Closing off subplots

Palatia rode the bus to work that morning.

She walked up to the back door and rang the bell.

A security guard answered.  “Palatia G. Spaut?”

“Yes?”

“Follow me.”

Palatia walked with the guard to the manager’s office.

“Palatia!  You made it in this morning, I see.  Feeling better already?”

Palatia nodded at Veruog, her shift manager.  “Yes.  Thanks for asking.”

Veruog waved off the security guard and pointed at the chair next to the manager’s desk, with about all the room left on the office floor taken up by a tiny desk.

Palatia sat on the edge of the seat and looked up at Veruog.

“Palatia, first of all, I want to say you have been a good employee.  Don’t say we haven’t noticed that you can handle the cash register and the food line with little supervision.”

“Thank you.”

“But…but yesterday, you called in sick.”

“Yes, I wasn’t feeling well.”

“Anything in particular?”

“Ohh…you know, aches and pains.”

“I see.  And you spent the day at home in bed?”

“Pretty much…”

“Pretty much?  What if I was to say that we have video evidence that you not only left your flat but you also went to a local park with friends, not returning until later in the afternoon, perfectly healthy-looking the whole day?”

“How can you say that?”

“Funny you should ask.  You see, we consider you a valuable employee since you haven’t quit in the first six months of working long hours and low pay at a fast food joint.  Therefore, we registered you with a security service that has links to many traffic cams, security systems and other monitoring devices so we can make sure you are out of danger.”

“Out of danger?  You mean you’ve been spying on me?”

“Oh no.  Let’s just say our company has health insurance policies on our best employees and to make sure our policies are well protected, we ensure that your habits outside of work are within the actuarial predictions of your overall value.”

“Huh?  You pay someone to follow me?”

“No.  We…or, rather, the security service uses the latest in face and body motion recognition to monitor your whereabouts and warn us if you are in imminent danger.  From what we received yesterday, it appears you hiked near the edge of a canyon where several hikers died earlier this year and where some campers died of a hantavirus infection last week.”

“What?  Are you kidding me?  You mean you know, or think you know, where I was yesterday?”

“Yes.  After we received the message from the security service, we attempted to contact you at home but got no answer.  We then sent a security guard to your flat and, again, no answer.  We contacted the building supervisor who was worried that one of his tenants had died on his watch, so to speak, raising his insurance premiums.  He gladly opened your flat to reveal you weren’t home, which, we believe, verifies that the person we have in this recording right here…” Veruog pointed at the flat screen mounted on the wall above the desk.  “…indicates, through deductive reasoning, was you.”

“But I…”

“Do you deny that you went hiking yesterday?”

“No.”

“And do you deny this scene we’re watching from satellite imagery which indicates your hiking path reached up to and over the safety barrier of the canyon edge?”

“No, but…”

“Then we have only one conclusion to make here, Palatia.  You have voided the contract you signed when you agreed to work for us…”

“But…”

“…and further, based on the fine print here just above your signature, you are hereby terminated for endangering the efficiency of our company by exposing yourself to nonwork conditions that not only make us liable for training a replacement employee but also liable for health insurance coverage we had not calculated in the actuarial tables generated by your user data, including your social media profiles and the application you submitted to us.  The only exception to this contract would have been if you died and, in that case, we would have collected a tidy sum.  However, since you are still alive…”

“You can’t fire me!  I quit!”

“Ahh, see, that’s where we differ on this issue.  We have already posted the change in your employment status to our social media site which we hope you will be kind enough to reflect by changing your employment status on the various social media sites you frequently use that we agreed to document when you signed the contract.”

“That’s not fair!”

“Again, Palatia, it’s a matter of perspective.  We both have our reputations to manage, including, these days, our online presence.  We have held up our part of the bargain, providing you not only a safe and secure work environment, but also compatible employees, a steady paycheck and a guarantee that you are a stable, if somewhat independent type personality.  Any questions?”

“Yes?  What about my last paycheck?”

“We will issue you your last paycheck as soon as you return the uniforms we provided you.  According to the spreadsheet, you have three uniforms issued in your name.”

“Yeah?  Well, fuck you!”

Veruog pressed a button on the edge of the desk and the security guard immediately stepped into the doorway.

