One-Way Ticket to Paradise

As the countdown winds down — only 13630 days, according to the main schedule — we look at one of the interim milestones as well as some of the news items that indicate our species’ desire to divert our attention from diverting our attention from reaching our goals.

  1. First, there is the Mars One mission that wants humans willing to take a one-way trip to Mars, becoming the first to travel to, live and die on a nonEarth celestial body.
  2. Next, there are the theories that lay out theories about theories why we would want to premeditate murder — of course, the real purpose of every conspiracy theorist is to protect free speech, regardless of the theory and the headlines it does or doesn’t generate.
  3. For every conspiracy theory about the government censoring the news, there are verified stories in which mass media mavens actually kept quiet at the government’s behest.  Numerous times during WWII, the U.S. government asked newspaper reporters and publishers to hold off reporting a battle or an invasion and they did.  In other countries, the government simply took the great honour of culling and killing the reporters and their publishers ahead of time because the government never trusted them to begin with.

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Like other Presidents who exerted forceful leadership at critical junctures in American history, [Franklin D.] Roosevelt was the recipient of both passionate adoration and blind hatred.

Roosevelt jokes — and jokes about his wife, Eleanor, who was always on the go — abounded.

Some of them Roosevelt enjoyed; others he regarded as beneath contempt.

His favorite cartoon showed a little girl running to tell her mother standing in front of a fashionable home: “Look, mama, Wilfred wrote a bad word!”  The word on the sidewalk was “Roosevelt.”

And his favorite story was about the commuter from Westchester County, a Republican stronghold, who always walked into his train station, handed the newspaper boy a quarter, picked up the New York Herald Tribune, and then handed it back as he rushed out to catch his train.

Finally the newsboy, unable to contain his curiosity any longer, asked his customer why he only glanced at the front page.

“I’m interested in the obituary notices,” the man told him.

“But they’re way over on page twenty-four, and you never look at them,” said the boy.

“Boy,” said the man,” the son of a bitch I’m interested in will be on page one!”

In that vein…

At a Cabinet meeting one day Roosevelt gleefully told the story about an American marine who, ordered home from Guadalcanal, was disconsolate because he hadn’t killed even one of the enemy.

He stated his case to his superior officer, who said: “Go up on that hill over that and shout: ‘To hell with Emperor Hirohito!’ That will bring the Japs out of hiding.”

The marine did as he was ordered.

Immediately a Japanese soldier came out of the jungle, shouting, “To hell with Roosevelt!”

“And of course,” said the marine, “I could not kill a Republican.”

— more stories collected in Presidential Anecdotes by Paul F. Boller, Jr. (Kingsport, TN, 1981)

One more for the Rose Garden

U.S. President Eisenhower was an experienced writer.

He once remarked to Arthur Larson: “You know that General MacArthur got quite a reputation as a silver-tongued speaker when he was in the Philippines.  Who do you think wrote his speeches?  I did.”

Both Larson and Emmet Hughes, who worked with President Eisenhower on speeches, attested to his skill with words.

At his weekly presidential press conferences, however, Ike could be incomprehensible whenever he wanted to be.  He was a masterly performer.  He went to these conferences knowing exactly what he planned to say and what he intended to avoid saying by employing vague and evasive language.

In May 1954, when the Republic of China threatened to occupy some islands in the Formosa Straits, the State Department was worried about public reaction to anything the President might say about the crisis.

“Mr. President,” press secretary James Hagerty told Ike just before his weekly press conference, “some of the people in the State Department say that the Formosa Strait situation is so delicate that no matter what question you get on it, you shouldn’t say anything at all.”

“Don’t worry, Jim,” said Ike.  “If that question comes up, I’ll just confuse them.”

And in 150 carefully chosen words he did just that.

— from Eisenhower: Portrait of the Hero by Peter Lyon (Boston, 1975), page 641.

