Can an app read your spoken thoughts and anticipate what you REALLY want?
Tag Archives: humour
A Game of Virtual Martial Arts
In order to reduce head, and thus brain, injuries, the national referee committee for the American sport known as football ruled today that players may no longer run into each other but must engage the opponent using martial art techniques, no blows to the head or groin area allowed; otherwise, kick and punch as much as you want to move forward or stop the movement of the football.
The goal of moving the football over the baseline of the opponents’ “end zone” remains in effect.
All other rules are in the process of being reviewed, pending the outcome of the dispute over islands in the East China Sea, which the NFL was hoping to sponsor one of their playing surfaces for an expansion team in Hawaii (the Senkaku-Diaoyu Field), and a small disturbance in Egypt over the portrayal of Mohammed as a gay misogynist who hated his mother and believed the only good woman was one enslaved by marriage to a bisexual polygamist, which the NFL was going to allow as a mascot for a new team to be announced at the end of the season.
Where D.O.A. meets the French Lieutenant’s Woman at The Hours in a Glass-like film score
My wife wanted a chick flick in exchange for attending the UT Men’s Football game with me this past weekend so we sat in a theatre provided by Regal Entertainment and watched “The Words” this afternoon.
Again, I’m at the age where one storyline blends into another, one soundtrack sounds like a previous one and actors’ role are rehashed or recast in one big blur of motion after years of celluloid clicking by and, now, digital imagery indistinct from analogue dialogues.
Too much cellulose, perhaps?
Is DFW a person’s initials or an airport code?
I can’t remember, was it Franzen or Lehrer who was accused of plagiarism? Or was it faking one’s death? Or joining college students by the millions in cheating on exams? Or creating the unethical marketing campaign for the Nokia Lumia 920 that failed the newspaper test miserably?
What’s the difference between a person wearing a hidden earpiece and receiving instructions/corrections for/to what that person said and a person wearing an augmented reality/enhanced memory unit?
Will we know when our leaders are not quite human?
When will the first Paralympian or injured soldier have a brain prosthesis and carry enough name recognition to become a publicly-elected leader?
“Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce to you your one and only multiheaded committee-within-a-world-leader, Steve Austin IV!!!!” [Cue sound effects from The Six Million Dollar Man]
But first, a recap of the film, Chariots of the Gods…sorry, I mean, Chariots of Fire.
Now, back to your constantly-interrupted search on the Internet for that elusive thought in the back of your thoughts that you thought you’d remember if you just…
A student of history stirring the melting pot
After observing the past, present and future, I have decided, in case it’s my last chance to vote for a white, heterosexual, male, Anglo-Saxon Protestant candidate for U.S. President, to cast my ballot in November for Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan.
I don’t agree with all of their politics but, as a student of history, I see that there’s still a place in international business for the voices of white males having Northern European ancestry who made positive contributions to the idea of a democratic republic with capitalistic tendencies (i.e., the United States) and demand more of the working class than a fallback position on publicly-funded social support programs in tough times.
It is also my way of honouring my parents, whom my mother reminded me this weekend have been Republican supporters since the days of Dwight Eisenhower.
The best way to reform a group is from within, less so from the position of the fringe groups or political parties I’ve supported in the past.
A corporation is not a citizen but a citizen doesn’t always know what’s right for competitive business practices, either.
There is a thin line between predation and competition to define more clearly.
As the world absorbs and reflects the principles espoused by dead white male European philosophers regarding capitalism and communism, I will support positions of whomever is popularly elected as long as those leaders understand the basic premise that a set of states of energy which has found a way to build stronger bonds with states of energy around it will also stumble upon a method to recreate a version of itself which competes against other sets for building stronger bonds, regardless of one’s preferred set of anthropomorphic origin stories.
My slogan: “Business. Science. Competition.”
I am competing against a version of me 1000 years from now that doesn’t care about characterisations or labels like white, heterosexual, male, Anglo-Saxon Protestant candidate for U.S. President.
By voting for Romney, I realise I support the concern that establishing a stable population dependent on government support is anathema to the future where I need cooperative competition in the marketplace for resources to get our species off its collective hindends and heading out into the cosmos.
I cringe to think about a version of myself sitting at home, unemployed, receiving government funds, unconcerned about efficient distribution/competition, and serving as an anchor holding down progress while buying the cheapest, if not the highest-qualty goods available, because of limited income, lack of employable skills/education and/or no motivation.
