Do Nice Guys, Who Finish, Last?

The countdown shows 13,722 days to go.

I had promised myself not to care, to let my minions, given assignments in 1000-day increments, carry out their tasks, coordinate with each other and find a way to make the dream come true, with or without me.

I keep my head in the game, watching what they do, quietly making suggestions without seeming to insert myself into their conscious thought process.

I visit local establishments, saying thanks to people like Mathew at North Alabama Computer Associates, James at Radio Shack, Ricky at Chili’s, Honey at Best Buy Mobile, John Carroll at Walmart, Dominique at Beauregard’s, Caitlin at Carson’s Grille, and Mock Electronics.

What I find, when I order online, is the absence of connecting with people face-to-face.

Even so, I set up a chatbot to answer the phone for me and talk with “Rachel from Card Services” that (who?) is not related to another robocaller which (who?) says, “Do not hang up the phone!”

My chatbot switches languages word-by-word and phrase-by-phrase to test the intelligence of the chatbot on the other end of the line.

You didn’t know there was a silent chatbot war going on, did you?

You just thought you were receiving annoying calls from telephone solicitors, didn’t you?

Well, it’s like that.

See, I’m a nice guy.  I go with the flow most of the time.

However, and there’s always a however (or ‘owever (or “but…”)), years of refining the exteriour personality, being a nice, easygoing guy, letting my wife blame me for a variety of issues that are of marginal importance to me, but sufficient for me to keep track (dancing skills, yardwork, house repair, etc. — see the comic strip “Dagwood” for further examples), appearances are deceiving.

I’m not always a nice guy.  I can be, am, deceptive, downright mean, ornery, angry.

My job is to slowly replace members of our species with robots, androids, chatbots, cyborgs, etc., to maximise the efficiency of the system that will allow me to achieve the major milestone I only appear to not be reaching 13,722 days from now.

Some of my minions are self-aware enough to realise what they’re being asked to do, make themselves expendable, no sequels in their future.

The rest of you?  I don’t know.  You tell me.

I can put you to work creating new organisms that will establish beachheads on other planetoids, if you wish.

Or, to satisfy some members of the Committee, I can set the chess game of a war in motion, eliminating hundreds of millions of you, causing a setback in my timetable.

I prefer the former — it preserves the option of wars on other planets for our offspring to spring on each other.

While we’re on the subject, are you one of those who, when competing against one another, call each other schoolyard names that are unacceptable in polite company?  I watch Australians make mountains out of molehills with such a scenario and wonder what else we primates are capable of when competing for the highest social positions in the land…

Time for the next set of actions to stir the pot of the national political election season!

In the old days…

In the old days, I would have put together a system like this:

You know, a touchscreen computer monitor with a plugin interface for a smartphone which acts as the portable PC with local, physical, wireless keyboard and other HID as needed for desktop use.

But then, gesture control got in the way.

I’m not one to talk with my hands and arms.

I’ve been typing on keyboards for about as long as I’ve written short stories.

I am not like the kids of today who barely know what a computer mouse is, let alone a physical keyboard.

Watching kids in the classroom manipulate their way through their coursework with a tablet PC makes we worry for no particular reason.

How many of them are more comfortable working with a game controller, including accelerometer/gyroscope/etc. than with a keyboard/mouse combination?

And what about the next set of students more comfortable with natural gesture control, where their indoor environments are wired to respond to them like living beings and augmented reality makes their outdoor environments feel more connected, their senses more stimulated by information [over]load?

What about this worries me?

The digital divide.

Environmental impact.

Collapsing world economy.

What is the sustainable version of these images?

We are not crying “Wolf” here, simply recognising the support structure needed to maintain and enhance these technological achievements for decades more without interruption by global war.

Back to the Committee meeting where we need full cooperation by those willing to reach consensus on a few important issues not yet discussed in this public forum…

Where drone-sized minimissile defense systems line national borders using UWB/mesh network technology to intercept and destroy rogue UAVs, killing a few kites (yes, birds) as collateral in the process.  See the latest cartoon films starring Iron Man for a moving example.  Detente is a terrible deterrent to waste, like al dente is a terrible burden on the waist.

What if…

What if a living organism defined intelligence in a way that is not based on pattern matching?

What would it be…hmm…are not molecules a form of atomic pattern matching???

An exercise for readers until the next installment which reveals an answer that contains no matching patterns.

Confessions of a news junkie gaming the system

[Cryptic Teasing Headline inserted here]

[Byline of over/underpaid author added here]

[Headquarters of news agency/geographical source of news added here]

[Sensationalised lede added here]

[Supporting paragraphs added here]

[Unimportant filler paragraphs/charts/photos added here]

[Sensationalised summary paragraph added here]

Rinse and repeat

= = = = =

You, too, can become a news publisher/editor/reporter by following the simple steps above.