“Yes, ma’am?”

“We have a set of clothes in Palatia’s size.  Here’s the ticket.  Get one of the guys off the line to open the supply cabinet and return with the clothes.  Palatia, I’m sorry, you have given me no choice but to demand that you return the uniform that you are wearing right now.”

Palatia got up to run and noticed that all the order screens in the fast food restaurant changed to an image of her jumping up from the chair in Veruog’s office.

“As you can see, Palatia, it’s up to you whether you want to turn this into a criminal act for the police to investigate.  The security guard has already requested a patrol car to swing by our restaurant as soon as possible.”

Palatia, caught between wanting to maintain a viable employment record and wanting to tell this whole system off, stopped in the doorway.

She wondered if her friends, all of whom depended on shaky job histories, would take her in if she bolted.

Surely, there was more out there than background checks and slave labour jobs like hers.

Palatia quickly stripped off her clothes and ran out the back door.  If Princess Kate and
Prince Harry can make millions with their clothes off, she…well, there was also that stripper named Katrina Darling…she could make herself famous as the first employee who was fired and ran naked from the premises.  How much was 15 seconds of fame worth in this YouTube era of celebrity scandals and embassy burnings?

News headlines the next minute reported a naked bandit who was shot and killed by brave police officers called to the scene of a crime in progress, said an iNews reporter who had pulled up into the carpark and was shooting video of the restaurant sign when a woman, running as fast as she could, flipped a bird at the police, ran straight toward them and screamed something unintelligible.  “The next moment, a manager walked out with a security guard, both of them looking panicked, saying that the dead assailant, named Palatia, had stolen two uniforms from the restaurant and threatened harm to the reputation of the establishment’s owners.  The police clearly had no choice but to protect themselves from this crazed individual!  Here’s my video and I thank you for watching.  You can see my other videos at…”  The instant news stations switched to the next forgettable crime in progress, posting a link to the video at the bottom of the screen.

= = =

While investigating what makes some people vote for one U.S. presidential candidate over another, I came across the book, “What’s the Matter with White People: Why We Long for a Golden Age That Never Was,” by Joan Walsh, referred to me by the website, salon.com, which has provided many a relaxing and entertaining moment of reading in the past.

However, after reading the following 2-star review of the book on amazon.com by Tom Peterson, I’ll have to encourage myself in the future to be open-minded about book suggestions (and, most importantly, subsequent reviews) by websites I review habitually, before I automatically jump to their linked commercial content:

The basic theme of this book is, why do some Whites refuse to fully cooperate with the destruction of their own people and culture? Why won’t they more eagerly promote the genocide of their own children and grandchildren. The policies the author promotes are Anti-White. Open borders, mass immigration, huge transfers of wealth and opportunities from Whites to non-Whites, all of it to the detriment of Whites. Lest someone think genocide is too harsh a term, note that what China is doing to Tibet is rightly called genocide, even though it is largely “non-violent”. Most of the time, genocide does not involve outright killing.

In 1965 the US was roughly 90% White. Today, a minority of children born are White. This is the most rapid demographic change in the history of North America – far more rapid than what followed the arrival of Whites to this continent in 1492. Four hundred years after that date, Amerindians and Whites were still fighting! We now witness a crushing dispossession of Whites in just a few generations. Apparently some Whites are not quite as enthusiastic about the genocide of their people as the elites would like, and this disturbs the author.

The shocking fact is that in 50 years, there will be NO majority White countries anywhere on earth. Yet every Asian country will remain Asian. And every African nation will remain African. It is White countries and only White countries that are being flooded with non-Whites and it is every single White country without exception. None of that is of concern to the author.

Imagine if Africa was undergoing forced assimilation and mass immigration of non-blacks to the point that every single African country would be non-black in a 40 or 50 years. It would rightly be called genocide. Yet this is exactly what is happening to every single White country. This is the central fact of our age, and the one the author willingly ignores in this book

Can I guess who a person like this would vote for in the upcoming U.S. presidential election?  You get three guesses and the first two don’t count!

When your diet calls for a fried yeast donut covered in sugar…

From my wife via email:

Krispy Kreme: Get a free doughtnut or free dozen doughnuts Sept. 19 ‘Talk Like a Pirate Date’

Get a free doughnut if you talk like a pirate at a location.

