and punch as much as you want to move forward or stop the movement of the football.

The goal of moving the football over the baseline of the opponents’ “end zone” remains in effect.

All other rules are in the process of being reviewed, pending the outcome of the dispute over islands in the East China Sea, which the NFL was hoping to sponsor one of their playing surfaces for an expansion team in Hawaii (the Senkaku-Diaoyu Field), and a small disturbance in Egypt over the portrayal of Mohammed as a gay misogynist who hated his mother and believed the only good woman was one enslaved by marriage to a bisexual polygamist, which the NFL was going to allow as a mascot for a new team to be announced at the end of the season.

The joys of a sporting fan’s life

Two teams, two wins: Univ. of TN football, Jeff Gordon’s crew.

Enough said.

Well, almost…how about the fantastic careers of Pat Head Summitt and Bill Curry, everyday, hardworking heroes?

A nod to Madison at Barley’s, ushers at UT stadium, bus drivers, and football/race fans who support their teams through thick and thin skinned moments.

Sleep well!

Two data points

Would you believe that Vladimir Putin is a big fan of the actor, Jeff Daniels?

Yes, it is true.  Putin admits privately that his latest stunt, flying with cranes, was inspired by a film starring Jeff Daniels, Fly Away Home.

Men quit jobs due to Internet addiction but deny they’re asexual, claim it’s just a cat infection problem — news at 12, 1, 4, 5, 5:30, 6, 6:30, 8, 9, 9:30, 10, 10:30, 11, 11:30, 12…as soon as Tom Brokaw wakes up from his sleeping pill addiction, that is.

Drum roll, please!

Wake us up after the ECB finishes its latest fruitless fishing expedition — you won’t find many appetising meals in the EU economy.

What is lambda over pi?

In the part of the world where I burn fossil fuel to push a four-wheeled vehicle over paved roads, I often encounter math geeks proudly displaying an unusual symbol that I can only describe as lowercase lambda over pi.

These geeks refer to themselves by a moniker that makes even less sense than the symbol — the Crimson Tide — expressing their sheer delight that math equations equate to broken bodies on a field of play, preferably of young men on the other side of the line, some on “offense,” some on “defense,” and some on “special teams.”

Where did this mathematical symbol originate and what does it mean, precisely:

Beware Greeks geeks bearing gifts — that’s all I have to say!

Finally, a quiet nod to a humble man who preferred anonymity for taking one step on behalf of his species in appreciation for the math, engineering, science and technology that allowed him to put his bootprints on a natural satellite circling our planet.

Thanks to the kind folks at the Main Dish in Meridianville, Alabama, who served up a delectable meal for my wife and me and told us about a show on the tellie called Restaurant Impossible which features the family and decor changes that transformed an old ice cream parlour interiour into an elegant roadside steakhouse.  Casey — blonde hair or brunette — your service was perfect.

POV

Wow!  What a controversy!

The World Health Organisation, the World Trade Organisation, People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals and the National Labour Relations Board ruled today that television broadcast of children’s games, including the Little League World Series and high school football, directly violates international child labour laws.

The UN Security Council reached an impasse, with the U.S. and China both agreeing that exploiting children in order to sell junk food and advertising is a basic tenet of the UN charter and should be respected as such.  The Ad Council supported the agreement, as did former world leaders Tony Blair and Taro Aso (麻生 太郎).

The technology company, Apple, denies any involvement in exploiting child labour — it only employs adults whose labours, by happenchance, might have been exploited when they were youngsters.

More as it develops.

Get your tweet on

So how many people have tweeted that it would be fitting if the NASCAR driver AJ Allmendinger failed this drug test because of cocaine just before he’s supposed to drive in the “Our formula contained zero percent cocaine (but, maybe, coca leaf ‘extract’)” Coke Zero 400?

Random drug testing — another catchy phrase for “I saw my opponent use the same drugs as me and I want him to lose so I’ll report him before he reports me.”

Also known as the Jose Canseco Rule.

Who says NASCAR isn’t a professional sport?  Unruly behaviour?  Punching fans and reporters?  Messy, public divorces? Failing drug tests?  Gee, sounds like every other professional sport on this planet, doesn’t it?

In other words, time to sit back, unsnap the top button on my pants after eating a big, hearty meal at Amis Mill Eatery (Happy 23rd month birthday to your child, Brandi!) and snooze in front of the TV edition of the Doozy in Daytona, courtesy of clueless NASCAR owners/officials.

If history doesn’t repeat itself, why read about it in the first place?

What’s been going on in India lately that hasn’t been going in Sydney that I need to talk about here?  Ich weiß nicht!