Went to the petrol station for a fill-up this afternoon.
The attendant ran right up when I’d pumped only for a few seconds.
“Sorry, guv’nuh. New regulations — can’t put more than seven bullets’ worth of energy in the ol’ tank.”
I couldn’t believe my ears.
I drove home to meet the heating oil salesman.
Same story. A few squeezes of dinosaur juice in the oil tank and he was ready to go.
I asked if he knew where I could get some coal. “Sorry, ol’ chap. Guv’ment regulations and all. Been sold out since this morning.”
I’ve got me wife and kids bicycling in the basement, charging the batteries for our house since this dad-blasted rain’s been pouring down for days, rendering our solar panels practically useless.
Looks like we’ll be walking from now on, thanks to our government that has to pretend it’s in charge every now and then, glosing over the fact it’s beholden to lobbyists and foreign investors.