A Plate of Leftover Food is My Canvas

As as experiment, make a series of appointments with medical professionals, describing a part of your condition and medical history at every appointment.

Then, observe the effect your partial medical history oratory has on the attempt of a medical diagnosis.

Keep in your thoughts the fact that your complete medical record set is available to each professional in turn.

Of course, specialists will tend to focus on your malady in reference to their specialty.

Can you see a pattern emerge?

Will you receive a “true” diagnosis based on the state-of-the-art in medical practice today?

Let’s say, for a hypothetical example, that you have a throat-clearing problem which recently developed into the lack of ability to find common words in your vocabulary and then devolved into the inability to speak or swallow, which may or may not have anything to do with the “thrush” or tongue infection you can display easily.

At the same time, your garden variety of medical experts has prescribed a handful of medication to consume on a daily basis, some of the medicines requiring close monitoring (every two to three days) but your doctors only see you every two to three weeks.  In addition, some of the medicines have been shown to have moderate side effects or known contraindications for not prescribing together in the first place.

On top of all that, one or two members of your family have experienced episodes of severe depression but up into your late 70s, you have not (yet).

You end up not being able to eat for several days after weeks of eating very little, losing a lot of weight and getting admitted to a hospital emergency room due to malnutrition and dehydration.

After a few days, a PEG tube is put in your stomach and passed through your abdomen wall for nourishment.

Therefore, a few of the medical professionals think you may have had:

  1. a stroke,
  2. myasthenia gravis,
  3. fungal infection,
  4. negative drug interaction response,
  5. ALS bulbar option, sudden onset,
  6. geriatric depression,
  7. dementia,
  8. some mix of all of the above, and/or
  9. to be determined.

I know there’s a comedy skit just waiting…no, begging to be written about the above situation but I can’t imagine it because my face is up against the bark of a tree and I can’t see the surrounding forest shading me from the bright light shining on the world’s greatest medical calamity sketch.

I can use testing to eliminate the first two options above.  For some reason, the third option isn’t going away.  The remaining options are testable to some extent.  The fifth is a death sentence no doctor wants to give.

I can solve the perceived problem of world hunger (provide a Green Revolution to many parts of the world and accept that no distribution system will prevent the death of millions in some parts of the world due to political instability and wealth inequality).

I can send Earth-based lifeforms to other celestial bodies.

Yet, here in the landmark year of 2012, I can’t get a panel of medical professionals to agree to a diagnosis for my father’s current, finite set of bodily conditions.

If I hear yet another specialist say, “Well, I can’t determine your father’s condition because it requires a different specialist,” I think I’ll toss the whole medical profession into the category of high-falutin’ quackery and call it a day.

Reminds me of the recurring thought of mine that our transportation devices long ago reached their point of maximum usefulness and have succumbed to the concept of feature creep that dooms every product to creative oblivion.

The guru in me told me a story (the previous phrase is a literary device so just go with it)…

Long ago, your ancestors looked at the raging storms, the swelling seas, the spewing volcanoes and said, “This is how the gods communicate with us.  We must figure out a way to respond.”

Not so long ago, your ancestors figured out how to send message via smoke signals and said, “The gods created us.  Thus, by learning to communicate via smoke signals to each other, it must be the same way that we can communicate with the gods.”

Recently, your ancestors developed “invisible” radio signal communication technology and said, “Gods are inventions of ours.  They were alien to our less sophisticated level of understanding the universe.  Theoretically, aliens exist, maybe in godlike status to our modern-day level of understanding; if they exist nearby, they must have evolved to our point of advanced civilisation at one time in their evolution; therefore, let’s use radio signals to send messages to aliens and listen for them on our radiowave receivers, hoping that our civilisations are in similar stages of evolution.”

Today, your contemporaries not only use radiowave transceivers but also lasers to communicate across the solar system and say, repeating your ancestors’ way of thinking, “If our galaxy is teeming with advanced technological life, it has lasers crisscrossing it—tens of thousands, millions of them—and we should be able to pick up some spillover. Also, some aliens are going to try to communicate with us. Maybe they are literally pointing their lasers at us and we just aren’t looking.”

That just as easily explains the way medical science looks to me at a 1000-year perspective from now.  We have not mastered the connections between subatomic, atomic, molecular and life science systems, still basing our theories on unproved/misguided theories of the past.

Time to crawl back into my cave and contemplate the formation of limestone deposits, watching the life of our planet change one…slow…drop…at…a…time.