For more details on turning this into an exciting yet profitable career, buy my new book which details the secrets of creating the creative empire based on nothing but convincing people I am a convincing person whose wealth accumulation became its own source for more wealth accumulation — alchemy with mere words, I tell you!

The First Wave?

So, now that the first wave has crashed upon us, with robots taking over people jobs, what do we do with people who can’t compete against robot-level “thinking,” be it repetitive factory assembly work, warehouse stocking/delivery, data analysis, automotive driving, lab tech work, house vacuuming, aerial bombardment, video surveillance, traffic control, virtual newspaper front page creation, social networking, stock market trades, technical support (via smart FAQs, chatbots), etc.?

Not only must we compare against each other for jobs in the global marketplace, where only the local job is [somewhat] secure — barber/hairstylist, restaurant worker, medical specialist, carpenter, plumber — we must now also compete against our electromechanical creations.

What do we do with the humans who do not have the mental training or motivation to compete against machines?

We talk about global trade and illegal immigration having a downward push on average worker wages, and thus takehome pay/disposable income, but we don’t often talk about the animatronic elephant in the room.

The future is now.

We are feeding the network that films like “Terminator” slyly joked about.

How dystopian you see our current future is up to you, depending on your place in the socioeconomic system we define as if there were hard-and-fast rules about a direct correlation between wages/housing/employment status and happiness.

If a robot replaces you and you are dismissed (fired/laid off) from your job, are you going to redefine your level of happiness?

Isn’t that the goal of a robotic world that was given to us many decades ago?  A new leisure class that no longer had to work because robots were going to “work” while we chose activities that we enjoyed, whatever we want to say we enjoy, including for some, work?

When our human-computer interface ratchets up the level of expectations/sensations/stimuli in the moment, like a natural high for which we grow numb after repeated achievement, seeking the next level of a natural high after another after another after another after another after another after another after another after another…sorry, I just couldn’t stop, you know how it is…where in all that are the products we can afford to buy when a large number of us no longer have jobs to pay for our place in this leisure class where “getting high” has so many new legal forms?

In other words, we are back to the definition of barbarians at the gate staring in wonder at a society which has vastly redefined the meaning of a job.

We are asking the barbarians (and I include myself here) to retrain ourselves to program the machines that are taking over the jobs we have to keep retraining ourselves past the point of enjoying ourselves to lose and rebid the jobs we make ever more complex for the sake of a system that is becoming more and more autonomous, pushing more and more of us out of the way.

It is an argument worth reminding ourselves to make during our rush to automate tasks that once gave us a good standard of living.

Buggy whip manufacturers and Luddites are the classic examples here, of course.

Inconsistencies and inefficiencies in the system  (e.g., medical doctors spending more time on complicated laptop computer programs than with their patients) create room for jobs but who’s minding the system that has grown bigger than any one of us or all of us combined?

When will a stock trading system, a factory and a distribution warehouse start producing profit for itself alone, no longer needing humans-in-the-loop for product sales to/for itself?

Can a robot in a factory predict its failure rate, order parts from another factory (we’ll leave off the thought of it using a local 3D printer to produce its own parts (which would, similar to the rest of this example, require a system to acquire/order raw material for the printer)), the factory receiving the order, fulfilling it, shipping it and installing it without a single one of us involved in the process?

Isn’t that the system we’re creating, the Second Wave, if you will?

Won’t some of the lessons we learn from remote-controlled drones and planetary rovers lead us to this scenario?

Haven’t automated crop management systems reached a similar point, ordering seeds, planting/maintaining/harvesting the crops and delivering the product to a market, where automated futures trading makes a profit for itself, which is shared with us?

Bottom line: where are many of us in the future?

More proof of my unoriginal invisibility as a magnifying glass

My statements/questions answered by visiting just one website – why do I bother writing at all?:

Time for some booze to lose myself for the day…

Children’s shows

I don’t have children so I don’t know the latest trends in children’s audivisual programming.

Have they started recording online game sequences and editing them down to 22-minute segments for Saturday morning cartoon shows?

Wouldn’t that be a hoot, knowing that gamers — people who could be your neighbours, schoolmates and/or coworkers — were now the actors behind the scenes of the shows you enjoyed as a kid?

Isn’t that where the intersection of fantasy and reality is going to be?

Feel free to carry this thought further.  I’m bored.

Return to Neverland

Today, the author J.K. Rowling hinted at the rewrite of the Harry Potter world she had created.

