Don’t shoot the messenger

subtitled: Billy clubs, Batman and Barney Fife.

In his continuing effort to take guns off the street, Mayor Bloomberg today announced what the press has dubbed the “Barney Fife” rule — all officers on the street will be issued a single bullet, some getting a silver slug in case of vampires, werewolves, ghouls, zombies or other creatures that the masked crusaders cannot reach in time.

Officers who tend to shoot off at the mouth, if not their weapons, will receive what the press has drubbed the “Bobby sox” tool — a billy club, having their revolvers or other handguns turned in and melted to make a statue of the right, honourable mayor Hisself.

Further, Bloomberg issued an edict that a film, “The Dark Knight Rises,” and other mass media that encourages the large gathering of police officers for the sole purpose of firing on citizens, all of whom are presumed to be innocent until proven guilty, are banned from the bouroughs of New York City.

The NRA and the ACLU have banded together to protest these drastic moves by a man who believes he has the power of God Donald Trump.

The UN General-Secretary canceled the rest of his visit to the future site of the UN, Iran, to address this issue and calm the nerves of diplomats used to having police cover as they violate every law of common decency in the abuse of their diplomatic immunity  throughout Manhattan and other areas of New York, especially its servants’ sectors of New Jersey and commuter bedroom communities of Connecticut.

The Police Benevolence Society has lit up every phone in the country, seeking funds to start a campaign to boot Bloomberg from office and put in a man who likes guns, shooting and dead thugs, necessarily in that order.

The Sicilian Mafia, Chinese Triad, Black Panthers, Real NY IRA and other alleged members of organised crime have called a truce while they consider the effects of these new announcements on their business of bribing corrupt police officers to look the other way as they intimidate and fill victims full of lead — maybe billy clubs and the threat of a single silver bullet are more efficient means of controlling their turf.

POV

Wow!  What a controversy!

The World Health Organisation, the World Trade Organisation, People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals and the National Labour Relations Board ruled today that television broadcast of children’s games, including the Little League World Series and high school football, directly violates international child labour laws.

The UN Security Council reached an impasse, with the U.S. and China both agreeing that exploiting children in order to sell junk food and advertising is a basic tenet of the UN charter and should be respected as such.  The Ad Council supported the agreement, as did former world leaders Tony Blair and Taro Aso (麻生 太郎).

The technology company, Apple, denies any involvement in exploiting child labour — it only employs adults whose labours, by happenchance, might have been exploited when they were youngsters.

More as it develops.

Overheard in a theatre

Sadly, I guess the times of my passive-aggressive father are over.  In his day, I doubt we would have heard someone make such a bold, impolite, immoral statement as, “Well, yes, Bill Clinton cheated on his wife, but he was the U.S. President, for Christ’s sake.  Of course, it makes sense that he still represents the Democratic Party.  ‘W’ was a whore man himself before he conveniently found Jesus and cooperated with the Muslim Saudis in selling out American oil interests.  He ‘conveniently’ still represents the Republican Party, too.”

So many cynical observations about promiscuous politicians and teachers, so little time to tell them.  Thank goodness, the film “The Campaign” was enough to tie me over for a while and fill in for such a bleak political election campaign season here in the ol’ US of A, where neither of the two primary candidates for U.S. President can talk about why the American economy is doing so poorly due to their being owned by the same worldwide corporate lobbying interests.

The last two paragraphs are examples of the influences on my youth, which I am trying hard to remove from my set of operational memories.

It is while we prepare the storyline to ease over to another planet (thanks, in part, to the friendly folks at Need Another Seven Astronauts (NASA)), where we will talk about life in the universe that does not center on our species, as puny as it is in comparison to the history of helium or cilia or syphilis/gonorrhea.

I am in a mischievous mood, wanting to make fun of others for the sake of making fun of others with no purpose in mind other than to entertain myself here, rather than in my thoughts alone.

Have you ever sat in a dark theatre, felt a constriction in your chest, the left side of your body going numb for just the briefest of moments, and wondered, “Is this it?”

I can feel it again right now.  Maybe it’s just a muscle twitching after I swept the driveway yesterday.  Or indigestion.

