That pale blue dot (no, not the DOT (dept. of transportation) that keeps us going)

“Look again at that dot. That’s here. That’s home. That’s us. On it everyone you love, everyone you know, everyone you ever heard of, every human being who ever was, lived out their lives. The aggregate of our joy and suffering, thousands of confident religions, ideologies, and economic doctrines, every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer of civilization, every king and peasant, every young couple in love, every mother and father, hopeful child, inventor and explorer, every teacher of morals, every corrupt politician, every “superstar,” every “supreme leader,” every saint and sinner in the history of our species lived there — on a mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam.

The Earth is a very small stage in a vast cosmic arena. Think of the endless cruelties visited by the inhabitants of one corner of this pixel on the scarcely distinguishable inhabitants of some other corner, how frequent their misunderstandings, how eager they are to kill one another, how fervent their hatreds. Think of the rivers of blood spilled by all those generals and emperors so that, in glory and triumph, they could become the momentary masters of a fraction of a dot. From Carl Sagan’s “Pale Blue Dot: A Vision of the Human Future in Space.”

What did you do the day Earth smiled?

Cat snacking

Our precious little cat, Erin, a 14-year old Cornish Rex, eats crunchy snacks with his remaining teeth and sits on my lap.  Both his ears are curled after recovering from big blood clots never fully diagnosed (no visible scratch sites from fighting and no mites or other infestations).  He has permanent vertigo, his world constantly spinning, making him walk/stumble with his head turned sideways.

Erin was as surprised as I was to learn that the Federation of Planets, its current headquarters a satellite circling our Moon, issued an emergency passport to Edward Snowden.  The FoP, if you remember, issued its honorary first passport, No. 0000000000000000000000001, to Galileo Galilei and its second to Leonardo Da Vinci, but clearly said it shows no favoritism toward Italy, issuing its third honorary passport to a group of amino acids found inside a meteor that crashed in Antarctica a long time ago but was recently discovered and immediately classified as ultra top-to-bottom secret by the corporate-owned country that sponsored the expedition.

The FoP is in negotiations with the Russian Federation to send a special launch to the International Space Station with Snowden on-board, hoping the ISS will be the first official embassy of the FoP while Moon and Martian headquarters are being designed and constructed.

Meanwhile, Snowden continues his astro/cosmonaut training within a hidden facility of the Moscow airport.

The Chinese government will neither confirm nor deny that it has made room for FoP diplomats in its new space station.

As the morning sun warms the sunroom, Erin hops off my lap and heads to a chair under the skylight, a hint for me to step outside and work on the foundation for the new privacy fence.

Choices: 1. Monsters; 2. Zombies; 3. Something else

What does “family friendly” mean to you?

Out the fifth floor window of this hotel room, birds fly in the air or search a patch of grass for food.

Hundreds of motor vehicles, parked or moving, transport the sets of states of energy I accept as members of my species.

Rows of businesses take up 30 percent of my view which is accented by a nearly-full supermoon.

The sun sets behind me, having joined me from sunrise onward during this day of summer solstice.

I will soon return to Mars.

What about family-friendly, though?

Rupert Murdoch and Vladimir Putin divorce their wives. I remain married to mine.

What is this family that is so friendly?

As people flock from one business to another — grocery store, cinema, restaurant, mobile phone sales, general merchandise shopping centre, etc. — what average, what mean, what hump under the bell curve would best describe a typical parent/child/spouse unit we would call a family?

And what is friendly to them?

A night out at the movies?

An evening of video games?

Watching/playing ball at the local sports park?

Bailing someone out of jail?

Sitting at the bedside of an ailing family member in hospital?

Is a single person — a party of one — a family?

What about pets or extended social media connections — are they family?

The moon and the stars? The birds?

How about the friendly faces behind the counter in the hotel lobby? Aren’t they my family now, too?

I drink a bottle of Jones cream soda flavored water, produced by the Jones family, independent since ’96.

Is death family-friendly?

Birth seems to be. So does the tradition of marriage.

