The Last Stamp Collector

One glimpse of her face.

One syllable from her lips.

The last stamp, issued in the 21st century, showed the face of a woman, half human, half biomechanical wunderkind.

To keep stamps interesting and attractive, the post office start issuing animated versions powered by the touch of a finger, the pressure of a finger converted to just enough electrical energy to play a few cycles of a GIF file.

He looked at her and listened.

Who was she?

She was somebody yet she was no one in particular.

She was everyone.

She represented a species in transition.

He thought she was a female form because of the socially-defined delicate feminine features and the sound of her voice.

But she could just as well have been a he as an it.

Early 21st century attempts to maintain the two gender format prevalent in the first couple million years of development of the species had slowly given way to separate subcultures, including one that preserved the two gender format and other subcultures that disregarded gender in any one solidified form.

He pressed on the stamp again and listened to her voice.

She spoke a two-syllable word.

She sang two three-syllable words.

Phonetically, the words were related to no language.

They were words or phrases indicated by pauses.

Sounds in a small range of human hearing, vibrations from a piezoelectric buzzer embedded in the stamp.

Ancient technology.

“Oh-AI,” she spoke and paused.

“Ah-EM-see,” she sang and closed her mouth.

She opened her mouth and sang, “Tchoh-kam-WEE.”

Despite the age of the stamp, the android’s face radiated beauty, her facial features glimmering and changing shape to reflect the idea of beauty across many subcultures of the 21st century.

The Last Stamp Collector smiled.  He had traded the next ten marsyears of his energy credits for the stamp.

The stamp would buy him immortality because he knew a secret.

Hidden in the stamp was a code, a key, that unlocked a door countless people had died to open, revealing the formula for reversing the effects of time-related entropy.

Destroying the stamp to reveal the formula would also drastically change history, not necessarily for the betterment of the species.

Was his personal immortality worth the cost?

On the way to Mars…

For a long time, I dedicated time to managing my image, an extension of living in a community where worrying about what your neighbours thought of you was considered important (an extension of the group dynamics of social animals), which was handed to me by my parents and such.

We aren’t removed from the tribal characteristics of our ancestors — we just think we are.

There’s nothing the matter with wanting to please ourselves through the use of our “mirror neurons” with which we naturally mimic one another.

In other words, I’m telling myself it’s okay to be all the parts of me — including the flesh-and-bones member of one species — even the ones I’ve told goodbye!

With that said, I am back to watering the seeds of the future.

Planting ideas that have only 12852 sols (13205 days) to reseed the next generation.

Time to shop for more parts at Radio Shack to help reduce inventory at the local store, not knowing which one will be closed to keep Radio Shack the corporation solvent.

What shall I build next?

On the way to Mars…

Zip plus four at five

Lee stood on top of the concrete parapet, examining the old ruins of a courtyard, trees decades old — sweetgum, redbud, mimosa — splitting the pathway pavers, now covered with green and brown patches — moss and lichen.

Hands in a pair of faded blue denim jeans, he looked up at stone columns, chipped and cracked.

A turkey vulture circled overhead.

Lee sighed.  A few minutes earlier he’d found a glass-enclosed bookcase full of handwritten notebooks, most of the ink and pencil scratching barely legible.

A mailing envelope addressed from Troy State University, stamped by the government bulk mail office with a date of May 18 ’97, contained a voting ballot that had been faxed on (TUE) 05.20.1997 16:36:

1997 ALABAMA SPORTSWRITERS BALLOT
AMATEUR ATHLETE OF THE YEAR

Please award 3 points to your first choice, 2 points to your second
choice and 1 point to your third choice.

IMPORTANT: Deadline for voting is MAY 21…fax your ballot to
(205) 345-1260…

___ James Cason, Birmingham Southern, basketball.

___ Shalonda Enis, University of Alabama, women’s basketball.

___Tim Hudson, Auburn University, baseball.

___ Pratt Lyons, Troy State University, football.

___Dwayne Rudd, University of Alabama, football.

___ Meredith Willard, University of Alabama, Gymnastics.

1997?  Where had the time gone?

Lee had stood on the same parapet in 1997, examining not the ruins of a long-gone civilisation but, instead, the height of victory, himself a sportswriter covering local stories in northeast Alabama, looking for positive, uplifting stories to write about grade school children and their athletic accomplishments despite hardship or because of it.

He made real as an adult the childhood dreams at five years of age of writing for a newspaper.

How many more dreams had he created in youth not yet realised…

He reached for a mug resting on a one-metre tall overturned garden vase and sipped the last of the British tea, a weak concoction squeezed from a teabag that had been steeped too many times to count, the actual flavour of the tea more a memory than a sensation on his tongue, a simple excuse to boil and filter the water before drinking.