I hope so.

I really would like to sit and laugh quietly for many days longer.

If not…well, it was a good ride.

“It.”  Hmm…

“It” is nothing more than my life, a diversion for other sets of states of energy programmed to reproduce.

I never reproduced.

Scientific studies indicate that reproducing at my age is a recipe for heightened risk of autistic children who would drink out of plastic bottles made with BPA and filled with high fructose corn syrup, take antibiotics and become obese, and, finally, succumb to the onerous labels of “BIG” — BIG farms, BIG Pharma, BIG…you get the picture, if you subscribe to the notion that it’s an “us vs. them” world.

I never met BIG.  I don’t know “them.”  They are just words to me, diversions from a goal one gazillion years in the making, looking back 1000 years from now to see what we’ve accomplished.

Milestones, not accusations.

Actions, not passive disagreement.

A colleague of my father jokingly called my dad an imaginary engineer because of his master’s degree in industrial engineering (even saying so to my father a few days before he died), which always irritated my father.  Now, an industrial engineer is in charge of the largest company in the U.S. by stock value — Apple.  Who gets the last laugh?

That’s the thing.  If this moment is my last one, do I want to have my last thoughts focused on a clever joke or expanding the life of this planet into the cosmos?

I don’t want to spin a passive-aggressive take on a reworked warmed-over punchline.

I sure don’t want to be remembered for simply being clever.

I don’t want to be remembered at all.

This universe is it, all I’ve got, the only verifiable theory of life as I know it.

If I don’t give my minute/tiny/invisible/forgettable place in life a serious thought, who will?

If I don’t have my father around to argue with that the world is not falling to the Nazis and Communists all over again, to whom do I direct my attempt to make peace with my father and our generational gap?

If I don’t have my mother in-law around to convince that the United States is not about to go into another Great Depression (or worse) because a man who is too young (and black) is the U.S. President, to whom do I say that it’s not just white people and old people who care about the American Dream of [democracy and/or capitalism] and freedom for all?

It was a tough decision to say I would never vote again because I care about the higher ideals of our country and our world.  The everyday arguments of this time, of my generation, are perennial — that’s why I don’t care about them.

My visions are hundreds and thousands of years in the making, carrying on a long tradition passed on to me by others, regardless of the current form our organisation of life (i.e., civilisation) may look like.

War and the desire for peace are perennial.

Using available resources until they are depleted and worrying about the consequences are perennial.

That’s why I don’t care about them or the ways we beat our chests like good primates in unison about our alignment with issues such as these.

In the big picture, our species is unimportant.

We aren’t going to agree with the big picture until something else comes along to change that view.

Even then, we’ll argue that our ancestors — the keepers of our origin stories — were right and we’re the center of the universe.

So be it.

You can keep perpetuating those stories in whatever form you like, if it makes you feel better as you procreate.

As long as you keep in the wee spot at the back of your thoughts that you’re working for a larger cause than our species.

I use “cause” cautiously and facetiously because it implies more than what a single blog entry in a continuous storyline is supposed to be about, bringing up imagery of the influences upon my youth again, when this is solely about the way the universe works non-anthropomorphically.

Enough for now in this chapter.

More as it develops…

Paraphrased bumper stickers of the day

I think these are what I saw on the back of a vehicle:

“In a perfect world, a guy could fix his relationships with duct tape and WD40.”

“A real job interferes with my plan for world domination.”

Thus, my thoughts are swayed by ink patterns on a piece of plastic backed with removable adhesives.

Miranda and Angelique have slimmed their figures.

Melissa is tutoring.

And I, at 50, am trying to find a place in the world where I can sit back, letting the next generation figure out what to do with our species’ place in the universe.

I have decided not to vote in the next nor any following election that my political districts have available to me.

No longer do I care about political issues that may or may not affect/effect my existence as a node in a social network.

Public/social medical funding doesn’t matter to me.

Public military project funding doesn’t matter to me.

Oil/gas/coal extraction doesn’t matter to me.

Environmental caretaking doesn’t matter to me.

Political office seekers do not matter to me.

From my years of experience, nothing in politics matters to me.

The issues that concern me are outside the influence of politics.

