Tag Archives: medicine
Iff..
Iff my friends in the business can take care of Dr. Drew, I’d appreciate the effort.
As my blog fades into obscurity…
[Thoughts after watching the movie “Robot and Frank,” which portrays a depressing image of my future?]
As my blog fades into obscurity, I go back over the sensations in me right now…
…the emptiness…
…the muscles and tendons shivering…
…the joints aching…
…looking at a clock which indicates 13,593 days until whatever I want to say is supposed to happen in that 24-hour period…
…glad I am happy being me, observing and reporting in an online diary the same way I have talked to myself since I was at least five years old…
…retiring at age 45, ready for my life to end at any moment, no more mountains to climb, or impossible dreams to make real.
I am a tired, old man, weary of the ways of our species, always left with just me to entertain myself in my thoughts at the end of every day.
If the universe is supposed to be a projection of my thoughts, then I can close down this movie theatre of my mind and say the show has run its course.
My desire for social engagement is limited by the boredom that quickly seeps into hearing yet another combination of people talking about their lives that I have experienced or heard in one form or another for over 50 years.
Why live any longer and watch my mind disappear, my body decay and my life at the mercy of professional caretakers, human and/or robot, who we can plug into each other’s lives as needed in socioeconomic interchange because our wealth, not our thoughts, define us?
If I’m merely the combination of trillions of cells, sets of states of energy in synergistic, symbiotic relationships temporarily, how do I let go of the “I” and disperse these states of energy into other sets and combinations?
If we can legalize abortion, then by extension we should legalize murder and suicide, should we not, because there’s nothing sacred about life anymore, is there, the wonders of the universe fading into the simple facts of rational scientific methods and erasable memories?
I am tired of participating in the competitive marketplace of ideas, tired of finding no one who agrees with my thought patterns, tired of being tired, tired of being tired of being tired, and ready to close this blog except I’ve pretty well memorized its location as a globally-accessible online diary I can get to just about anywhere so I might as well keep writing here in obscurity.
Out of obscurity and back in again — the definition of life?
Bound and determined
Growing up in the ‘burbs, I knew from friends whose parents were pill poppers.
Birth control, antidepressants, antipsychotics, tranquilizers, you name it, kids would search their homes looking for all sorts of things including Christmas presents but also nefarious objects like cigarettes and yes…gasp! condoms.
Curiosity killed the cat. It also supplied kids with free supplies of goodies, turning whole neighborhoods into collective pharmacies.
The “dark side” of modern civilisation?
Perhaps.
So it is we are brought forward into the world of cinema, the latest flick, Side Effects, questioning the definition of reality, whether due to drug side effects or mental gymnastics.
You can see for yourself, or read this prereview that reveals a little.
A contemporaneous event ties together the suspension of reality in film and the suspended colloidalism of reality — the continuing saga of Ashleigh Brilliant, chronicled by the man himself:
Wits End
Dear Friends,February 1, 2013. Greetings from the Loony Bin (or, if you prefer, the Booby Hatch.) You may remember my telling you that I was once (at the age of 20) a (voluntary) patient in a mental hospital for several weeks. Since then I’ve been happily able to stay clear of such resorts — until today, when I find myself, at the age of 79, once again (and I must emphasize, again voluntarily) a guest in one. The big, and to me very interesting, difference is that the first time, back in 1954, my problem was feeling too good — what the psychiatrists call being “manic.” I was in such an elated state that I couldn’t go on with my normal life as a college student, but wanted to talk all the time, in a way that was very unusual for me. This and other bizarre behaviors and feelings eventually made me realize that I needed help.
Now, however, the shoe is on the other psychiatric foot. Instead of being too happy, I have been abysmally depressed, and anxious, to the embarrassing point of really not wanting to go on living. As before, I know this is not normal, even for someone of my age, especially for a person in good physical shape, as I have kept myself, after making a good recovery from a serious accident two years ago.
But what’s REALLY interesting is that, despite the lapse of time, and despite the fact that I have never had even a second “manic” episode in my whole life, (though I have had many experiences of depression) that one single manic episode qualifies me as being “BI-POLAR” (and hence a victim of “bi-polar disorder”) with all the rights and privileges pertaiining thereto. I am still finding out just what these are, because it was only last night that I accepted the label, although my psychiatrist had been trying to pin it on me for months.
What made the difference was my following his suggestion to look it up for myself. And sure enough, if you type in “single manic episode,” you get a whole raft of references to bi-polar disorder, even if the single episode was years and years ago.
So this is all very new stuff to me, and so is the facility in which I now find myself — a sort of semi-secret closely-secured section of our main Santa Barbara Cottage Hospital. The unit itself, obviously not wishing to carry the stigma of a “Psycho Ward” is generally referred to simply as “5-E.”
