Advice passed on by my father (posthumously)

From the local newspaper, Kingsport, TN Times-News, 31Oct2010. p. 2D:

It’s time for us to think like artists by Shelburne Ferguson

Most of us in Kingsport value the transformation of our downtown from decades of decline and decay to the vibrant revitalization that stretches across ever widening blocks of our center city. The work of hundreds of people has brought about this progress in a variety of ways.

Some residents may view the addition of public art to our city’s streetscapes as mere window dressing. I consider the presence of these expressions of talent as pivotal to leading Kingsport to become the city known for its collective imagination, innovation and creativity.

I will be as bold as to make a prediction. I forecast that our occasional brushing up against this public art along our sidewalks on a daily basis will eventually rub off on us to the end that some of us begin to think like artists.

Have you ever considered how artists think? Have you thought about how important creativity, innovation and imagination (which artists possess in abundance) are to the success of your business enterprises? Consider how important fostering innovation and creativity is in helping the United States stay competitive on the world markets.

I encourage you to consider how artists think. Then learn from the artists’ way of looking at our world. It’s time for all of us to start thinking like artists.

• Artists observe more closely the world around them than do most other people.

• Artists realize that great achievements often follow a long trail of mistakes.

• Artists see what the rest of us don’t see.

• Artists have long attention spans.

• Artists don’t fear taking risks and suffering   possible failures.

• Artists don’t give up easily.

• Artists look for the connections.

• Artists like challenges.

• Artists see what is not there.

• Artists arrange things in unique and fascinating ways.

• Artists don’t mind fantasy.

• Artists like combining things that never shared a canvas before.

• Artists don’t care if others think they’re weird.

• Artists find beauty in things the rest of us once thought were ugly.

• Artists take a chance doing things never done before.

• Artists see competition as a challenge not something to be feared.

• Artists combine old things in new ways.

• Artists see failure as merely an idea or concept that just didn’t work out.

• Artists get accustomed to being balanced precariously on the cutting edge.

• Artists often don’t take the same direction in getting to the same point.

• Artists don’t mind working hard.

• Artists are often colorful people.

• Artists let their work speak for itself.

• Artists don’t mind sharing the spotlight with the Creator and the Created.

• Artists are more analytical than you think.

• Artists have to let out their creative energy or it will dissipate.

• Artists have an irresistible urge to express themselves.

• Artists are usually a step ahead of the rest and are off the road most traveled.

• Artists seek to look over the horizon.

I’m pleased that our city understands how important public art is to developing not only an appreciation for art but an appreciation for what art on the street corner can do to encourage us to start thinking like artists. What are you thinking about today? Visit Broad Street and its environs and be motivated to think like an artist.

Mr. Ferguson is an attorney, businessman, and management consultant in Kingsport (and a friend of my parents). His e-mail address is  shelburne@ferguson-lawoffice.com.

 

Double Sided Sales Slip Customer Copy

A couple of kids protesting in a church on the other side of the planet taught me that if you want to play with fire, be prepared for the consequences.

A musician who’s part of a corporatised musical group playing officially-sanctioned anti-corporate lyrics taught me that hypocrisy knows no cultural bounds.

You see, I’m all about the power of the people.

But keep in mind that my goal is to move the wealth of many thousands of millionaires and billionaires out of reach of the people.

The “people,” of course, is a meaningless term that can be used positively or derogatorily: “We the people…” or “you people,” and its many forms used to provoke crowds in time for [re]election.

The people get used a lot, don’t they/we?

Keep people distracted while we prepare…

Well, I’m not supposed to tell you what’s being prepared, am I, if I am to maintain this storyline?

Let’s imagine a few possible futures:

  1. It’s clear that changing the habits of billions of people to save themselves from themselves is not going to happen when so much profit is at stake, including just good enough profit to feed the mouths of billions of people.  If you had the opportunity, would you set up a location for your friends and family that is safe from invasion by non-heavily armed people and sufficient to provide you a livable subculture/ecosystem while the rest of the world was experiencing major/negative climate change?
  2. You have great wealth at your disposal and you believe that the global economy is your friend so you spend your billions of dollars trying to improve local economies which, in turn, improve the global economy, increasing not only your chance for survival but the whole world’s, too.
  3. You and your friends in private and public businesses have been testing the theory that living off-world is a sure way to hedge your bets about Earth’s climate change and any detrimental effects it may have on your way of life.  You encourage the use of public funds to affirm your theory while you amass the resources you need to build off-world colonies.
  4. Your family has lived in relative poverty for generations.  You have competed against your peers and created a small empire — it’s time to enjoy the fruits of your labour, cost no object in pursuing a life of luxury.
  5. Your family has lived in the peace and comfort of middle-class living for generations — no reason for you to change the course of history.
  6. Poverty means nothing in your subsistence lifestyle.  Words like “blog” and “computer” do not exist in your language full of nature-based terminology.

