When contacted, Donald Trump and Mitt Romney said “Nyet!” to the rumours they were, in an odd twist of history when going Russian meant you were a Commie, a pinko and unAmerican but now is strangely considered the move of a patriotic American, not going to accept Russian citizenship from their close friend and associate, Vladimir “No more taxes on the rich!” Putin.

Associates of Warren Buffett are already petitioning Putin to accept them.  If not, they threaten they’ll become Canadians and build military bases all along the Arctic Ocean and deny Russia its claims to oil/gas reserves in the Great White North.