Our species on this planet has a window of opportunity for active exploration and settlement of other celestial spheres but do we really need a social safety net to maintain and expand that window opening?
What is a social safety net? Governmental organisations like NASA? Department of Defense? Social Security? Medicare? Medicaid? Department of Education? Department of Health and Human Services? Department of Transportation? A government with three separate branches of power — judicial, legislative and executive? How about a bare-minimum government that provides “no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances”?
By voting for Romney, I’ll give the Romney/Ryan Republican Party ticket one more chance to get the balance between the private and government sectors right, preventing U.S. business from creating its own downfall, and protecting it from international versions of financial nuclear bombs without drowning U.S.-based businesses in noncompetitive laws, rules and regulations. If Obama is reelected, I expect the same from his administration working in cooperation with other government public business entities around the globe.
Then, I’ll return to voting for the Nader-type candidates for U.S. President, to keep both major U.S political parties semi/quasi honest (or at least hope to get them to incorporate nonpopulist planks), as impossible as it sounds, because I know that corporations and other nongovernmental organisations for whom we work, or which we hopefully create ourselves, are fueling the engine of our economy now as much as ever, so voting for a national political party to represent my corporal self, no matter the candidate’s racial heritage, is participating in nostalgic belief in the good ol’ days when “we’re the government and we’re here to help” had positive rather than negative connotations, whatever we choose to believe the good ol’ days to have been.
A strong national military defense is certainly a deterrent globally but I’ll take a little more, stronger, defense of my financial nest egg these days, now that I’m closer to retirement age than I am to my first year of earning a decent wage.
All while wishing that our species has better longterm goals than mine — putting Earth-based lifeforms on spacecraft while we still have a locally-stable sector of the galaxy to travel, populate and set up tourist traps.
At the end of the day, do I care about any of what I’m writing here in this blog entry if I am childless, spend most of my day with two aging cats, have no legacy to protect and only philosophical issues to turn into short stories via a habit of blogging daily to entertain myself while staving off the boredom of a 50-year old man who has seen enough of life to know there are fewer surprises to expect and less he wants to put up with?
What motivations do I have left if the only thing to excite me today is the thought of turning on or turning off readers by saying the flavour of ice cream I eat every four years makes more of a superficial difference than a deeply meaningful one to a person who’s tasted all the flavours and concluded they’re pretty much the same, separated by varying patterns on the ice cream cone to break the monotony?
Does it matter if in my thoughts I have a singular vision of what Earth-based lifeforms will look like in 1000 years that makes all of our concerns today seem miniscule by comparison?
Oh well, enough talking to myself here today. Time to roll the rubbish bin back to the house, eat lunch and take a nap.
Quite frankly, on days like today, at 50+ years of age on a beautiful, sunny, warm Monday in a quiet suburban neighbourhood, it is difficult to motivate myself to care about anything more than finding a comfortable place in the house to plop down my body and escape into a dream world uninterrupted by feline companions, one day closer to the end of the set of states of energy known as me, the world of my youth practically gone (or on reruns in TVLand rebroadcast on media streaming devices) and thus me as an adult expansion of my youth-built core almost gone with it, leaving those who care about living to divide up Earth’s resources amongst themselves.
Today, I disappear into the dot at the end of a sentence and that is sufficient to say I was once here as thoughts recreated in electronic bits represented as words in a blog entry formed by pressing fingers on a wireless keyboard communicating with a desktop computer attached to an ADSL line talking to a DSLAM connected to the Internet (which itself is a network of routers, servers, and switches, wires/fibers passing/storing energy states we label 0 or 1, also known as bits – the circles, cycles and spirals never stop, do they?).
Zzzzzz…time to talk to myself in my sleep.
Vagrant birds and fast food relationships
Are your local libraries plagued by vagrant, troublemaking, homeless birds panhandling for food?:
Have you become such a fan of fast food joints that you look for a partner who will make your last name almost famous [read: Kimberly Burgner-King]?:
They had planned to hold their wedding reception at McDonald’s but, thanks to the kind folks at Burger King, everyone is invited for three hours of all-you-can-eat burgners and frnies on 11th Oct. 2012 at a Burger King of Kimberly’s choosing, served by Elvnis Preslney, of course.
The joys of a sporting fan’s life
Two teams, two wins: Univ. of TN football, Jeff Gordon’s crew.
Enough said.
Well, almost…how about the fantastic careers of Pat Head Summitt and Bill Curry, everyday, hardworking heroes?