All of us are familiar with these scenarios, through personal experience, from someone we know or by popular culture references.

In telling the story of our species in relation to the humongous universe in which we barely understand we live, tying these subplots together is interesting some days and boring on other days.

However, it’s all I have to work with here.

Like going from static cartoon strips to creating animated daily cartoons in writing, if not drawing.

Protestors with machetes will most often lose to security guards with guns, who will always, always, always claim self-defense after discharging their weapons and killing protestors.

My question is this: if the commander in-chief claims credit for killing a notorious villain, does he also take credit for the most number of military suicides of any commander in-chief during his time in office?  If your military has some of the lowest morale on record, then I, in honouring my father’s legacy, have to ask myself why anyone with a military background would vote for you?  Following that train of thought, how many of us benefit from one of the largest peacetime (sorry, I mean “war on terror”) military deployments in history — should we also question re-electing the commander in-chief?  In this case, the Law of Unintended Consequences meets the Law of Diminishing Returns.  What am I missing here?  What am I not telling the reader?  I am not my father so why is there not a viable third candidate for me to elect?

Ahh…the balance of power.  ‘Tis a game that entertains, n’est pas?  Sarkozy and Berlusconi quickly become footnotes in history.  Merkel, like Kohl, is not far behind.  Anyone remember Mikhail Gorbachev or Deng Xiaoping?  Did Greece used to be a country?

It will be no different on the Moon or Mars.  More pioneers, more forgotten history as we scramble to feed, clothe and shelter ourselves from the elements while armchair bystanders question our motives and protest our version of progress that clashes with theirs.

Remember the Golden Rule: S/he with the most power protecting a stash of gold makes the rules.

What not to write

While Nigerians get all burned up over spilt fuel, Syrians kill each other because there aren’t enough regular citizens to say, “Hey, Syria is no longer a country, which means countries don’t exist, which means a lot of people who call themselves politicians are suddenly no longer needed, which means the unemployment rate just shot up…,” and labels are still labels, let’s stop a moment and ask ourselves, “What should writers do when they write” (and they aren’t journalists, film critics, thinktank analysts, students, or others engaged in something besides [non]fictional storytelling)?”

In other words, humour me and make me think, if only mindlessly.

Let’s let consciousness (not a “conscience”) be our guide…

New university study

According to the University for the Study of University Studies**, a compilation of studies on the investigation into the root causes of paedophilia has demonstrated that there is an indirect correlation between those who believe in and practice polygamy* and those who practice paedophilia.

When reached for comment, the academician in charge, who requested anonymity after receiving threats from people around the world who actively practice polygamy, said, “We can either legitimise and institutionalise polygamy, giving full rights and recognition to those who wish to mate with young women as soon as they reach puberty, or we can continue to find adults confessing they were abused as children by closet polygamists.  Either way, it appears to be not so much an individual mental problem, but a natural progression of a species that has refined social interaction into what cultural anthropologists currently call civilisation.”

To validate the study, the academician recommended hypnotising those accused of paedophilia, such as the Penn State assistant football coach, Jerry Sandusky, as well as those who assist in covering up paedophilia activities, such as Catholic priests and others up the Vatican’s chain of command, to reach their subconscious thoughts and see if they secretly believe in polygamy.

The release of this study has sent shockwaves throughout the community of “true believers” of the Mormon faith as well as orthodox Muslims.  Producers for the TV shows, “The Bachelor,” “The Bachelorette,” and “The Jerry Springer Show,” were not surprised.

Salman Rushdie refused to respond to requests for information regarding a book he is reported to have penned about this very subject years ago but never published.

*Note: there is a small, but not insignificant number of those who believe in and practice polyandry.  The same comments about polygamy above also apply to polyandry, according to footnotes in the university study.