The freedom to enjoy my freedoms is mine to call what I want, free from the wants/needs/pleas of others.

I cared about the environment because my grandmother was such a strong believer in flower arranging and the Federated Garden Clubs.  She’s dead so I no longer have to pretend to care about flowers, flora, fauna or environmental issues of any kind.  If my drinking water is polluted and I die younger than I might have otherwise, so be it.

I cared about the military and spy books/movies because my father and my father’s [nonbiological] father, as well as my seventh great-grandfather, served and supported the military.  My sister’s husband still actively serves in the military and my wife works for a military government contractor so my level of noncaring is lifted just above zero for their sake.  Otherwise…zip.

I drive/ride in motorised vehicles and use electricity at home (I wouldn’t be here without it) so, despite my nonplussed attitude, I support, through marketplace activities, the oil/gas/coal/hydroelectric/solar/wind/geothermal industries.  Otherwise…nicht.

My deceased brother in-law worked for NASA as a physicist so I supported space exploration for his sake.  As the pain of his early death passes from my current emotional state, my support of space exploration wanes.

These are the steps I take to free myself from the influences of my youth and the influences of the youth of those who’ve gone on before me.

I/you can see that as long as I participate in our market/economy, I physically support activities that I disagree with philosophically (or for which I’ve stopped supporting mentally).

Compromises are a regular part of who I have been and continue to be.

My death is mere decades away — let me enjoy my remaining days without interference from those with whom I no longer agree or align.

If you have a cause célèbre to advertise, feel free to pursue in front of someone else’s face — I am not interested.

I have heard enough of my species that I am happy talking to myself here day after day, sometimes imagining these stories are written for the raccoons in the attic, the squirrels chewing on the side of the house or the spiders in the front seat of my car, even if they’ll never understand a blog entry I’ve written.

My mother’s motto, if she has consciously thought of one, has always been along the lines of “Don’t do anything that’ll make the neighbours talk about you.”

My father is dead but my mother is still alive.  It is time to give attention to her unofficial motto.

Let me find some quiet place where I can read a book, watch TV, surf the ‘Net and relax here in obscurity.

I first voted in 1980.  The last time I ever voted was in 2010.

Happiness is being happy with myself in this moment.

Happiness is an imaginary set of thoughts.

I am happy; thus, I am a figment of my imagination, a physical fact, a fragment of this corner/center of the universe.

Just like labels on a piece of plastic plastered to a plastic bumper.

13,772 days to go, give or take in the give-and-take of a tree bending with the wind, its roots slowly dying.

Double Sided Sales Slip Customer Copy

A couple of kids protesting in a church on the other side of the planet taught me that if you want to play with fire, be prepared for the consequences.

A musician who’s part of a corporatised musical group playing officially-sanctioned anti-corporate lyrics taught me that hypocrisy knows no cultural bounds.

You see, I’m all about the power of the people.

But keep in mind that my goal is to move the wealth of many thousands of millionaires and billionaires out of reach of the people.

The “people,” of course, is a meaningless term that can be used positively or derogatorily: “We the people…” or “you people,” and its many forms used to provoke crowds in time for [re]election.

The people get used a lot, don’t they/we?

Keep people distracted while we prepare…

Well, I’m not supposed to tell you what’s being prepared, am I, if I am to maintain this storyline?

Let’s imagine a few possible futures:

  1. It’s clear that changing the habits of billions of people to save themselves from themselves is not going to happen when so much profit is at stake, including just good enough profit to feed the mouths of billions of people.  If you had the opportunity, would you set up a location for your friends and family that is safe from invasion by non-heavily armed people and sufficient to provide you a livable subculture/ecosystem while the rest of the world was experiencing major/negative climate change?
  2. You have great wealth at your disposal and you believe that the global economy is your friend so you spend your billions of dollars trying to improve local economies which, in turn, improve the global economy, increasing not only your chance for survival but the whole world’s, too.
  3. You and your friends in private and public businesses have been testing the theory that living off-world is a sure way to hedge your bets about Earth’s climate change and any detrimental effects it may have on your way of life.  You encourage the use of public funds to affirm your theory while you amass the resources you need to build off-world colonies.
  4. Your family has lived in relative poverty for generations.  You have competed against your peers and created a small empire — it’s time to enjoy the fruits of your labour, cost no object in pursuing a life of luxury.
  5. Your family has lived in the peace and comfort of middle-class living for generations — no reason for you to change the course of history.
  6. Poverty means nothing in your subsistence lifestyle.  Words like “blog” and “computer” do not exist in your language full of nature-based terminology.

