Arbitrarily aligned symbols is not numerology

Where were you when that thing happened at 12:12:20.12 on 12/12/2012?

In which time zone?

With whom?

A dozen friends’ dozen friends with 2012 strangers?

Will 11/12/13 be lucky or unlucky for you? How about 2013 in general?

What does 3/7/13 have in store for gamblers?

Does 3/10/13 make sense or cents to astrologers? Or should you pay more attention to 10/3/13? 6/7/13? 7/6/13?

Roll a six on 5/2/13 to win it all!

Avoid shooting snake eyes on days that equal 11.

Go for boxcars on days that equal 2.

January 1st is an especially good day for activities that equal 11, however don’t wear the same shoes on both feet or look at a double mirror reflection of yourself.

Walk backwards on 3/1/13 or face your enemy’s victory in spades and shovels in the 13th hour on the 31st.

Ones and threes are pivot points all next year so be ready for many twists and turns.

Give assistance to three people in need and one will return the favour three times over.

Caution will warn you only once for troubles that will plague you three times next year.

Those who circle the planet 13 times in 2013 count as friends only in a clockwise direction where latitudes and longitudes balance each other.

Be kind to animals with 13 toes.

Avoid the stare of a spider with 13 eyes.

On New Year’s Eve, begin the countdown to 2013 at 13 or your family will suffer countless maladies until 2031.

Happiness will fill the lives of people who have 13 close relatives, more so if at least one friend has 13 close relatives with at least two aged in 13-year increments.

Treat your 13-year old children like royalty next year for the way you treat them will come back to you 13-fold for the next 13 generations.

Thirteen-year old triplets of single mothers are a special treat for those who know or meet them next year.

Anyone 26 or 39 years old should think twice or three times about matrimonial bonds in 2013.

Someone with 13 stitches will make noise — listen carefully to the number of syllables spoken — the first, third and thirteenth will tell you your fortune for the next 13 seconds, minutes, hours, days, and years.

Multiply 13 by 13 and someone will die.

Thirteen leaders will fail — the 14th will succeed.

Use the full set of letters in the alphabet to double your wishes.

Make no important decisions at 20:13 all year long.

Your 13th blessing will be your best next year so be thankful for the first 12.

The 13th item in a stack will come as a surprise when you least expect it, but most often when your thoughts have wandered 13 times.

A list with 13 points is a curse.

Your 13th online social connection will reveal a clue about you.

Count to 13 when you want to feel special but never after the 13th meal of the same food in a row.

Thirteen cubed has power over three entities one time.

Ruralites lose a battle, vow to continue warmongering

In sad news for the Ruralites, Urbanskis announced more sales of U.S. territorial goods, services, land and businesses to foreign entities.

Ruralites know that once your farm is sold off, no matter in one fell swoop or in patches, the magical wealth you had in land is gone and your ties to nature cut off, turning you into a semi-robotic member of the Urbanskis, forever dependent on the hard work of others, an abomination rather than a wholly natural independent original member of our land-based species.

Guided Tour Guides on Tour with Guido

“If you would please stand over to one side, we can begin this portion of the tour.

“Thank you.

“Welcome to the U.N. Institute for the Study of the Fulfillment of Prophecies.

“Today, we will watch several bureaucrats in the performance of their daily duties and, if we’re lucky, we’ll attend a coffee break, conference call, extended lunch break, nap time hidden behind closed doors and, for a bonus, a strategy meeting.

“Let’s move on.

“What?  Excuse me.  I have a message coming through my Bluetooth headset.

“Yes.  Uh-huh.  Okay.  Well, if you insist.  Yes, we have time.  No, we don’t have time for that.  Looks like we’ll still be on schedule.   Good.  Fine.  Yes.  Okay.  Uh-huh.  Sure thing! Alright, good day to you, too.

“Well, group, we have a change of plans.  The Executive Committee for the Implementation of Prophecy Fulfillment has convened an emergency meeting and we’re invited to attend.

“Please keep in mind that we are to be quiet at all times.  No video or audio recordings may be made, although you may make notes during the meeting.  We will not have time for questions during the meeting and must leave the executive office suite immediately after the meeting has been completed.

“If you will follow me…”

= = = = =

“Ten days!”

The executives looked from one to another.