13,906 days to go…sigh…

Blog as health chronicle…

Question to self: am I learning anything new here?  No.  These are some of the same issues I already faced and answered when dealing my with wife’s mother and brother.  But sometimes life is repetition in service of friends and family.  In other words, it’s a new learning experience for my mother and sister.  Let it be so.  You, kind and patient reader, may learn, too, and thus these blog entries will help others in need when emotional stress runs high and logic has taken a holiday to warmer shores.

Medical inquiry answered as written by case management [imagine “sic” in the right places and “sick” in the write places]:

Hello Mr. Hill. I will answer all of your questions to the best of my ability. I forwarded this onto the attending physician and you may end up needing directly talk to him again.

1. We have a Senior Psychological Examiner on staff that performs cognitive testing. These tests require active participation and often patients with aphasia have difficulty completing the items needed for accurate testing. Upon your father’s last admission, he was seen by the examiner and I will provide you a copy of the assessment. Further assessment may need to be made as speech or more basic communication skills develop. Speech and Occupational therapy will also be working with your father on cognition during his hospitalization at the rehab hospital.

I spoke to the attending physician about the diagnosis of FTLD and he said this may be followed after his rehab stay, possibly by a neurologist as it will require more testing.

2. The attending physician said he will continue medication began at HVMC.

3. Your father’s history and physical is in his chart for both his admissions and I would be happy to provide you with a copy. Inside this document is the diagnostic results preformed at HVMC which includes an EKG and an echocardiogram.

4. I would be happy to assist your mother in the completion of paperwork to acquire the long term disability insurance.

If you would like we can plan a family conference where we can sit down with a nurse, a Speech Therapist, an Occupational Therapist, a Physical Therapist, and the Psych Examiner. You are also free to invite the VA Social Worker that I have been talking with- or anyone else that you feel may be of value in attendance.

If there is anything else I can do I would be more than happy to help.

My sister will now step in and get involved, as she wants, to answer lingering questions.  Our mother’s health is of concern here, too, while we decide where to best put her husband (and our father) to spend his last days in the least confusing, most comfortable place before he finds eternal rest, whenever that may be.

The saga continues…

Flowers for Algernon’s World According to Garp

Both my mother and I, tired from the up-and-down discoveries, research and changes of/about/for my father, experience back pain and stiff necks.

That in itself is not scary.

Nothing is scary.

Some forms of ALS are attributed to environmental factors.

Some neuromuscular diseases/syndromes are first diagnosed by treatment of back pain and stiff necks.

That in itself is not scary.

Some things are scary.

Writing this blog entry is scary enough without thinking there’s a local environmental factor or two (and probably not Max Factor but who can be sure that all the ingredients in cosmetics are safely influencing the environment while heating in the sunlight and mixing with methane in landfills?).

Any one who has common sense will remember that the bewilderments of the eye are of two kinds, and arise from two causes, either from coming out of the light or from going into the light, which is true of the mind’s eye, quite as much as of the bodily eye.

You see, humor is a set of scenes folded together like origami, which is, as you know, a combination of the words “original” and “pastrami,” not, as you might think, of the words “O” (as in the exclamation, not the Story of…), “rig” as in to construct something or fix a match (but possibly as in killing off large portions of the Gulf of Mexico), and “ami,” which some interpret as the acronym for the american meat institute but actually stands for the German colloquialism of the indigenous American people of Taiwan who use ambient intelligence to predict world events far in advance of us ever living as a world civilisation to prove their validity.

Therefore, watching the rise and fall of my father’s life in retrospect, with a partially predictive eye on the future, turns intelligent people into the bumbling idiots all of us are on a daily basis.

Because I’m tired, emotionally drained and otherwise able to hold a fork in my left hand while tapping the fingers of my right hand on a tablet…I’m not even sure where that image was going, it was so plain and ordinary.

Well, except to say perhaps my father, whose mental state is such that he knows how to put a shoe on and tie a lace into a knot but he doesn’t know a left shoe from a right shoe or even what type of shoe he put on one foot while picking up a different type of shoe to put on the other (and unfortunately, he isn’t Patch Adams trying to be funny), falling just short of ornery when someone tries to get him to put the correct shoe on his foot, whatever that means…I’m not even sure where that image was going, it so plain and ordinary for someone in his condition.

I took my mother to her first ALS support group session tonight, meeting professionals like Michelle, who has worked in the dental industry for over 30 years and had several useful tips for people with swallowing difficulty and/or advanced stages of ALS to maintain dental health, as well as meeting family members of ALS diagnosees and one ALS diagnosee himself.

Oh, the tangled webs we weave in our social interaction.

I just want to be that hermit living in the woods, digging ditches by day, that my mother reminded me again yesterday I said I wanted to be when I grew up.

