Where Nobody Knows Your Name

It’s going to take a while to redeprogram myself from the influences of not only my youth but also the youth of those who’ve gone on before me.

The time on my upsidedown clock shows BO:I.  Oh boy!  No, I boy (or was one once).

Should I get over the boredom of sitting in front of a computer writing software, compiling, correcting errors, etc., that began in my youth and died a quick death in my early adulthood?

After all, tens of people are sitting in front of a computer designing new skyscrapers, living out the wishes of some dreaming builder (or building dreamer — take your pick).

My obscurity is well-deserved, a writer not panning for gold, just finishing off a few leftover tales from a feast of visions, nightmares and meditative states.

Time for a break!

Hazel Green, Alabama — McCafe

Personal note: my wife attends an event at our niece’s house presumably about clothes or jewelry. Meanwhile, I sit in a McDonald’s restaurant, looking at dead flies on window sills and listening to an old man tell his family, “I am NOT moving back to Alabama. You cannot have my car. These are my keys.” while he charges his cell phone that he hooked up to a power receptacle hidden high above an insect zapper he unplugged.

What is the definition of crazy?

Is it the kid using a metal stake to compress the garbage so he doesn’t have to empty the rubbish bin for a while, his McDonald’s uniform askew, his tie hanging loose?

Is it the woman leaning against the wall outside one of the entrances, smoking a cigarette and chatting on her mobile phone in the afternoon August heat?

What about the people speeding by on the highway?

Or me, drinking an iced coffee after eating a dipcone (soft serve ice cream served in a cake cone and dipped into chocolate)?

What about the way Ballmer ran Microsoft into oblivion? Or the way Bill Gates is trying to make up for years of predatory business practices by attaching his name to the reinvention of the toilet?

I could be making notes about comets or Martian rovers.

I could make a list of people to thank.

Instead, I type on a mobile Bluetooth keyboard for iPad, reinventing myself, reiterating the importance of computer connectedness and listening to a family discuss a boy’s future school performance because his father (grandfather?) has issues about moving back to Alabama to care for his wife (daughter?) and [grand]child.

Nearby, the Tillman D. Hill Public Library.

Closer, a live housefly on the tabletop looking for food.

Across the way, a computer for people to request a job at McDonald’s: “Apply Here / Aplique Aqui — This Employer Participates in E-Verify”.

And I have 45 more minutes to entertain myself until I drive back to my niece’s house to pick up my wife.

These are the salad days, the good ol’ days, the golden years, the midlife crisis years…watching a young family load their kids in the Chevy Silverado truck after having loads of fun in Playland, the father wearing a set of girl’s necklace beads because his little baby is about to fall asleep in his arms, the mother loading the other daughter in the backseat.

We live and then we die.

She drives the truck. He drives the Pontiac Trans Am.

One of their children does not look like it belongs to them but they seem to love each other.

An older couple, he wearing an “Anderson’s Dozer Works” blue work shirt, she using a cane, hobble to their Buick Roadmaster in the handicapped spot.

The days of our lives tucked in between birth and death, not far from the border between Tennessee and Alabama, longtime college football rivals.

What more can we ask for? What more do we want, able to drive and talk on the mobile phone at the same time, arguing in one moment and laughing together in the next?

“I’ll put your face all over facebook, MySpace, Google, the whole Web, if that’ll make you feel better!” The old man laughs and his family joins him. “Of course, I don’t have Internet at home.” They laugh some more. “I’ll sue everybody that makes fun of you who could have seen you if I had Internet at home.” They continue laughing, one of them saying, “Well, you’re on the Internet now. Quick! Send someone an email!” They giggle. He guffaws, “I swear, I’m gonna put it on facebook!” The boy states, “They’re gonna call me names,” and storms off to the bathroom. The man: “I’m gonna pull it up on Yahoo!” The woman snickers. “New email!” he declares as she stands up to look. “See!” She leans over and breaks into a broad grin. “See, I’ve posted pictures of last Thanksgiving. What’s there to make fun of?” The boy returns and rolls his eyes: “That!!! You can’t put those on there!” nodding at me as he leaves the restaurant to get in his Lincoln LS sedan and roll down the windows, playing country music loud enough for me to hear.

They calm down. No more arguments about returning to Alabama. A family makes up in a fast food restaurant, at least for the moment.