“Yes, that’s right!  Less than two weeks!  Does anyone have a budget that reliably tells me how much it’s going to cost?”

The executives looked from one to another.

“No one?”

The executives looked from one to another.

“This is the sorriest bunch of people I’ve ever had the honour to work with.”

The executives looked from one to another.

The Chief Executive of the U.N. Institute for the Study of the Fulfillment of Prophecies, the Department of Prophecy Fulfillment Finance Planning, the Executive Committee for the Implementation of Prophecy Fulfillment shouted even louder.

“TEN DAYS!  You, tell me what we’re planning to do in ten days.”

A junior executive, the youngest member of the committee at 101 years of age, stood up.  “We have decided to release a global network of EMP charges, shutting down all electrical and electronic activity at once.”

“FINE!  What will it cost us?”

“Uh…uh…I’m waiting for a final report.”

“FINAL REPORT!  Do you not have an estimate?  A ballpark figure you can give me?”

“Yes.  One point four four four billion dollars.”

“Great.  And you.  What have you got?”

A mid-level executive, aged 124 years, stood up.  “We have already produced and distributed the time-released virus into major populations around the world, which should erupt fullblown with flu-like symptoms in a few days and large waves of death by ten days’ time.”

“FANTASTIC!  And the cost?”

“I don’t know…”

“You don’t know!”

“No.  Because we worked a back-channel deal to charge the costs to military groups with hidden agendas and top-secret slush funds.”

“EXCELLENT!  That, my fellow executives, is the kind of initiative I expect of you.  What about you?”

A large, ancient creature stood, its head nearly brushing the ceiling, its age undetermined.

“We have large shipments of poison labeled as nutrition additives being sent to food factories this week.  They should be entering the international markets and local food chains within seven to ten days, causing massive death.”

“And the cost?”

“One point four two four billion dollars?”

“What?!”

“Yes, we are under budget.”

“Wonderful news.  That’s just what I’ve been wanting to hear.  And you?”

All the executives turned to face the next accused “person,” which was the first electromechanical cybernetic android given full executive powers.

“By my calculations, we will wipe out not only most of your species but also many ancillary species in the process.  The remaining members of your species we should be able to control with fear and intimidation pogroms.”

“Delightful!  I thank every one of you for bringing to fruition my grand plans that we hid under the auspices of the Mayan calendar apocalypse of the 21st of December 2012.

“Your cooperation in getting zombie apocalypse training snuck into emergency preparedness programs was sheer genius, confusing the masses even further.

“We will meet again tomorrow and you better have the final reports completed by then.  After all, even if the world as our species knows it is coming to an end, I still have bean counters hounding me for budget numbers they can work with and give to their handlers fudging the UN finances so that no one knows exactly what we cost.

“Meeting adjourned.”

= = = = =

“Wasn’t that exciting!  Let’s continue our tour.  Next on the agenda is a visit to the Prophecy Fulfillment Correction Department, where propagandists create scenarios to explain why a prophecy was not fulfilled on a specific date but will happen again very soon, right after the Prophets consult their given deities for explanatory details missed the first time.”

Legal Lasso Wrangling of Lassie’s Lost Legion

In one of its last rulings before being dissolved and absorbed into the World Court, the U.S. Supreme Court decided to legalise paedophilia, sociopathy, and psychopathy as normal forms of human behaviour and thus decriminalised.

The Court also stated that all criminals who have created acts of paedophilia, sociopathy, and psychopathy and were convicted for them must have their criminal records expunged and the convicts released from prison or other forms of restriction upon their freedom to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

Rapists, anarchists, habitual thieves and murderers are now officially recognised as important contributors to a healthy socioeconomic system and must be treated as such.

From now on, anyone claiming to be a victim of a crime must show substantial negative economic impact upon the victim and/or excessive positive economic impact for the alleged perpetrator and have attempted to settle the issue monetarily (or the equivalent in goods and services) before having the right to petition the arbitrators to review cases to be filed 20 years later with the World Court.

Parents, partners, spouses, children and other family/friends who have long been denied a normal relationship with their imprisoned loved ones rejoiced at the announcement from the U.S. Supreme Court, knowing that this ruling would have to be accepted by the World Court as part of the lengthy negotiations to abolish nation-based supreme judicial bodies in favour of Earth’s sole judiciary body, the World Court, which would report to the Judges of  the Inner Solar System Alliance effective immediately.