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Your bonus…

In July 1923, [President Herbert] Hoover wrote a few powerful paragraphs for President Harding’s Independence Day address, announcing the voluntary abolition by industry of the twelve-hour day and the eight-four-hour week.  His language was so different from the rest of the speech that Harding stumbled over the passage when reading it.  While the audience was applauding the announcement, Harding whispered to Hoover, who was sitting on the platform, “Damn it, Hoover, why don’t you write the same English as I do?”

— from Herbert Hoover: A Biography, by Eugene Lyons (Garden City, N.Y., 1964), page 167.

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Last, but certainly not least, at least, the last:

When [Franklin D.] Roosevelt was getting his Cabinet together, labor leaders suggested several men for the post; but he appointed Frances Perkins instead.

She was the first woman to serve in a President’s Cabinet.

According to a story circulating in Washington [D.C.], Mrs. Roosevelt’s commiserated with her husband over the bad hour he must have had with the labor leaders when he told them he had already made up his mind to appoint Perkins.

“Oh, that’s all right,” FDR was said to have replied, “I’d rather have trouble with them for an hour than trouble with you for the rest of my life!”

— from Eleanor and Franklin by Joseph P. Lash (New York, 1971), page 608.

A Four-Leaf Clover Afore Cleaving Lover, Revisited

“May you have the hindsight to know where you have been,
And the foresight to know where you are going,
And the insight to know when you have gone too far.”

— An Irish blessing

There is a certain echo in this room when I know my neighbour’s rolling his rubbish bin to the road.

A hollow sound that bounces, like thunder rumbling underground.

Then, a measured silence.

Finally, an internal combustion engine cranks us and the neighbour’s not long in the driveway before he rumbles and bounces off to parts unknown.

I have heard this set of sounds for nearly my whole life, in more than one country, in American, Canadian, English, German and Irish suburban tracts, as if the Earth’s rotation depended on it.

Today, my neighbour is the example I want to use to remind myself, as I often do, about the consequences of the parallel storyline in this blog.

On the tellie recently, one man verbally barked at the English host of the show about the threats to American liberty that the British invasion — a sort of silent cultural revenge by the Brits on the Americans for losing the East Coast of the North American continent to a bunch of refined and undignified revolutionaries a couple of centuries ago — has slowly eroded the natural rights and freedoms enumerated in the Declaration of Independence and the U.S. Constitution.

We could build upon this verbal redeclaration and upset the apple cart from which our mix of freedom-loving Ruralites, Urbanskis, Suburbanians, Entitlementists and Provisionists feeds with little fear of an unstable economy, society and government.

Is my neighbour a sheep ready for shearing, happy to walk the fields, thinking it has the freedom to pick whatever grass it wants to eat, subconsciously depending on fences and shepherds to protect it from harm?

But where does the lamb meat in gyros come from?

Is my neighbour like the rabbits in Watership Down who were unaware of their impending doom?

What others lessons from literature and history may I draw conclusions from?

Do Native Americans celebrate the same freedom/right-enumerating documents that U.S. citizens do?

When a system has temporary representatives who are demonised by one group or another revolving in and out of public consciousness, can we build fury into enough citizens to overturn the system itself because the representatives are never in place long enough to incite wrath against them as symbolic crooked/corrupt leaders worth taking down?

In other words, where is the moral imperative?

What is the concrete intersection of security and freedom that blocks our civilisation from truly prospering?

When is violent opposition by the minority justified to save the majority from its dull, blasé, safely-corraled lifestyle(s)?

What about when that minority is fighting against tyranny of the global economy which acts like a conformist Urbanski monster eating up freedom-loving Ruralites like there’s no tomorrow?

There are still places where you can step off the grid, so to speak, but is it as easy to grow and sell your food in the marketplace to support your grid-free living (after all, you probably have to pay taxes to some entity that claims protection of your land) like when local bartering was the norm rather than today’s global economies of scale that make small-scale farming seem less competitive than it used to be?

What exactly is the freedom-loving minority going after?