A nod to Madison at Barley’s, ushers at UT stadium, bus drivers, and football/race fans who support their teams through thick and thin skinned moments.
Sleep well!
In desperate times…
In a last-ditch effort to save his reelection chances, Obama announced today that the U.S. government was declaring a total amnesty on all college student loans, effectively cancelling them immediately in exchange for those with student loans to perform a minimum of two years of voluntary service for the U.S. government hand-building bridges, roads and other infrastructure in order to make way for the mandatory massive reeducation of all unemployed U.S. citizens.
Hillary Clinton said it was the best deal she could get for the American people to save this country by keeping large-scale manufacturing in Chinese hands and, at the same time, honour one of China’s leaders, Mao, by forcing the American people into the 21st century using tactics similar to Mao’s Great Leap Forward and the Cultural Revolution.
Those who refuse the education will be sent to Chinese factories to endure real hardships while traveling in real hard ships over a rough Pacific Ocean.
Long live the Revolution! Calloused hands are the sign of weak, backward workers! REEDUCATE!
More as it develops!
Two data points
Would you believe that Vladimir Putin is a big fan of the actor, Jeff Daniels?
Yes, it is true. Putin admits privately that his latest stunt, flying with cranes, was inspired by a film starring Jeff Daniels, Fly Away Home.
Men quit jobs due to Internet addiction but deny they’re asexual, claim it’s just a cat infection problem — news at 12, 1, 4, 5, 5:30, 6, 6:30, 8, 9, 9:30, 10, 10:30, 11, 11:30, 12…as soon as Tom Brokaw wakes up from his sleeping pill addiction, that is.
Wake us up after the ECB finishes its latest fruitless fishing expedition — you won’t find many appetising meals in the EU economy.
13,755 Days to Go
In the warm evenings of the year, I sleep on a sofa in the sunroom, often woken up by my wife on her way to work.
This morning, after my wife left, I heard the pitter-patter of tiny feet and opened my eyes to see a squirrel licking up the dew on top of one of the skylights.
On the driveway yesterday, a line of ants moved back and forth from one location to another, unencumbered by hungry predators, the ants walking around dry leaves and hickory nuts that fall from trees in this miniseason of early autumn.
The sounds of residential construction hit my ears — hammering, sawing, splintering wood — and I wonder about not just the waste and fraud in the medical business but the waste and redundancy in construction.
As long as it’s cheaper to dump leftover construction material in landfills, we have no incentives to drive innovation in construction methods unless there’s also a profit motive.
How can we increase the profit motive without imposing fees or adding regulatory disincentives?
For instance, what happens to old material — shingles, tiles, sheet metal, nails, underlayment — after a house is reroofed?
Where are the innovators in the reuse/recycle field?
We can easily see the potential energy of water behind a dam but we can’t see the potential energy of material in a house before remodeling?
I look through the lens of my eyes and all I see are sets of states of energy devoid of anthropomorphic qualifications.
What if we all saw life that way, how some states of energy bond more readily than others, rather than superficial qualities that are in meme states only?
Outside the window, the redbud leaf that is full of holes and starting to yellow has a sense of beauty about it but beauty is truly only in the eyes of the beholder. The holes chewed in the leaf indicate a set of states of energy found the leaf material useful for strengthening its bonds, not for any sense of beauty I may assign either one.
Let us not confuse our brain’s excess capacity for making sense of the world around us for more than what it always is — adapting to our environment to improve our chances to reproduce our sets of states of energy.
Some useful websites for today:
Fifty years until the next generation of real innovation?
I’m floating in a thought set of two Thai teas right now so my ability to pull memories out of the nether reaches of the brain is muddled.
What is the difference between idol worshipers and the idolised?
What makes groups of people find true innovation?
Imagine the following conversation…
= = = = =
Today, we have brought together some of the brilliant geniuses of the past (as opposed to the non-brilliant ones, that is) — Tesla, Eastman, Marconi, Edison, Nakamatsu, Einstein, Khayyám, Curie — in order to find out their thoughts about today’s revolution in technology.
Moderator: “Gentlemen and lady, welcome.”
All: “Thank you.”
Moderator: “During this time of year, technology vendors tell us about their latest offerings in the open market. We’d like your opinions about their engineering achievements.”
Curie: “I am a scientist, not an engineer.”
Einstein: “Me, too.”
Moderator: “No problem. We only want your opinion about the practical applications of research you performed in your lifetimes.”
