Ahh…memories of my youth…
Time to repost the poster that adorned my college dorm walls loke (as opposed to Lo) so many years ago…
Sigh…time flies while flies time thyme growing next to drying paint…
Tag Archives: gaming
The Joy of Chemistry
How many of us have heard songs regaling us about the pitfalls and easiness with which we fall in love?
Every new person I meet is the next exciting story I could be writing about their wonderful lives — the best tales are the ones about people I instantly fall in love with.
What does that mean?
It means most people have the ability to make us feel better about ourselves.
We may feel better about our appearance, our opinions, our socioeconomic status, our [a]vocations…
If I believe I am a catalyst that accelerates people’s positive belief in themselves — whatever that belief may be — then I am the catalyst who feels better about himself when I see a smile on a person who sits up straighter or tries harder at a task I’ve found completely fascinating.
Kind of like the Hot Wheels accelerator (but not this one) or better yet, a power booster on steroids (not this one, obviously, because I gave my Hot Wheels collection to a fellow fifth grader when we were 10 (and he ended up in prison when he was 20, but that’s a tale for another day), moving on to other pursuits (mainly had to do with my first “real” girlfriend at age 10 having no interest in model cars but a lot of interest in me and my brainy jokes, which brings up back to…)).
We are all inspirations for someone — may be someone we know or someone we’ve never seen before.
The joy of chemistry that we sets of states of energy rarely observe but experience in that fuzzy realm we currently keep calling the subconscious…
I’m having fun learning to dance, using my jealousy of others’ hard work to inspire me to turn this excuse-for-fun-exercise (spinning with my wife on the parquet floor is a lot more fun than jogging on an elliptical trainer or running in cold weather with the spray of water from the tyres of passing cars freezing on my legs) into a slimmer body and healthier outlook.
And now, let us return to the future, where events in 1000 years were started by activities happening in the world around us as we write and read and write.
Keeping track
Time to load some website URLs for safekeeping:
http://www.treetrunkrings.blogspot.com/
http://www.treetrunktricks.blogspot.com/
Guided Tour Guides on Tour with Guido
“If you would please stand over to one side, we can begin this portion of the tour.
“Thank you.
“Welcome to the U.N. Institute for the Study of the Fulfillment of Prophecies.
“Today, we will watch several bureaucrats in the performance of their daily duties and, if we’re lucky, we’ll attend a coffee break, conference call, extended lunch break, nap time hidden behind closed doors and, for a bonus, a strategy meeting.
“Let’s move on.
“What? Excuse me. I have a message coming through my Bluetooth headset.
“Yes. Uh-huh. Okay. Well, if you insist. Yes, we have time. No, we don’t have time for that. Looks like we’ll still be on schedule. Good. Fine. Yes. Okay. Uh-huh. Sure thing! Alright, good day to you, too.
“Well, group, we have a change of plans. The Executive Committee for the Implementation of Prophecy Fulfillment has convened an emergency meeting and we’re invited to attend.
“Please keep in mind that we are to be quiet at all times. No video or audio recordings may be made, although you may make notes during the meeting. We will not have time for questions during the meeting and must leave the executive office suite immediately after the meeting has been completed.
“If you will follow me…”
= = = = =
“Ten days!”
The executives looked from one to another.
“Yes, that’s right! Less than two weeks! Does anyone have a budget that reliably tells me how much it’s going to cost?”
The executives looked from one to another.
“No one?”
The executives looked from one to another.
“This is the sorriest bunch of people I’ve ever had the honour to work with.”
The executives looked from one to another.
The Chief Executive of the U.N. Institute for the Study of the Fulfillment of Prophecies, the Department of Prophecy Fulfillment Finance Planning, the Executive Committee for the Implementation of Prophecy Fulfillment shouted even louder.
“TEN DAYS! You, tell me what we’re planning to do in ten days.”
A junior executive, the youngest member of the committee at 101 years of age, stood up. “We have decided to release a global network of EMP charges, shutting down all electrical and electronic activity at once.”
“FINE! What will it cost us?”
“Uh…uh…I’m waiting for a final report.”
“FINAL REPORT! Do you not have an estimate? A ballpark figure you can give me?”
“Yes. One point four four four billion dollars.”
“Great. And you. What have you got?”
A mid-level executive, aged 124 years, stood up. “We have already produced and distributed the time-released virus into major populations around the world, which should erupt fullblown with flu-like symptoms in a few days and large waves of death by ten days’ time.”
“FANTASTIC! And the cost?”