What would a new Declaration of Independence look like?

How can a group of people as diverse as seven billion of us be convinced that the current system where we live and which we actively support — with rubbish bins, cars, roads, houses, adult/children daycare, cashless transactions, security cameras and precrime units that arrest children for expressing their anger in creative, noncriminal ways  — is dangerous for us in the longterm?

If you observe some of the stuff that passes as art these days, there’s plenty of freedom to express yourself, regardless of function, utility or economic viability of the art in the global economy, so I can’t see that the “New World Order” is suppressing freedom of expression in that sense.

You can appear on national television and make all sorts of crazy comments, garnering a loyal following and a multimillion-dollar lifestyle.

You can become an international sensation on the Internet overnight.

I’m willing to listen to a group that claims it has been trampled on by society at large but I need hard, concrete facts to analyse and support my willingness to take that group’s claims to the general public for consideration.

Otherwise, I have planets to populate and solar systems to explore where new groups will have to learn to live with one another and their autonomous robotic counterparts in the same old, new ways as before.

More precious presidential precedental presentiments

Once, when U.S. President Martin Van Buren was receiving guests at a White House levee, Henry Clay sidled up to him and whispered that it must be pleasant to be surrounded by so many friends.

“Well,” said Van Buren cautiously, “the weather is very fine.”

— from The American Talleyrand: The Career and Contemporaries of Martin Van Buren, by Holmes Alexander (New York, 1935), p. 406.

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When Congress was discussing independence, according to a story Thomas Jefferson told a friend in his old age, meetings were held near a livery-stable, and the meeting hall was besieged by flies.

The delegates wore short breeches and silk stockings; while they talked they also busily lashed the flies from their legs with their handkerchiefs.

The flies were so vexatious, Jefferson said, that the delegates finally decided to sign the Declaration of Independence at once and get away from the place as quickly as possible.

Jefferson told the story “with much glee,” said the friend; he was amused by “the influence of the flies” on so momentous an event.

— from The Domestic Life of Thomas Jefferson by Sarah N. Robinson (New York, 1871), page 421 n.

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Ronald Reagan turned seventy in February 1981 and joked about his age in a speech at a Washington Press Club dinner.

“I know your organisation was founded by six Washington newspaperwomen in 1919,” he remarked; then, after a slight pause, added: “It seems like only yesterday.”

Middle age, he went on to say, “is when you’re faced with two temptations and you choose the one that will get you home at 9 o’clock.”

And, after quoting Thomas Jefferson’s advice not to worry about one’s age, he exclaimed: “And ever since he told me that, I stopped worrying.”

— “Reagan’s One-Liners,” New York Times, February 6, 1981, page A13.

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President Reagan was famous for his one-liners.  Even in emergencies he preserved his good humour and toss off quip after quip to reassure those around him.  An attempt on his life early in his Presidency left him as calm and unruffled as Theodore Roosevelt had been after a similar attack many years before.

Early in the afternoon of March 30, 1981, a deranged young loner pumped a fusillade of explosive bullets into the President, his press secretary and two law enforcement officers as they were coming out of the Washington-Hilton Hotel.

Reagan was rushed to the hospital with a serious chest wound, but when he was wheeled into the operating room he grinned and told the surgeon: “Please assure me that you are all Republicans!”

“Today,” responded one of the doctors, “we’re all good Republicans, Mr. President.”

A few hours after surgery the President wrote his doctors a note which parodied comedian W.C. Fields: “All in all, I’d rather be in Philadelphia.”

A little later hie sent another note from the intensive-care section to White House aides waiting outside: “Winston Churchill said ‘There’s no more exhilarating feeling than being shot at without result.'”

Two hours later came a third note: “If I had had this much attention in Hollywood, I’d have stayed there.”

— “Reagan Out of Surgery,” Fort Worth Star-Telegram, March 31, 1981, page 2a; “Cooler Reagan Visits with Agent,” ibid., April 5, 1981.