Curie: “Please proceed, Monsieur.”
Moderator: “Thank you. Over the past few days, we have seen many devices demonstrated by company executives that are meant to simplify…”
Eastman: “Are you saying that executives themselves are simplifying something?”
Moderator: “No. Let me finish and you see what I am trying to say.”
Edison: “As both inventor and company man, I can tell you that simplifying your work for the public is no easy challenge. Why, look at Tesla here. Does anyone remember who he is. I bet Westinghouse would have a thing or two to add if he were he. By the way, where is he?”
Moderator: “Well, we put out a call for him but instead, strangely enough, we received an RSVP from a musical act calling itself AC/DC.”
Edison: “Very interesting. Yet, you also invited me. Were you trying to send a message?”
Marconi: “Who, me?”
Moderator: “No. Please let me continue…”
Curie: “Gentlemen. Let our moderator finish what he had to say.”
Moderator: “Thank you. Anyway, we have a lot of devices to talk about so I’ll get right to it. We have placed on the table in front of you several of the latest products — some of them still in the prototype stage — that we would like you to comment upon. Let’s start with this one, the Motorola Droid Razr Maxx HD. Who would like to comment first?”
Tesla: “Okay, I will bite. What is this interesting toy?”
Moderator: “This is a mobile phone.”
Tesla: “A phone, you say? Where is the receiver?”
Moderator: “Well, that’s the thing, sir. You see, it is the receiver.”
Tesla: “A-ha. I see this is like a tiny television, is it not?”
Moderator: “Yes. Good analogy. You’ll also be glad to know that it uses wireless technology to send and receive radio signals…”
Marconi: “A wireless? Why didn’t you say so? How do you power this device?”
Moderator: “With a battery.”
Edison: “AC or DC current?”
Moderator: “DC.”
Edison: “Very exciting. I can see why Westinghouse chose not to show up. What about this musical act, AC/DC? Did they finally decline the invitation?”
Moderator: “No, they decided to show up by proxy. Here, let me show you. Mr. Marconi, if you will hand me the phone…?”
Marconi: “Certainly.”
Moderator: “I’ll just bring up the music app…”
Eastman: “‘Music app’?”
Moderator: “Oh, sorry. This phone has its own built-in memory…uh, well, not unlike camera film…”
Eastman: “Really?”
Moderator: “No…I mean…well, Ms. Curie, your research into radioactivity, combined with Einstein’s work on relativity, has opened up many engineering and science fields, including work on erasable memory.”
Tesla: “You can erase memories now? Fascinating…”
Moderator: “Well, not human memories, I mean…”
Tesla: “Oh? Well, that’s too bad. Imagine being able to erase ordinary memories from your mind so you could create more room for important research…”
Moderator: “Anyway, let’s get back on schedule. Inside this phone, like most of the devices we’ll review today, are miniaturised computing and memory units, not unlike the analog computers some of you are familiar with. Back to the demo! Here is what the rock band AC/DC sounds like…” [plays “Back in Black” by AC/DC]
Einstein: “Very interesting use of distortion…”
Moderator: “Yes, these are electrified instruments. If you gather closer, you can see the band performing.”
Curie: “Looks like that young man is wearing his pants a little short, n’est pas?”
Einstein: “I am impressed that the men can see what they’re playing with their hair so long.”
Moderator: “Yes, I understand what you mean. Anyway, let’s move on. Here is the next device, the Nokia Lumia 920.”
Tesla: “Why is it sitting on that little hot plate?”
Moderator: “Well, sir, this is exactly the sort of thing I thought you’d appreciate. The ‘hot plate,’ as you call it, is a wireless charger for the battery.”
Tesla: “Wireless electricity?! If I was still alive, I would be sainted for this, wouldn’t I?”
Moderator: “Yes, sir. In fact, there is a movement to do just that.”
Tesla: “All those years in isolation, fearing that no one would understand me in this or any century, let alone on this planet…”
Moderator: “And for you, Mr. Eastman, this phone has a camera.”
Eastman: “What do you mean?”
Moderator: “In fact, there are two cameras, one that faces away from you and one that faces you, which detects your face and will turn off if you stop looking at it.”
Eastman: “Amazing. But this is all it can do?”
Moderator: “We have more product offerings to show you from manufacturers such as LG, HTC, Amazon and Apple…we can get to those later. So far, what do you think about our incredible technical achievements?”
