[Cryptic Teasing Headline inserted here]
[Byline of over/underpaid author added here]
[Headquarters of news agency/geographical source of news added here]
[Sensationalised lede added here]
[Supporting paragraphs added here]
[Unimportant filler paragraphs/charts/photos added here]
[Sensationalised summary paragraph added here]
Rinse and repeat
= = = = =
You, too, can become a news publisher/editor/reporter by following the simple steps above.
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