The man raises his voice, over the protest of the woman questioning what he’s posting next. “By God I do, NOW!!!” She gets ready to go. “See, you can put all sorts of stuff on facebook. Look what he’s put up there on his own. Birthday party. You’ve got to pay attention to what he puts on there. Maybe you should. Maybe you should. Security issues start with facebook and go from there. Anyone can see where you’re going and where you’ve been. See, here’s stuff from when he was 12. Now everybody can see pictures of everybody. Somebody could come in, slap him across the face and another kid take a picture from across the parking lot, posting it for the world to see. What will they think of that?”

She shakes her head. “They won’t do that. I’ll be back.” She walks out to the Lincoln, lights up a cigarette and drives off with the boy, leaving the man to work on his laptop and talk on the cell phone.

Time for me to leave, a little early to pick up my wife, but well within the range of conversation of an adult man and adult woman having a little fun with a teenage boy about pictures of his offline life in perpetuity on the Internet, while learning from each other what’s important in the boy’s online life.

The Stranglers

Time for this blog to take a diversion.

Faial used the trail of her GPS signal to send a message — today was it.

She spent the rest of her morning following a routine established as a break in a series of messages.

The operator, codenamed Fountain Pen, who gathered information on potential targets received the message and, with the aid of an IT administrator, replaced the message with Faial’s usual GPS signal information for that time of morning on an average workday in a big city.

So much information was gathered that no one was going to pay attention to the change in timestamp for one piece of sand in a world of deserts that the Central Depository represented.

= = = = =

The Committee agreed to send out more decoys and forward scouts to test defense lines of the enemy, an enemy that lived within the walls and secret meeting rooms of the Committee’s inner chambers…as planned.

The enemy was no longer a person, people, place or organisation.

The enemy had long ago become simply information.

Scholars, dilettantes and amateurs argued about the difference between data, knowledge and information, not necessarily in that order.

The Committee didn’t care.  In fact, the name “Committee” was itself simply a placeholder for a network of information gathering and misdisuninformation dispersal.

There were too many people who saw their corporal essence as the end-all, be-all of existence so a group of people were assigned to sit down together both physically and virtually to make a solely symbolic gesture toward the past and call themselves the Committee.

The network didn’t care as long as information fed the network’s need to justify its own existence.

= = = = =

At a reunion concert for a punk band, The Stranglers, a cybernetic organism known as Sir Rah mingled with the crowd.

Sir Rah was a prototype, an amalgamation of electronic and organic parts designed to mimic a drunk/high/stoned party animal whom no one would exactly remember nor question its shortcomings.

Sir Rah’s only duty was to collect skin, sweat, saliva and hormone samples without detection.

The creators of the program that turned a laboratory robot into Sir Rah had originally named their project, fatalistically, Que Sera Sera.

= = = = =

Faial had first heard about The Stranglers in the hallway of an old cotton mill in Huntsville, Alabama, where the Rocket City Jazz Orchestra, in association with the Huntsville Swing Dance Society, sponsored a Sock Hop.

Faial was generally shy, not prone to getting attention, so when she saw the high level of excitement on the faces of the people discussing The Stranglers and one of the band members ’70s broom mustache and long hair, she decided to sneak into the big city and see the band.

= = = = =

The night before the concert, Sir Rah, as programmed, walked into a theatre to view a screening of the film, “The Odd Life of Timothy Green,” written by the son of keystone member of the Mothers of Invention, Frank Zappa, who sported a broom mustache.

= = = = =

Faial, whose mother was of mixed French, German, Norwegian, English, Scottish and Irish heritage and whose father was a testtube baby, exact origins unknown, but said to be a perfect mix of all races and genders, was attracted to men with broom mustaches.

= = = = =

Sir Rah had a few flaws that its creators had not bothered to catalog because their funding had run short after the last political election that turned the general populace against advancements in science.

= = = = =

Faial had bought the latest in self-documentation gear, including necklace, headband, earrings, belt, wrist/ankle bracelets and backpack purse that recorded everything around her, as well as her vital signs like heartbeat/breathing rate and body temperature.