**Due to a concern for their safety, the administration, faculty and staff of the online university that produced this study have also asked for their names and the name of the university to be withheld from this news article, pending approval of their acceptance into the Federal Witness Protection Program.

How green is a protest vote?

Even the smallest political party vote can make a difference in your jurisdiction?

Just ask Dr. Stein, who walks in the shadow of Ralph Nader.

In east Tennessee, where I grew up, there’s a strong “We Back Coal” coalition, containing both Democratic and Republican believers, that opposes the energy policies of the current presidential administration, as touched on by the The Economist here.

Alas, ’tis more entertainment news, is it not?

On the street, where shoe sole meets pavement, the soul of politics is not as important as getting along while we compete, setting one high-energy developer/entrepreneur’s idea against another, in order to feed, clothe and entertain ourselves and our families.

Where we place the thoughts we call faith and belief is a personal matter.

How we act on those beliefs is a social matter.

Where the personal and social matters clash is what makes storytellers like me get up in the morning.

Speaking of which, I’m back in charge of the Committee.  The previous leader did not work out, putting personal priorities ahead of the Committee’s.  You need not ask what happened to that person — use your imagination.  You wouldn’t want us to kill you just because you wanted to find out, would you?

Call me the Semi-Retired Wandering Wonderer, the wanderer who wonders without a wand as he is wont to do without warts or wind at his back on a whim where he went when he won, the wunderkind.

The Menace From Beyond The Grave Situation

While we set our supercomputers to analyse processes that heat our CPUs surreptitiously, we give you another list of books added recently to our old-fashioned library of paper-and-ink products:

  • Facts on Aviation For The Future Flyers Of Tennessee, (c) 1944 Tennessee Bureau of Aeronautics, Nashville, Tennessee
  • Submarine! The Story of Undersea Fighters, by Kendall Banning, illustrated by Charles Rosner, (c) 1942 by Artists and Writers Guild, Inc., printed in the United States of America
  • The First Book of Moses called Genesis, translated out of the original Hebrew and with the former translations currently compared and revised, set forth in 1911 and commonly known as the King James version, pocket edition by American Bible Society (instituted in the year 1816), New York
  • Stamp collecting book by Richard Hill, Sunset Trail, Knoxville 18, Tennessee, manufactured by U.S. Government Printing Office
  • History of America, by Carl Russell Fish, Professor of American History, University of Wisconsin, illustrations by Leon D’Emo and Will Crawford, (c) 1925, 1928 by American Book Company, Made in U.S.A., owned by Ralph Eldridge, Knoxville Central High School senior 1932
  • The Kingsport Strike, by Sylvester Petro, (c) January 1967, Arlington House, New Rochelle, NY
  • International Atlas and Gazetteer of the World, containing a new and complete Descriptive Gazetteer of the Principal Countries of the World together with a complete collection of up-to-date Political Maps of the World, Statististical [sic] Tables, Census Figures, Air Line Distances, etc., (c) 1935 by C.S. Hammond & Co., Inc., Map Engravers, Printers and Publishers since 1900

Meanwhile, our staff in the Department of Dastardly Deeds has developed a potential storyline for us to follow:

By experimenting with chemical formulae, scientists have perfected the ideal poison letter.  Soon, they will infiltrate the labs of laser printer cartridge manufacturers, change the ingredients of the cartridge contents and release the newest formula into the homes, factories, offices, Internet cafes, construction trailers and libraries of the world.

Then, when the time is right, they will activate the signal that tells the cartridges to print a special circuit on paper.

The circuit, combined with the special ink that, after being heated and fused to the paper, uses the release of heat as the paper cools to send a strong enough “charge” to a blob of ink in one corner of the paper to achieve a minor goal of the Department of Dastardly Deeds.

The scientists have asked us not to reveal their goal at this time.

We won’t, because we have to figure out if their goal aligns with our major milestones before we decide to increase or eliminate their department budget.

While that’s going on, we’ll let you know that the brain circuit reconfiguration we’re testing on Jesse Jackson, Jr., may work this time.  We have tried similar experiments on other members in the public eye (refrain from referring to our previous work as “lobotomy,” electroshock treatment, drug cocktail service, etc.), in order to keep them in line with our milestones.