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By spring 1979, when Jimmy Carter visited New Hampshire, his administration was beginning to come under heavy criticism.  When a newswoman in Portsmouth asked him whether his daughter Amy ever bragged about her father’s being President, Carter said, “No, she probably apologizes.”

— “He Can Catch Fire,” Time, CXIII (May 7, 1979), page 19.

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One time while Calvin Coolidge was president of the Massachusetts senate, two Senators got into an angry debate during which one told the other to go to hell.  Furious, the latter called on Coolidge to do something about it.

“I’ve looked up the law, Senator,” Coolidge told him, “and you don’t have to go there.”

— from Meet Calvin Coolidge by Edward C. Lathem (Brattleboro, Vt., 1960), page 7.

Compromise

The U.S. government agreed to a compromise with the powerful National Rifle Association in secret negotiations earlier this week.

U.S. citizens may keep their guns on one condition — that they use their weapons repeatedly during open hunting season.

The condition contained an exception — the hunting season is specified only for the termination of those with incurable violent tendencies, even latent ones that no person, chiefly trained psychiatric professionals, can see.

The exception contained a retainer — all U.S. citizens, regardless of the exercise of the inalienable right to gun ownership, must submit themselves for mental health examinations in accordance with the obliquely obscure rules embedded within the Affordable Care Act (a/k/a Obamacare), the citizens’ mental health scores published in a public database for all to see and comment upon in social media using bullying/shaming jargon.

A subparagraph of the exception specified a specificity: hunters must select three top choices for a prime hunting blind location and petition for a spot in the lottery to get their best choice.

In the past 24 hours since the announcement of the agreement, turns out the most popular places requested for hunting blind permits are in the vicinity of celebrity rehab retreats, liberal talk show host gatherings and progressive political brouhahas.  Anyone selecting shopping malls, theatres and/or schools have already been crosschecked against their mental health scores and randomly added to prime hunting blind locations themselves in hopes of making it to the top of this year’s Darwin Awards.

In politics, nothing changes like change

At one Cabinet meeting during Ike’s [Dwight D. Eisenhower’s] Presidency, Secretary of the Treasury George Humphrey told the President that the national debt might rise above the legal limit.

“Who will have to go to jail if that happens?” asked Ike.

“We will have to go to Congress,” Humphrey reminded him.

“Oh,” cried Ike, “that’s worse!”

from Eisenhower: The Inside Story by Robert J. Donovan (New York, 1956), p. 144, quoted in Presidential Anecdotes by Paul F. Boller, Jr. (1981, printed in the United States of America by Kingsport Press, Inc., Kingsport, Tennessee; set in Times Roman), p. 297.

In Honour of Tonight’s 2013 BCS National College Football Championship!

Some quips and quote from “The Wisdom of Southern Football”:

  • “When you make a mistake, admit it;learn from it and don’t repeat it.” — Bear Bryant
  • “Nobody wants to follow somebody who doesn’t know where he’s going.” — Joe Namath
  • “Winning isn’t getting ahead of others.  It’s getting ahead of yourself.” — Roger Staubach
  • “What does it take to be the best?  Everything.  And everything is up to you.” — Emmitt Smith
  • “Leadership must be demonstrated, not announced.” — Fran Tarkenton
  • “Winning is not final.” — Don Shula
  • “There are no office hours for champions.” — Paul Dietzel
  • “An angry football team is better than a confident one.” — Pepper Rodgers
  • “Yesterday is already a dream and tomorrow is only a vision, but today well-lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness and every tomorrow a vision of hope.” — General Robert Neyland’s Favorite Quotation from the Sanskrit
  • “Coach a boy as if he were your own son.” — Eddie Robinson
  • “I love the thrill of getting off a pass just before getting smashed.” — George Blanda
  • “Alabama fans love [Bear] Bryant and tolerate the rest of us.” — Gene Stallings
  • “You never know what a football player is made of until he plays Alabama.” — General Robert Neyland
  • “You never know how a horse will pull until you hook him to a heavy load.” — Bear Bryant
  • “One guy can’t do it by himself and it’s a matter of recognizing this and giving others their share of the credit.” — Archie Manning
  • “The first thing any coaching staff must do is weed out selfishness.  No program can be successful with players who put themselves ahead of the team.” — Johnny Majors
  • “There ought to be a special place in heaven for coaches’ wives.” — Bear Bryant
  • “The game is the star of the show.  My only job is to help the audience enjoy it.” — Keith Jackson
  • “When all is said and done, more is said than done.” — Lou Holtz
  • “I never get tired of running.  The ball ain’t that heavy.” — Herschel Walker
  • In 1903, John Heisman observed that, “Successful coaches are few and far between, and it is small wonder they command salaries practically without limit.”