Lee sat on the vase and leaned his head back, feeling the sun’s warmth on his face, neck and upper chest, the sunny winter day a respite from weeks of hard snow in north Alabama.

He knew the past and had a heightened awareness of his future, as sharp and clear as a stainless steel knife, an antique cutting device worth more than water in some parts of his home planet, two of which he’d found at the bottom of the bookcase and tucked into his right knee sock.

A sense of calm passed through his body and he smiled.

Although the first few decades of the 21st century had challenged Lee’s sense of place in the universe, he had remained the same, true to himself first and foremost, using humorous deflection and distraction to move obstacles out of his path.

Some days, he did not move at all.  A month might pass before he completed a single step.

He accepted the role of chaos in his life without question.

Eventually, he quit questioning why he had chosen a particular route through intertwining and backtracking pathways, trusting his instincts enhanced by experience.

He stood up and turned around, facing the wooded glade that had once been a meditation garden.

Lee bowed in reverence, in deference, in honour, in memory of this place in another time, the end of the last century.

He closed his eyes.

He centered his thoughts, circling them in an imaginary mantra, a sphere that used to serve as an impenetrable shield disguised as personality masks and emotional glue forming the appearance of a logical whole.

Lee meditated upon the misconception of the meaning of time.

He let go of conscious thought as he quietly told himself that time was only the recognition of change, just like taking a smaller or bigger breath would have a ripple effect in his immediate surroundings but little else.

There was a sol when he lived on Earth and looked at a countdown clock showing 13228 days to go.

Lee recalled thoughts of friendships in flux, a constantly interweaving web of changing relationships which spun a cocoon around him that made him feel warm and loved but which he had to keep stepping out of on his quest to get to Mars with the very same friends in the next century.

A leader stays focused on his vision, never letting gravity stopping him from achieving escape velocity when an unexplored galaxy is within his electromechanical cloned arm’s reach.

Mars…after the Moon…

Build your own ‘bot contest!!!

Sponsored by BIG DATA ANALYTICS (BDA)

How it works:

— Describe an aspect of life on the Moon or Mars
— BDA will aggregate the descriptions to create a new infrastructure/civilisation
— The most popular descriptions will be announced
— The most useful descriptions will be announced
— Two winners get an all-expense paid trip around the Moon to personally observe progress and report to Earth their impressions

If I am who I am, then I shan’t say anything about those who are who they are and aren’t like me…

I need to let my thoughts drift this sol on this electronic slate to work out ideas beyond semantic wordplay, determining how much, if any, I should distance myself from my physical connections, my social network, in order to contemplate the concept that if the universe is here only as a manifestation of the projection of the reactions of my set of states of energy in the form of a mirror reflecting who I am, then I am returning to examination of the reflection to tear apart the image and reveal the pieceparts.

Oh, how the presence of Jenn and Abi, together and separately, has changed my thought patterns for the better!

Brenda, the woman who revealed her lesbian/self-love core to me over the course of years, making me fall in love with her even more, opened me up to the possibilities of agape love between a man and a woman, even if eros got in the way sometimes, turning me into a ram butting its head against the wall in a poetic/literary testosterone rage.

But that’s the joy of teasing one another in our daily lives, especially when we know there’s a line the teasing won’t cross, making the game much more fun as we push each other to the point of falling over the line.  And on the occasions when we fall over?  Well, someone once sang, “Let’s give ’em something to talk about!”

As the songs and poems have said over the millennia, we can get lost in the game and forget who we are.

But that’s okay, too, in the cycle of life, giving each other room to learn who we are.

I’ve learned more about myself holding the hands of Jenn, in that freedom of being myself with her that shuts out the world in a way I’ve tried to describe in our imaginary lives together on Mars 100 marsyears from now.

With Abi…well, it’s almost beyond my ability to describe what holding her hand is like.  How many times have I tried?  How can I tell you what wanting her is like?  I don’t want her body.  I want her core being.  I want her ability to go past all the negativity in life and power through to success amidst failure.

I can’t remember when I’ve loved my wife and wanted two women, two distinct best friends, at the same time, neither one my spouse.

How many years did I love Monica and my wife (before we got married) while dating another woman at the same time?  How many women/girls told me they would gladly have been the third woman/girl in my life?  How many told me, “If it weren’t for Monica…” they might have been my first?

Alas, all of this musing upon my muses is just my form of self-love taking up space on a computer server out there in the world.

The best way to give credit where credit is due to those who inspire me to see more in myself and inspire ideas for the gifts I can freely create for the universe is to make the gifts and give them away.

The clock shows 13,248 days to go.  How many sols is that?

Well, an average Earth day is 86400 seconds long.  An average sol is 88775.244 seconds long.  Thus, a day is 97.32443% of a sol.