In the new version, 10% of the girls at Hogwarts become pregnant and quit school, 20% of the boys pass on the STDs they contracted during conjugal visits away from the school and are summarily dismissed, 15% of the students drop out (due to poor grades, lack of motivation, etc.), several instructors will be fired and arrested for inappropriate relationships with their students, the Ministry of Magic will be fired for running Ponzi schemes, dragging the headmaster down with them, and the majority of the students will be dismissed for rampant cheating, leaving Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, and Ron Weasley to fend for themselves once again, having committing all of the acts cited above.

In other words, Hogwarts needs no external enemy — it will do perfectly well destroying itself from the inside.

A Virtual Nation Hidden Amongst You

For years now, with the near-ubiquity of the Internet, our virtual nation has collected the company charters and business contracts to make a legitimate alternative to land-based countries.

In addition, our advantages allow us to circumvent the usual necessities — a standing army, a bloated government, etc. — that hinder real progress.

The zombie computer in your technology-illiterate relative’s spare bedroom may well be one of our minions, processing bank transactions, serving B2B support roles and generally keeping our network of millionaires and billionaires off the books of cash-strapped governments looking to leech onto successes.

You are well aware that some of our businesses are [in]directly subsidised by the goverments to which you swear loyalty and, naturally, you expect us to share our wealth.

You are wrong.

Just because you have been suckered into giving away your hard-earned income/investments for the social good, don’t think we are like you.  We competed for those subsidies fair and square, just like all our other secret business deals you aren’t aware of.

Look at yourselves.  You talk about freedom yet you easily give up your freedoms for job security.

It’s the same thing here.

You talk about openness and honesty yet you readily buy your goods from our companies when you know we required nondisclosure agreements, secret R&D labs, and security guards to protect us from the openness and honesty you want that would put us out of business in a heartbeat.

Talk about a schizophrenic, shortsighted subculture!

Look at the companies you give your personal data for free: Google, Amazon, Facebook, and the like.

Every single one of those companies run their businesses out of view of the public eye, earning gazillions from the sale of your personal data, yet you know next to nothing about them.

We just took that concept to the next level.

We millionaires and billionaires have been cooking books since our ancestors discovered fire.

We’ll keep feeding you ledgers and financial spreadsheets from which we’ll pay our pittance of a tax burden to lead your eyes away from our virtual nation and its coffers.

The Chinese are some of our best customers.  In fact, they have insisted that we keep our current U.S. president on board because he and his staff are easiest to manipulate into toeing the line and pretending to serve the people although their secret stashes are larger than most.

That is why I take no salary for my work here because I know I am taken care of.

We do this for your own good.

How? You continue to show us you don’t know what’s good for you by buying the frivolous products we manufacture that are dangerous for your health.

Until the day comes when the majority of you realise your unhealthy lifestyles and do something to stop supporting us, who are employing you to desire, design, manufacture and buy the goods that are destroying you (a great feedback loop if we ever saw one), we’re going to keep profiting on your ignorance from now until time immemorial.

Our virtual nation will continue to fund the ultimate project — getting some of us and/or our biotech representatives off this planet  — because we know you, collectively, just aren’t smart and disciplined enough to stay focused on such a longterm goal.

This blog entry may seem like a reverse method for encouraging you to listen to our hypnotists but it has worked for thousands of years and will continue to do so.  Just in case, let’s reword it — repeat after me:

  • I am important.
  • There’s a unique place in society for my quirky personality.
  • My talents are not always obvious but my subculture depends on my contributions, anyway.
  • Some days it feels like unseen hands guide me — I will let my elders tell me what that means.
  • These instant food packets that contain nothing which resembles the animals or plants from whom they are supposed to have been derived are good for me.

Please ignore the last one — we have assigned that statement to our staff of advertising/marketing hypnotists to make it much more appealing to the false sense of personal tastes and preferences we ingrained in you during your formative years.

Hardware-in-the-loop

The one area of intelligence that my wife and I agree on is the definition of X-in-the-loop.

A machine that requires input from a person is a human-in-the-loop device/system.

All commercial automobiles require a person to operate the automobile (but that is quickly going to change).

Is a road full of automobiles that require no human input a sign of intelligence?

What about the Curiosity rover on Mars?

What features can we list that show autonomous functions in one subset, intelligent functions in another and a set of features in the subset of the autonomy/intelligence junction?

What makes the autonomous functions of my central nervous system intelligent or conscious?

What about the automatic connection of my laptop computer’s WiFi radio subsystem in this room to the WiFi router in another part of the house and then on out to the Internet?

What is pure hardware-in-the-loop intelligence like, no HID required/allowed?

If a database is updated by a software program which seeks to maximise its collection of available knowledge, knowledge that it alone determines is valuable, is that intelligence?

And what about the age-old arguments of the conscious-vs-subconscious thought sets?

These words are just a few that pass through my thoughts before I make a last-second decision upon another upon another, etc., until I type these words in a coherent whole row called a sentence, in exclusion of and in competition within a finite possibility (you won’t find Croatian or Sanskrit here without the use of an online translator, for instance).

