My friends in the American sport known affectionately as the NFL have argued with me that just because they like wearing tight pants, gloves and fancy, shiny, bejeweled hats does not, in fact, imply that they are anything more than normal heterosexual men, neither gay nor bisexual, and certainly not cross-dressers or transsexuals.

Well, who am I to counter-argue?

After all, my fat-to-muscle ratio is entirely out of proportion to theirs and my 40-yard dash is more like a 40-yard wheezing shuffle.

Don’t get me wrong.  I like a good argument.

Let’s look at some examples of what a good football game could look like if we decided not to take the players at their word.

Like this one, a nice, muddy reenactment of the Battle of Pearl Harbour.

Now, compare it to its “opposite”, a muddy NFL game — is there really any difference?

I mean, if women are willing to play football in their skivvies, what are guys all wrapped up in pads trying prove?

Let’s take another look: helmet-to-helmet hit vs. the Battle of Hastings vs. NFL players at their toughest vs. other guys in outfits dancing.

I don’t know…is there that much difference?  Seems like the first video was the toughest of the bunch.

Of course, what takes place in the locker room afterward may seal the deal but it’s not my business who likes taking group showers.

I won’t bother you with comparing ballet performances to NBA games — you’ve surely already seen those comparisons….or NHL games to Disney on Ice…or…Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson in a tutu???