The stock value of weapon, ammunition and security companies skyrocketed.

So, too, the land value of settlements on the Moon and Mars.

Tickets for rocketship passages to the Moon and Mars are now sold out for the next five years.

In other news, residents of the Former Island Nations submitted their 1,324th petition for the right to establish a homeland of their own on the land of nations unwilling to give up the last remaining rights of their sovereignty before the One-World Government starts operation and abolishes the notions of nations altogether.

The electromechanical ruler of us all, simply known as the Technocrat, approved this news announcement and wishes us a blessed day of making our service to the Technocrat even greater than before, reminding us that the Inner Solar System Alliance is just the beginning of a wonderful relationship between us and the rest of the universe.

Not every college graduate was an A+ student

The event calendar reminds me I’m supposed to give a detailed analysis of the current negotiating points in the resolution of the “fiscal cliff” crisis.

Crisis?

Are you kidding me?

When do politicians get to tell me that they’re lives are more important than mine?

Oh, wait, that’s right — the old argument that the government rarely makes permanent the cuts in taxes it had announced were temporary to begin with.

Property taxes, payroll/income taxes, sales taxes, and on and on.

I’m sophisticated, educated, informed and jaded.

I know what society/civilisation should be and isn’t.

Do you remember the first time that your ancestors lived off the land?

Take that last thought in whatever direction you want to take, assuming whatever your subculture has told you is the proper length of time to consider the lineage you publicly claim as yours.

You can go back to the early days of your belief sets and look forward to now.

In that span of time, what has been accomplished that we clearly say is different than then?

I’ll give you a few minutes to draw your family tree.  Use as much paper and time as you need…

Tick…

Tock…

Tick…

Tock…

Got it?

Good!

Now, let’s proceed.

When was the last time your family had to subsist on the land?

When was the last time your family had to depend on others’ subsistence?

Are you descended from a family of tricksters?

Farmers?

In this global society of excess, how much belongs to you just for being alive?

The air is free to breathe.

The sky is free to view, the rain to drink, the wild grass, trees and animals to eat.

But if you can read this and are reading this, there’s this bit of stuff we call infrastructure, the woven threads of social fabric, the safety net of civilisation that props you up in place to distinguish your sophisticated, educated self from the air, sky, rain, grass, trees and wild animals.

But if you want to live off the land, making your own clothing and shelter, growing/raising/harvesting your own food, property rights unimportant to your wandering lifestyle, then by all means let us not bother you with the concepts of taxes and fees to pay for what we deem are necessary components of our civilised social species.

We shall cordon off areas for purely self-sufficient subcultures and leave them alone to figure out how to live with local insect populations, changing weather conditions and whatever it takes to survive without technologically-advanced modern conveniences.

Otherwise, if you have used and in any way lean upon present-day developments such as dictionaries, mechanised labour-saving devices and transportation networks, then we have to figure out a way to share the costs of our local/global interconnectednessisms.

Is there a fair way to share?

Competition is never fair.  Someone always has more information to make a better decision about the value and costs of a connection.

The seller of a single deer carcass who’s asking an exorbitant price, implying it’s the only deer left, may or may not know there’s another herd out of sight of the potential buyers but the buyers aren’t always sure.

Or one buyer, who may know of a market where the deer is even more valuable because there are buyers with many extra labour/investment credits to spend on the luxury of an expensive deer carcass, becomes a new seller.

And on and on.

The value of a connection is relative, not absolute.

So, too, the fairness.

What is a fair share?

How do I know that the person next to me is paying the right amount for the free use of a public transportation network we agree to share, obeying rules of the road together, mutually ensuring the safety of each other during our travels?

How do I know that the doctor who’s treating me for a rare disease was a top-notch A+ student and is an energetic continuous learner who has a burning desire to treat me as if I was the most important patient to cure?

What if I don’t know but if I knew, it wouldn’t matter?

If you and I knew the rules, obeyed the rules and reaped our rewards for our hard work, is it fair that the rules are changed to make up for the rule breakers or those who didn’t work hard enough or in the right way?

Change is constant and what was right yesterday becomes wrong tomorrow.

