What is lambda over pi?

In the part of the world where I burn fossil fuel to push a four-wheeled vehicle over paved roads, I often encounter math geeks proudly displaying an unusual symbol that I can only describe as lowercase lambda over pi.

These geeks refer to themselves by a moniker that makes even less sense than the symbol — the Crimson Tide — expressing their sheer delight that math equations equate to broken bodies on a field of play, preferably of young men on the other side of the line, some on “offense,” some on “defense,” and some on “special teams.”

Where did this mathematical symbol originate and what does it mean, precisely:

Beware Greeks geeks bearing gifts — that’s all I have to say!

Finally, a quiet nod to a humble man who preferred anonymity for taking one step on behalf of his species in appreciation for the math, engineering, science and technology that allowed him to put his bootprints on a natural satellite circling our planet.

Thanks to the kind folks at the Main Dish in Meridianville, Alabama, who served up a delectable meal for my wife and me and told us about a show on the tellie called Restaurant Impossible which features the family and decor changes that transformed an old ice cream parlour interiour into an elegant roadside steakhouse.  Casey — blonde hair or brunette — your service was perfect.

POV

Wow!  What a controversy!

The World Health Organisation, the World Trade Organisation, People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals and the National Labour Relations Board ruled today that television broadcast of children’s games, including the Little League World Series and high school football, directly violates international child labour laws.

The UN Security Council reached an impasse, with the U.S. and China both agreeing that exploiting children in order to sell junk food and advertising is a basic tenet of the UN charter and should be respected as such.  The Ad Council supported the agreement, as did former world leaders Tony Blair and Taro Aso (麻生 太郎).

The technology company, Apple, denies any involvement in exploiting child labour — it only employs adults whose labours, by happenchance, might have been exploited when they were youngsters.

More as it develops.

A laptop computer hiccups

Having sampled life, I have a taste of, if not for, many lifestyles.

My freshman year at Georgia Tech, I mentioned at least once before I was part of a fundamentalist Christian organisation that insisted young coeds should not mingle except in group situations, in order to prevent immoral thinking or become seduced into devilish acts.

The organisation was run by a nice, married couple, who taught that music could be uplifting and right for the mind as long as it didn’t contain heavy, thumping beats or reached a climax, both of which implied sexual acts which are private matters in the bedroom between two people married to each other to procreate children as a blessing of God.

Otherwise, music should be calming, meditative and glorifying God.

In the same year when I participated in that group, I went to dance clubs, listened to my roommate playing in a jazz trio, marched in the Georgia Tech band, played baritone horn in the Ga. Tech Navy ROTC band (enjoying an enlightening week at Mardi Gras with them) and attended fraternity parties.

Thirty-two years later, I see myself agreeing with the one statement of that nice couple, that if one is going to feel one with the universe (or connect with one’s religious teachings), one should listen to calming, meditative music.

The changing of the guard in religious music, the transition from choirs and organs to rock bands and electric guitars, indicates the church of my youth is not the church of the youth of today.

Of course, I don’t step inside churches very often but that’s a horse of a different colour crossing a creek that it won’t drink water from.

Regardless of one’s belief in or practice of origin stories, one finds a way to affirm one’s self image.

My self image is that of a funhouse mirror, a multisided magnifying glass or crystal ball, which reflects and distorts photons and other particles/states of energy.

Meditating on the self image is, for me, the sounds of nature, a Bach cantata or an E. Power Biggs organ recital.

To go into a church and listen to loud electric guitars and thumping drumbeats is pure entertainment, not meditation.

I still enjoy jazz.  I listen to punk rock.

But they are my concentration on the affirmation of others’ expression of their self images.

It is interesting, sitting here putting these words and sentences together, rereading their implications and asking myself why I wrote this blog entry.

Why?

Because the block of time that defined the subculture of my youth is a museum of sounds and images, a museum I can visit only in my thoughts and can share most easily with the peers of my youth who understand oblique, obscure subculture references without explanation or looking up on the Internet.

The next generation decides what the definition of self image affirmation will be, taking into account the previous generation’s input but creating their own mix of sounds and images.

In my museum, quiet meditation is a basic part of who I am at 50 years of age.

Or, to repeat the maxim, “if the music is too loud, I am too old.”