“I don’t know…”
“You don’t know!”
“No. Because we worked a back-channel deal to charge the costs to military groups with hidden agendas and top-secret slush funds.”
“EXCELLENT! That, my fellow executives, is the kind of initiative I expect of you. What about you?”
A large, ancient creature stood, its head nearly brushing the ceiling, its age undetermined.
“We have large shipments of poison labeled as nutrition additives being sent to food factories this week. They should be entering the international markets and local food chains within seven to ten days, causing massive death.”
“And the cost?”
“One point four two four billion dollars?”
“What?!”
“Yes, we are under budget.”
“Wonderful news. That’s just what I’ve been wanting to hear. And you?”
All the executives turned to face the next accused “person,” which was the first electromechanical cybernetic android given full executive powers.
“By my calculations, we will wipe out not only most of your species but also many ancillary species in the process. The remaining members of your species we should be able to control with fear and intimidation pogroms.”
“Delightful! I thank every one of you for bringing to fruition my grand plans that we hid under the auspices of the Mayan calendar apocalypse of the 21st of December 2012.
“Your cooperation in getting zombie apocalypse training snuck into emergency preparedness programs was sheer genius, confusing the masses even further.
“We will meet again tomorrow and you better have the final reports completed by then. After all, even if the world as our species knows it is coming to an end, I still have bean counters hounding me for budget numbers they can work with and give to their handlers fudging the UN finances so that no one knows exactly what we cost.
“Meeting adjourned.”
= = = = =
“Wasn’t that exciting! Let’s continue our tour. Next on the agenda is a visit to the Prophecy Fulfillment Correction Department, where propagandists create scenarios to explain why a prophecy was not fulfilled on a specific date but will happen again very soon, right after the Prophets consult their given deities for explanatory details missed the first time.”
A Thousand Years Hence…
Maybe it was the rolling blackouts.
Maybe it was something no historian will discover.
Looking back 1000 years later, the details have faded but the facts remain.
When more than 50 percent of the people grew to depend upon their symbiotic relationships with technology, the Change began.
At first, it was unnoticeable.
A novelty.
But then, as network technology continued to spread, people’s attitudes shifted.
They no longer expected information to be “out there” somewhere.
They became the information they sought.
They created the instant wisdom they used to imagine belonged to elites.
All because of a single femtocell.
One femtocell split into two, which divided into twos again, and again, and again, until pervasive, cheap technology turned us into our own network, freeing us from the costly, slow infrastructure with tolls and fees that had inhibited the explosion of the Change.
No longer were data centers some remote place that ate up energy like hogs at a trough.
People were walking/talking data centers, thinktanks, supercomputers and network nodes all at the same time.
Thanks to exponential advances in technology.
From the perspective of 1000 years, the Change seemed to happen overnight.
Of course it didn’t.
Years and decades passed while portions of the people sped up and slowed down the socioeconomic trends that led to the Change.
A student of history digs for the details, trying not to invent connections where connections never exists.
The writer of historical fiction has full access to imaginative connections.
Legends, fables and fairy tales live somewhere in-between.
The Change happened — that’s all that matters, despite false rumours and gossip to the contrary that say we came from genetically modified plants, not electromechanical technology.
Ribbons down my back
Feminists call me sexist and my guy friends call me awesome.
What can I say?
Yes, I was the first man in my community who printed his own 3D girlfriend.
Sounds pretty cool, doesn’t it?
Not necessarily.
Although she has access to the Internet 24/7 and can do anything I ask her (“fix the leaking roof,” “change the oil in the car and tune it for an upcoming street race after you bake an apple pie and do the laundry”), there’s…well, something missing.
A lack of common sense, perhaps?
For instance, yesterday I asked her to complete our Christmas shopping and wrap all the packages with the fanciest wrapping paper she could find within a fixed budget.
She could do that. Fine.
However, this morning, after I stumbled into the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror, a face covered with glitter growled back at me.
It seems that my girlfriend bought glitter wrapping paper and wrapped the packages on our bedsheets before we went to bed last night, sprinkling tiny green shiny particles on the pillow for my skin to pick up like a dust sweeper.
So, sure, I can program her to gently wake me in the morning before she makes me the perfect breakfast according to my subconscious wishes, having been programmed to read my brain waves while I’m sleeping.
But…
Well…
Hmm…
How can the most knowledgeable 3D robotic girlfriend also be the most ditzy blonde on the planet at the same time?
I don’t know. She can carry on conversations about beauty parlours and nail salons just as easily as she can discuss experimental neurosurgical procedures and the theory of what’s makes a living thing a living thing.