All of us are familiar with these scenarios, through personal experience, from someone we know or by popular culture references.

In telling the story of our species in relation to the humongous universe in which we barely understand we live, tying these subplots together is interesting some days and boring on other days.

However, it’s all I have to work with here.

Like going from static cartoon strips to creating animated daily cartoons in writing, if not drawing.

Protestors with machetes will most often lose to security guards with guns, who will always, always, always claim self-defense after discharging their weapons and killing protestors.

My question is this: if the commander in-chief claims credit for killing a notorious villain, does he also take credit for the most number of military suicides of any commander in-chief during his time in office?  If your military has some of the lowest morale on record, then I, in honouring my father’s legacy, have to ask myself why anyone with a military background would vote for you?  Following that train of thought, how many of us benefit from one of the largest peacetime (sorry, I mean “war on terror”) military deployments in history — should we also question re-electing the commander in-chief?  In this case, the Law of Unintended Consequences meets the Law of Diminishing Returns.  What am I missing here?  What am I not telling the reader?  I am not my father so why is there not a viable third candidate for me to elect?

Ahh…the balance of power.  ‘Tis a game that entertains, n’est pas?  Sarkozy and Berlusconi quickly become footnotes in history.  Merkel, like Kohl, is not far behind.  Anyone remember Mikhail Gorbachev or Deng Xiaoping?  Did Greece used to be a country?

It will be no different on the Moon or Mars.  More pioneers, more forgotten history as we scramble to feed, clothe and shelter ourselves from the elements while armchair bystanders question our motives and protest our version of progress that clashes with theirs.

Remember the Golden Rule: S/he with the most power protecting a stash of gold makes the rules.

Do Corporations Feel Pain?

During my status as a member of the corporate world, I observed behaviours that are grouped under the heading, ETHICS (imagine big echo in a cavernous chamber: ethics-ics-ics-ics…).

During my status as a person contemplating the universe from the comforts of a cabin in a suburban forest, ethics have become meaningless.

Banks feel no pain when they pay fines for bad ethical behaviour.

Same for monoculture crop dominating corporations when they allow food prices to escalate due to poor seed/crop/farm management practices.

We know that being a politician is a life of questionable ethics to begin with.

These — all of the statements above — are meaningless statements in the ever-evolving global economy.

People of marginal moral behaviour are acting to stay ahead of societal/cultural curbs on borderline criminal activity.

What are ethics?  I do not know but I can guess.

Is it my duty to require those around me to conform to a specific set of characteristics in order to interact with me?

If a corporation is not a person and cannot feel pain (or any emotion tied to our species), how can I train, educate, convince or coerce the corporation to put my species first and profit second?

The people who run and/or work for corporations are responsible for the activities of the corporation.  They may convince themselves that phrases like “code of ethics” and “corporate citizen” protect themselves in the name of the corporation.

We may convince ourselves that the marketplace regulates corporate behaviour, if corporate citizens do not or government agencies cannot, due to lack of jurisdictional authority, for example.

While observing life on another planetary body, I laugh at the ways we’ve convinced ourselves we are an advanced civilisation because we’ve found/reinvented new methods to teach each other to conform to so-called standards of behaviour in the form of ethics and morals.

We are puppies chasing our tails, going ’round in circles, too dizzy to see what’s really going on in our quest to perpetuate the species.

When I run out of things to do on this planet but there’s no easy way to leave, what’s next to occupy my time?

Observing our behaviour in order to impress my father is no longer an option for me, personally.

This transition in my life is hard to describe in a blog entry without resorting to childish habits of lashing out in pain and anger.

Instead, I sleep long stretches of the day, not worrying about whether I wake up, happy to see sunshine, rain, clouds, heat and cold in equal measure.