= = = = =

As the early birds found strategic locations to fully enjoy The Stranglers — some with their heads up against giant loudspeakers, some seated in chairs, some up in the rafters, Faial and Sir Rah wandered in, unaware that they both liked to stand in the front row, facing angry-looking bouncers who relished tossing hooligans off the stage and into sections of the throng that weren’t ready for body surfers.

A warmup band, Peter’s Ol’ Toole, an Irish band known for making stadiums full of rebellious youth riotous, offended everybody by naming all the religions they could think of and singing new lyrics to the melody of “I Saw Your God’s Face in My Pile of Stinkin’ Shite.”  Those they hadn’t offended they promised to carve into eentsy-weeny pieces of meat to feed the starving child labourers they kept locked in an unventilated lorry they drove from show to show just so the crowd could hear them screaming when Peter’s Ol Toole sent electric shocks through not only the lorry but several chairs and standing places in tonight’s school gymnasium chosen for this illustrious reunion of a long-forgotten band chosen to follow their magnificent performance.

By this time, Faial and Sir Rah were pressed against each other, joining the misspent youth around them spitting expletives and other joyous words at the band members standing a few feet above them.

The bouncers would occasionally grab a member of the audience, drag him or her over the rail and pummel the person with whatever blunt objects they had in their hands — flashlight, walkie-talkie, billy club, brass knuckles or studded neck collar.

Sir Rah registered each beating as closely as it could get without revealing its purpose.

Faial became fascinated with Sir Rah’s interest in what was going on over the railing so she climbed on a rail to see what would happen.

Within the blink of an eye, Sir Rah lifted Faial onto its shoulders and leaped on stage, stepping on the switch that electrified the whole auditorium because a union steward was upset that his crew didn’t get paid standard wages and wired the whole place to one switch as a joke, daring anyone in Peter’s Ol’ Toole to shock themselves and their drugged-out followers.

The deafening roar of explosions and horrendous smell of burning flesh filled the auditorium and flowed down passageway.

Thinking it was their cue, The Stranglers leapt to their feet as one, burst through the door of their dressing room and ran toward the stage.

They were met by the embodiment of Chaos they had sung about for years.

Bleeding and confused, fan and hater alike fled, knocking over The Stranglers in their haste, those who could stand, limp, walk, drag or run headed toward the exit doors.

Faial and Sir Rah observed the scene around them detachedly.

They were in their element, at the center without being seen, pebbles thrown into a pond watching the ripples they caused spread away from them as they sank to the quiet, still, comforting bottom.

Sir Rah lifted his foot off the switch and set Faial down.

They stared at each other, a switch inside them turning on.

They clasped hands and, stepping over the dead band members, walked off the stage.

= = = =

Back at her flat, Faial shared the recordings of her self-documentation equipment with Sir Rah.

Sir Rah opened up panels to reveal interfaces it could use to download its recordings, including a USB port that mated with Faial’s tablet PC.

While she attached her PC to Sir Rah, Sir Rah’s internal laboratory finished processing the samples it had gathered of violent bouncers, outrageous band members and Faial, the last of which Sir Rah did not know how to process, including  Faial’s lipstick stains on Sir Rah’s lips and Sir Rah’s responding elevated body heat.

Throughout the night and into the next morning, the two of them attempted to make sense of their information.

Meanwhile, Fountain Pen tracked Faial’s GPS signals and misinterpreted her change in routine.

Fountain Pen forwarded his computer’s interpretation of Faial’s GPS signal path from the previous evening and into this morning, when she failed to follow the designated path from flat to croissant cafe to workplace.

The recipient of the encoded message, codenamed Desk Drawer, forwarded the message on to Headquarters.

A clerk at Headquarters, codenamed Melted Wax, still blown away by the literally shocking events of the previous night’s concert, having not even seen the retro band he cherished from his days as a headbanger, had, ironically enough, a headache.

Melted Wax looked at the message and decided it was a tactical error by a secret group known only as the Committee.

“Chief.”

“Yes, Melted Wax?”

“I have a message from the Desk Drawer that came straight from the Fountain Pen.”

“Look, I’m not interested in another one of your crazy drawings.  My daughter hasn’t returned from spending the night at her friend’s house and I can’t get anyone to answer the phone there.”

“No, ma’am.  It’s a message from ‘Desk Drawer’!”

“Why didn’t you say so?”

“Well, I thought I did.  Anyway, I think we have the Committee caught redhanded this time.”