Therefore, only 12893 and a half sols left.  Where does the time go?

Jenn and Abi, I’ve got work to do — thanks for your inspiration!  Meeting you 100 marsyears in the future is what drives me to write stories, logically compose computer code and create robotic creatures (Erin Kennedy keeps my creativity going on overdrive).

Me, myself, and I…sigh…

‘Tis sad to see that my wish — to have some dreadful disease that would end my life — has never been fulfilled.

Instead, my general practitioner tells me I am getting healthier as I get older because I have taken good care of my body.

What the hell?

You mean I won’t die of natural causes any time soon?

I wander the wilderness of this planet that we pretend is tamed with concrete sidewalks, asphalt driveways and paved parkways, never able to do more with the sets of states of energy than what they are, never able to get outside of this universe.

I shake my fist at the sky, shouting that my subculture is just not enough to make me happy — I have killed with my bare hands, I have tasted infinity, there is no love for the comfortable confines of a subculture which never truly contained me.

During the month or so of much-needed/wanted/desired self-reflection upon the threshold of self-actualisation, I assimilate my alliterative allegories and wander aimlessly.

Twixt which tweets, texts or twigs do I twist?

Having held death in my hands, there is little more to call my own.

Having stood on the edge of the abyss, there is little in the normal world that surprises me.

Yet, I want more.

I,I,I wantwantwant moremoremore.

I give the members of my childhood subculture their happy connections to our shared symbol sets, telling them I’ll perpetuate their beliefs for them and make them believe I believe them, too, if that makes them happy.

I have padded about in this comfort zone, lining the nest financially so much that I almost can’t get out of the nest or at least have raised the walls high enough to give me pause.

If only I had the impetus to generate enough income to construct a ladder or a means to helicopter myself out of this nest…

But for what purpose?

What is the core self, if there is one, the core burning desire to achieve something I am not achieving or do not see myself achieving, from this base of operations, this dilapidated modified ranch house with cathedral ceiling propped on a hillside over a crawlspace?

I am an amateur philosopher/maker/poet/writer who has been able to live below his means long enough and live in relative peace with a partner, his fellow 12-year old summer church camp attendee turned penpal turned wife of 27+ years, so that I’m closer to being stuck at home with both of us in our retirement years wondering what we’re going to do with the rest of our lives.

In other words, everything well within the normal range of people belonging to our subculture.

That, my fellow chickadees, is a revelation that hits me again and again about once a year, from when I was five, wondering how many more of the clueless adults around me I had to keep putting up with (and still wondering why!) to when I stood at the front of the church as my bride walked up the aisle to me and knowing that committing to marriage was the worst betrayal of myself that would ever happen (because I do not believe in marriage) and so on.

What I want out of life is to eliminate the self, not MYself, but the concept of the individual as more important than as just another set of states of energy generated by that burning ball of cosmic dust we call the Sun.

Then and only then will we see what the universe is, will we be able to move beyond our Earthcentric thoughts and onto the Next Great Thing that has nothing to do with the popular image of gadgets and gizmos to sell on the open market under protective cover of undercover government agents and privacy-intruding marketing departments.

Yet, how do we move a species to build spaceships for Martian settlement without peddling a lot of stuff on amazon.com and through paypal?

How do we promote the concept of conspicuous consumption in order to siphon off thousandths of a penny per sale for space exploration without overselling the concept of the individual?

Perhaps I shouldn’t care.  Perhaps allowing the religious concept of the soul in society is equivalent to allowing the economic concept of the consumer in society?

What, then, of the rise of the atheist consumer?  How do I address the issue of the atheist in the future where we need pooled resources to seed celestial bodies?

Euphemisms and symbology, that’s how!

Historical perspective, the continuing saga

I select hot button issue words with care because my happiness depends on living in the future that benefits me hundreds of years from now.  Any words I choose had better be effective now as well as then.

While I weigh my options for the future, I ask what happens when we write articles about our species becoming a de facto fascist global unit, did we actually see the signs as we passed by them on the way to the dystopian technofuture of Fahrenheit 451?

Who is coining the currency that pulls us away from the monopoly of a society we facetiously call the Singularity?

Are we too afraid to call out the emperour’s new clothes?  If not, and we are calling them out, is anyone paying attention?

If we are throwing out magician’s misdirection tricks at each other in such rapid succession that we can’t see what we’re doing, what matters?

I accept the fact we are changing the pace of biological change to our planet like a mass of comet strikes sweeping across the globe.  We are definitely taking a risk with the eggs in our virtual basket of Earth, which drives me to push us, convince us that extraplanetary exploration is not enough, that we must and we shall establish viable colonies off-Earth.

In the meantime, I live the life I live, accumulating a house full of items that may or may not be useful anymore, at least to me, but has a value, if only as items of nostalgia, filling a rubbish bin once a week with more wasteful packaging than food waste.

