Tag Archives: satire
Unpacking
Guinevere woke up, seeing the same space above her head she had seen for months.
Except this time gravity pulled her down upon the sleeping unit.
She sighed.
To have all these years behind her compressed into memories to give her this one moment of happiness!
She rolled over and flipped her legs out, her feet naturally falling to the floor more slowly than on Earth but faster than on the Moon.
She knew today would be a good day, unpacking the last crate just so they could turn around and load the exploration vehicles which had landed on Mars months earlier.
Guinevere rubbed a chemical sponge over her body, combing two drops of moisturising conditioner through her close-cropped hair.
She slipped into her one-piece jumpsuit, stepped into her workboots and walked over to the doorway where her self-contained breathing outfit, ruggedised for the Martian environment allowed her to move from her landing pod to the temporary outdoor workspace set up to complete tasks on today’s agenda.
After she dressed, Guinevere spoke into the comm mike in her helmet, which also vibrated a secondary unit attached to her jaw that picked up the more accurate nuances of her voice for emotion/personality analysis by the automated computer system that tracked everyone, fully human, part human/part cyborg, or fully cybernetic organism. “Team One Leader ready to depart.”
Voices echoed back into the hearing device installed beside her inner ear, every member of her team reporting on time and ready to act.
Precise as an algorithm to start the day.
How long this would last, she did not know. They planned for many contingencies but not every possibility.
Last night, one landing pod spun off-course and crashed, a crew diverted from this morning’s tasks to investigate, hoping to find survivors as well as salvageable gear.
Guinevere stooped into the small airlock, pressed a button to stabilise the atmospheric pressure and waited for the outer door to open.
A few hours and she’d be on her way to see if the microorganisms released by a top secret probe had survived, died, or more importantly, thrived!
Another look back
Finally cleaned out the old trunk — adding a few more jewels to the scanned collection before saying goodbye to dead trees and colourful ink, some lined up with current events such as the Super Bowl, a Steve Jobs biopic, new release of Microsoft Office, new release of 128GB iPad and the price of coffee these days:
Trunk and Treats
More found objects…this time, in the bottom of a flat top trunk:
New G.I. Joe “live action” figures
Gretyuo attended the local 3D printer show hosted by a global toy manufacturer looking for the latest in state-of-the-art ideas from home builders.
Gretyuo was looking for anyone who may have beat him to a design he was going to reveal the last day of the show.
Nothing, not even close.
The next two days he demonstrated a line of toys with harmless laser pointers, attracting a few buyers but nothing that paid for his booth.
Then, on the last day, two hours before closing, Gretyuo pressed Play on his MP3 player and a loud blast of trumpets blared from speakers hidden in the display at the top of his booth.
Waiting a little while for the first people to arrive, Gretyuo flipped a switch on a large countdown clock, starting with five minutes.
4:59…
3:59…
2:59…
2:30…
2:00…
1:45…
1:30…
1:15…
1:00…
00:45…
00:40…
00:35…
00:30…
00:10…
00:09…
00:08…
00:07…
00:06…
00:05…
00:04…
00:03…
00:02…
00:01…
00:00
The trumpets blared one more time and Gretyuo pulled down a black curtain that divided the front half of the booth from the back half.
Gretyuo motioned a small boy over and offered him “Camo Carl,” a G.I. Joe-style action figure to hold.
Gretyuo showed the boy how to press a fire button on the shoulder-mounted launcher on Camo Carl.
The boy pressed the Fire button and a little laser light flashed at the end of the barrel.
Gretyuo pointed to an action figure standing on a stage at the back of the booth and asked the boy to aim the laser light at the figure.
The figure snapped apart as if it had been hit by a bomb.
Gretyuo repeated this for other action figures, some whose limbs fell off and some whose clothing seemed to change from camo to red as if they were bleeding.
Within the next two hours, Gretyuo had sold out of his supply and signed a deal with the global manufacturer.
Children’s military action toys were never the same…
Cleaning out a computer drawer untouched for 20 years
Pictures speak for themselves — if not, enjoy the silence anyway:
Labels by any other name are just as thorny an issue, if not libel
Amo, amas, amat
What is global warming or climate change and what does it have to do with the price of solar panels in China?
Good question.
Perhaps the Atlantic Ocean has something to say in response.
Emerald Isle of Ire
In Hollywood news, underground sources say that Colin Farrell and Scarlett Johansson are in secret negotiations to remake “The Quiet Man,” directed by the Farrelly brothers in an attempt to reboot their careers after the disastrous show of “Movie 43” at the box office, with costarring roles played by Colin Quinn, Conan O’Brien and Lindsay Lohan (reprising her dual roles as the twins from “The Parent Trap”); a cameo by Maureen O’Hara has not been confirmed.
Between here and fraternity
Am I any better today than I would have been had I no simultaneous access to notebook PC with second monitor and Internet connection, portable phone connected landline with Caller ID, and mobile smartphone with Internet connection and variety of apps?
These devices feed my brain’s wiring more than the rest of my body — I can’t eat the phone(s) or computer very easily and wouldn’t get much nutrition if I could.
These devices help generate income for myself and those with whom I communicate.
Income, or labour/investment credit, buys us opportunities.
Now that we have virtual communities with virtual money, what do we do with our virtual opportunities?
The perpetrators and victims of cyberwar don’t care about gender or sexual preference.
This notebook PC doesn’t know if I’m a cybernetic organism typing on the keyboard.
As always, the tree outside has no idea what any of this means, breathing in the air and soaking up the nutrients that we share with it in our planetary ecosystem.
If a bunch of people sat together with robots and remotely operated mining gear on this planet, the Moon, Mars or an asteroid, how do we profit?
What is the value of friendship between us, in other words?
How much material on the International Space Station is never used?
How much material on a remote mining outpost is no longer usable?
Hundreds of millions, billions, of dollars represent the investment in space probes that no longer work on the surface of the Moon and Mars.
A single drop of an astronaut’s urine has intrinsic value, does it not, its investment in research, development, training, maintenance and nutrition worth more than its weight in gold?
What is a single drop of your blood worth to society?
What is it worth to you?
treetrunkdings 