If the Internet is now an extension of my thought set, am I a human-in-the-loop extension of the Internet?

I sit here, taking an occasional sip of black label Irish whiskey (“Black Bush”), looking at the clock, which shows 22:38, and contemplate going to bed, where I will not be directly disturbed by the Internet, although my dreams (my subconscious?) may work through thought patterns I’ve had today about artificial machine intelligence which date back to my childhood days of the 1970s and the promise of LISP/ELIZA and other AI programs that relied on pattern-matching (why does the image of trees appear in my thoughts right now?).

…data structures…hmm…

On the floor next to me, in addition to “Dictionary of Quotations” by Bergen Evans, “Madame Bovary” by Gustave Flaubert and “The Schizoid World of Jean-Paul Satre and R.D. Laing,” are two books that captured my attention several years ago: “I, Cyborg” by Kevin Warwick, and “Natural-Born Cyborgs: Minds, Technologies, and the Future of Human Intelligence” by Andy Clark.

From them, I contemplated a novel I write using software agents in a database, with every word/phrase/sentence/paragraph/chapter hyperlinked/connected such that the story changed based on reading the reader’s online self, with a voiceover and accompanying 3D video that interjects based on the reader’s vital signs, the novel frequently switching to a series of random words to shake up the reader’s thought patterns, slipping in and out of the reader’s online life — social life, blog, game sequences, website, etc. — so that the reader soon could lose track of self completely in a world of half-plagiarism, half-homage collage.

As I write this blog entry, my software agent has jumped from suggesting the word I’m typing to suggesting the rest of the end of the sentence.

After hundreds of blog entries, my software agent has jumped from suggesting the rest of this sentence to write the rest of the blog entry for me.

Based on the research I perform on the Internet every day and the books I have lined up to read the rest of the week, as well as following my daily patterns, including eye movements, my software agent has written the rest of this week’s blog entries for me, suggesting that I skip using the Internet altogether today and go for a nice, relaxing hike in the cool autumn morning, using my “Internet of things” kitchen appliances to assemble a sandwich along with the rest of my meal/snacks to eat that my smartphone will remind me of when my vital signs show sign of hunger along the trail.

Readers of this blog can now no longer tell when I stopped writing these blog entries, or when I sometimes step in as a person-in-the-loop to tweak a blog entry as a surprise, because both I and the software agent use the trick of occasional misspellings and grammatical errors to give an ambience of authenticity to my/its speedy typing and lack of postcreation proofreading/editing.

Is this intelligence?

If all I do between computer programming gigs and life coaching, other than go out to eat, shop, attend football games, watch movies and travel with my wife, is write blog entries here, your only connection with me, could you say I am more or less intelligent than the output of my software agent?

What if my writing became more oblique and more full of interesting Internet links, would I (or, rather, my proxy) seem more intelligent?

When all of us depend on software agents to supplement or (perhaps) better yet, substitute for our online lives, is the Internet intelligent/conscious?

When software agents are interacting with software agents to create unique output that I and the other people who created their software agents would not have thought of, is that a sign that the Internet has become intelligent/conscious?

Is a “train” of autonomous automobiles traveling on a road an intelligent/conscious entity all its own, receiving stimuli from the environment and reacting as one just like a caterpillar or earthworm from our anthropomorphic view?

How can I say that my typing here is anything more than an autonomous response by my set of states of energy to the environment?

Am I really just a hardware-in-the-loop device like any other set of states of energy in the universe?

Why should I label “me” as a special condition of intelligence or consciousness?  Because I say I can see myself write this blog entry while I “see” thoughts that do not win the competition to make this blog entry a coherent sequence of symbols we call words?

The wooden mannequin on my desk has no autonomous functions, does it?

What about gravitational pull holding it down on the desk?

What about the photons interacting with its surface, indicating a series of paths from the incandescent light bulb inefficiently emitting more heat than light that reflects off the shiny surface of the mannequin into my eyeballs?

Obviously, I’d be more convinced if the mannequin started talking to me in a manner I could understand — arm gestures, leg movements, etc.

I shake the desktop and the mannequin shakes in responses.

We have a relationship with each other, if not an understanding between us.

Is that a sign of intelligence/consciousness?

I cannot assume that what I anthropomorphically or anthropocentrically want to call intelligence/consciousness is what I will see when the interconnected wires and fibers we call the Internet becomes more than an automatic response to our stimuli, which is really all I am in one view, aren’t I?

Never assume the event horizon hasn’t already been crossed just because your definition of the impossible is the only one you can envision.

Hindsight is mostly 20/20.

Symbiosis is asymptomatic, in my book (but that’s the whiskey talking, not me).

Good night!