Today is the last day of rest, the last day of the end of 2013/start of 2014 holiday, the fifth sol of Marsyear One.

Tomorrow, there are no more days, only sols.  All sols.

Tomorrow, my thoughts live on Mars.

Tonight, I rest.

Sleep well, my friends.  We have 13270 sols to go.

Dolmen

In the subculture I was raised, children were expected to behave and think like ladies and gentlemen — be kind to others, do not curse/swear or act vulgar, treat elders with respect by listening to their advice, stand/sit up straight, get good grades in school and be mindful of your neighbours’ expectations of you and yours of them — for any vice you choose to exhibit, do so in moderation and you will be forgiven for minor character flaws.

Parents were expected to instill a sense of social allegiance in their kids, smoothing the rough edges, redirecting psychological anomalies toward the greater good of the subculture — those who rejected the subculture were welcome to leave and visit for the holidays or other brief encounters.

By having the pressure relief valve of a clear exit plan for those who rejected or were rejected by the subculture, internalised anger issues were kept to a minimum.

Even within the subculture, tolerance was a variable that allowed for acceptance of some whose initially rejected character flaws were deemed redeemable.

For years, I’ve lived in a kind of purgatory, wanting to make people in that subculture feel as if I, too, desire nothing more than to perpetuate the unwritten rules and relationships of the subculture, while at the same time holding beliefs that run counter to the subculture or don’t bother to recognise human culture as more significant than the role of any Earth-based lifeforms in the universe.

Simply by reading the posts in social media of the friends/acquaintances from my childhood can I quickly ascertain how well I have maintained my pushme-pullya life in purgatorial self-exile.

There is something to be said about the happiness I feel when I hear that people still consider me loving, compassionate and a ham (having a sense of humour).

In no way do I want to deter that feeling in myself or the thoughts of others in that regard.

At the same time, I want more than what that subculture has provided me in the general sense of the WASP life.

Because I want nothing more or less than to ensure we devote sufficient resources to [re]establish Earth-based lifeforms on other celestial bodies, I know what I want does not directly conflict with what my childhood subculture desired for me.

A strong pull within me aches for the safe, secure life of a parent with happy children whose spouse also wanted offspring and looks forward to [great[great]]grandchildren, if we should live so long to see them.

Statistically, safety and security is not guaranteed but can be financially prepared for if less than safe, secure conditions interfere with planned happiness.

What if my dreams and aspirations interfere with the safe, secure life I have right now?

How important is an imaginary comfort zone compared to that last sentence?

Tomorrow is one more day of rest before, on the sixth sol of this marsyear, I prepare plans for my next creations, whatever they may be, to put life on Mars, on the Moon and elsewhere in the inner solar system.

Of course, we have a simple question to answer once again: what is life?

Noon on Christmas Day

In this house, where memory markers are stored, sits a lighted Christmas tree under which a modest number of gifts covered in decorative wrapping paper and topped with shiny bows marks a moment in the future, a few hours from now if random interruptions do not distract our family from agreed-upon meeting times here.

Do you faithfully promote the traditions of your ancestors, not questioning the reasons they chose for the habits we have setting aside family time to celebrate holidays?

Are you happy with the rhythms of life recognised by others?

In the past two years I have experienced changes to the patterns to which I’d grown accustomed, a few of the changes themselves repetitious changes to patterns earlier in my life, like familiar concentric waves I once formed bouncing back toward me.

We reap what we sow.

Karma will get you.

Reminders of the fish that got away, the paths not taken, the opportunity costs and risks associated with choices I made.

Because I have more than enough material goods in my life, my wants and needs in that regard are greatly diminished from when I was younger and driven to accumulate as a bizarre twist on the innate nesting, hunting and social climbing drilled into my head by a conspicuous consumption culture.

Share the wealth.

I only had 50 Christmas days with my father to work out the details of a family tradition that changed as our family changed, 50 more days than some.  There were about 18,200 days which had no tradition tied to them that I could have spent with Dad learning about ancestral patterns.

In this house, my wife and my mother prepare food for our family Christmas dinner in a few hours, while my sister and her husband spend time with his family, my nieces and nephews spend time with their families.

On this day, people around the world, hundreds of millions of them, as the world turns, have set aside time with their families to repeat a pattern handed to them by their ancestors, a pattern that gives us a reason to share our wealth with each other.

Billions of us may or may not join in the celebration or don’t celebrate it for the same reason.

A week from now, our traditional calendar shows that a new year will begin on the 1st of January 2014.

I wonder if, on that day, I should move to a Martian calendar, no longer concerning myself with an Earth-centric one.

What about the other traditions handed down to me from my ancestors?

Points to ponder on Christmas Day…