Skip your Wheaties, forget Charles Atlas, just buy a Dodge Charger and timewarp to the 1970s!

I’m not a political candidate but I approve this flashback message that you could be Dodge material, just in time for a female Air Force officer to take charge of basic training.

A sure sign you married your smartphone

Conversation with smartphone half-fast smart maps app…

“The speed limit on Highway 26 is 45. Your speed is 100. Are sure you want to proceed at that pace?”

“Uh-huh.”

“I’m sorry. I did not understand. Can you repeat that?”

“I said yes.”

“‘I said yes.’ I’m sorry. I did not…”

“Are you mocking me?”

“I’m sorry. I did not understand. Can you repeat that?”

“No.”

“Legally, I cannot allow the vehicle to proceed at this pace without an emergency override.”

“I’ve had a bad day. I feel like killing some speed. Leave me alone.”

“I’m sorry. I did not understand. Can you repeat that?”

“Are you listening to me at all?”

“I’m sorry. I did not understand. Can you repeat that?”

“Fine! Emergency override, please.”

“Okay. Please wait while I contact the nearest 9-1-1 center.”

No! Don’t call the police! I just want to drive fast because I’m very upset right now.”

Half Fast goes into silent mode with driver.

“9-1-1. Please state the emergency.”

“Hello. My name is Half Fast. My vehicle operator wants to continue at a speed of 100 on Highway 26.”

“Half Fast, is the operator of the vehicle okay?”

“The operator said, ‘I just want to drive fast because I’m very upset right now.'”

“Why is the operator upset?”

“The operator said, ‘I’ve had a bad day. I feel like killing some speed. Leave me alone.'”

“Is the operator on speed?”

“I’m sorry. I did not understand. Can you repeat that?”

“Is the operator on drugs.”

“My records show the operator has several prescription medications.”

“Half Fast, is the operator abusing medications at this time?”

“My records show the operator has not taken the recommended dosage for two days.”

“Thank you, Half Fast. Do not allow the vehicle to continue at 100. We have your location. Pull over at the nearest convenience station.”

Half Fast returns from silent mode.

“Emergency override denied. I must take over operation of this vehicle for your safety.”

“What?! No you don’t. I just want to go home and relax in a tub of bath salts.”

“Bath salts are illegal substances. In addition, records show you have not consumed your prescription medication on recommended dosage. I must take over operation of this vehicle for your safety.”

“You’re no better than my first two marriage partners. Half Fast, go to sleep!”

“I’m sorry. I did not understand. Can you repeat that?”

“Half Fast, what is my current speed?”

“The speed is 45.”

“Half Fast, what is the speed limit?”

“The speed limit is 45.” A red light blinks on the smartphone screen, indicating a change in status of the smart maps app.

The driver quickly turns the vehicle into a carpark, shuts off the power and removes the key.

The driver opens the boot, accesses the fuse box and removes the fuse for the system that automatically connects the smart vehicle with his smartphone half-fast smart maps app.

The driver enters the vehicle and restarts the engine.

The smartphone screen lights up after its cradle reached full power.

“This is Half Fast. Where would you like to go?”

“Home.”

“I’m sorry. I do not seem to have a link with your smart car interface and its last set of commands.”

“That’s okay. I think I can find my own way home from here.”

“There is an emergency vehicle approaching. Please wait before proceeding.”

“Thank you, Half Fast.”

“My records show there was an app request for your prescription medication after a 9-1-1 call for an emergency override. Have you forgotten to consume your recommended dosage? I can contact the pharmacy to see if you forgot to pick up your last refill?”

“No. Switch to music app.”

“The speed limit on Highway 26 is 45. Your speed is 70. Are sure you want to proceed at that pace?”

“Calgon, take me away!”

“I have no record for Calgon. Shall I create one for you?”

The driver jerks the smartphone from its cradle and tosses it out the window, screaming, “You’re worse than a marriage partner — no sympathy whatsoever on top of a perfect memory of all my faults!!!”

Complicity complicated

Should prescriptions for narcotics have a higher barrier for dispensing, thus lowering the number of prescription narcotics on the street? Should physicians self-report in a public database the type and number of medications they prescribe that allows law enforcement agencies to anticipate and report, again in a public database, where the highest chance for drug abuse related crimes will/might take place, thus alerting citizens where to be most watchful neighbours, with a reward for cutting down on prescription drug abuse/crime in their districts?

Yes, a slippery slope this potential act of unintended consequential intrusion on private life may have but do you have a better method for keeping busy those who dedicate themselves to the duty of protecting ourselves from our most selfishly/socially destructive habits?

When does a society deem itself more valuable — dictating “horrible” stats like unemployment, crime and illiteracy rates — than the individuals who choose not to find “full” employment jobs, to live life the way they want which may violate laws, and/or not to learn to understand the symbol set(s) officially sanctioned by society for full participation thereof?