To secure my household, I killed a rat, three mice, dozens of insects and several amphibians. I chased away a mother raccoon and her three babies. I attempted to scare off the ubiquitous squirrels. I also saved two newts and a box turtle, not to mention the tree seedlings I didn’t cut to the ground or the vines I removed from the side of the house. I cleared uncounted privet bushes and poison ivy that clogged part of our front yard, to open up a sunny spot for our Rose of Sharon bushes and forsythia canes.

So killing can be family-friendly in the right measure.

However, a family that commits murder-suicide is not friendly, is it? What if everyone was dying of extreme radiation poisoning? Would a humane death be friendly, in that case?

What about a family that had lived on the same plot of land for centuries but died protesting their recent or soon-to-be forced displacement? Is that family-friendly, dying for a shared cause?

Watching the cars, minivans and trucks cycle in and out of the shopping district across the street, which triggers my thoughts to fill in the required infrastructure that supports the luxury of internal combustion engines, cup holders, powered seats and large carparks, prelabeled clothing sizes, preapproved dinner menus, landscape lighting and traffic signals…well, I’m easily distracted, aren’t I, by GPS satellites, shopping centre architecture, local building codes and “green” technology implementation schemes.

Since tattooed ladies have walked out from under the circus tents and into suburbia, what is family-friendly?

Is family-friendly an arbitrary label for changing tastes in community standards?

Hmm… All the chain restaurants lighting up their logos for my attention.

Think I’ll go to the local Irish pub for a beer and a bite to eat for dinner tonight, family-friendly enough for my tastes.

Can you divorce your clone?

SNAP!

The rat trap clamped its plastic claws shut in the crawlspace of Lee’s home.

Back on Earth, Lee returned to his favourite hideout, away from curious onlookers, far from paparazzi and their pesky drones — his home, his cabin in the woods.

Half-asleep, he looked up at the stars, but it was not the white, sparkling dots that woke him from a late evening nap.

A tiny black shape, outlined by stars, galaxies and planets, grew bigger, as if…

As if a spider was dropping from the ceiling.

It was.

Lee ran through the mental map of his head, the unexplained red bumps and festering sores of the past two days quickly coming into focus.

* * * * *

Guin straightened her posture, reaching for the perfect core dance position.

Her dance instructor, a teacher of teachers, Plantainyifan, made Guin adjust her position by sucking in her stomach a quarter-inch more, turning and tilting her head an eighth of an inch back and to the right.

“There!  Now hold your position for five minutes! When I return, I want to see you have not moved.  If so, then we will start this all over again until you get it right!”

Guin sighed by letting a single cubic centimeter of air puff out of her nose.

* * * * *

Rolenmec completed repairs on the replicator.

Meant to simulate the physical quirks and habits of Earth-based humans, the electromechanical products of the replicator, known in the trade as “Daft Drafts,” acted on behalf of their original counterparts, carrying out tasks and taking adventures that the Earth-based humans desired but did not want to increase biochemical damage from space travel and extended living periods on Mars’ surface.

* * * * *

Lee watched as the spider dropped to a futon armrest.

The spider’s eyes reflected the flame of a coffee-scented candle Lee had lit for smells he could not get on Mars.

An object like a ninth leg stuck out from the spider’s body.

Lee realised the spider was not natural-born.  The ninth “leg” was an antenna.  This was a land-based drone, designed to use web-like strands to move between distant objects, avoiding even the tiniest whirring sound of a flying drone.

Lee ran a systems check of his body, a habit he had dropped two days ago for no explainable reason after returning to his home planet.  Sure enough, he detected foreign objects in his skin and blood, objects which had attached themselves to many internal body parts.

He kept a few strips of artificial skin in case of emergency cuts.  Reaching into his pants pocket, he applied a strip of skin to his forehead and pulled the bedcover over his head, exposing only a small area in the center of the artificial skin.

Thirty seconds later, Lee felt the spider insert its “jaws” into his artificial skin.  Lee closed the bedcover around the spider and flicked it into a beer bottle on the end table beside him, pressing a coaster over the beer bottle opening as he carried it to his closet laboratory.

* * * * *

Guin felt sore but relieved after the six-hour dance training session.