To see the past, present and future as one has taken me to this point.

We live in one galaxy — there are thousands, millions, billions more galaxies to imagine how semi-autonomous beings like ourselves live.

We can imagine that other beings are more advanced than we and have solved (or not solved) ecological resource allocation issues, assuming a level of behaviour we call intelligence.

Every part/activity of the universe may be said to have had its moment to exist in a unique condition — hydrogen, helium, water, fission, igneous, comet, cupid, tree.

My life, no matter how long, is the briefest of time.

I exist in comparison to everything else that is distinct from the stimulus/response barrier that separates me in the moment from the rest of the universe.

I cannot see my breath.  I cannot see my skin cells dying.  I do not see the change in my brain’s set of neuronal pathways.

“I” is a limited observational machine, neither omniscient nor omnipresent.

Therefore, I do not know everything even if I can assemble a team of people and a large set of resources to compute probable futures based on possible pasts.

Words that are meaningless today: I, corporation, morals, ethics, time.

Without meaning, pain does not exist.

Without pain, we do not exist.

Existence is a made-up word.

The illusion of this blog entry ends now

New university study

According to the University for the Study of University Studies**, a compilation of studies on the investigation into the root causes of paedophilia has demonstrated that there is an indirect correlation between those who believe in and practice polygamy* and those who practice paedophilia.

When reached for comment, the academician in charge, who requested anonymity after receiving threats from people around the world who actively practice polygamy, said, “We can either legitimise and institutionalise polygamy, giving full rights and recognition to those who wish to mate with young women as soon as they reach puberty, or we can continue to find adults confessing they were abused as children by closet polygamists.  Either way, it appears to be not so much an individual mental problem, but a natural progression of a species that has refined social interaction into what cultural anthropologists currently call civilisation.”

To validate the study, the academician recommended hypnotising those accused of paedophilia, such as the Penn State assistant football coach, Jerry Sandusky, as well as those who assist in covering up paedophilia activities, such as Catholic priests and others up the Vatican’s chain of command, to reach their subconscious thoughts and see if they secretly believe in polygamy.

The release of this study has sent shockwaves throughout the community of “true believers” of the Mormon faith as well as orthodox Muslims.  Producers for the TV shows, “The Bachelor,” “The Bachelorette,” and “The Jerry Springer Show,” were not surprised.

Salman Rushdie refused to respond to requests for information regarding a book he is reported to have penned about this very subject years ago but never published.

*Note: there is a small, but not insignificant number of those who believe in and practice polyandry.  The same comments about polygamy above also apply to polyandry, according to footnotes in the university study.

**Due to a concern for their safety, the administration, faculty and staff of the online university that produced this study have also asked for their names and the name of the university to be withheld from this news article, pending approval of their acceptance into the Federal Witness Protection Program.

How green is a protest vote?

Even the smallest political party vote can make a difference in your jurisdiction?

Just ask Dr. Stein, who walks in the shadow of Ralph Nader.

In east Tennessee, where I grew up, there’s a strong “We Back Coal” coalition, containing both Democratic and Republican believers, that opposes the energy policies of the current presidential administration, as touched on by the The Economist here.

Alas, ’tis more entertainment news, is it not?

On the street, where shoe sole meets pavement, the soul of politics is not as important as getting along while we compete, setting one high-energy developer/entrepreneur’s idea against another, in order to feed, clothe and entertain ourselves and our families.

Where we place the thoughts we call faith and belief is a personal matter.

How we act on those beliefs is a social matter.

Where the personal and social matters clash is what makes storytellers like me get up in the morning.

Speaking of which, I’m back in charge of the Committee.  The previous leader did not work out, putting personal priorities ahead of the Committee’s.  You need not ask what happened to that person — use your imagination.  You wouldn’t want us to kill you just because you wanted to find out, would you?

Call me the Semi-Retired Wandering Wonderer, the wanderer who wonders without a wand as he is wont to do without warts or wind at his back on a whim where he went when he won, the wunderkind.