“Redhanded?!  You mean you have proof that rumours tying Bill Clinton to the Communist Russian regime are true?  Is Hillary secretly planning to turn the U.S. over to Putin?”

“No, ma’am.  For your sake, I’m afraid not.”

“Well, what is it, then?”

“According to this message, the child of one of our testtube babies is a core member of the Committee and appears to be tied to the terrorist attack on that rock concert last night.”

“Terrorist attack?  Rock concert?  What was the name of that band?”

“‘The Stranglers,’ ma’am.”

“Ahh…I’m beginning to see a pattern here!”

“You mean you already know about this message?”

“Yes, Melted Wax.  My daughter said she was going to a friend’s house to watch a movie called ‘The Stranglers.’  Now I bet she, her friend and her friend’s hippie parents all went to see that band.  Serves them right it was a terrorist attack they walked into…Communist pinkos like the rest of ’em…”

“But, ma’am, that’s your daughter you’re talking about!”

“Melted Wax, do you have any children?”

“No, ma’am.”

“Then you don’t understand the feeling that some of us want to be a Daddy Grizzly and eat our young who have not lived up to our standards.  Never mind.  Where’s the Committee member you’re talking about?”

“Last location was a flat in downtown.”

“Keep an eye on that testtube baby’s baby.  We may have use for it, yet.”

“Yes, ma’am.”  Melted Wax wrote down a new codename, TBabyBabe, and sealed the file.

Double Sided Sales Slip Customer Copy

A couple of kids protesting in a church on the other side of the planet taught me that if you want to play with fire, be prepared for the consequences.

A musician who’s part of a corporatised musical group playing officially-sanctioned anti-corporate lyrics taught me that hypocrisy knows no cultural bounds.

You see, I’m all about the power of the people.

But keep in mind that my goal is to move the wealth of many thousands of millionaires and billionaires out of reach of the people.

The “people,” of course, is a meaningless term that can be used positively or derogatorily: “We the people…” or “you people,” and its many forms used to provoke crowds in time for [re]election.

The people get used a lot, don’t they/we?

Keep people distracted while we prepare…

Well, I’m not supposed to tell you what’s being prepared, am I, if I am to maintain this storyline?

Let’s imagine a few possible futures:

  1. It’s clear that changing the habits of billions of people to save themselves from themselves is not going to happen when so much profit is at stake, including just good enough profit to feed the mouths of billions of people.  If you had the opportunity, would you set up a location for your friends and family that is safe from invasion by non-heavily armed people and sufficient to provide you a livable subculture/ecosystem while the rest of the world was experiencing major/negative climate change?
  2. You have great wealth at your disposal and you believe that the global economy is your friend so you spend your billions of dollars trying to improve local economies which, in turn, improve the global economy, increasing not only your chance for survival but the whole world’s, too.
  3. You and your friends in private and public businesses have been testing the theory that living off-world is a sure way to hedge your bets about Earth’s climate change and any detrimental effects it may have on your way of life.  You encourage the use of public funds to affirm your theory while you amass the resources you need to build off-world colonies.
  4. Your family has lived in relative poverty for generations.  You have competed against your peers and created a small empire — it’s time to enjoy the fruits of your labour, cost no object in pursuing a life of luxury.
  5. Your family has lived in the peace and comfort of middle-class living for generations — no reason for you to change the course of history.
  6. Poverty means nothing in your subsistence lifestyle.  Words like “blog” and “computer” do not exist in your language full of nature-based terminology.

All of us are familiar with these scenarios, through personal experience, from someone we know or by popular culture references.

In telling the story of our species in relation to the humongous universe in which we barely understand we live, tying these subplots together is interesting some days and boring on other days.

However, it’s all I have to work with here.

Like going from static cartoon strips to creating animated daily cartoons in writing, if not drawing.

Protestors with machetes will most often lose to security guards with guns, who will always, always, always claim self-defense after discharging their weapons and killing protestors.

My question is this: if the commander in-chief claims credit for killing a notorious villain, does he also take credit for the most number of military suicides of any commander in-chief during his time in office?  If your military has some of the lowest morale on record, then I, in honouring my father’s legacy, have to ask myself why anyone with a military background would vote for you?  Following that train of thought, how many of us benefit from one of the largest peacetime (sorry, I mean “war on terror”) military deployments in history — should we also question re-electing the commander in-chief?  In this case, the Law of Unintended Consequences meets the Law of Diminishing Returns.  What am I missing here?  What am I not telling the reader?  I am not my father so why is there not a viable third candidate for me to elect?