Back to the storyline currently taking place in the unmapped borough of Progress, Ecuador

An insider inside the insidious secret buildings of an unnamed organisation shared secret inside information with me secretly inside a restaurant where the old-fashioned switcherooski trick of placing a USB stick inside the secret sauce of a sweet dish delivered a soothing sensation.

In other words, I learned why children in certain neighbourhoods are encouraged to open the valves on fire hydrants.

For years, the unnamed organisation has tracked vehicles by placing pedestrian tracking devices on them — namely, fluorescent dyes and radiative markers — that allowed surveillance personnel to follow a quickly-fading trail of vehicles passing through these uncertain, certain neighbourhoods.

With GPS trackers, the ability to tail a suspect has changed.

However, the pedestrian methods still work.

So, yesterday, in cooperation with local unnamed authorities, I placed a few untraceable chemicals in my power washer fluid so that vehicles passing through my neighbourhood and driving through the liquid crossing the road in front of my house can provide backup data for the GPS trackers.

Also, some parents who have signed on for “Track my kids at any cost” program will be given the appropriate data to approach their children about their unregulated behaviour patterns.

Needless to say, military institutes for the improvement of teenagers have, as usual, tapped into the database to refine their prediction algorithms for future enrollment preparation.

Meanwhile, Central and South American countries are deciding whether to prove once and for all that the UK, with its depraved and decadent royal family members, is ripe for a full-scale invasion, aided by years of secret infiltration of British organisations through liberal immigration policies.

In the old days, invasions were carried out by a large armada.

Those days are behind us.

These days, invasions are decades-long in implementation, ensuring that the invaded country never sees what happened to it.

“Divide and conquer” is meticulously carried out in excruciating detail, through propaganda campaigns delivered by organisations within the invaded country itself, by using subliminal messaging of the highest order (disguised in the lowest common denominator).

Common courtesy requires that I tell you no more.

Besides, I accidentally swallowed the USB stick in the styrofoam container of delicious leftovers.

Nothing like a normal bodily function to delay the release of more data, such as what you were doing taking a shortcut through a specific neighbourhood and why Ecuador has more positive press than a country that should be basking in the warmth of Olympic fever but, instead, was brought to its virtual international knees by the simple act of diplomatic immunity for a simple whistleblower.

Horatio Hornblower would be proud.

When you have a whole species dangling from your fingers like marionettes on the small stage of the theatre of life, for your sole soul entertainment, life is good.

Laura lost 45 pounds and Jenn continues to celebrate her good health after a debilitating accident.  Life is better.

Overheard in a theatre

Sadly, I guess the times of my passive-aggressive father are over.  In his day, I doubt we would have heard someone make such a bold, impolite, immoral statement as, “Well, yes, Bill Clinton cheated on his wife, but he was the U.S. President, for Christ’s sake.  Of course, it makes sense that he still represents the Democratic Party.  ‘W’ was a whore man himself before he conveniently found Jesus and cooperated with the Muslim Saudis in selling out American oil interests.  He ‘conveniently’ still represents the Republican Party, too.”

So many cynical observations about promiscuous politicians and teachers, so little time to tell them.  Thank goodness, the film “The Campaign” was enough to tie me over for a while and fill in for such a bleak political election campaign season here in the ol’ US of A, where neither of the two primary candidates for U.S. President can talk about why the American economy is doing so poorly due to their being owned by the same worldwide corporate lobbying interests.

The last two paragraphs are examples of the influences on my youth, which I am trying hard to remove from my set of operational memories.

It is while we prepare the storyline to ease over to another planet (thanks, in part, to the friendly folks at Need Another Seven Astronauts (NASA)), where we will talk about life in the universe that does not center on our species, as puny as it is in comparison to the history of helium or cilia or syphilis/gonorrhea.

I am in a mischievous mood, wanting to make fun of others for the sake of making fun of others with no purpose in mind other than to entertain myself here, rather than in my thoughts alone.

Have you ever sat in a dark theatre, felt a constriction in your chest, the left side of your body going numb for just the briefest of moments, and wondered, “Is this it?”

I can feel it again right now.  Maybe it’s just a muscle twitching after I swept the driveway yesterday.  Or indigestion.

I hope so.

I really would like to sit and laugh quietly for many days longer.

If not…well, it was a good ride.

