More and more lately, I’ve seen people with naturally dark skin get tattoos in the form of skin bleaching, some getting fake tanlines and others covering themselves with various shades of geometric patterns.
I was so excited about the new trend I had it done to me.
One small problem — my skin is already bleached-looking.
I call it the most expensive invisible tattoo ever.
My friends call it the Emperour’s New Clothes syndrome.
When you’re a maverick like me, you do whatever it takes to get noticed, going invisible included.
Saw a new trend — restaurant/grocery store workers wearing hair nets with fun fashion patterns…
While the plumbers were excavating the septic tank in the front yard, they heard a commotion and got my attention.
They lifted the lid and there before us, a whole family of sock puppets were living inside, explaining years and years of single socks disappearing from the clothes washing machine.
An argyle sock.
Several athletic socks — knee-length, ankle-length and arch support.
Twenty-six years of my dress socks forming the extended family members.
A few of my wife’s decorative leggings were used by the sock puppets as a bed.
Two pairs of tights covered the bed to keep condensation from dripping down on the comfy puppets.
Another mystery solved!
Designers at the Milan Fashion Week runway shows begged customers to buy their clothes in an effort to support anorexia — the Anorexia Automaton Army is about to take over the world with your help:
It’s probably the same reason our antiquated telecom system means that as more and more Americans seek citizenship abroad, we had better start to speak Chinese if we’re going to understand what the majority of Internet citizens are gossiping to each other in their costly relief of boredom.
Your bonus for the day: Parents, make time in your busy lives for your kids’ education.
And one for the road (to the nonvegans out there): Animal protein for the lean, mean machine in you…