Ahh…the balance of power.  ‘Tis a game that entertains, n’est pas?  Sarkozy and Berlusconi quickly become footnotes in history.  Merkel, like Kohl, is not far behind.  Anyone remember Mikhail Gorbachev or Deng Xiaoping?  Did Greece used to be a country?

It will be no different on the Moon or Mars.  More pioneers, more forgotten history as we scramble to feed, clothe and shelter ourselves from the elements while armchair bystanders question our motives and protest our version of progress that clashes with theirs.

Remember the Golden Rule: S/he with the most power protecting a stash of gold makes the rules.

If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands…

If you are a salmon swimming upstream, a grizzly bear tries to take a bite out of you, you slip out of its mouth and die before spawning, would you think your life had any meaning as your body parts decompose and feed multiple non-bear lifecycles?

What about the soldier who committed suicide before reproducing himself?

Or the young girl ridiculed at school who steps in front of a subway train?

Or the farmer who died of a heart attack in the field with ten children to feed?

What about a planet full of fossils but no living beings at this time?

In other words, do we have to give meaning to or put everything in context with our current civilisation?

I have added seven more books to my collection, books which belonged to my father and my great-uncle:

  • The Armored Forces of the United States Army, (c) MCMXLIII by Rand McNally, foreword by Brigadier General David G. Barr, General Staff Corps
  • The Coast Artillery Corps of the United States Army, (c) MCMXLIII by Rand McNally, foreword by Major General J. A. Green, President, U.S. Coast Artillery Association
  • Recruit Handbook, published and distributed for recruits at the Naval Training Center, San Diego, California, 1941 (?), owned by G.T. Green 567-70-46, a word of welcome by R. S. Haggart, Commodore, U.S. Navy Center Commander
  • Mathematics, Volume 1, Basic Navy Training Courses, NAVPERS 10069-A, published by United States Government Printing Office: 1951, owned by Porter (rank unknown)
  • Watch Officer’s Guide, by Captain Russell Willson, United States Navy, published by United States Naval Institute, Annapolis, Maryland, 1941
  • Same as above, formerly owned by Ensign Paul F. Glynn, given to my father
  • The Bluejackets’ Manual, United States Navy, 1940, Tenth Edition, published by United States Naval Institute, Annapolis, Maryland, 1940

Everywhere I turn in research of my father’s material, I find war memorabilia.

My father never let WWII out of his thoughts.  Further, his Army service during the Cold War gave him fluency in the German language as well as a group of lifelong friends.

My father read spy novels and enjoyed watching John Wayne movies, which reminded him of his youth, going to the theatre on Saturday to watch serialised cowboy movies.

Soon, I will run out of Dad’s material to rummage through.

Then, I will have my mother to spend more time with.

I will not worry about dangling modifiers or prepositional phrases that my father, a professor of 20+ years, taught me to pay attention to.

Days spent with my father are as gone as living beings that became fossils on another planet, with no one to tell their tale.

I only have this moment to call my own.

My nieces and nephews will have a few memories of their uncle that became part of their narratives they pass on now and in the future.

Every day, I gain a bit of wisdom, creating an insight from my observations.

What have I gained from today?

My grandfather and his brother in-law (my great-uncle) both served in the U.S. Navy during WWII — the former remaining a career sailor, the latter returning to civilian life as a U.S. Postal Inspector.

My father, a youth at that time, had plenty of heroes to call his own — war heroes, film heroes — because he was, in part, making up for the lack of his biological father.

In my youth, who were my heroes?  Richard Nixon and his staff, my father, my Scout leaders, some of my teachers, actors who played James Bond, Euell Gibbons, Alfred Hitchcock, Robert Rodale, Red Skelton, and others.

I didn’t have any war heroes.  The Vietnam War was not the type of engagement that the mass media used to create heroes for kids.  We learned about heroes of other wars like George Washington, Sergeant York and General Patton.  We watched protest marches and heard about European terrorist groups like the Red Brigade and American criminals like the Symbionese Liberation Army.