When contacted…

When contacted, Donald Trump and Mitt Romney said “Nyet!” to the rumours they were, in an odd twist of history when going Russian meant you were a Commie, a pinko and unAmerican but now is strangely considered the move of a patriotic American, not going to accept Russian citizenship from their close friend and associate, Vladimir “No more taxes on the rich!” Putin.

Associates of Warren Buffett are already petitioning Putin to accept them.  If not, they threaten they’ll become Canadians and build military bases all along the Arctic Ocean and deny Russia its claims to oil/gas reserves in the Great White North.

Christmas cacti and fiber optic trees

Welcome to 2013, U.S. citizens — my wife and I have figured out the government’s taking an additional $100 per week from our takehome pay this year compared to 2012.

Our best wishes for recovery to former U.S. President George H. W. Bush, the only winning person I cast a vote for chief executive because a former CIA director calling for a kinder, gentler America sounds appealing in perspective.

A subculture calls me home…

Over the past couple of years, I have met with people who’ve asked me to reconsider the subcultural training of my youth in what I see as an attempt to keep me in the fold or bring me back in, depending on their views.

I met my wife at a summer church camp when we were 12, we married in her hometown church when we were 24 and, 26+ years later, we’re still married so I haven’t cut ties from my childhood subculture in any hard, abrupt, total sense.

Over the New Year’s Day extended holiday weekend, a good friend, medical doctor by trade, who with colleagues bought a primary school for a church congregation that has expanded from a few people to over 2000 since 2009, loaned me the following books to read:

Before I read them, I shall provide for myself and the reader a snippet of a review of each book.

  • The first: “Finally, Schaeffer names well, twenty-five years before such things unfolded in Washington, just how societies without a sense of what the political means, would respond to terrorism.  Such societies, Schaeffer writes, because they do not have any sense of liberty as a genuine political good, will “give up liberties” and welcome “a manipulating authoritarian government” (248) when decades of comfort get disturbed and the government promises to destroy evil (a strange promise for a government to make, as I tried to say even back in the last decade, but then again, it was the folks who recommended Schaeffer who seemed most convinced that a government could do just that).”
  • The second: “For Catholics—as well as for Protestants who have kept up contact with their Catholic past—natural law has been the principal vehicle for reflection upon general revelation. Though [John] Calvin accepted the natural law, he did not make much of it—for fear, perhaps, of obscuring the depravity of the mind. Among most of his heirs, the tradition has languished. Some even oppose it as a de facto denial of the fall, a neo–Scholastic treason more in debt to Aristotle than to Jesus Christ. I believe that this is a misunderstanding, and the Colson and Pearcey project would have been impoverished had it enjoyed no access to this great river of thought. [C.S.] Lewis—who, like the authors, only rarely refers to natural law by its proper name—is in many ways its ideal missionary, not only for laypeople who have never heard of it and for scholars leery of its Scholastic form, but also for specialists who have forgotten its roots in common sense. The authors have drunk deeply from his well.”

For recent Christmas gifts, I received two other books:

I contemplate my individual future, compare it to our species’ future, determine where we share goals and plot a true course that benefits us both.