Get a free dozen donuts if you dress in full pirate attire.

Go here to see the promo.

No purchase required.

How to talk like a pirate:

Ahoy Matey!

Blow me down!

Heave ho

Landlubber

Sea Dog

Thar she blows

Yo Ho Ho

Offer valid Sept. 19 only at participating locations.  Go here to find one in your area and give them a call.

Vagrant birds and fast food relationships

Are your local libraries plagued by vagrant, troublemaking, homeless birds panhandling for food?:

Have you become such a fan of fast food joints that you look for a partner who will make your last name almost famous [read: Kimberly Burgner-King]?:

They had planned to hold their wedding reception at McDonald’s but, thanks to the kind folks at Burger King, everyone is invited for three hours of all-you-can-eat burgners and frnies on 11th Oct. 2012 at a Burger King of Kimberly’s choosing, served by Elvnis Preslney, of course.

Yet Another Workday

She sat down with her friends.  “We are Womyn — hear us roar!!!” she proclaimed to the rushing waters of the river in the bottom of the canyon below them.

They rested for a moment, some taking swigs from their collapsible, BPA-free drinking jugs, some chewing on energy bars and some photographing their friends.

Palatia looked at her mobile phone.  “Does anyone have a recent photo of Ellen?  This ol’ talk show still photo doesn’t do her justice.”

The tinest piece of lint floated out of a space between Palatia’s thumb and her mobile phone.

The lint followed the invisible, random path of static electricity, air currents, solar radiation and macromolecules suspended in the dry air.

None of the day hikers knew what the lint was doing there, let alone why.

The lint had no discernible thought patterns to speak of.

But the lint was the most important link between that moment and a moment hundreds of years later.

Palatia pushed earbuds millimetres from her eardrums, cranked up some retro k.d. lang tune on her mobile phone and stood up.  “Bag your trash!  Pack your gear!  Let’s roll!”

The lint was dragged along with the hikers for a while before a cool breeze from the valley pushed up over the canyon rim and turned the lint in another direction.

History was in the making.

Palatia was a key component of the cogs and wheels of social change on the day she decided to call in sick and skip her shift at the fast food factory labeled “Grab-n-Go Burgers, 24/7.”

The deliverer of a piece of lint.

Lint that carried a genetic message.

A message intended for someone not yet “born,” the culmination of years of research, a being not quite any one species, neither completely organic nor completely electromechanical.

The lint didn’t earn a wage, didn’t pay taxes, didn’t travel roads or depend on national defense to perform its function.

The lint didn’t breathe, it didn’t eat, it didn’t earn an education, it didn’t produce heirs and it didn’t vote.

Yet the lint was more important than all the billions of people who earn a wage, pay taxes, travel roads, depend on national defense to perform their function, breathe, eat, earn an education, produce heirs and vote.

Events millions of years later in a single galaxy were traced to the piece of lint.

The lint, though inanimate, was analysed, idolised and denigrated as if it was once alive.

What if a cloud had obscured the Sun from a group of hikers one day?

What if it had rained?

More than one “if” fills volumes of historic pondering about a piece of lint.

We call them genetic markers.

The lint called itself nothing.

Yet here it is, studied as if it had intent in at least one “if.”

All because a worker in a minimum-wage job decided to tell her shift supervisor “fuck you” and take the day off, absolutely no thought about changing the course of galactic history.

Simple scenario, you ask, too simple?

The truth is plainer than you think it is.

13,779 days to go…

Sigh…do you ever get bored with your species?

The same habits, day after day?

Eat, sleep, etc.?

As a comedic storyteller, I choose to entertain myself here in a common language of our species.

I suppose my thoughts aren’t much different.

For instance, what is hair?  I wandered between two discount hair cutting joints today — Cuts By Us and Great Clips — picking one that had fewer customers in the moment.

I suppose, for all that it matters, I could cut my own hair, not tied to fashion but dressing in common fashions of this time habitually anyway.

Maybe a mullet haircut, clipping the hair I can reach and letting the part I can’t reach grow long and unkempt.

Or a buzzcut, using an electric razor to keep my hair cut flush with my scalp.