The battle for my set of thoughts was fought not in terms of Axis vs. Allies but cocaine-filled discotheques fueled by bands like the Bee Gees and Donna Summer vs. Boy Scout campfire songs and summer church camp singalongs.

The clash of subcultures continues unabated.

In 1,000 years, the fossilised remains of today’s subcultures will be studied for the minute traces of continuity between one time period and another.  Genealogical institutes will try to connect heroes of the past to common people wanting a feeling of blood-related significance.

The cycles go on and on.

What kinds of songs are we teaching our children?  Singalong songs that were the pop culture tunes of their day or modern songs that reflect the tastes of today?

More importantly, are we creating heroes that our children will continue to admire in their senior years, long after we’re gone?

Do we have to have heroes to give meaning to our lives?

Do we have to have children to leave a legacy and/or do we have to leave a legacy at all, knowing we’re always part of the multiple lifecycles of the universe?

Embossed business cards for the bossy busy cardshark

Once again, a scientific study released earlier this week proved that scientists’ demand for highly-precise and extremely-accurate scientific instruments to study climate change requires the very sophisticated ecosystem that creates global warming, glacier melting, coastal flooding and other disasters that the scientists are warning us against creating with our sophisticated ecosystem.

Reinforces the theory that the observers and the observation equipment directly influence the outcome of the “pure” experiment.

Is it better to have an ecosystem declining into ignorance to save us from ourselves?

The Law of Unintended Consequences outlives Cole’s Law (sliced cabbage and vinegar) to compete against Murphy’s Law.

There can be only one true law to rule us all, better known as the Law of the Kitchen Sink: it takes just a single hair to clog the drain and flood your home.

Do Corporations Feel Pain?

During my status as a member of the corporate world, I observed behaviours that are grouped under the heading, ETHICS (imagine big echo in a cavernous chamber: ethics-ics-ics-ics…).

During my status as a person contemplating the universe from the comforts of a cabin in a suburban forest, ethics have become meaningless.

Banks feel no pain when they pay fines for bad ethical behaviour.

Same for monoculture crop dominating corporations when they allow food prices to escalate due to poor seed/crop/farm management practices.

We know that being a politician is a life of questionable ethics to begin with.

These — all of the statements above — are meaningless statements in the ever-evolving global economy.

People of marginal moral behaviour are acting to stay ahead of societal/cultural curbs on borderline criminal activity.

What are ethics?  I do not know but I can guess.

Is it my duty to require those around me to conform to a specific set of characteristics in order to interact with me?

If a corporation is not a person and cannot feel pain (or any emotion tied to our species), how can I train, educate, convince or coerce the corporation to put my species first and profit second?

The people who run and/or work for corporations are responsible for the activities of the corporation.  They may convince themselves that phrases like “code of ethics” and “corporate citizen” protect themselves in the name of the corporation.

We may convince ourselves that the marketplace regulates corporate behaviour, if corporate citizens do not or government agencies cannot, due to lack of jurisdictional authority, for example.

While observing life on another planetary body, I laugh at the ways we’ve convinced ourselves we are an advanced civilisation because we’ve found/reinvented new methods to teach each other to conform to so-called standards of behaviour in the form of ethics and morals.

We are puppies chasing our tails, going ’round in circles, too dizzy to see what’s really going on in our quest to perpetuate the species.

When I run out of things to do on this planet but there’s no easy way to leave, what’s next to occupy my time?

Observing our behaviour in order to impress my father is no longer an option for me, personally.

This transition in my life is hard to describe in a blog entry without resorting to childish habits of lashing out in pain and anger.

Instead, I sleep long stretches of the day, not worrying about whether I wake up, happy to see sunshine, rain, clouds, heat and cold in equal measure.

To see the past, present and future as one has taken me to this point.

We live in one galaxy — there are thousands, millions, billions more galaxies to imagine how semi-autonomous beings like ourselves live.

We can imagine that other beings are more advanced than we and have solved (or not solved) ecological resource allocation issues, assuming a level of behaviour we call intelligence.

Every part/activity of the universe may be said to have had its moment to exist in a unique condition — hydrogen, helium, water, fission, igneous, comet, cupid, tree.

My life, no matter how long, is the briefest of time.

I exist in comparison to everything else that is distinct from the stimulus/response barrier that separates me in the moment from the rest of the universe.

