Best review on Amazon?

Okay, I just had to repost this guy’s one-star review of Gladwell’s new book. Hilarious!

Read on:
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I witnessed, in no less then three incidents, the derision that followed when Malcolm Gladwell’s “David and Goliath” was mentioned.

The first occurred in a bookstore with a stock of works from all over the world. They have two floors. It is located on 21st Street and Park Avenue in Manhattan. I asked the clerk for a copy of Gladwell’s latest. Even though the store was crowded he laughed out loud. I asked him what was so funny and he promptly yelled out, “The register is closed, everybody out!” Once the customers exited, he said he wanted to show me something.

In the back, he ushered me through a door. It was the stockroom. Far in the corner he showed me a stack of “David and Goliath” books. He explained a number of patrons returned it, vitriolic in their epithets against the work. He had to refund the unhappy customers and he was left with the aforementioned wobbly stack. When I asked how he could laugh about his loss of revenue he replied: he had read a copy and thought that his five year old nephew’s letters from his homeland of Pakistan showed more talent and imagination then what he had read in D & G. That said, he broke into uncontrollable laughter.

Last week, I was invited to a luncheon at Columbia University. One of the professors, Dr. Garibaldi, had set it up with my agent. At Columbia on the day of, there was a smattering of perfunctory small talk. Garibaldi went on about how I hit it (New Yorker essay) dead on and how the New Yorker hadn’t received a dressing down like that in at least the last twenty-years. I moved on to a new subject and told of the bookstore episode. At first a dead silence. Then one of the more easy going (I thought) professors, Dr. Wing, shouted out, “Why must this pseudo-fact-fiction Gladwellesque be published?! I simply sat back and thought. What is with this book?

The last incident happened at an internet café aptly named, The Cave. Located under the shadow of the Brooklyn Bridge, one is in perpetual darkness.

At another table, I overheard two young women talking about “David and Goliath”. The louder of the duo fairly shouted about the work, “It is truly a spectacle. A more annoying, cloying writer could not be assembled anywhere else. God bless the Queen and save us from her subjects!”

At that she broke into peals of laughter and with the glow of the computer monitor lighting her face and the dark back drop, she had much the look of a cackling witch. Her friend joined in and an employee came over to ask them to settle down. When they told him what they were laughing about, he started chuckling too. Then it was a contact high; people were literally rolling on the floor. By the time I left, the place was ready to come down in a cloud of raucous laughter.

Chris Roberts, Patron Saint of the Cackling Ones

The difference between hackers and writers is …?

How do I distinguish the difference between fact and fiction? Sometimes it’s hard to say if a leaf is a leaf or an insect.

Fame brings you praise and derision.

What does one person’s view of a magazine and its writers say about hacking, writing, fact and/or fiction?

Self-serving oneself is an industry all its own [warning: embedded link is NSFW].

Sigh…if only the WordPress app on my iPad 2 would quit crashing!

What is artful thinking?

Today, I held in my hand all of my life’s savings in one check (well, most of it, anyway) — millions and millions (of pennies, at least).

I walked into an office building and handed the check to a woman I’ve seen maybe five times in my life for a total of 10 or 15 minutes.

She kindly made a photocopy of the check and wrote my phone number down.

I turned and walked out of the office building.

What that an act of artful thinking?

Guess it’s time to start thinking ahead now that I’m fully into the second year of the second 50 years of my life, virtually penniless.

My second childhood is in full bloom.

Waaaah!  Smack me, Abi, I’m being a bad boy!  😉

Time to memorise some dance moves — my inexperienced description of them below —

lead’s point-of-view (thanks to Matt Auclair for putting them together with Abi):
  • Horse-and-cart whip
  • Left-side pass to stop her in basket position
  • Walk behind, pass her right side, stop in front, turned to the side
  • Left-side pass with right hand, inside turn, then he goes under
  • Her walk around him, underarm turn
  • Quarter turn to his left
  • Sweetheart with his left hand, underarm turn to her right
  • Right-side pass, whip with over/underarm turn
  • Behind-the-back pass with double outside turn, change hands
  • Right-side pass with basic salsa move, end with her turning complete circle on left foot, right leg extended, ending in split
  • Overarm turn, start walking on left leg, she taking two steps and turning, he taking two steps with her and two more
  • Sugar with two-hands, swaying toward/away from each other
  • “Pretzel” — turn her, then him, turn her out with right hand
  • Right-hand pass behind back, turn back around her left
  • Left-hand pass with turn into sweetheart
  • Walk forward in sweetheart hold

 

Urban vs. rural?

Yesterday, my wife and I passed a Catholic school/church where people here in north Alabama were standing on a sidewalk holding up handmade signs protesting abortion — the majority of the people in the crowd looked Hispanic and were conservatively-dressed.

In the national news lately, there has been an analysis of political wrangling over the recent “shutdown” of the U.S. government.

And in one news outlet, the comparison was made to show that the breakdown of support for the shutdown is partially aligned with the states that seceded during the U.S. Civil War.

I wonder if it’s more of an urban vs. rural thought set/mentality — the city slicker versus the independent cowboy, an extension of the Wild West/eminent domain/manifest destiny zeitgeist.

In other words, pick your poison pen letter and write for a target audience.

From my perspective, the conservatives in north Alabama are not all white or associated with support for keeping the blacks/browns/underemployed/uninsured economically suppressed.

It seems to be a longer-term objective to change the beliefs of the latest generation of new Americans toward a United States that is more competitive globally.

Whether that strategy works will play out over the next decade.

Time to click my stopwatch and see.

In military news…

For those of you who need that extra boost during your night patrols, we can supply you with large bottles of fermented liquid labeled “Wound Care.”

Should you require sterilisation, the liquid will clean an open wound.

Just don’t light a match because it’s PGA, and I’m not talking about the Professional Golf Association, either!  [HICCUP!]

Also available in your grocer’s freezer.