Do you ever receive email messages that show someone has tried to use your website’s email system to send email?

Here is the second part of two unplanned blog entries about randomised messages on the Internet — who says computer don’t talk to us semicoherently?  Can you imagine an off-Broadway minimalist play, “Waiting for G@dhelpme.plz,” where the players read these random messages to each other?  Have they already done so?:

Hi. This is the qmail-send program at .
I’m afraid I wasn’t able to deliver your message to the following addresses.
This is a permanent error; I’ve given up. Sorry it didn’t work out.

<>:
Sorry, no mailbox here by that name. (#5.1.1)

The following message to <> was undeliverable.
The reason for the problem:
5.1.0 – Unknown address error 553-‘sorry, this recipient is in my badrecipientto list (#5.7.1)’

The following message to <> was undeliverable.
The reason for the problem:
5.1.0 – Unknown address error 550-‘Invalid recipient: <>’

Delivery to the following recipient failed permanently:

—– Original message —–

Received: by  with SMTP id ;
Thu, 18 Oct 2012 00:14:01 -0700 (PDT)
Return-Path: <>
Received: from [] ([)
by  with ESMTP id ;
Thu, 18 Oct 2012 00:14:01 -0700 (PDT)
Received-SPF: neutral :  is neither permitted nor denied by best guess record for domain of ) client-ip=;
Authentication-Results: ; spf=neutral ( is neither permitted nor denied by best guess record for domain of ) smtp.mail=
From: “LinkedIn.Invitations” <>
To: >
Date: Thu, 18 Oct 2012 10:43:59 +0430
Subject: New invitation
Message-ID: <>
Accept-Language: en-US
Content-Language: en-US
x-linkedin-template: inv_exp_member_02
x-linkedin-class: INVITE-MBR
Content-Type: text/html; charset=”utf-8″
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
MIME-Version: 1.0

—– End of message —–

Delivery has failed to these recipients or distribution lists:
The recipient’s e-mail address was not found in the recipient’s e-mail system. Microsoft Exchange will not try to redeliver this message for you. Please check the e-mail address and try resending this message, or provide the following diagnostic text to your system administrator.

The following email account(s) do not exist. Please check the address(es) and send the message again. Thanks:

Hi. This is the qmail-send program at .
I’m afraid I wasn’t able to deliver your message to the following addresses.
This is a permanent error; I’ve given up. Sorry it didn’t work out.

<>:
This mailbox does not have enough space to receive your message.

<>… User unknown

Failed to deliver to ”
mail loop: too many hops (too many ‘Received:’ header fields)

Hello ,

We’re writing to let you know that the group you tried to contact () may not exist, or you may not have permission to post messages to the group. A few more details on why you weren’t able to post:

* You might have spelled or formatted the group name incorrectly.
* The owner of the group may have removed this group.
* You may need to join the group before receiving permission to post.
* This group may not be open to posting.

If you have questions related to this or any other Google Group, visit the Help Center at .

Thanks,

admins

This is an automatically generated Delivery Status Notification.

Delivery to the following recipients failed.

This report relates to a message you sent with the following header fields:

Message-id: <>
Date: Thu, 11 Oct 2012 09:22:02 -0200
From: “” <>
To:
Subject: eFax: You have received new fax

Your message cannot be delivered to the following recipients:

Recipient address:
Reason: Remote SMTP server has rejected address
Diagnostic code: smtp;550-Mailbox unknown. Either there is no mailbox associated with this you do not have authorization to see it. User unknown
Remote system: dns;. (TCP|) ( server ready)

The original message was received at Thu, 11 Oct 2012 00:24:38 -0400 (EDT)
from []

—– The following addresses had permanent fatal errors —–
<>
(reason: 550 5.1.1 <>… User unknown)
(expanded from: <>)

—– Transcript of session follows —–
… while talking to .:
>>> DATA
<<< 550 5.1.1 ><>… User unknown
550 5.1.1 <>… User unknown
<<< 503 5.0.0 Need RCPT (recipient)

Hi. This is the qmail-send program at .
I’m afraid I wasn’t able to deliver your message to the following addresses.
This is a permanent error; I’ve given up. Sorry it didn’t work out.

<>:
Unable to write /dev/null: invalid argument. (#4.3.0)
I’m not going to try again; this message has been in the queue too long.