The air in a tyre is part of a closed system.

A tear in the tyre wall causes a leak of air into an open system.

No matter how much we keep pumping air into the tyre, the tyre can’t hold the same air pressure as before the tear occurred.

Same for a subculture’s pool of resources.

Inputs and outputs, simple as that.

Politicians from the local, state, national and international level will have us believe that the United States of America must resolve the “fiscal cliff” crisis or we could see a worldwide recession.

Why do I feel convinced these are just hypnotic games of population control?

Two phrases I keep in mind here: “the emperour’s new clothes” and “what’s in it for me?”.

I look around this room in which I type and see all the stuff that exists because of publicly-pooled resources as well as stuff that exists because of excess beyond subsistence farming/hunting.

Pretty much everything.

Almost nothing is directly related to living hand-to-mouth off the land except for the air I breathe and sky I could out of the shuttered window.

Therefore, I must think about this subject from another angle.

How is the threat of recession bad for us (I can think of many examples where going over the fiscal cliff could be personally bad for me but I’m not selfish enough to plead my case here)?

Eventual anarchy?

Income inequality off the charts?

Exotic, complicated financial instruments too complicated for the many to understand and thus used to greatest advantage for the few who do — derivatives upon derivatives upon derivatives, yes, and on and on, like pricing a deer carcass beyond any value its meat could provide.

Bottom line: no one can convince me that their hot air expended over the dead deer carcass we’ve labeled the fiscal cliff crisis is a threat or great buy other than one people promote to inflate their self-worth.

The U.S. economy is not a tightly-sealed closed system and if it leaks more or less than it did, so what?

If I have less buying power or more expensive access to healthcare, does it matter?

What about restrictions on my free air or free sky or availability of wild grass, trees and animals?

I blame no one for my economic hardships on anyone but myself.

I take personal responsibility for determining if the people with whom I interact and on whom I depend for their college-acquired knowledge/curiosity/wisdom were or need to have been A+ students.

Necessity is the mother of invention.

Hardships create acute awareness of what defines necessity.

Ultimately, only I can say what is necessary to make my life worthwhile.

Let us go over the fiscal cliff and see what happens — guess what, the world keeps spinning, the Sun keeps shining and people still have to figure out how to compete for our global pool of resources while sharing public space and respecting private rights.

In other words, the fiscal cliff is a sleight-of-hand illusion.  Don’t be fooled.  You will figure out how to put food on the table if it’s no longer handed to you from the public trough.

Enuf sed.

“Yellow fever? It’s a disease, Jimmy!”

CHOMP-the-musical-poster

Just when you thought it was safe to enter the theatre, a new sound sensation has hit the stage.

Opening off-off-off Broadway, so far off that no critic dared review this musical for fear of being eating by invading zombies, CHOMP! The Musical is the latest, greatest adventure in the family of the Munchems, a normal father, mother, and children who were caught unawares by the zombie apocalypse while on vacation.

See zombies flying through the air!

See body parts flung into the audience!

Thrill seekers must sit in the first two rows to get splattered with blood and guts.

Don’t miss the finale, when Gallagher himself is eaten, crushed and spread like a smashed watermelon!

Hurry now!  Tickets are limited!  The shows are guaranteed to sell out overnight or the zombies will know who didn’t buy tickets and seek them out for fresh victims when the traveling version hits your town!

= = = = =

Thanks to the following for their clipart:

http://www.illustrationsof.com/73068-royalty-free-zombies-clipart-illustration

http://www.illustrationsof.com/1118524-royalty-free-zombie-clipart-illustration

Ruralites Win A Skirmish!

In what pundits and boffins are describing as a victory for the Ruralites, the clandestine organisation, Journalists Who Abhor Prostituting Themselves for Adverts, released a report that details a secret agreement between the U.S. and Mexican governments.

The report shows that in order to quell gang violence in Mexico and the United States, the two governments agreed to the capture and slaughter of people who’ve entered the U.S. illegally or lost their legal right to stay in the U.S.

The processed carcasses, properly coded by U.S. meat inspectors, will be served to the people of Mexico as a gift from the Mexican government in an effort to show that the government cares more for its citizens than the local drug cartels which operate as if they control the country.