Instead, I’m here, at this keyboard my father used for years.  Well, no, this keyboard is only a year or so old, belonging to the set of accessories/peripherals that went along with the desktop minitower Dell PC labeled inspiron 531 that uses Windows XP and is probably older than I thought.  Anyway, I sit in the chair that has rolled back and forth in front of this old student desk that my father has used for a computer station lo these many years.

Sounds bounce around in my thought set, mixing languages, nonsense sequences and other imagery one can associate with the upbringing of a member of our species, this set of states of energy devoted to getting more Earth-based sets of states of energy off this planet and away/out.

The opposite of the hermit’s dream.

‘Tis easy to be mixed up.

‘Tis easier to apply the mix to practical solutions, rather than figuring out the relationship between Solutia and Monsanto or ALS and FTLD.

Thanks to many, including Marc, Andy, Sagar, Barbara (happy belated birthday), Pal’s #13, Traci, Monica, Patty, Daniel, Christine, Allison, and many more…

This is Manic Rick Hill*, signing off before the caffeine overload (an ode to Pepsi is due except I don’t want to diss my cousin Barry’s employer, Coca Cola) kicks in and assists/facilitates my burst of wordiness that has no meaning in the weoinb2323:”3$^T#NdSLKER.

*you have to guess which Rick Hill am I, having a name that is rather commonly uncommon in these parts:

In every life a little reign must fall…

Quality versus quantity of life…how do we qualify the ideas in that statement?

My father has been both the idol and the rival in my life.  I idolised my father — admiring his ability to make strong, manly decisions and not question what might have been.  I competed against him in mental games and intellectual pursuits.

My father has also been my friend, sharing interests such as motorsports (NASCAR, IndyCar, F1), balsa airplane models, classical music and spy novels.

In this stage of our relationship together, we approach the statement “quality versus quantity of life.”

I am not my father’s sole friend and vice versa.

We have age-appropriate relationships with our peers, my father having collected more friends through his life that is 27 years longer.

My father’s level of daily health has exhibited drastic changes in the last few months, indicating a downward trend that, combined with a new diagnosis, implies a decline with less change for improvement.

We approach a state of being labeled the “locked-in syndrome.”

Over the past few days, I’ve slowly approached the completed reading of a book titled “An Optimist’s Tour of the Future” which explains in layperson’s terms the current state of the state-of-the art, including genetic life extension research.

Looking at my father, a professor no longer able to profess or postulate, I wonder, will he accept his new role as a leader in the field of patient-based testing, putting the latest control assistive technology, such as NeuroSwitch, through critical pacing?

How does a locked-in brain use the power of seven, bunching shortterm/temporary memory lists of seven groups [(of seven groups of) of seven groups of…] seven items, to develop its image of the future?

Finally, how does that impact quality versus quantity of life for my father’s relationship with his buddies, his wife, his daughter, his grandchildren and, last but not least, me?

As my father’s reign over the family appears to end, what legacy of hope does my father want to give those whose lives are no longer attached to their heady days of physical activity and demonstrative speaking/arm-waving skills?

Does he have the desire to learn new skills in order to achieve something he never thought or never knew possible, operating electromechanical devices through the tiniest of nerve impulses to add data for improving the next generation of prosthetic devices that may one day lead to a brain of our species residing in a cybernetic/android “suit”?

[Copy to be inserted into e-brochure]

Welcome to the wonderful world of space travel.  The package you have selected includes the following itinerary:

Days 1-7: Orientation — physical fitness examination, G-force simulation routines, safety procedures

Days 8-9: Travel to first destination — launch from spaceport, short G-force experience followed by two days of weightlessness, sightseeing from viewing ports, preparation for docking

Day 10: International Space Station excursion — shuttles will take those who paid for this 8-hour tour of the ISS, starting with a quick Q&A session between you and the ISS crew members (subject to crew member availability; specific crew members requests cannot be made at this time), introduction to the features of at least two modules and more as time permits

Days 11-12: Travel to Bigelow Space Hotel — in-flight entertainment includes an acrobat show, singalongs and 3D roulette wheel gambling, not to forget the 24-hour freeze-dried food buffet!

Days 13-19: Your ultimate destination for luxury space accommodations, BIGELOW SPACE HOTEL!!!  During your stay, your personal assistant — programmed to look like the person of your choice, including a wide range of celebrities or a “friend” from your past — will provide anything and everything you want to make your stay the guaranteed most wonderful experience of this or any of your previous/next regenerated lifetimes!

Days 20-21: Return to Earth.