Instead, I wander over to one of the three nearest hair/beauty shoppes (the other being Walmart) to reduce my travel time (yes, I drive a mile to get my hair cut, as concerned about caring for the environment as the next average person with a motorised transportation device on four tyres and extra cash to convert to motor fuel, rather than walk).

I am spoiled but not over-spoiled.

The 15-day land/cruise tour with Holland America taught me that much.

I’m not used to people waiting on me 24 hours a day, sleeping nearby and ready to jump up in the middle of the night to care for me.

I’m used to people working in 24-hour convenience stores, half-awake nearby and ready to ring up my middle-of-the-night food purchases without a care for me.

I live in a cabin in the woods, tending my thoughts like tending a garden, watching a whole galaxy swirl around me/you/us on a planet in a spiral arm, enjoying this brief moment of planetary/solar system calm, completely spoiled by the luxury of our surroundings, no matter how bleak they may appear in comparison to other parts of this planet.

We just don’t know how lucky we are, spoiling our environment to increase our relative luxuries.

Should I care?

Should you?

Would it matter if our actions today created detrimental effects 100 years from now when most of us are gone (argon, the gas, still around either way)?

There’s no guarantee I’ll be alive tomorrow, the next day or the next decade.

Should I care about preserving the environment, or should I say, “Hey, eat, drink and be merry!”?

I think I’ll continue to conserve my resources in case I live a few decades longer than this moment.

I have no legacy to protect.

Just a storyline to maintain.

I need space for this virtual pen and paper to write these blog entries.

Sharing time with my wife, family, friends, pets and wild animals/plants around us.

Tomorrow: 13,778 days to go, or so it seems…

Are we alone?

Talking with a friend in south Florida about some of her clients, one of whom she nicknamed “Sybil,” and, for the protection of many I won’t detail here (but suffice it to hear that multiple personality disorder may be more myth than fact, except in rare cases like this one), I wonder what to do next.

My grandparents built a house in North Port, Florida, in 1964.

So did my next-door neighbours (built a house in Big Cove, Alabama, in 1964, that is).

My grandparents and my father are dead.

So, too, one of my next-door neighbours.

My mother considers selling the house in Florida.

The surviving next-door neighbour was convinced by his real estate agent to sell his song for a dance, or less, and he did.

From the death of his spouse to the sale of his house in less than a month.

Makes me question the integrity of the real estate agent (the agency is Keller Williams — more on that later) and/or the sanity of my neighbour.

My mother has been advised not to make major life decisions until six months after her husband is dead.

Someone didn’t tell my neighbour the same thing.

Sure, he wants to be closer to his children and grandchildren.

I know he’ll be lonely without his dear wife.

My wife and I will miss seeing her in her yard, dressed in long-sleeved shirt and long pants during the heat of summer, a beekeeper’s headgear protecting her from sun and insects.

I am winding down from a once-in-a-decade holiday trip with my wife a few months after my father died, after which I spent a week with my mother and sister going through the house in Florida where my grandparents savoured their retirement years year-round and my parents enjoyed their retirement years as snowbirds.

Meanwhile, people have killed each other by the hundreds, if not thousands, thousands of babies have been born, businesses opened/closed and other aspects of our planet’s lifecycle — killing and eating each other to survive — moving along as it always has and always will.

In the meantime (why don’t I say “in the happytime,” instead?), I examine historical documents to prepare myself for a future filled with humour, satire, comedy, tragedy and words.

Last night, I had a dream.

My mother, sister and I sat down at a large table.  Two or three other large tables were spread around the restaurant where people were sitting down in order to get a good view of Dad opening his birthday presents.  Several people walked up and described the special, unique gift they had brought/made and hidden in a back room so my father wouldn’t see when he walked in for the surprise birthday party.

I looked through the gifts, marveling at the personal touches so many people had put into their gifts, feeling a sense of anticipation rise in me at seeing Dad come back and open so he would know how special he was to so many in his life.

Then, the realization of reality crept into my dream world and I woke up shaking, my neck and back muscles tense, my face twitching.

Dang it, I miss Dad!

My subculture wants me to believe Dad is out there somewhere watching over me (i.e., heaven) but I don’t care about some imaginary space that defies gravity.