“It.”  Hmm…

“It” is nothing more than my life, a diversion for other sets of states of energy programmed to reproduce.

I never reproduced.

Scientific studies indicate that reproducing at my age is a recipe for heightened risk of autistic children who would drink out of plastic bottles made with BPA and filled with high fructose corn syrup, take antibiotics and become obese, and, finally, succumb to the onerous labels of “BIG” — BIG farms, BIG Pharma, BIG…you get the picture, if you subscribe to the notion that it’s an “us vs. them” world.

I never met BIG.  I don’t know “them.”  They are just words to me, diversions from a goal one gazillion years in the making, looking back 1000 years from now to see what we’ve accomplished.

Milestones, not accusations.

Actions, not passive disagreement.

A colleague of my father jokingly called my dad an imaginary engineer because of his master’s degree in industrial engineering (even saying so to my father a few days before he died), which always irritated my father.  Now, an industrial engineer is in charge of the largest company in the U.S. by stock value — Apple.  Who gets the last laugh?

That’s the thing.  If this moment is my last one, do I want to have my last thoughts focused on a clever joke or expanding the life of this planet into the cosmos?

I don’t want to spin a passive-aggressive take on a reworked warmed-over punchline.

I sure don’t want to be remembered for simply being clever.

I don’t want to be remembered at all.

This universe is it, all I’ve got, the only verifiable theory of life as I know it.

If I don’t give my minute/tiny/invisible/forgettable place in life a serious thought, who will?

If I don’t have my father around to argue with that the world is not falling to the Nazis and Communists all over again, to whom do I direct my attempt to make peace with my father and our generational gap?

If I don’t have my mother in-law around to convince that the United States is not about to go into another Great Depression (or worse) because a man who is too young (and black) is the U.S. President, to whom do I say that it’s not just white people and old people who care about the American Dream of [democracy and/or capitalism] and freedom for all?

It was a tough decision to say I would never vote again because I care about the higher ideals of our country and our world.  The everyday arguments of this time, of my generation, are perennial — that’s why I don’t care about them.

My visions are hundreds and thousands of years in the making, carrying on a long tradition passed on to me by others, regardless of the current form our organisation of life (i.e., civilisation) may look like.

War and the desire for peace are perennial.

Using available resources until they are depleted and worrying about the consequences are perennial.

That’s why I don’t care about them or the ways we beat our chests like good primates in unison about our alignment with issues such as these.

In the big picture, our species is unimportant.

We aren’t going to agree with the big picture until something else comes along to change that view.

Even then, we’ll argue that our ancestors — the keepers of our origin stories — were right and we’re the center of the universe.

So be it.

You can keep perpetuating those stories in whatever form you like, if it makes you feel better as you procreate.

As long as you keep in the wee spot at the back of your thoughts that you’re working for a larger cause than our species.

I use “cause” cautiously and facetiously because it implies more than what a single blog entry in a continuous storyline is supposed to be about, bringing up imagery of the influences upon my youth again, when this is solely about the way the universe works non-anthropomorphically.

Enough for now in this chapter.

More as it develops…

There are insults and there are insults…

During the election season, we get primetime slime, lame duck sauce and politically impolite pokes at the opponents’ staff of out-of-work scriptwriters looking for a handout every four years.

But, if you want real insults and perhaps not necessarily ones that your virginal mother or saintly son wants to hear, watch these videos:

Meanwhile, we wait for a response from the SOS signal sent out into the universe…

Paraphrased bumper stickers of the day

I think these are what I saw on the back of a vehicle:

“In a perfect world, a guy could fix his relationships with duct tape and WD40.”

“A real job interferes with my plan for world domination.”

Thus, my thoughts are swayed by ink patterns on a piece of plastic backed with removable adhesives.

Miranda and Angelique have slimmed their figures.

Melissa is tutoring.

And I, at 50, am trying to find a place in the world where I can sit back, letting the next generation figure out what to do with our species’ place in the universe.

I have decided not to vote in the next nor any following election that my political districts have available to me.

No longer do I care about political issues that may or may not affect/effect my existence as a node in a social network.

Public/social medical funding doesn’t matter to me.

Public military project funding doesn’t matter to me.

Oil/gas/coal extraction doesn’t matter to me.

Environmental caretaking doesn’t matter to me.

Political office seekers do not matter to me.