Einstein: “I don’t know. I mean, we had telephones and cameras in my day…”
Tesla: “And I demonstrated wireless radio so long ago…”
Marconi: “No, I did.”
Tesla: “Whatever you choose to believe is up to you…”
Curie: “But what do they do, exactly?”
Moderator: “Madame, these devices — the smartphones and tablets, as we call them — allow scientists and doctors from around the world to gather together in realtime.”
Eastman: “So you have solved the problem of teleportation?”
Edison: “Yes, has the ultimate goal that us scientists, engineers and inventors kept from the public — traveling through space and time — reached fruition?”
Moderator: “Not exactly. Check this out. You can see one another’s faces and hear your voices nearly instantaneously, though.”
Tesla: “And all this takes place wirelessly?”
Moderator: “Yes.”
Tesla: “This is all you have achieved in the decades since I’ve been gone?”
Moderator: “Well, not exactly. We have sent men to the moon…”
Curie: “No women?”
Moderator: “That’s right. But more than one woman has gone into outer space…”
Curie: “…and cured cancer by now, I imagine.”
Moderator: “Not exactly.”
Together: A collective sigh.
Tesla: “So what you’re saying is that the work we’ve done is just being worked and reworked all over again, combining and recombining the hard years of research for which we sacrificed our lives, our reputations, our…”
Einstein: “Precisely my thoughts. I suppose by now someone has absolutely proved or, God forbid, disproved my theories and moved on to more important science?”
Moderator: “Not exactly.”
Einstein: “I see.”
Nakamatsu: “You may think that these are unimportant achievements but I can tell you that the research does not progress as fast as you think it does. Just like in your day, there is so much competition that a lot of redundancy prevents inventors like us from making significant progress.”
Khayyám: “These smartphones, as you call them. What else can they do? The tablets appear to be a magic slate of some kind.”
Moderator: “Yes, sir. Let me show something that you might find interesting, as simple as it seems to us today — the graphing calculator function. You just plug in the formula here…and a graph of the formula, or function, is displayed there.”
Khayyám: “Wonderful, wonderful. It is poetry in motion!”
Tesla: “The more I see these things, the more I ask myself whether you have carried my research to its conclusion. Can you control minds with these smartphones? Is there a universal mind behind them?”
Moderator: “Sort of. Some people call it the web browser-based search engine. Others call it wikipedia, baidu or google.”
Khayyám: “‘Google’? Is that a mathematical term?”
Moderator: “In a way, yes. Some say it is an intentional misspelling of the word ‘googol,’ one followed by 100 zeroes.”
Khayyám: “So the universal mind is truly mathematical? It is just as I thought. I can return to my eternal meditation upon the true meaning of the philosophical poet who dabbles in mathematics.”
Moderator: “Well, that’s about all the time we have. What I’m gathering from you is an intriguing mix of disappointment and satisfaction.”
Tesla: “Yes, your devices are fun to look at. However, where are the brilliant minds of today? Have they not advanced science any further? Are they just building upon our old research?”
Einstein: “I suppose the atomic bomb is a thing of the past by now, given what you’ve shown us, opening up young people across the world to break down barriers of ignorance and connecting together their joy and vigour, ridding the world of unnecessary violence. No, wait, don’t say it!”
Moderator and Einstein in unison: “Not exactly.”
Moderator: “Thanks again for joining us. Since it seems I have not completely impressed you with our ‘all-in-one’ devices, let’s reconvene in…let’s say, oh, another 100 years and see if I can’t knock your socks off, as the saying goes.”
Curie: “Don’t call me until you’ve found a cure for radiation poisoning.”
Tesla: “Don’t bother me until they’ve found more practical applications for my inventions like mind control or creating earthquakes to move mountains.”
Khayyám: “Call me anytime but give me more time to wake up from my meditative sleep, next time.”
Einstein: “Hey, if you don’t have to put me back to sleep right now, I won’t complain.”
Nakamatsu: “Wasn’t the floppy disk a great invention? I thought so. The tiny memory card there is not so different, is it? Let me show you what I think it’ll turn into next…”
Edison: “I want to know one thing. How many iterations will it take until those things are so tiny they’ll fit inside your ear where DC power is the only way to go? Take that, Westinghouse, wherever you are!”
Marconi: “I’m with Tesla on this one, despite our previous differences.”
Tesla: “It’s about time…”
Moderator: “Yes, the concept of time is still something we share in common. Until next time, dear readers!”
treetrunkdings 