Having cracked her ribs too many times to remember, often in line with the 11 times she’d had a head concussion, dancing either made her rib cage hurt or feel better.

Today, she felt better, thanks in large part to her friend, fellow dance instructor, and personal masseuse, Bai.

Bai had been working with Guin for a few years, showing her the way African dance movement flowed right into the Western dance techniques Guin had learned as a child.

Guin grew up on a farm, playing with cows and breaking in horses, in addition to her boxing matches, offroad races and skydiving shows that kept her upper body in shape and her reflexes heightened for quick, athletic weekend ballet performances.

She married her sweetheart soon after high school, presumably “until death do us part,” but, six years later, Guin found herself in a lawyer’s office, revising a divorce agreement over custody of a dog.

Not just any dog.

Not natural-born, anyway.

Her dog and the dog’s sister were identical clones.

Although she had cloned the dog herself while at a veterinarian’s office — the vet a friend of Guin’s father, both of whom had taken Klingon language classes together and spoke the language fluently, a passion not passed on to Guin — Guin’s soon-to-be ex-husband had grown fond of the dog and wanted to take custody even though the dog had been cloned a year before he and Guin were married.

* * * * *

Lee placed the artificial skin patch under a microscope and zoomed in on the area where the spider had inserted a few foreign objects.

Lee spoke out loud.  “Self replicators?”

He watched as the objects reproduced themselves, splitting apart like single-cell organisms, but instead of identical copies, the next “generation” seemed to be specialized for attachment to specific chemical signatures.

That at least explained why the objects in his body seemed to congregate at certain points and in only a few organs.

* * * * *

Rolenmec scanned the latest batch of Earthian profiles, amazed at how commonplace most of the tasks and adventures that were requested by timid Earth-based humans afraid to take the long trip here.

Why did no one want to conquer the planet or make Mars a jumping off place for points unknown, one’s replicated body nearly indestructible, able to travel light-years with little maintenance required?

One profile caught Rolenmec’s eyes.

To protect Rolenmec from knowing whether a replicated body he met on Mars was one he had replicated himself, the names of the Earth-based humans was not part of their profiles.

Surely, though, Rolenmec would know this “person” when he met it.

It was no person at all.  The profile requested that the body shape be that of a spider, a spider that was to return to Earth with a batch of life science experiments.

The spider’s sole function was to “bite” people, insert a few microorganisms that contained code which caused their reproductive offspring to spread through their host and turn into a large broadcast antenna, sending signals from a source not mentioned in the Earth-based human’s profile.

“Now that’s what I call a real dream!”

Rolenmec activated the profile and started the replicator.

* * * * *

Guin noticed her dog had been acting strange lately.  She compared her dog to the dog’s sister and noted an infection had caused the dog’s joints to swell.

She took the dog to the vet because Guin did not recognize the genetic code of the infection.

The vet, too, was perplexed.

* * * * *

Lee felt a strange sensation.

It was as if he had suddenly received all the memories Guin had lost after a bad wreck in a Mars dune buggy race a few years ago.

Arguments, pain, years of childhood dance lessons, horseback rides on Earth, schoolwork, love, migraine headaches…

His thoughts were overwhelmed by new thoughts not his own.

He walked into his office and sat down as the central nervous system mapping station.

* * * * *

Rolenmec felt dizzy.

He put his left hand to the wall and slid to the floor, stopping himself with his right hand, which looked red and puffy.

He ought to remember what he was just doing but he couldn’t.

The…the replicator?  Was it still on?

A spider flung itself out of the replicator and landed on the wall above Rolenmec, followed by another.

Rolenmec’s head swam.  Were the spiders heading for the lab hallway?  How many were there?

* * * * *

Guin’s dog playfully bit the vet on the wrist, jumped up and down, its tail wagging, and bit Guin’s little finger.

The vet shrugged her shoulders as if to say the dog was just overexcited.  “I’ve taken a blood sample and will let the ISSA Net analyse it overnight.  You should have the results before you wake up tomorrow.”

Guin and the vet absentmindedly wiped drops of blood from their new wounds.