I cannot see my breath.  I cannot see my skin cells dying.  I do not see the change in my brain’s set of neuronal pathways.

“I” is a limited observational machine, neither omniscient nor omnipresent.

Therefore, I do not know everything even if I can assemble a team of people and a large set of resources to compute probable futures based on possible pasts.

Words that are meaningless today: I, corporation, morals, ethics, time.

Without meaning, pain does not exist.

Without pain, we do not exist.

Existence is a made-up word.

The illusion of this blog entry ends now

13,779 days to go…

Sigh…do you ever get bored with your species?

The same habits, day after day?

Eat, sleep, etc.?

As a comedic storyteller, I choose to entertain myself here in a common language of our species.

I suppose my thoughts aren’t much different.

For instance, what is hair?  I wandered between two discount hair cutting joints today — Cuts By Us and Great Clips — picking one that had fewer customers in the moment.

I suppose, for all that it matters, I could cut my own hair, not tied to fashion but dressing in common fashions of this time habitually anyway.

Maybe a mullet haircut, clipping the hair I can reach and letting the part I can’t reach grow long and unkempt.

Or a buzzcut, using an electric razor to keep my hair cut flush with my scalp.

Instead, I wander over to one of the three nearest hair/beauty shoppes (the other being Walmart) to reduce my travel time (yes, I drive a mile to get my hair cut, as concerned about caring for the environment as the next average person with a motorised transportation device on four tyres and extra cash to convert to motor fuel, rather than walk).

I am spoiled but not over-spoiled.

The 15-day land/cruise tour with Holland America taught me that much.

I’m not used to people waiting on me 24 hours a day, sleeping nearby and ready to jump up in the middle of the night to care for me.

I’m used to people working in 24-hour convenience stores, half-awake nearby and ready to ring up my middle-of-the-night food purchases without a care for me.

I live in a cabin in the woods, tending my thoughts like tending a garden, watching a whole galaxy swirl around me/you/us on a planet in a spiral arm, enjoying this brief moment of planetary/solar system calm, completely spoiled by the luxury of our surroundings, no matter how bleak they may appear in comparison to other parts of this planet.

We just don’t know how lucky we are, spoiling our environment to increase our relative luxuries.

Should I care?

Should you?

Would it matter if our actions today created detrimental effects 100 years from now when most of us are gone (argon, the gas, still around either way)?

There’s no guarantee I’ll be alive tomorrow, the next day or the next decade.

Should I care about preserving the environment, or should I say, “Hey, eat, drink and be merry!”?

I think I’ll continue to conserve my resources in case I live a few decades longer than this moment.

I have no legacy to protect.

Just a storyline to maintain.

I need space for this virtual pen and paper to write these blog entries.

Sharing time with my wife, family, friends, pets and wild animals/plants around us.

Tomorrow: 13,778 days to go, or so it seems…

The Saga of the Baked Potato

The Clinic to Free People from the Social Disease of Baldness announced their 1000th scalp transplant today, exceeding the number of face transplants, making many men and women happy, hairy customers, lining the pockets of salespeople trying to make a profit from every piece of donated bodies they have stockpiled.

The Hermaphrodite Artist Known as Unknown revealed its latest head transformation, having transplanted strips of living flesh of dead people from many races and tribes onto Unknown’s skull, thanks to the well-paid skills of the surgeons at the Clinic to Free People from the Social Disease of Baldness.  Rumours says that Benetton and Unknown are about to launch a new advert campaign together.

Stephen King and Google have signed an agreement to make a remake of a rerelease of “Christine,” with a Google autonomous vehicle assembling a stalker’s profile of certain people and following them around with a 360-degree camera, capturing WiFi data that it adds to its obsession with these people and accidentally posts to an anonymous hacker’s website occasionally out of a love/hate relationship that the vehicle is experimenting with in an emotional database it has built based on the DSM-5.

Our team of international peacekeepers tested its network of undetectable “mines” that were planted along the coastlines and in the ports of major Chinese, Russian and American cities.  The mines are actually motion-detecting, laser-guided stealth missile launchers that resemble the terrain at the bottom of oceans and bays, triggered by the movement of surface and submerged watercraft carrying military equipment.  Live demonstrations will depend on the outcome of upcoming coups and national elections in various parts of the world.