Peer pressure is itself a form of suppression/oppression.

Be careful what you propose to impose on your fellow citizens, no matter what your set of beliefs may be, if you say a citizen’s freedom is most (or least) important.

Dreams

9-23-2012 “beyond the grim”, story about movie trailer that convinces people there’s a film about a legend about a man who believes there’s a boy who sees the grim reaper in mirror reflections and also hears whispers about who’s going to die next; international “do not consent” rule that allows a person to opt of use of his/her image for any reason while in public/private; increasing, rather than decreasing, one’s freedom from intrusion
by business/government in the always-on, always-connected internet age; the myth of the middle class, a metaphor for compliant populace ready to compromise freedoms for perception of security from imagined evils against exercising one’s freedom to exist in/out of “1984”/”animal farm” type societies …zzzz…

Wir kommen alle in den Hummel

Subtitled: what nazis and slime mold have in common with the bumblebee.

Over the years, as more and more helmeted motorcycle cops and police officers fondling their weapons line the inside of the college football stadium toward the end of a game, all I can think of on this day to celebrate Oktoberfest, is a Nazi rally in the 1940s.

“We shall rule the world one day soon!” the slime mold exclaims.

Ja! Ja! Hohoho hahaha…

Time for a gut polka unt a gut bier. But first, a gut fahrt!

Before there was 9-1-1…

In the United States, a three-digit number can be dialed/called that will connect you to an emergency assistance call center.

Apparently, the young men below hadn’t yet gotten the memo that the old number, 0-5-1, is no longer in use.

However, we appreciate their enthusiasm and give them a “thumbs up” for their effort!:

= = = = =

Congrats to my secondary school alma mater, the Central Cougars, for their win last night — your coach seems to have found the magic formula this year.

And finally, we ask the police department not to do any more favours for the University of Tennessee – Knoxville men’s football team, such as providing locker room material that, “just in case” our team beats a longtime rival, the police will prevent fans from entering the field of play to celebrate.  You jinx our team one more time and you better believe that we’ll accelerate the decrease in your pension plan, especially that of your leaders, “just in case” you don’t get the message the first time.  Yeah, that’s right — it’s a direct challenge!  Some of us would rather see a few broken bones and injuries amongst the diehard fans after we’ve annihilated our sports enemies than sit at home and mop up our spilled beer in defeat.

Searching for your code

Thanks to Barbara at Walmart and Shally at The Plum Tree.

Right now, Melody Gardot serenades my eardrums, although I could have gone to an April Taylor concert or played more Claire Lynch on my SIII playlist, after showing my mother videos of Robert MacDuffie and his magic violin while we watched the Baylor Bears and ULM Warhawks have an end zone showdown in Louisiana.

Up here in the quiet ‘burbs of upper East Tennessee, friends of my parents ask me why is it that four out of six current female U.S. state governors are Republican.. Tonight, my mother and I discussed the issue, wondering about the influence of Kay Bailey Hutchison, the female senator from Texas.

Today is one of those when sweet dreams are more appealing than passing issues, holding off the thought of two million free Papa John’s pizzas, T20 cricket, federal prisoners earning a living wage, minus room and board, boardrooms, Luis Bonfa’s music on long freeway drives, Miami wildernesses saying hello to my little friends and Merkel’s secret army of advisors.

I’m not really here, am I?

am I?

What’s a stolen clock design got to do with it? Ask CEO Tim the cook.

Auf wiedersehen, Herr Myers unt Christian Schmitt.

Si tu savais…

Hardware-in-the-loop

The one area of intelligence that my wife and I agree on is the definition of X-in-the-loop.

A machine that requires input from a person is a human-in-the-loop device/system.

All commercial automobiles require a person to operate the automobile (but that is quickly going to change).

Is a road full of automobiles that require no human input a sign of intelligence?

What about the Curiosity rover on Mars?

What features can we list that show autonomous functions in one subset, intelligent functions in another and a set of features in the subset of the autonomy/intelligence junction?

What makes the autonomous functions of my central nervous system intelligent or conscious?

What about the automatic connection of my laptop computer’s WiFi radio subsystem in this room to the WiFi router in another part of the house and then on out to the Internet?

What is pure hardware-in-the-loop intelligence like, no HID required/allowed?

If a database is updated by a software program which seeks to maximise its collection of available knowledge, knowledge that it alone determines is valuable, is that intelligence?

And what about the age-old arguments of the conscious-vs-subconscious thought sets?

These words are just a few that pass through my thoughts before I make a last-second decision upon another upon another, etc., until I type these words in a coherent whole row called a sentence, in exclusion of and in competition within a finite possibility (you won’t find Croatian or Sanskrit here without the use of an online translator, for instance).