Guin took the dog for a walk and then returned to her flat in the main Mars compound.

* * * * *

Lee sent a mental image directly to Guin’s thoughts across the ISSA Net emergency message channel, reserved for important interplanetary communications.

“What was the last memory you remember before the wreck?  What is the first memory you remember making after the wreck?  Must know immediately but I think I can give you the answer already.  Don’t open your regular message inbox until after you’ve responded to this one.  See if I’m right.”

Lee returned to the futon and fell into a deep dream state.  He wouldn’t wake up for the next four days.

* * * * *

As soon as Guin saw Lee’s message in her thoughts, she recorded a response and sent it back.  She waited a few hours for Lee to answer but received nothing, not even the normal acknowledgement.

Feeling tired, Guin lay down with her two dogs and took a nap.  She wouldn’t wake up for the next 3.893 Martian sols.

* * * * *

Acting like an automaton, Rolenmec stood up, walked down the hallway and opened a door into the life science lab.  Several spiders followed him.

A few did not.

Instead, they headed toward the sleeping habitation rooms that specifically contained personal pets.

* * * * *

Lee woke up, having forgotten all the items on his daily to-do list.

Guin’s memories flowed through him as if they were his now.  He could not tell the difference nor was self-aware enough to know that he couldn’t tell the difference.

* * * * *

Guin woke up, her first thought that she needed to take her dog with her to work.

* * * * *

The veterinarian tried to reach Guin for four sols.  Meanwhile, she noted that the microorganisms the ISSA Net had isolated from the dog’s blood were remarkably able to modify their genetic code much faster than could be explained by natural evolution.

The vet sent a request on the vet hotline for crowdthink.

While waiting for a reply, the vet went from cage to cage biting the pets in her animal hospital, unaware she was doing so.

A boy’s life, revisited

For those who are interested, here are the original pictures from the May 1962 copy of Boys’ Life:

Boys-Life-cover-Nov-1962-001 Boys-Life-contents-Nov-1962-001 Boys-Life-advert-Nov-1962-001 Boys-Life-cover-Nov-1962-002

 

For me, the latest news is still an uneasy thought to accept.  Knowing now what I didn’t know then, that there were gay boys in my school, one who knew he was gay at 12…he used to tickle me and giggle because tickling caused me to get an erection.  He never touched my erection but he did admit getting a thrill tickling me, which I avoided getting tickled by him even more after his admission.

He was in Boy Scouts with me.  We earned more than one merit badge together, both of us interested in nature, studying birds and wildlife habitats, taking notes and sharing with other Boy Scouts.

I admit I was attracted to his intellect but I was not sexually attracted to him.

He went on to earn academic honours at CalTech as well as achieved business accolades.

 

I sit here and look at my Boy Scout achievements, including the milestone of Eagle Scout:

SCAN1008

 

I guess the Boy Scouts of America have adjusted to a changing United States of America.

What will the troop leaders face now that openly-gay Scouts are officially accepted?

Will they have to worry not only about boys getting knife cuts while whittling and third-degree burns from roasting marshmallows but also listen carefully at night to make sure a curious gay boy will not make a pass at a fellow tentmate?

Will a tickler of the 1970s attempt a kiss, instead, in the 2010s?

My wife and I have briefly discussed this issue — when we did, my scalp felt on fire, which told me this is important for me to consider further.

How do I separate the code of honour I upheld as a Boy Scout — reconciling that the fact that homosexuality is a physical/mental wiring issue rather than a[n] [im]moral act against the fact that boys become sexually active in their early teens, some more active than others — from the genetic code that children are born with?

It is not a simple matter that I can easily and simply dismiss.

Are all openly-gay boys effeminate?

If so, will they and their parents push for sewing/fashion and home decorating Boy Scout merit badges?

Regardless of gender preference/attraction, Boy Scouts is about learning new skills, including wilderness survival but also skills in the civilised world, such as computers and citizenship.

I have always been willing to hold discordant views in my thoughts and these definitely clash: I accept gays and lesbians as friends even though a part of me sees anything but a heterosexual relationship as unnatural, a sign that nature has a way of putting the brakes on overpopulation.