Those who haven’t stayed on message have been moved aside (again, refrain from referring to our previous work as  “failing the newspaper test,” “assassination,” “drug overdose,” suicide, not seeking reelection, retiring unexpectedly, etc.).

Managing a planet is distracting, we admit, but, on days when we’re bored, it provides an entertaining respite from looking back at this time period 1000 years in the future while trying to live a fulfilling life 1000 years from now, too.

Not all my heroes were cowboys…

A few weeks ago, while driving back from north Virginia, where my niece, Maggie, officially graduated from secondary school, I took my mother to dinner at the Martha Washington Inn in Abingdon.

We stopped in the quiet town to reminisce about my father’s days there as an extension agent and assistant professor for Virginia Tech.

His office was located at the Inn.

A block or so down the street is Barter Theatre, a venue for the performing arts.

I can remember more than one but less than a dozen times I took a date to see a play or musical at Barter Theatre, driving up from northeast Tennessee to show my female companions a bit of culture common to most cultures (but rarely, agar plate cultures).

As president of the Drama Club in our secondary school (for two years!), I felt it was my duty to support the arts.

The Barter Theatre presented mainly light entertainment such as, if my memory serves me well in this moment, I Do! I Do!, a musical that features the song, “My Cup Runneth Over.”

Right now, I cannot remember the names of the performers.

However, we were taught that more than one famous performer cut their teeth on the stage of Barter Theatre:

Patricia Neal, Ned Beatty and to tie this blog entry to a recent death, Ernest Borgnine.

The world is small.

On television, I watched Ernest Borgnine and his crazy cast of characters turn the U.S. Navy into a farcical front for jokes about bureaucratic nonsense, humour during wartime and the general state of the American sitcom exhibited in “McHale’s Navy.”

We all start somewhere.

If an ugly mug like Borgnine’s can become a nationally-recognized figure, anyone can.

We celebrate beauty in women with “Miss [name your region]” contests all the time.

How often could a woman proudly say she made the Ten Ugliest Faces of Hollywood list?

Borgnine did, along with Karl Malden and many others.

When they did, it made me smile and think, “Well, if they don’t care about their looks, why should I?”

You don’t have to be a cowboy or handsome to be successful.

Persistence is the key.

That, and an outstanding personality.

I have both.

That’s why I’m here, remembering my mother, my father, Barter Theatre and the actor who went from Abingdon to Hollywood decades ago, Ernest Borgnine, who became one of my heroes, both local and national, along the way.

My father was my first hero and will be my last.  Borgnine was one of many important ones in-between.

May we laugh with our last breath or die trying!

A Second Look at Female Suicide

Is it true more American military kill themselves than die in battle or perish in motorbike wrecks?  If so, what is the ratio of military men to women self-sacrificers?

Compared to the civilian population and, more specifically, civilian job categories, how much higher or lower are male military or female military likely to kill themselves than, say, dentists or cops?

Finally, is it because we’ve infested the military population with the same microorganisms that push cat owners into ending their ninth try at a nice life?

Could we look back at those of the female persuasion who left written records and killed themselves, analysing their literary output for clues as to the true cause of their desire for demise?

For instance, take this poem of Sylvia Plath.  Is it just me or is she perhaps using her poetic licence to drive home a point that it was secretly a creature of the feline persuasion that persuaded her to say goodbye to life, to children, to husband, to career?:

The Companionable Ills

by Sylvia Plath

The nose-end that twitches, the old imperfections—
Tolerable now as moles on the face
Put up with until chagrin gives place
To a wry complaisance—

Dug in first as God’s spurs
To start the spirit out of the mud
It stabled in; long-used, became well-loved
Bedfellows of the spirit’s debauch, fond masters.

Leaning against the cushion of pain

Should the interiour of spaceships invoke aesthetic design criteria or functional?

Yesterday, I wanted to take my wife to a nice, quiet, flat lawn to sit and watch a fireworks show to honour the anniversary of the traditional start of the United States of America.

How many of us have sat in meditative silence in “Rocket Park,” a display of rockets, missiles and other gear located in the back lot of the US Space & Rocket Museum in Huntsville, Alabama?

Why not, I thought, grab a couple of cheap lawn chairs, a good book to read and some cash, buy food and drink from street venders and wait for the sizzle-n-boom of pyrotechnic fantasies light up the sky while surrounded by aerodynamic monuments to science?