The Menace From Beyond The Grave Situation

While we set our supercomputers to analyse processes that heat our CPUs surreptitiously, we give you another list of books added recently to our old-fashioned library of paper-and-ink products:

  • Facts on Aviation For The Future Flyers Of Tennessee, (c) 1944 Tennessee Bureau of Aeronautics, Nashville, Tennessee
  • Submarine! The Story of Undersea Fighters, by Kendall Banning, illustrated by Charles Rosner, (c) 1942 by Artists and Writers Guild, Inc., printed in the United States of America
  • The First Book of Moses called Genesis, translated out of the original Hebrew and with the former translations currently compared and revised, set forth in 1911 and commonly known as the King James version, pocket edition by American Bible Society (instituted in the year 1816), New York
  • Stamp collecting book by Richard Hill, Sunset Trail, Knoxville 18, Tennessee, manufactured by U.S. Government Printing Office
  • History of America, by Carl Russell Fish, Professor of American History, University of Wisconsin, illustrations by Leon D’Emo and Will Crawford, (c) 1925, 1928 by American Book Company, Made in U.S.A., owned by Ralph Eldridge, Knoxville Central High School senior 1932
  • The Kingsport Strike, by Sylvester Petro, (c) January 1967, Arlington House, New Rochelle, NY
  • International Atlas and Gazetteer of the World, containing a new and complete Descriptive Gazetteer of the Principal Countries of the World together with a complete collection of up-to-date Political Maps of the World, Statististical [sic] Tables, Census Figures, Air Line Distances, etc., (c) 1935 by C.S. Hammond & Co., Inc., Map Engravers, Printers and Publishers since 1900

Meanwhile, our staff in the Department of Dastardly Deeds has developed a potential storyline for us to follow:

By experimenting with chemical formulae, scientists have perfected the ideal poison letter.  Soon, they will infiltrate the labs of laser printer cartridge manufacturers, change the ingredients of the cartridge contents and release the newest formula into the homes, factories, offices, Internet cafes, construction trailers and libraries of the world.

Then, when the time is right, they will activate the signal that tells the cartridges to print a special circuit on paper.

The circuit, combined with the special ink that, after being heated and fused to the paper, uses the release of heat as the paper cools to send a strong enough “charge” to a blob of ink in one corner of the paper to achieve a minor goal of the Department of Dastardly Deeds.

The scientists have asked us not to reveal their goal at this time.

We won’t, because we have to figure out if their goal aligns with our major milestones before we decide to increase or eliminate their department budget.

While that’s going on, we’ll let you know that the brain circuit reconfiguration we’re testing on Jesse Jackson, Jr., may work this time.  We have tried similar experiments on other members in the public eye (refrain from referring to our previous work as “lobotomy,” electroshock treatment, drug cocktail service, etc.), in order to keep them in line with our milestones.

Those who haven’t stayed on message have been moved aside (again, refrain from referring to our previous work as  “failing the newspaper test,” “assassination,” “drug overdose,” suicide, not seeking reelection, retiring unexpectedly, etc.).

Managing a planet is distracting, we admit, but, on days when we’re bored, it provides an entertaining respite from looking back at this time period 1000 years in the future while trying to live a fulfilling life 1000 years from now, too.

A Tool of the O’Tooles, the Toolmaker’s Tool, a Telling Toll of Tall Tales

Have you ever seen your influence upon another and wondered why the brief moment in which you created a character — Peter O’Toole’s Lawrence of Arabia, for instance, “Father of the Sponge” (‘Ab al-‘Isfanjah” (أب الإسفنجة)) — had longer-lasting impact on others than on yourself, a wayward drunk or a drunkard on his way up?

Are local musical acts, such as Mandolin Orange and Snake Oil Medicine Show, more interesting to you than overhyped international pop stars?

Do you find yourself typing the wrong word, “that” instead of “than,” frequently?  Can you trace that habit to your first typing lessons, formal rather than self-taught?

In the transition from one storyline to another, the Committee’s influence changes drastically.

Are you prepared for the change in the influence upon you?

Can you separate fact from fiction, reality from fantasy, storytelling from history?

Let us return to this time period, where our species’ influence upon itself garners the most attention…

History a few thousand or a few million years from now has plenty of time to tell its own story!