I am still learning the ropes here — to say which, in this context, is an unforgivable faux pas, because ropes of any kind, together with a whole long list of other possibly helpful items to a would-be suicide, are strictly taboo in these precincts–and even the rooms are designed to provide minimal leverage or support for such attempts. For example, there are no hooks, towel-racks, or exposed piping.
But apart from making it harder to kill yourself while they have you here, what can they actually do for you? In my case, the main hope seems to be to find the pill or pills which will give me good sleep in the night, and a less miserable day to follow.
February 5, 2013. It’s now 4 days later, and I’m glad to say I’ve already been discharged from the Hospital. The answer in my case seems to have been a combination of 2 drugs, a “tranquillizer” called ATIVAN and a “mood-stabilizer” called LAMICTAL. They’ve been working fine so far — much better than any of my pre-5-E meds, and with any luck, I hope they will keep me from making any further forays into the Polar zones — though I still hate to admit that mere chemicals can have such crucial effects on how we think and feel.
In any case, we are all now happily out of January, which for me (and perhaps for many of you) has always been the most difficult month of the year.
All the best,
Ashleigh Brilliant——————————————————————————
ASHLEIGH BRILLIANT, 117 W. Valerio St. Santa Barbara CA 93101 USA. Phone (805) 682-0531 Orders:(800) 952-3879, Code #77. Creator of POT-SHOTS, syndicated author of I MAY NOT BE TOTALLY PERFECT, BUT PARTS OF ME ARE EXCELLENT. 10,000 copyrighted BRILLIANT THOUGHTS available as cards, books etc.World’s highest-paid writer (per word). Most-quoted author (per Reader’s Digest.) Free daily Pot-Shot cartoon: http://www.ashleighbrilliant.com CATALOGS:[h&m included]. Starter $2. Complete Printed Text version: $75. Electronic Text-Only (emailed $25, on CD $30). Electronic Illustrated Catalog/Database (CD only) $105 (includes shipping anywhere). Details: http://www.ashleighbrilliant.com/IllustratedCatalog.html
One more for the road
Looks like I’ve a few errands to complete this afternoon.
Here’s your million-dollar bionic man epic tale for the day.
Odd stat
According to our global product marketplace tracking system, there has been an odd surge in the sales of deer antler spray over the last few hours, beating out the “Haight-Ashbury/Maui Wowee” specials that usually sell so well on late Sunday evenings.
More as it develops…
A shoutout to our friends near Tulane University — you know what we’re talking about.
Thanks to Publix; Walmart; Hardee’s; Another Broken Egg; Wagon Wheel Liquors.
In the not too-distant future…
It doesn’t seem that long ago, does it?
Now, though, there’s more than one settlement, with new owners coming in, redesigning the old housing units to look familiarly like ancestral homes on planet Earth.
Used to be we thought we’d start over.
Not anymore.
The humans have generally congregated into one or settlements while the exploration bots keep spreading across the planet, no need of houses or other reminders of a life they neither remember nor need to carry on for the sake of descendants.
We are one group, one “people,” but our requirements for stimulating sensory organs vastly different than algorithms designed to process sensor array input.
I am a farmer for us, making sure we have the energy sources for our various sets of states of energy.
This is my story.
I live in a small hut at the end of the hydroponic growth chambers.
I provide food and nourishment for those amongst us who eat through their mouths or mouth equivalents.
I also maintain a miniature factory that cranks out spare body parts for our robotic friends.
The medical staff handles the surgical procedures like replacing body parts for our biological friends, however much I’ve protested that I can easily handle those duties, having built a robotic surgeon from parts I manufactured myself, downloading new algorithms from my Earth-based social network of farmers, ranchers and DIYers who delve into self-sufficiency and other survivalist tactics appropriate to solar system explorers like myself.
As a farmer, my secondary duty is analysing soil samples to determine which chemical reactions I need to conquer in order to convert Martian soil into edible foodstuff palatable by crew members with a variety of tastes and preferences.
In other words, I’m an ecosystem expert, creating microorganisms from scratch that efficiently perform the soil conversions for me so I can concentrate on my main duties that feel like I have to pull a rabbit out of a hat or worse, water out of thin air.
Water, water, water.
Solar energy, though weaker on Mars than on Earth, is abundant, which makes water production easier than we first thought.
But, problems crop up all the time.
Most of us may be rational scientists and engineers but that doesn’t mean we’re always careful about conserving water.
We can talk about that later.
Lee is coming over to review my plans for tightly-regulated metabolism control which, I believe, will greatly reduce our dependence on water.
Designing microorganisms has given me insight into the mechanisms of the human body that we were just beginning to understand when we assigned humans a decade ago to train for this mission.
If only we knew then what I know now!
Redesigning a human from the inside out is my ultimate goal and will make our Mars settlements grow like weeds, if my calculations are correct (a quick shoutout to my buddies back home who let me borrow their supercomputers).
Will Lee allocate the supplies I need?