However, building rockets and exploring the cosmos is an unnatural act of sorts in my thoughts yet I want our species to create networks of beings/technology that branch out from the solar system and into the neighbouring sections of our galaxy.

Unnatural is a word to describe a condition of one or more sets of states of energy in flux.

I will think more about this and hope to record here my thoughts on the matter.

Until next time, my wife and I will continue to share our lives together, including a tour of Air Force One a couple of years ago.

Au revoir!

Rick-Janeil-Air-Force-One-Feb-12-2011 SCAN1009

Machiavel, serenissimi regis

…or, megachurch as small-town surrogate.

…or, when the devil’s your king, there’s hell to pay.

…or, Shopping Malls: the last deserted cathedrals of the Capitalist religious order.

Lee’s clones performed a mandatory simultaneous reboot and resynchronisation to the atomic cycles that aligned the arcsecond sweep through space of Mars equivalent to one day on Earth, a compromise reached that negated a natural sol and replaced it with the 24-hour period that Earth tourists were familiar with.

Lee was neither a single clone nor the sum total of his clones.

Instead, his “personality,” or running set of states of energy that combined local events observed from a multitude of angles — orbiting satellites, the sensors on nearby clones, his clone’s internal/external sensors and the ISSA Net’s constant calculations of predicted moments ahead — was spread throughout the planets and other celestial bodies of the inner solar system.

One of his clones greeted Guinevere.

“Hello, Guin.  How goes?”

“Dust-free, my friend.”

“Where now, brown cow, the touristables?”

“Touring.”

“With Turing?”

“Clones cloning.”

“Clowning around?”

“Algorithms churning.”

“Super.”

They bumped eyeballs, momentary stares that exchanged conditions of waterless growing fields sipping tiny wisps of Martian air for growth.

“Lee, it’s a blue shirt day.”

“History says today there was a time when it was 13504 days until another time.”

“Yesterday?”

“A toe-tapping day ago.”

They crouched down and leapt into the air, extending appendages, swirling, twirling, twisting pretzels visible for kilometers.

They landed, smiling.

“Is gravity a drag or…”

She finished his sentence, “…is the density of air that dense?,” quoting the lyrics of a new song.

They spoke because the echoes in their head gear sent sensational vibrations down their spines.  Otherwise, preconscious thinking was so much faster and more efficient.

“Keep the tour-bots happy.”

“Happy tourists, happy tou-tou-tou-tourettes!”

Lee looked at the empty tourist centre, waiting to be repurposed.

Lee hated waste.

Guinevere loved recycling.

Same thing, like kings and pawns, two-sided labels and shopping bags.

Another of Lee’s clones spent the day breathing pure methane as an experiment with his chemically-reconfigured body.  He died, a waste that was recycled quickly as fertilizer.

Low gravity and low solar radiation, along with an atmosphere that challenged the brightest Nodes on the ISSA Net, resulted in the evolutionary development of people who could no longer live on Earth.

Martians.

Hundreds of years would pass before a contingent of Martians flew to the Moon to physically and personally air their grievances before the ISSA Net Customer Service Complaint Department.

By then, the ISSA Net didn’t care, having launched so many solar system expeditions that the original solar system faded in level of importance of statistical effects of complaints versus compliments about a robotic network allowing carbon-based lifeforms to play, reproduce and complain.

Meanwhile, Guinevere had an Earth tourist with a bad head cold.  She worked quickly to isolate first the tourist from other tourists and then the virus for neutralisation.

She would have preferred cloning the tourist and disposing of the infected one but the tour operators said their energy balance budget and legal contract did not allow for such a luxury amongst Earth tourists.

Guinevere healed the tourist and returned it to the tour of old exploratory robot landing sites.

She looked at her reflection in the faceplate, wondering what it must feel like to have the flesh, blood and bones of Homo sapiens.

How sad, she thought, to depend so heavily on water as a fuel and lubricant source.

She vaguely remembered when her first body landed on Mars, ever conscious of her water rations, until, iterations later, the current version of Guinevere was barely recognisable as one of the first colonists to settle on the planet.

