Pinnacle

Another stain appeared on the ceiling, nearer to the point where two sloping surfaces of the cathedral ceiling meet than where the first stain materialised.

Shadowgrass, a name the boy accepted from parents who thought that labels were arbitrary, pulled out a golf ball ranging device and measured the width of the stain from where he was standing 15 feet below.

First, he stood directly beneath one edge of the stain and wrote down the distance.  Holding the device at the same height, he rotated it slightly until he measured the new distance and wrote it down.  Assuming the first measurement was a right angle, he calculated the third leg of a triangle and decided it was close enough to call the width of the stain.

As a quadriplegic, Shadowgrass had developed special skills, exercising his thoughts so that he was able to invent appendages that most humans didn’t need.

Sometimes, he simply found new uses for commonplace items.

He heard a door open and knew his parents were home from their latest sojourn, scouting out a location for a new Martian laboratory, far from the watchful eyes and ears of satellites constantly circumnavigating the planet.

“Guin and Lee, I’m in here!”

Guin followed Shadowgrass’ voice into the Sanctuary Room, a space modeled on old religious structures on Earth.

“Well, whatcha got there?”

Shadowgrass pointed at the ceiling.  “Another stain.”

Guin nodded.  “Probably a leak.  Can you fix it?”

Shadowgrass shook his head.  “The repair bot is out for repair and refurbishment because our 3D printer is not working.”

“I’m sorry, honey, but we’re short on supplies right now.  Only essential lab gear is getting repaired until the next supply ship arrives from the Moon.”

“Mom, why do they still call Earth’s only natural satellite the Moon?”

“I don’t know, dear.  It doesn’t make sense, does it?  Why don’t we call it something else…”

“…like Shadowgrass?”

“Well, sure, why not?  We call Mars Mars and we call Venus Venus.  It makes just as much sense to call the Moon Shadowgrass.”

“Sure, Mom.  It doesn’t have arms or legs, either!”

Guin smiled, turning her head to one side slightly.  “Good point.”

Lee walked into the room.  “Hey, kiddo!  What’s going on?”

Guin and Shadowgrass nodded at the ceiling.

“Hmm…isn’t that an oil coolant supply line that runs through there?”

“Yes, Dad.”

“Can you fix it, son?”

Guin and Shadowgrass shook their heads.

“Oh yeah, the repair bot’s down, isn’t it?”

“Yes, Dad.”

“Well, son, I think this calls for you to assert your ingenuity toward reinventing yourself.”

Shadowgrass closed his eyes and let the active voice in his thoughts go silent.

His parents sat down and waited, knowing that Shadowgrass, their ultimate achievement in reproducing the best traits of themselves, would take Lee’s challenge and come up with a solution that neither one of them could if their put their heads together, let alone if they tried separately.

Shadowgrass accessed the spare computing cycles of the colony’s computer network, every object from a solar tracking memory circuit to the amplifier circuit in a tourist’s hearing implant.

He put himself in the role of the last leak, taking into account the growth rate of both leaks, their locations, the time the first leak started and stopped and the time the second leak started.

He looked at the blueprint plans for their living quarters, estimating the pressure of liquid passing through pipes in their building.

His thoughts worked backward from the leak, determining the shearing force on pipe joints, the corrosive qualities of the oil coolant and the path that leaking oil would follow from weak points in the pipe.

He saw that his body was full of nanobots making spot repairs in the blood vessels and other circulatory tubes.

His parents had given him the ability to reprogram the nanobots in his body as he saw fit.

He opened his eyes and turned to his parents.  “Do you give me permission to pass some of the nanobots from my body into the pipes of our habitat?”

Guin raised her eyebrows.  “Have you…have you thought through the unintended consequences of what you’re about to propose?”

Shadowgrass shook his head.  “Not yet.”

Lee stood up.  “Son, tell you what.  Spend the next hour or so working through case studies where unacceptable error rates cause us extreme discomfort and work your way back to what you’re asking us now.”

“Okay, Dad.  It should only take me a few minutes at most.”

“Fine, son.  When you’re finished, run some regression tests on the regression tests.  I think where you’re going with this will work out but I want you to have a backup plan for when something you haven’t thought of yet will support any changes your nanobots experience when they’re no longer part of your body.  We had not created them for extracorporeal purposes.”

“Sure thing, Dad.”

“And submit a request to rename the Moon Shadowgrass.  I like your mother’s idea.  With all you’ve done to save this colony and us serving as a reserve unit should climate change continue to cause population decreases on Earth, you deserve a moon named after you.”

“Thanks, Dad!”

“No problem, son.  You make us proud.”