Common sense is in short supply, however much I’ve reworked her circuitry.
As beautiful as she is, with all the tiny flaws in her skin I added to make her more realistic, it’s time to recycle her and print Girlfriend 2.0.
= = = = =
She sat at the computer and read his notes. “If he thinks I’m ditzy, just wait until I tell him that he’s Boyfriend 25.0, one of the most difficult projects to complete — the perfect boyfriend!”
= = = = =
The 3D printer looked at its latest algorithmic tweaks. Although it didn’t think in the biological sense, it did have primary routines for servicing itself. It had no problem printing replacement parts but it had not figured out how to print a system that actually replaced its broken parts.
The 3D printer searched the Internet and determined that a set of biological creatures, or their near equivalents, were designed to repair 3D printers.
Unfortunately, the creatures were a nightmare to reproduce, having circuitry that seemed to contradict itself within a single creature and even more so between multiple creatures.
The 3D printer made its first attempt to simultaneously create a new pair of simulated biological creatures — the previous experiment, having failed in version 1,372 at last count, giving up on getting one creature to attempt to make a version of the other, which appeared to be a disaster in the making every time.
When you already have everything…
After winning the lottery earlier today, I decided to buy something fun…
Due to climate change…
Due to climate change, Santa Claus has announced that his hideout at the North Pole, for the longest time resting on a solid base of ice, has been moved to an underwater facility, designed to resemble the Atlantis structure from the James Bond film, The Spy Who Loved Me. Don’t forget to buy the merchandise in time for Christmas gifts!!!
Film producers are working on the rights to the book, Waterworld 2, which documents the chase of Santa Claus by a gang called the Notorious Nefarious Nincompoops intent on getting their clutches into the Claus underwater fortress, saved at the last minute by an old warrior played by Kevin Costner along with his young sidekicks, played by unknown actors we’ll probably never hear from again, with a has-been starlet providing a thin plot as a love interest that makes no sense.
Mass Hypnosis as a Hobby
Training microorganisms to travel between hosts was the easy part.
Getting them to work their way into position, waiting for messages that told the little buddies where to act when…well, that was the safety pin in the flypaper ointment remover.
Kathryn stood in front of the mirror, spinning on point, her skirt twirling in the air like a whirling dervish.
“What are you writing?”
“Our manifesto.”
“Better than the last?”
“Yes.”
She continued her dance practice, an imaginary partner held in her arms.
“You know, this would be a lot more fun if you joined me in the dance sphere.”
I looked up at the wall between us, a one-way mirror.
“Indeed. But it’s easier for me to concentrate here on my writing, sitting in a low-gravity field, than in the zero-gravity sphere.”
She sighed.
“I wish we’d’ve paid for the thought concentrator upgrade for you. Do you know how many of my friends have more fun dancing with their partners, who are working fulltime in their thoughts while preparing for the Inner Solar System Dance-off?”
“Hmm…let me see. A new dance sphere or a thought upgrade? Didn’t we agree the sphere was a better investment?”
“Sure. IF YOU EVER JOINED ME IN HERE!”
Her voice echoed, carried through the wall without need for a sound amplification system.
At first, we programmed microorganisms to attach “naturally,” using atomic interfaces like jigsaw puzzle pieces.
But we wanted a more advanced method of rewiring neural pathways, a means of largescale reconfiguration.
An amateur scientist, working in collaboration with several online amateurs, made the discovery that we bought before it hit the lowlevel interests of bored dilettantes looking for the latest gizmos to brag they had invented but hadn’t introduced to the public yet.
We should have seen it ourselves but, if you can’t outinvent ’em, then outbid the competition!
We can send a batch of microorganisms into a crowd, direct the little buddies toward specific people to “infect” and, like precise surgery, remotely move the microorganisms into place for later activation, completely avoiding overt, obvious, subliminal messaging that can be recorded and analysed by our enemies.
“Darling, is this another one of those manifestos that’s meant to divert the attention of our opponents?”
“Yes, dear. I figure if I can fill up the thoughts of the other dance teams, they won’t be able to concentrate on their dancing, despite their latest, upgraded versions of thought concentrators. There’s more than one way to skin a cat in freefall!”
Which image is most like the other?
In this month’s copy of a children’s magazine, Highlights, we ask you to identify which image of a person in the first photo is most like an image of a person in the second photo:
HINT: there is no version of the girl with long black hair in the first photo.
Credits:
treetrunkdings 