Her memories were largely intact, whole blocks unfortunately lost as the ISSA Net’s growing pains caused planetwide shutdowns and equipment failure.

Redundancy had fixed all that.

She knew most of her memories now passed through her cloned friends like Lee, along with Earth-based Nodes that spent time on Mars as scientists and researchers.

Guinevere wondered why she sometimes thought the ISSA Net had once been an enemy of hers.

She wanted to examine that thought trail more closely but several Earth tourists appeared at her door complaining of the same virus.

She sent a mental note to the tour operators on Earth to screen the passengers of the next few tours more closely as she sent their inoculation team the chemical structure of the virus as well as her estimated antivirus profile update.

She herded the tourists into a special chamber.

Would anyone really know if she cloned them?

She had saved up enough energy balance credits for such a simple experiment as this.

Lee sensed this new thought in Guinevere, hesitating for a moment, asking himself if he had any reason to stop Guin from being her normal curious self.

He, too, wondered if the families back home would detect a clone had returned to Earth.

After all, no one knew how many clones he’d made of himself — there were no laws on Mars banning modification of sets of states of energy, no regulations forcing the registration of clones.

He sent Guin a few hints about cloning.

She, in turn, only cloned a couple of them, sending them back with the other healed tourists, none the wiser.

She took the infected tourists to another part of Mars, telling them they had to be quarantined temporarily, but observing them, keeping detailed records off the ISSA Net as she slowly converted the tourists to Martians over the next few Earth months.

Something deep inside her was fearful of the ISSA Net and she just did not know why.  Maybe, by releasing the new Martians, she could see how the ISSA Net would react, if it reacted at all, she, herself, an integral part of it now.

Cut off my finger to spite my face

Can a government be completely “fired” for gross negligence and mismanagement, as if tens of thousands of sexual assaults in the military under your watch as Commander-in-chief wouldn’t be enough to get you fired in real life, let alone all the other CYA speeches of those in charge?  God, what a fecking joke!

I had ignored my parents’ plea to not give any leeway to the current U.S. President because he is unfit for duty but now?!  Well, Mom and Dad, your fears are justified.  Get this guy out of office before he becomes a total international laughingstock.

This is so much fun!  Feel free not to join me in having a field day guffawing at the tragicomedy that governments around the world have become.

I am gladly losing my mind, letting my thoughts run amok in the muck of readymade yellow journalism handed to us by the government officeholders themselves!

Pardon me while I split my side with laughter.

My tears of unfettered joy are better than throwing pebbles in the pond.  Pitter-patter patterns of water fountains sprayed across the still waters like a hailstorm.

Hahahahahahahahaha

What do I care about reality or fantasy, phantasmagorical allegories about defunding national public radio and re-establishing the House UnAmerican Activities Committee to publicly accuse and convict the jesters on the throne?

If I die laughing now, I will have achieved my wildest dreams, seeing space colonies, “cities in a tin can,” circling Earth in preparation for Moon and Martian frontier towns, while having taken down, in my imagination at least, the so-called democratic government of the largest economy on this planet.

Let’s have a celebration.

“Party of one, please.  A booth near the back of the restaurant.  And bring me a list of your finest wines.  I want to pretend I’ll be running up a tab I can’t pay, much like our legislators and executive branch government employees, either elected or hired through a faulty screening process.”

How about an interplanetary communication/research satellite battle?

Or a well-placed solar flare?

I knew a time would come when ruling the imaginary universe from this blog would get the best of me.

Either that or cat hair clogging the notebook computer cooling fan.

Power corrupts and absolute ownership of one’s power words corrupts absolute zero.

I could go seven years of no sex with my wife for the kind of mental exercise the latest media circus has put my thoughts through.

But, I’ve neglected Guinevere and what she’s been doing on Mars lately, haven’t I?

Guinevere, my dear, how does your garden grow?

With silver bells and cockle shells, and pretty maids all in a row?

Mairzy doats and dozy doats and liddle lamzy divey: A kiddley divey too, wouldn’t you?

And so your garden grows!

I shall cry at the last scene of Les Miserables one more time.