Here’s Lee. Talk to you again soon.
Between here and fraternity
Am I any better today than I would have been had I no simultaneous access to notebook PC with second monitor and Internet connection, portable phone connected landline with Caller ID, and mobile smartphone with Internet connection and variety of apps?
These devices feed my brain’s wiring more than the rest of my body — I can’t eat the phone(s) or computer very easily and wouldn’t get much nutrition if I could.
These devices help generate income for myself and those with whom I communicate.
Income, or labour/investment credit, buys us opportunities.
Now that we have virtual communities with virtual money, what do we do with our virtual opportunities?
The perpetrators and victims of cyberwar don’t care about gender or sexual preference.
This notebook PC doesn’t know if I’m a cybernetic organism typing on the keyboard.
As always, the tree outside has no idea what any of this means, breathing in the air and soaking up the nutrients that we share with it in our planetary ecosystem.
If a bunch of people sat together with robots and remotely operated mining gear on this planet, the Moon, Mars or an asteroid, how do we profit?
What is the value of friendship between us, in other words?
How much material on the International Space Station is never used?
How much material on a remote mining outpost is no longer usable?
Hundreds of millions, billions, of dollars represent the investment in space probes that no longer work on the surface of the Moon and Mars.
A single drop of an astronaut’s urine has intrinsic value, does it not, its investment in research, development, training, maintenance and nutrition worth more than its weight in gold?
What is a single drop of your blood worth to society?
What is it worth to you?
Tribute to a former neighbour
The neighbour down the hill from my parents’ property, Mr. Greer, stood between me and my junior high school.
He was the kind of neighbour we want — solid, upstanding citizens who care for and tend their house and grounds.
Except when you’re a kid who wants to take a shortcut to get home from school.
Mr. Greer mowed his lawn twice a week and kept twigs/sticks to a minimum, desiring little in the way of rambunctious boys trotting through his manicured grass.
I mowed all the lawns around his — the lady next-door who was elderly and enjoyed fixing cold glasses of tea/lemonade for me after I mowed; the busy father of three infants who was willing to pay the local lawnboy for basic mowing but expected grass raking and bush trimming for free; my parents who insisted that a low payment for mowing our lawn was an incentive to find other work to pay for my hobbies.
I never knew Mr. Greer personally, except with the shouts of “Hey, didn’t I ask you not to walk down my driveway?,” “Next time you mow along my property line, be sure you get the grass clippings you shot over into my yard,” or “While you’re raking the leaves of the tree in your yard, you can rake the ones that fell on my property, too, if you don’t mind.”
He was just that guy we kids talked about or made up stories to fill in blanks of a mysterious personality.
The older he got, the less he talked to my parents when they were working in the vegetable garden while he was picking up magnolia tree seedpods a few feet from them.
Good fences make good neighbours — so does the silence of respecting each other’s privacy when suburban backyards abut but do not hide meditative moments alone with our thoughts and our therapeutic yardwork.
This morning, my mother informed me that Mr. Greer had died.
She pointed out a few interesting biographical details of his obituary worth mentioning here:
[Mr. Greer] was raised in Dayton, TN. He was a young child when the Scopes Monkey Trial took place in Dayton. Part of the trial was held outside and he could vividly remember the big wooden stand outside the courthouse window.
During the Depression, Howard moved with his mom, dad and sister to Kingsport where his dad ran a lunch counter in downtown Kingsport.
In the Fall of 1941, Howard went to work in the Tenite Division of Eastman Kodak. After the bombing of Pearl Harbor on December 7, 1941, young men in Kingsport were required to sign up for the draft and Howard received his draft notice in the mail August 1, 1942. After basic training, he discovered he would be a US Army Air Corp instructor on a teletype machine – a machine two months previously he barely knew existed. After the war ended, Howard used the GI Bill and took Eastman’s apprenticeship program in Industrial Instruments. He later worked for Dr. Bill Kennedy in the Research Division and completed his career with many years service in the Engineering Division.
He is survived by his wife of nearly 70 years…
Mr. Greer, thanks for being a great neighbour to my parents all these years. May others proudly follow in your footsteps!
Scott McCloud, eat your heart out
As I return to the quiet suburban woodlands to gaze at my navel orange slowly shrinking on the sunny windowsill, I practice my doodling, animating the sketches on the fly.
My first creation, after reading through the IDRAWCOMICS reference guide:
THE AQUATIC LEAPING BUBBLE BOY!!!
Hatched in our subbasement laboratory, the Aquatic Leaping Bubble Boy is allowed to see the light of day.
Meanwhile, after consulting with my trusty sidekick, Guinevere, who has moved on to the Martian colonies in order to let more of our creations enjoy the open air and low gravity for which they were genetically modified and bred, I will see what the next sidekick has in store for our Creative Futures Department.
