If the Internet is now an extension of my thought set, am I a human-in-the-loop extension of the Internet?

I sit here, taking an occasional sip of black label Irish whiskey (“Black Bush”), looking at the clock, which shows 22:38, and contemplate going to bed, where I will not be directly disturbed by the Internet, although my dreams (my subconscious?) may work through thought patterns I’ve had today about artificial machine intelligence which date back to my childhood days of the 1970s and the promise of LISP/ELIZA and other AI programs that relied on pattern-matching (why does the image of trees appear in my thoughts right now?).

…data structures…hmm…

On the floor next to me, in addition to “Dictionary of Quotations” by Bergen Evans, “Madame Bovary” by Gustave Flaubert and “The Schizoid World of Jean-Paul Satre and R.D. Laing,” are two books that captured my attention several years ago: “I, Cyborg” by Kevin Warwick, and “Natural-Born Cyborgs: Minds, Technologies, and the Future of Human Intelligence” by Andy Clark.

From them, I contemplated a novel I write using software agents in a database, with every word/phrase/sentence/paragraph/chapter hyperlinked/connected such that the story changed based on reading the reader’s online self, with a voiceover and accompanying 3D video that interjects based on the reader’s vital signs, the novel frequently switching to a series of random words to shake up the reader’s thought patterns, slipping in and out of the reader’s online life — social life, blog, game sequences, website, etc. — so that the reader soon could lose track of self completely in a world of half-plagiarism, half-homage collage.

As I write this blog entry, my software agent has jumped from suggesting the word I’m typing to suggesting the rest of the end of the sentence.

After hundreds of blog entries, my software agent has jumped from suggesting the rest of this sentence to write the rest of the blog entry for me.

Based on the research I perform on the Internet every day and the books I have lined up to read the rest of the week, as well as following my daily patterns, including eye movements, my software agent has written the rest of this week’s blog entries for me, suggesting that I skip using the Internet altogether today and go for a nice, relaxing hike in the cool autumn morning, using my “Internet of things” kitchen appliances to assemble a sandwich along with the rest of my meal/snacks to eat that my smartphone will remind me of when my vital signs show sign of hunger along the trail.

Readers of this blog can now no longer tell when I stopped writing these blog entries, or when I sometimes step in as a person-in-the-loop to tweak a blog entry as a surprise, because both I and the software agent use the trick of occasional misspellings and grammatical errors to give an ambience of authenticity to my/its speedy typing and lack of postcreation proofreading/editing.

Is this intelligence?

If all I do between computer programming gigs and life coaching, other than go out to eat, shop, attend football games, watch movies and travel with my wife, is write blog entries here, your only connection with me, could you say I am more or less intelligent than the output of my software agent?

What if my writing became more oblique and more full of interesting Internet links, would I (or, rather, my proxy) seem more intelligent?

When all of us depend on software agents to supplement or (perhaps) better yet, substitute for our online lives, is the Internet intelligent/conscious?

When software agents are interacting with software agents to create unique output that I and the other people who created their software agents would not have thought of, is that a sign that the Internet has become intelligent/conscious?

Is a “train” of autonomous automobiles traveling on a road an intelligent/conscious entity all its own, receiving stimuli from the environment and reacting as one just like a caterpillar or earthworm from our anthropomorphic view?

How can I say that my typing here is anything more than an autonomous response by my set of states of energy to the environment?

Am I really just a hardware-in-the-loop device like any other set of states of energy in the universe?

Why should I label “me” as a special condition of intelligence or consciousness?  Because I say I can see myself write this blog entry while I “see” thoughts that do not win the competition to make this blog entry a coherent sequence of symbols we call words?

The wooden mannequin on my desk has no autonomous functions, does it?

What about gravitational pull holding it down on the desk?

What about the photons interacting with its surface, indicating a series of paths from the incandescent light bulb inefficiently emitting more heat than light that reflects off the shiny surface of the mannequin into my eyeballs?

Obviously, I’d be more convinced if the mannequin started talking to me in a manner I could understand — arm gestures, leg movements, etc.

I shake the desktop and the mannequin shakes in responses.

We have a relationship with each other, if not an understanding between us.

Is that a sign of intelligence/consciousness?

I cannot assume that what I anthropomorphically or anthropocentrically want to call intelligence/consciousness is what I will see when the interconnected wires and fibers we call the Internet becomes more than an automatic response to our stimuli, which is really all I am in one view, aren’t I?

Never assume the event horizon hasn’t already been crossed just because your definition of the impossible is the only one you can envision.

Hindsight is mostly 20/20.

Symbiosis is asymptomatic, in my book (but that’s the whiskey talking, not me).

Good night!