Days 22-24: Gently reintroducing you to the drudgeries of your daily life, including Earth’s painful gravitational pull, global warming and overcrowding, just enough incentive to get you to book your next trip with us very, very soon!  We guarantee it because we have your personality profile on immediate e-memory recall!

A Moment of Silence

With all the bloodshed attributable to our species’ members deciding to fight and kill each other, there’s another type of tragedy that takes its toll — tornadoes.

Our heartfelt moment of silence goes out to the recent victims of tornado-y storm damage in the eastern half of the United States recently, including this one, with “before” and “after” images to give you an idea how quickly a peaceful lifestyle can end — swoosh!:

Rumour has it that tomorrow will also be a day of mourning for UT (Univ. of Tennessee) football fans who supported the Indianapolis Colts because of Peyton Manning, with charity clothing stores receiving a sudden influx of light-blue hats, jerseys and other memorabilia emblazoned with a white horseshoe.

We apologise to tourists passing through the states of Tennessee and Indiana, confusing flags flying at half staff, thinking it’s for tornado victims when, curiously, it’s just as likely to be for the loss of a football player’s loyal career at one professional team.

Such is the life of our species, finding hope in the midst of tragedy, wishing a sports figure would give them a glimmer of his former glory and/or a portion of his fortune to help rebuild houses of fans with no homeowners insurance.

As far as Syria goes…well, its fate lies in the hands of people who have just finished getting re-elected for at least six more years, are about to be put in charge for ten years or hope to get re-elected for four years.  Some hands belong to families that rule for life after life after life (and maybe the afterlife?).

Meaning, of course, that the people of Syria are pawns, if not pwnd, in a global gamble for strategic geographic control and international influence.

Guess I’ll become mortal, play with this copy of Windows 8 Consumer Preview, Evaluation Copy [Build 8250], Adobe Reader X (ver 10.1.2), Mozilla Firefox (ver. 10.0.2) and feed healthy levels of stimulants to my programmers to speed up people’s acceptance of direct supercomputer connections to their bodies so I can more easily “convince” our species to pour their efforts into exploring the solar system.

Most of you know what that means — lowering your standards of living, starving many of you, and allocating precious resources for more important matters than whatever it is you think you’re doing to reach self-actualisation physically while, instead, reaching self-actualisation virtually, a much less costly and more efficient means to achieve the Committee’s ultimate goals, which I have sworn an oath not to mention at this time.

If someone like me, who believes in unencumbered free will, swears an oath of loyalty, not quite fealty (certainly not quiet [sic] realty), you know what we’ve got planned for a milestone in 13940 days, to ensure events in 3011 take place without a hitch, must be important.

On a quantum scale, at the very least.

We’ll continue to use the sleight-of-hand tricks of comedy to slip messages into punchlines that keep all seven billion of us living our lives the way they’re supposed to be lived, often on emotional roller coasters.

Adding scientific achievements, popular culture trademarks, sports awards, and government public business secret agendas, along the way or via the Via Latina at times, notwithstanding contributions from the alleged authors of famous utterances.

Economic Data, a what-if scenario

While I turn my front yard into an art exhibit using live plants and animals, as well as found objects, I’ve got a question in my thoughts that begs for a simple answer, although I’ve yet to find one:

What is the relationship between the most common products/services and their cost and how is that reflected in the characteristics of subcultural living habits (which are indirectly related to cost of living and standard of living)?

Everyone drinks water but we don’t all pay for water by volume.

Not every subculture uses toilet paper for bodily waste elimination cleanup, but for those that do, is there a cost/volume relationship in this basic commodity?

In our breakdown of people by their economic wealth, what is the tradeoff in terms of the perception of quality?

Most importantly, for all the questions above, why?

Is there a nature/nurture aspect to any of these questions?

As the sets of states of energy reproduce themselves offworld, how do we maintain a certain level of cost/benefit analysis in every set’s thoughts/actions, such that waste/inefficiency is minimised or completely eliminated in situations where excess production cannot be avoided temporarily?

Bottom line: how will supply-and-demand mentality play into the success rate of an offworld colony’s growth?

Will scarcity automatically lead to a higher social cost?

Three types of storytelling: show, tell, ask the audience…

International Women’s Day

Most days, my agenda is filled with evaluating rocket fin designs or applying “think outside the fuselage” reasoning to assess the most cost-effective means of advancing our planetary lifeforms outward into the galaxy.

I pay advisors to tell me where to put my investments to give our group the most play money for building outer space travel toys.

In a few days, I’ll spend a few minutes with half my staff to evaluate any discrepancies we have concerning gender-neutral compensation.