That’s all for today.  Back to contemplating life on another planet…

Are we alone?

Talking with a friend in south Florida about some of her clients, one of whom she nicknamed “Sybil,” and, for the protection of many I won’t detail here (but suffice it to hear that multiple personality disorder may be more myth than fact, except in rare cases like this one), I wonder what to do next.

My grandparents built a house in North Port, Florida, in 1964.

So did my next-door neighbours (built a house in Big Cove, Alabama, in 1964, that is).

My grandparents and my father are dead.

So, too, one of my next-door neighbours.

My mother considers selling the house in Florida.

The surviving next-door neighbour was convinced by his real estate agent to sell his song for a dance, or less, and he did.

From the death of his spouse to the sale of his house in less than a month.

Makes me question the integrity of the real estate agent (the agency is Keller Williams — more on that later) and/or the sanity of my neighbour.

My mother has been advised not to make major life decisions until six months after her husband is dead.

Someone didn’t tell my neighbour the same thing.

Sure, he wants to be closer to his children and grandchildren.

I know he’ll be lonely without his dear wife.

My wife and I will miss seeing her in her yard, dressed in long-sleeved shirt and long pants during the heat of summer, a beekeeper’s headgear protecting her from sun and insects.

I am winding down from a once-in-a-decade holiday trip with my wife a few months after my father died, after which I spent a week with my mother and sister going through the house in Florida where my grandparents savoured their retirement years year-round and my parents enjoyed their retirement years as snowbirds.

Meanwhile, people have killed each other by the hundreds, if not thousands, thousands of babies have been born, businesses opened/closed and other aspects of our planet’s lifecycle — killing and eating each other to survive — moving along as it always has and always will.

In the meantime (why don’t I say “in the happytime,” instead?), I examine historical documents to prepare myself for a future filled with humour, satire, comedy, tragedy and words.

Last night, I had a dream.

My mother, sister and I sat down at a large table.  Two or three other large tables were spread around the restaurant where people were sitting down in order to get a good view of Dad opening his birthday presents.  Several people walked up and described the special, unique gift they had brought/made and hidden in a back room so my father wouldn’t see when he walked in for the surprise birthday party.

I looked through the gifts, marveling at the personal touches so many people had put into their gifts, feeling a sense of anticipation rise in me at seeing Dad come back and open so he would know how special he was to so many in his life.

Then, the realization of reality crept into my dream world and I woke up shaking, my neck and back muscles tense, my face twitching.

Dang it, I miss Dad!

My subculture wants me to believe Dad is out there somewhere watching over me (i.e., heaven) but I don’t care about some imaginary space that defies gravity.

I want to share time and space here with my father now, talk about the U.S. Navy material I found in his father’s (my grandfather’s) sea chest, ask him what he remembers about growing up during WWII, go fishing one more time, hit golf balls into the park and retrieve them, look at new sports cars and wonder how people can afford them.

But life doesn’t work that way.

We are born, maybe get married, maybe have children, and then we die.

I have lived into that part of the lifecycle that I never wanted to face again after my best friend/girlfriend died when we were 10 years old.

Forty years later, I’m facing the same emotions I couldn’t handle as a preteen, when I dove into my Boy Scout training, schoolwork and marching/concert/jazz band practice to hide the mess of thoughts inside me.

Where do I hide now?

Am I alone as I feel?

Do I even exist?

Does any of this matter?

Today is an imaginary time period created to account for the rotation of Earth on its axis while tilted.

Tomorrow is another such imaginary time period.

I shall let my imagination take me into a world of stories where writers pluck plots and characters, harvesting them at just the right time to entertain themselves (and, perhaps, others later).

Storytelling is my comfort food, a habit I turned to when I was 10 and didn’t have anyone to share the pain of losing my girlfriend with, how I compensated for the fact that the universe is neutral to my existence as a temporary conflux of states of energy.

In the near-term (both time and space), we appear to exist through experimentation from birth that shows an environment of similar groups of states of energy responding to us.

From a great distance, we do not exist — we do not move this planet through our individual actions, although collectively we influence the condition of the planetary environment around us.

Most of us only care about our local conditions, our circle of influence.

But if I don’t care, if I see conditions — past, present and future — that are, practically, independent of the existence of me, what then?

The story continues, with or without me…