The report further detailed a pilot program that has been on the books for several decades, where “illegal immigrants” captured by former members of the U.S. black ops armed forces along the U.S.-Mexico border as well as within U.S. territory, including territorial waters, U.S. protectorates and over/on/under U.S. soil, were served as food on the platters in Mexican prisons.

No longterm ill effects or unusual medication conditions in the Mexican prisoner or ex-con population have been recorded, according to the report.

However, the report questioned whether the recent obsession with zombie apocalypse scenarios in the U.S. government and U.S. television programmes is a direct tie to subconscious realisations that people are really eating people already.

Both governments have flatly denied any involvement in such a scheme, although the U.S. government did admit a recent upswing in the number of USDA meat inspectors being hired, claiming it was to prevent more disease outbreaks in under-inspected meat plants.

The U.S. government also confirmed that no U.S. Border Patrol agents have been expressly ordered to capture and kill non-U.S. citizens.

The Mexican government would neither confirm nor deny that it was serving the meat of drug cartel family members at official Mexican functions as a means of showing the drug lords they are worthless chattel.

In concert with the announcement of this report, citizen reporters have released videos of Ruralites rounding up large numbers of non-U.S. people living illegally in their communities and turning them over to mercenaries driving large tractor-trailer rigs/lorries with Mexican license plates and fictitious meat company logos.

Short-term vs. Long-term Memory: Competing Against Our Technological Brethren

In the debate about debt restructuring and causes for male social infertility, let alone actual male sperm count decline, we face a longterm dilemma —

The advancement of technology past the ability of our short-term and long-term memory capabilities to keep up.

Do you compete against others?

Of course you do.

You competed with the distractions of the environment around your parent(s)/caregiver(s) for their attention to feed you, did you not?

You competed for the opportunity cost of baby clothes, baby food, toys and housing versus other items the money for your baby stuff could have bought.

You competed against life itself to live, from the very beginning of your existence — one specific sperm finding its way to an egg — at one time, a birth control device such as an spermicidal cream, a viral infection or mix of toxic chemicals in your mother’s womb could have wiped you out easily.

You still compete against the billions of nonsymbiotic cells that live on/in you for their/your existence.

We are sets of states of energy in constant competition.

That never changes.

History has a way of repeating itself.

Civilisations grow technologically, eventually creating an insurmountable gap in the echelons of civilisation complexity, usually between geographical regions, where competition between peoples is competition for the creation and use of better technology/tools.

When a global civilisation forms, there are no longer any barbaric civilisations with more brute force than clever technology to threaten any one highly-civilised population.

Instead, the barbarism grows from within.

Technology becomes a threat, rather than a benefit, to subgroups.

On a side note, hucksters can coerce unsuspecting customers into buying complex products for only so long until the customers start realising they’re giving the shirts off their backs for a set of the emperour’s new clothes?  How do the customers educate themselves enough to know they’re getting ripped off?

Technological automation improves productivity past the ability of basic tool-using skills so that large groups of workers with low skills are no longer needed.

Eventually, the threat of complex technology you can’t grasp, let alone compete against, is like a bully you can’t escape, beating you down at every opportunity to better yourself.

You’re trapped by your memory/cognition skills into a feeling of worthlessness.

The once proud, dominant male in lower/middle class society becomes a shadow.

But low skills are gender-neutral, despite current trends.

Not every woman is seeking more/higher education.

Where along the path of competition from birth does a person start losing touch with society because technology is too complex?

Technology refers to many things, such as language, cultural memes, shirt buttons, hammers, wheels, looms, chainsaws, and computers.

Is there a tipping point where this becomes a vicious, downward spiraling unraveling of our social fabric, regardless of attempts to turn the un[der]employed into entities dependent on the Mother State?

When does technology advance of civilisation become a threat to itself?

How do we determine where technology has failed to keep a person socially engaged?

How do we reconnect the unengaged both emotionally and intellectually?

What if every child was fitted with a device that automatically notified someone when the child’s behaviours and the environment were threats to the child’s long-term future?

What if that someone who was notified was a computer program that slowly nurtured the child into a useful place in a technologically complex civilisation?

When do the rights of a child to be functionally literate in a modern society override the rights of parents to raise their children to be whatever they want them to be — social misfits, creative geniuses or average, middle-of-the-road compliant citizens — the “rights” of the civilisation to grow and nourish unimportant to the parents?