Me, my wife, and a few hundred people, it turned out.

Rocking to the music of the AMC band (courtesy of the U.S. Army Materiel Command).

I made it about halfway through Craig Ferguson’s “American On Purpose” when threatening thunderstorms dampened the mood (and the book), pushing us indoors until minutes before the Main Event.

All of us have our stories to tell, don’t we?

Earlier in the day, we’d shopped at the Unclaimed Baggage Center, where I dared myself to get back into reading books again, picking up copies of “You Laugh, I’ll Drive” by Jenny Herrick, “Everything Bad Is Good For You” by Steven Johnson, and “A Short History Of Progress” by Ronald Wright.

So, I started my foray back into the writing styles of ghostwriters by reading Jenny’s autobiography and ended with Craig’s.  But, strangely enough, not Jenny Craig’s.  Hmm…

We can weld and program computing devices that explore the outer reaches of the solar system, can’t we?

We can enjoy the explosive nature of gunpowder without anyone getting hurt.

Is there anything we can’t do?

Yesterday, I was sad, the first 4th of July without my father and my mother in-law.

But it’s who/what I have and what I can do that matter most.

Like having chronic back pain for so long you’re consciously unaware of the fact you lean against the pain for support.

 

Looking Back

A reposted blog entry referencing Andy Griffith (from here):

02 February 2009

What’s a groundhog got to do with it?

2 February 2009, 11:32 a.m. – Two nights in a row with no sleep…am I supposed to see my shadow today? At my age, I know my moods, my body ailments, and my set of reactions to the familiar world around me. Once, I would attack the world like Don Quixote, jousting at monsters with relish, exhilarated in the extreme during the thrust and plunged into depression when the dragons of the world defeated me with laughter. The highs and lows have mellowed somewhat with age. I, I, I…it’s not all about me. I have to keep telling myself that, reminding and repeating myself often, because as a selfish person I tend not to care about others. I just said this to myself and heard echoes in my thoughts of repeating even these set of words. The next thing I know I’ll say is, “Yet, because I was raised to worry about what the neighbors think, a selfish person like me still doesn’t exceed a limit of social decency that I wish did not exist.”

I look at the words, phrases, and sentences I’ve written and exasperate myself with my attitude of “good enough” (as in “good enough for government work”), not taking the time to perfect my use of the rules and suggestions of the English language. Thus, I’ll use too many commas or place a word with a similar but not quite precise meaning (e.g., “I see” versus “I comprehend”).

I write for an unknown reader. Well, I write for myself first but myself as a person with a group of colleagues (including some imagined ones, such as other writers who had brains superior in calculation capability than mine but whose inspiration gives me hope for the value of my work), well-read colleagues who may not exist except in my imagination. Colleagues who enjoy reading dictionaries, plant identification books, philosophy, cartoons, economic analysis reports, sports headlines, milk cartons, random blogs, user manuals, billboards, handwritten letters from friends, LP liner notes, fortune cookie slips and literary fiction.

On a flight from one forgotten destination to another a few years ago, I read a book highly recommended to me titled, “Eats, Shoots & Leaves.” The friend who suggested the book to me majored in English in college and had more than a passing interest in the correct use of punctuation, even though her career had moved into computer equipment sales. I suppose our lives crossed paths for a reason (a reason, mind you, not a purpose). I reason that I wanted to major in language studies or literature but my upbringing pointed in the direction of the hard sciences such as chemistry, engineering or computer software design, thus my vocation would always clash with my avocation of reading and writing literature (literature in the form of poetry, short stories, novellas, skits, plays and novels; I hesitate adding the word “essays” to the list because the blogging world has taken over the world of the formal essay, where even a haiku becomes both blog and essay; I might add “graphic novel” one day should my artwork interest hold my attention for longer than a day of drawing). So literature becomes a joke about a panda that serves as a book title which mixes my life and my friend’s life well.

You know the joke, don’t you? A panda walks into a bar, sits on a stool, munches on some peanuts, kills the person sitting next to him with a gun and then calmly walks out of the bar. A patron turns to the bartender and asks, “What was that all about?” The bartender responds, “Don’t you know that’s a panda?” The bartender hands a poorly written children’s alphabet animal book to the patron, who turns to the letter P and reads the definition of panda: “an animal, native to China, that eats, shoots, and leaves.”