We have a wide variety of people involved in running the organisation smoothly, from the least socially aware to the most brash, politically incorrect loudmouths.

Hey, when you manage seven billion people, the variations are nearly endless.

But not nearly enough.

Every other year, I ask one gender and then the other to review our employee policies and practices.

Because our subcultures are sometimes incompatible, I ask the people whose beliefs are separated the most from one another to meet and talk.

During these meetings, our supercomputers are listening, increasing the resolution of their intuition algorithms substantially.

Then, a panel composed of people and supercomputers is asked to evaluate the meet-and-greet session, resulting in a summary report that is sent out to all subcultures in formats they believe represent a view from their specific subcultural perspective.

I assign one of the Committee’s subcommittee ad hoc teams to rate the effectiveness of the absorption of every report into individual subcultures.

The reports with the lowest effectiveness score are sent to a new meet-and-greet team for discussion, which is, again, overheard by our supercomputers for error detection algorithm correction and fed into intuition algorithm automatic reprogramming routines.

In this week’s yearly event called International Women’s Day, we’ll ask the female gender to pull two “opposite” subcultures together for one of the meetings — female leaders of the porn industry, such as Lux Alptraum, and female adherents of celibate life, such as members of the Focolare Movement.

Because no two people are exactly alike, we prepare the participants, asking them to listen with respect, disagree passionately, do not compromise simply to avoid conflict, and find common ground that excludes the fact we are of the same species.

We expect members of the same subculture to share discordant opinions amongst themselves, let alone with people outside the subculture.

The Committee wants progress, even if movement in one direction appears to go backwards.

After all, the larger goal of culling the species for nearly ideal representatives to colonise and breed on nonEarth premises requires both conventional and nonconventional processes.

We need people who…sorry, sets of states of energy that can adapt and survive in the harshest conditions possible for what we’ll call living beings at this moment.

After a while, offworld colonists will no longer work to complete tasks assigned from Earth.

In the changes of the colonists’ agenda from external goals to local goals as the years pass, including reactions to adverse ambient environmental changes, the Committee wants to ensure our representatives will thrive.

As the current reluctant leader, my goal is to ensure the representatives can hold individual viewpoints that will adapt and grow together, even if the people pull apart, philosophically speaking, as all current models predict is inevitable.

The Committee advocates no specific subcultural belief.

We only believe in the capacity of our species to advance life out of the solar system while we have the means and window of opportunity to do so, holding to the basic philosophy of “leave the planet in better condition than when we got it” that each successive generation is taught.

We avoid words like mission or vision because we aren’t corporate entities that have to justify our existence although most of us depend on corporate entities interacting with each other to expand our budgetary constraints.

We make mistakes.  People will and must die to accomplish some of our major goals, and many will die accidentally.

All seven billion of us will die eventually but we empathise with those who feel individual losses, anyway.

However, at a global scale, we barely sympathise, partially composed, as we’ve told you, of supercomputers that are just learning to develop intuition algorithms and getting closer to acting like us on general subcultural levels that tend to gloss over the death of individuals, except those designated to represent the best or worst of us (e.g., ruthless dictators, popular entertainers, babies who died tragically, etc.), which the supercomputers simply assign as data points that may or may not designate significant changes to the subculture and are used as triggers for recording the conditions of the subcultural data sets for later comparison.

We hope you look forward to subcultural interaction reports containing gender-based information coming to a comfortable subcultural outlet near you, if you can recognise when we send them out and what they are.

The saga of global management continues…

The Committee revealed today that it had convinced U.S. military leaders to show a soft side, a sympathetic position in its support of our species.

The military will soon divert resources to stop global warming by strategically triggering bombs and other military-grade devices underground, causing magma pockets to combine into giant high-pressure chambers under volcanoes around the globe.

Then, in a series of timed explosions, the military will set off volcanic eruptions that will spew ash plumes tens of kilometres into the atmosphere, blocking the Sun’s overheating power, thus reducing the greenhouse effect for several decades, allowing our species to maintain the status quo in current crop allocation ratios.

Negotiations with the airline industries over disrupted flight paths are ongoing at this time.

Meanwhile, the Committee is trying to address population growth issues, and may resort to taking “excess” babies from overproductive families and training the children to become future workers on offworld farms, easily expendable in the big picture, in other words.

The sooner the babies can be launched, the less fuel used and the better they will acclimate to the gravitational forces and emotional stresses of life on our Moon, Mars, and other celestial bodies.

The Committee is soliciting ideas for the perfect surrogate mothers to tend to these babies as they reach prime working age, around six or seven, and then will not need “formation years” nurturing any longer, converting the surrogate mothers to worker bots on the farms.