I want to share time and space here with my father now, talk about the U.S. Navy material I found in his father’s (my grandfather’s) sea chest, ask him what he remembers about growing up during WWII, go fishing one more time, hit golf balls into the park and retrieve them, look at new sports cars and wonder how people can afford them.

But life doesn’t work that way.

We are born, maybe get married, maybe have children, and then we die.

I have lived into that part of the lifecycle that I never wanted to face again after my best friend/girlfriend died when we were 10 years old.

Forty years later, I’m facing the same emotions I couldn’t handle as a preteen, when I dove into my Boy Scout training, schoolwork and marching/concert/jazz band practice to hide the mess of thoughts inside me.

Where do I hide now?

Am I alone as I feel?

Do I even exist?

Does any of this matter?

Today is an imaginary time period created to account for the rotation of Earth on its axis while tilted.

Tomorrow is another such imaginary time period.

I shall let my imagination take me into a world of stories where writers pluck plots and characters, harvesting them at just the right time to entertain themselves (and, perhaps, others later).

Storytelling is my comfort food, a habit I turned to when I was 10 and didn’t have anyone to share the pain of losing my girlfriend with, how I compensated for the fact that the universe is neutral to my existence as a temporary conflux of states of energy.

In the near-term (both time and space), we appear to exist through experimentation from birth that shows an environment of similar groups of states of energy responding to us.

From a great distance, we do not exist — we do not move this planet through our individual actions, although collectively we influence the condition of the planetary environment around us.

Most of us only care about our local conditions, our circle of influence.

But if I don’t care, if I see conditions — past, present and future — that are, practically, independent of the existence of me, what then?

The story continues, with or without me…

A few panorama shots to tie us over until time to talk in more detail…

Click on image for larger view:

Above: view from ATV trail in Dry Creek River Bed near Denali

Above: view of Gold Bottom Creek near Dawson City, Yukon

Above: view of road in Denali National Park

Above: braided river in Denali National Park (note the hikers)

Above: Lake Bennett, launching point for gold prospectors in late 1800s

Above: Meade Glacier as seen from helicopter

Above: Meade Glacier as seen from surface (approx. 1 mile wide)

Above: Cruise ship docked in Skaguay, Alaska

Above: scenic view in Glacier Bay

Above: scenic view in Glacier Bay

Above: scenic view in Glacier Bay

Above: ghost image of my wife created with panoramic software

Above: dockside in Vancouver

Above: funny merged image created by panorama function in software.
Thanks to Trisha the “Techspert” aboard the ms Zuiderdam for pointing out the new functions of Windows Live Photo Gallery, including panorama and crop.

What did this Alaska/Yukon/Canada trip teach me?  If the Canadian dollar continues to remain stronger than the U.S. dollar, I’m writing in Stephen Harper, the Canadian PM, for U.S. president, with Tlingit the official language!!!
Is it just me or has the evil, one-eyed zombie version of Bob Costas taken over hosting the Olympics coverage on the NBC network?

Brennschluss

The speed of satellite-based Internet — in opposition to gravity’s rainbow — means losing a game of chess to Charlie in the Explorations Cafe, not far from Emily and Philip, Tarigan and Ganda…

…or dancing to the sounds of the HALCats.

Thanks to many, including Tika, Hendra, Evelyn, Ann-Marie, Jasmin the barista, Pratansh, Diana F., Andry, Ami, Ruther, I GDE Ryan, Rhia, Siva, Joshua, Tresna, and more when time permits.

Seeing ice calve from a glacier is entertaining, if not enlightening, in the bright light of a late July sun amidst Aussie accents, Indian smiles, Filipino food lovers and sounds of a cruise ship at sea.

Thanks to a few more, such as Red Onion Saloon, Liz and Mark during the Golden Glassblowing glass at Jewell Gardens; Courtney of Temsco.

The writing slips through cold, icy fjords of the Inner Passage not far from Glacier National Park, landslides smearing black streaks on snow fields, bird droppings on railings, bananas and apples in metal baskets accenting staterooms where one relaxes, eating breakfast while history writes itself around you.

Time for a full body massage.

Au revoir, Mt. Cooper, Lamplugh and Margarie glaciers.

Adios.

Auf wiedersehen.