Guin hugged Shadowgrass’ neck.  “That’s right, dear.  You have exceeded our wildest dreams for a child of our own.”

Shadowgrass smiled.  “Would you all dance for me?  It makes me feel happy.”

Guin and Lee slipped out of their exploration gear, tumbling up and over Shadowgrass while he finished his calculations for a self-sufficient nanobot repair system servicing the pipes in their home.  If the system worked, he would be able to sell the idea to his neighbours and fund his dream to build an exploration vehicle designed specifically for him, able to join his parents when they ventured far from the colony, risking their lives, living out their motto, “Vive ut vivas.”

20,790 spam messages in queue

The best way to see where unintended circumstances will lead you is to take a cynical approach to your serious disposition.

Then, the future is the moment you’ve been waiting for, planning, biding your time and biting your nails about.

You needn’t worry that nothing will happen.

I was once famous on a local scale.  In junior high school, I actually had a fan club.  Sure, the club members were mostly gay guys and socially awkward girls but there were club buttons and other regalia to celebrate my celebrity status.

In high/secondary school, I was somewhat popular but I didn’t know it.  As the president of the school’s drama club for two straight years, along with appearances on stage as an actor and singer, I attracted a small following that I didn’t even know existed until I got on Facebook a few years ago and a few women my age wanted to start fantasy relationships that I saw had started in their thoughts many, many years ago.

I knew there were some people who looked up to me when I won the four-year U.S. Navy ROTC scholarship to Georgia Tech.

It was as if I had led a charmed life the first 18 years of my existence and didn’t appreciate the relative ease with which I breezed through my public school days until I left the small town and its suburban tracts for the big city.

I look back at all that, two-thirds of my life ago, and understand why I believe I am comfortable dying at any time.

I have always been happy to be alive, accepting whatever comes my way, but at the same time wanting to stay ahead of my ennui, the situational depression that dogs me like a hungry animal scenting my fear and chasing after me.

I see news headlines pop up about one subject or another that concerns populations of people out of eye and earshot and I wonder what’s going on.

Why do religious people fear nonreligious people, for instance, or vice versa?  I am perfectly comfortable in my belief that the universe both was and was not created by a supernatural being (God, in my subculture’s parlance, who miraculously created a son on Earth named Jesus (pronounced “Hey, Zeus!” of course)).  The labels we choose to describe a series of events that took place long before any of us or our ancestors could read or write is whatever we want them to be.  Our behaviour toward each other is still as important whether our origin story is called “God created the heaven and earth” or the “Big Bang.”

It is the noise or clutter that jams the airwaves with whatever people deem important enough to promote themselves and their ideas for a better life.

For others of us, one’s set of beliefs takes a second seat in the second row to hard facts like how gravity is variable across the surface of large celestial bodies but averages out sufficiently so that mathematical equations can be converted to algorithms to guide spacecraft around and land them upon distant planets, moons and other satellites.

We can fill our spare time with noise and clutter — the chattering class’ favourite topics du jour.

However, let us keep our longterm goals clearly, distinctly and loudest in our thoughts and actions.

The Mars mission continues!  Every idea counts, such as Ad Astra.

And entertaining diversions such as Europa Report.

iThink therefore iAm…or am I an Iams cat food customer?

The mad geniuses working in the subterranean laboratory were tired of my barking them orders all the time so they challenged me to come up with something they hadn’t thought of or wouldn’t think of.

At the same time, my wife has been badgering encouraging me to get rid of the old junk in my study.

Two and two make six, if each two made one [baby] but up to 20 if each two included an octomom.

Therefore, I dug through the piles of defunct/archaic electronic equipment and pulled out the following — a tangerine iMac with keyboard and mouse, a Macintosh II with a 14″ Macintosh monitor, keyboard and mouse, and boxes upon bags of floppy disks.

Three-Caballeros

Next on my list of projects-yet-to-be is to convert these items into an interactive front yard art sculpture.

The tangerine iMac will be the head, the Mac II case will be the torso, the 14″ monitor will be the pelvis and the floppy disks will be the scaly skin of the knight in shiny armour jousting at imaginary windmills (or mosquitoes, depending on the season).  The keyboards may be arms and the mouseys may be hands — I don’t know yet.

Somewhere in my garage, I have a motion sensor security light that I will use as an activator to entertain passersby who will see the Simple Simon of a body move about when they pass by.

Running on fumes, running out of steam, punk?

You know steampunk has entered the mainstream when more than two pages of [Simplicity/McCall’s/Butterick] steampunk costume design patterns are available in a Walmart DIY clothing catalog at the fabrics department.