Today, literature as solely a written art form almost has no meaning. The Internet has invaded our thoughts and actions so pervasively and persuasively that we’ve become both creator and audience at once. The visual arts, including rap and hip-hop songs, take literature from the static written page into the three-dimensional realm from whence it originated. Our storytelling ancestors sitting in caves would understand us and our need to carry around Internet devices in the form of cell phones and other UMPCs.

Yesterday afternoon, my wife and I watched the movie, “Inkheart,” at a local theater. If you haven’t seen the movie and plan to, then you should stop reading here because I’ll soon discuss spoilers. As in right now. LOL Toward the end of the movie, the character played by Jim Broadbent (one of my favorite actors, by the way), the writer of “Inkheart,” expressed his wish to move out of the regular, lonely world of writing and into the exciting world he created with his writing. I don’t know how the third act of the movie jibed with the “Inkheart” book series on which the movie’s based, but I was happy to see the writer character get his wish granted.

The night before, I slept in a fit of delirium. I tossed and turned, fighting the enemy who has stalked my dreams and wishes like the shadow from “Inkheart.” I suppose all of us have seen such an enemy as mine, who works night and day to drain me of my true desire, waiting for the moment to suck the life blood out of me and turn me into a zombie, with which the shadow can play like pieces on a chess board or marionettes on a puppet stage, reducing me to the role of an automaton working in an office full of fellow robots. In the dreamlike state, I defeated the enemy because I surrounded myself with the love and support of those who believe with me that my creative talent is worth calling myself a writer. Or more than that, really…I’ll take a deep breath here, look around me to make sure no one is looking, feel my heart beat in my throat before I speak and finally say, “I am an author.”

After watching the movie, my wife and I returned home to watch the spectacle known as the Super Bowl. With a superlative like “super,” we can automatically assume the bowl is anything but. However, I have accepted the conditioning of my society to cheer for or against the participants of the main event, grown men running around chasing an inflated bag of sewn pigskin (and if you ever want a humorous view of football, listen to Andy Griffith‘s comedy sketch “What It Was, Was Football,” – even if you’re not a fan of “The Andy Griffith Show,” the skit is funny), whilst with bated breath we gaze at the screen for gleeful exposure to commercial advertising.

As the NFL game progressed, I glanced at the clock, mentally counting down the hours until the countdown ended for the opening of submission of works of fiction for the 2009 Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award at www.createspace.com/abna. When the game ended after 9 p.m. Central, I grabbed another bottle of Yuengling Black & Tan and headed to my study, where I could sit and listen to jazz on old vinyl LP albums and watch the countdown clock on a webpage. Tick. Tock. Or so my brain thought because the silent digital display simply showed the word, “Tonight,” underneath was which a counter of hours, minutes and seconds. My blood pressure leapt when the numbers dropped from 01:00:00 to 00:59:59. Had I made any glaring mistakes in the work of fiction itself, much less the other text I had to submit for the contest, including an excerpt of less than 5,000 words, a pitch statement of less than 300 words, an anecdote, a biography and a description to be used for the novel should the contest judges deem my novel worthy of posting on amazon.com as a semifinalist in March?

Finally, as the hour shrank to ten minutes, I resigned myself to the fact that no matter how well my novel succeeded in capturing the attention of the editor(s) who reviewed first the pitch statement (to reduce the 10,000 entries down to 2,000) to create a reasonable set of good entries and then read my novel excerpt (to drop the entries down to 500, I believe), I had written an opus, though not perfect, which represented me, complete with poor punctuation – with ill-advised comma placement, or omission – and lack of precise word usage.

A groundhog does not determine the next six weeks of weather any more than a randomly selected judge determines the worth of my writing. At 23:11 (11:11 p.m. Central, or 12:11 Eastern time on 2nd February 2009), I clicked the Submit button and received confirmation that my novel submission was completed and accepted for the 2009 ABNA contest.

HAPPY GROUNDHOG’S DAY, EVERYONE!

Posted by TreeTrunkRick at 1:12 PM

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HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY!!!  Thanks to Megan, Pat, Gail, Derek, Andrew, Heather, Roy, Cassandra, Shirley, Stephanie (a/k/a Athens pie)