From my years of experience, nothing in politics matters to me.

The issues that concern me are outside the influence of politics.

The freedom to enjoy my freedoms is mine to call what I want, free from the wants/needs/pleas of others.

I cared about the environment because my grandmother was such a strong believer in flower arranging and the Federated Garden Clubs.  She’s dead so I no longer have to pretend to care about flowers, flora, fauna or environmental issues of any kind.  If my drinking water is polluted and I die younger than I might have otherwise, so be it.

I cared about the military and spy books/movies because my father and my father’s [nonbiological] father, as well as my seventh great-grandfather, served and supported the military.  My sister’s husband still actively serves in the military and my wife works for a military government contractor so my level of noncaring is lifted just above zero for their sake.  Otherwise…zip.

I drive/ride in motorised vehicles and use electricity at home (I wouldn’t be here without it) so, despite my nonplussed attitude, I support, through marketplace activities, the oil/gas/coal/hydroelectric/solar/wind/geothermal industries.  Otherwise…nicht.

My deceased brother in-law worked for NASA as a physicist so I supported space exploration for his sake.  As the pain of his early death passes from my current emotional state, my support of space exploration wanes.

These are the steps I take to free myself from the influences of my youth and the influences of the youth of those who’ve gone on before me.

I/you can see that as long as I participate in our market/economy, I physically support activities that I disagree with philosophically (or for which I’ve stopped supporting mentally).

Compromises are a regular part of who I have been and continue to be.

My death is mere decades away — let me enjoy my remaining days without interference from those with whom I no longer agree or align.

If you have a cause célèbre to advertise, feel free to pursue in front of someone else’s face — I am not interested.

I have heard enough of my species that I am happy talking to myself here day after day, sometimes imagining these stories are written for the raccoons in the attic, the squirrels chewing on the side of the house or the spiders in the front seat of my car, even if they’ll never understand a blog entry I’ve written.

My mother’s motto, if she has consciously thought of one, has always been along the lines of “Don’t do anything that’ll make the neighbours talk about you.”

My father is dead but my mother is still alive.  It is time to give attention to her unofficial motto.

Let me find some quiet place where I can read a book, watch TV, surf the ‘Net and relax here in obscurity.

I first voted in 1980.  The last time I ever voted was in 2010.

Happiness is being happy with myself in this moment.

Happiness is an imaginary set of thoughts.

I am happy; thus, I am a figment of my imagination, a physical fact, a fragment of this corner/center of the universe.

Just like labels on a piece of plastic plastered to a plastic bumper.

13,772 days to go, give or take in the give-and-take of a tree bending with the wind, its roots slowly dying.

A stack of DVDs on the sofa, crickets chirping and hotrods burping outside

While installing the “Complete New Yorker” on my old laptop PC, I performed a search for a recently-deceased comedienne.  Some cartoon results:

  • Frank Modell, Dec. 13, 1969 — “No, we would not like to hear the same line as delivered by Phyllis Diller.” (Teacher, surrounded by children dressed for a Nativity play, to a little girl costumed as an angel.)
  • Whitney Darrow, Jr., Aug. 4, 1975 — “Guess what I dreamed last night. I dreamed I was at a dinner where Bob Hope, Phyllis Diller, Buddy Hackett, Milton Berle, Alan King, Flip Wilson, and Henny Youngman were roasting me.” (Woman talking to her husband as they eat breakfast.)

Other snippets:

  • Talk of the Town, James Lardner, Sept. 3, 1984 — “[Dr. Albert Lowry, “America’s most interviewed real-estate educator,” at the New York Penta Hotel] told about some of the deals he had made, one involving some property that he had bought from Phyllis Diller. He traced most of the financial failures of the real estate field to a tendency to forget the old maxim “Caveat emptor.” Dr. Lowry is the author of the best-seller “How You Can Become Financially Independent by Investing in Real Estate.” He offers further advice in a two-day seminar that costs $495. Many of those in the audience of the free lecture swarmed to the registration table with their checkbooks at the ready.”
  • Talk of the Town, William McKibben, Sept. 17, 1984: “…the Amazing Kreskin, a mentalist who has made nearly 300 appearances on the Mike Douglas, Merv Griffin & Johnny Carson shows. Phyllis Diller once called him ‘a male witch who should be burned at the stake.'”