The days go by fast

“It was a battle of epic proportions.”

Thus began the tale of a struggle between stabilising a region’s political entity through social dependency programs and advancing the desire for technological discoveries of a species intent on raising individual achievements to the highest order of idol worship.

Some saw an old hint of the battle of the sexes in the struggle.

For those who continued their work despite funding concerns and the need to attract investors/customers, the payoff was huge.

The fate of the species appeared to be in the hands of a few.

For Guinevere and Kathryn, the story was more personal.

To one, rocket propulsion and guidance systems were key to getting us off the planet with our wealth in tow.

To the other, a rural farm with a passel of horses — a stable lifestyle, so to speak — was key to a balanced future, using publicly-funded local/[inter]national security to protect property rights.

They were also connections in the web, the network of social bonds necessary for an important storyline.

Only 13,665 days remained, 13.665 1000-day segments of a chain linking the old ways on Earth to the new ways of the Inner Solar System Alliance.

The struggle to prevent the dilution of wealth for those setting the cornerstones of the Inner Solar System Alliance was tough.

On one side of the struggle were people labeled as Entitlementists who believed that the excess product of harvest should be spread out evenly amongst everyone, regardless of level of input (or lack thereof) into the process of growing/raising food, providing shelter, making clothes and/or protecting against predators.

On the other side were the Provisionists who believed that they, as primary creators of the harvest, had the perfect right to decide how to distribute (or not spread out) the excess product of harvest to the nonparticipants.

Starving artists and the chattering classes raised a lot of ruckus in order to draw attention to themselves and their need for food, shelter, clothing and protection, regardless of who provided it.

The civilisation had grown old, with many entrenched vested interests carrying on by inertia alone.

The Ruralites and Urbanskis saw all the diversions taking place — the foreign “wars,” the domestic disputes — and maneuvered into position to protect their territory.

The idle rich, who supported a cottage industry of high-end goods/services tinkerers and value-added providers, wanted their status quo to remain, regardless of who “won” the epic battle, the struggle between [sub]cultures for primacy.

The universe did not care — planets kept revolving, stars kept forming/dying and galaxies kept colliding.

In 1000 years’ time, all the comments, arguments and skirmishes faded into obscurity.

All that mattered was how the efforts of a single species were concentrated on getting its eggs out of one basket and deposited into a few other baskets to beat the odds of a single planetary catastrophe.

Everything else equaled silence.

Business.  Science.  Competition.

Toppling Giants

Do you listen to the sounds of [nonhuman] nature around you?

This morning, whilst eating oatmeal outside, I heard the alarm chirps of woodpeckers nearby, accompanied by the buzz of a chainsaw.

I looked around and could not find the source of the woodcutting sound, at first.

Finally, after using my pocket camera as a spyglass, I spotted the treehugging, limbclimbing, chainsaw-wielding giant slayer nextdoor:

Tree-trimmer

I accept that my new nextdoor neighbours are responsible owners of a patch of woods in which a small house, driveway and septic field line sit.

If I was a more responsible homeowner, there wouldn’t be holes in the eaves, bats in the belfry and mice in the crawlspace.

Or is that my head I’m talking about?

Anyway, here’s the word redefinition of the day:

Civilisation — what extra children who are not needed to grow/raise food build to overcome boredom and justify their existence when predators are no longer a balancing threat; deadend offshoots of evolution; entropy states in flux.

My friends in the archaeological business found a scrap of writing that had been stuck on the bottom of the foot of a mummified person who drowned in the Dead Sea.  Apparently, it clarifies the controversy surrounding the alleged age of Methuselah, said to have lived to 969 years of age.

Translation of the scrap of writing indicates that Methuselah actually lived 96 years and 9 months (or moons).

Young Earth proponents have seized on this last bit of data as evidence for a firm foundation in their beliefs that our planet is only thousands of years old.

Meanwhile, treasure seekers have begun a fullscale dredging of the Dead Sea for more fool’s gold in the form of the last civilisation’s toss-offs, trash dumps or other forgotten piles of detritus that antiquity collectors will pay top dollar in order to make connections between previous scraps that are practically senseless but cost too much to say they’re worthless.