Junior Achievement

Without a doubt, melancholy will rule the day in waves, small and large.

The storyline does not wait.

Deadlines take on a new meaning but do not change.

Today is a transition day, where family members act like archaeologists piecing together the specifics of a person’s life preserved in cryptic notes, printed emails, neighbourly comments, and sympathy cards.

Where news of the world fills headlines without fail.

Singular.  Plural.  Pluralities.  Moralities.  Light ties.  Bright skies.

First edition hardback books increasing in value.

Walls covered with family photos.

Satellites spinning overhead.

Solar system settlement plans settling down.

Pop singers buried with melodies and harmonies echoing in solemn chambers.

Time to pick up the flag and carry it on, honouring my father and those who established subplots that crisscross unnoticeably.

We’ll update the signposts.

The Committee will reconvene, because committees have a joie de vivre of their own, wanting to multiply indefinitely.

You might ask, “What is next?”

For instance, how do we jail law offenders in this instant while planting seeds to prevent people from becoming law offenders in the next instant?

Who is looking at the numbers, asking why a person intentionally commits a crime and wondering how to make that person a positive influence on others before becoming an ex-convict for life?

Would mentoring that person at a younger age have prevented criminal tendencies?  Does mass media have a role to play in playing down the glamour and [in]convenience of a life of crime?

Is crime a universal trait of our species just like a fox will steal a chicken from the hen house or a cow will get its head stuck in a barbed-wire fence trying to reach blades of grass just out of reach?  Is a caterpillar’s camouflage a crime against nature?

When are property rights a hindrance, an enabler of criminal activity?  When should laws be broken or rewritten?  What is the definition of a person and thus a person’s “natural” rights?

Old thought patterns give way to new design pathways for us to put in place, setting examples to follow rather than punishments to pass out in the quest for expanding our knowledge and exploration of the universe.

A privately/publicly funded spacecraft approaches the International Space Station, a tiny step in the establishment of our species as extraterrestrial beings.

People perceive that a blind activist is traded for the sale of a movie theatre chain.

It’s time to give you the future in words and actions, not perceptions.

Time to influence youth to set goals that seem impossible today, yet readily achievable tomorrow.

Facts, rather than promises, will fill tomorrow’s headlines.

A Planet of Self-Actualised Individuals

First of all, a big “Thanks!” to Terry at the AT&T landline phone repair group.

Although Trish and Trina of AT&T weekend support had great phone voices when I talked to them about my home landline having problems, they simply saw (presumably on computer screens) a report that my landline was fine, which they courteously reported back to me on the AT&T mobile phone I used to report unacceptable issues with my AT&T landline.

Unfortunately, friendly as they were, it did not solve the landline problems of strange pops, clicks, hums and, intermittently, no dial tone and/or no ADSL service.

Terry drove 35-40 miles across town yesterday and investigated the problem.

It appears, from his description, that a bad card in the box down by the highway (a DSLAM, perhaps?) was the source.  In any case, he swapped the landline connection to a different port and Voila! service as clear as a bell (Ma Bell to the rescue) and quiet as a mouse (no squeaks, though) are the lack of sounds I like to hear.

Terry, you’re my wife’s Hometown Hero of the Day!

Many more to thank, but on to other matters, next…

What does it take to make you happy?

In a network of seven billion people, how many do you know who do not seek material wealth or social/public accolades, finding, instead, a deep sense of self-worth and self-satisfaction by simply living in the moment, irregardless of current circumstances?

When you tell a species, that has developed a way to externalise the internal imagery a central nervous system has nurtured through social and self education, to let loose on an individual basis, putting social conforming norms aside, what do you get?

Does the species create a new thought process that makes former definitions of success irrelevant?

What about those who still seek the old ways of defining glory?

What about subcultures that depend upon forceful means for maintaining their existence?

Some will defend their subcultures to the death.

Some will accept/believe that enough people in their subculture want to perpetuate their peaceful means/way that they feel no need to defend themselves, accepting newcomers with differing beliefs into their lives, letting their day-to-day activities, rather than words or force, serve as examples.

In fact, our personality traits define the subcultural practices to which we best belong or toward which we tend to gravitate.

We do not choose the influences upon us during our formative years.

For a few years, we are nearly helpless, defenseless, and then, as we become aware of our individual strengths/weaknesses, we not only react to our environment, we proactively shape our environment.

As a child, I was raised primarily in a suburban environment.

When I was strong enough and tall enough, my father placed me behind a lawnmower and told me to get to work.

Eventually, I performed the lawnmowing duties for my neighbours, pricing my work according to the financial means I perceived — the elderly, retired lady next door paid me a few dollars but I was more grateful for the glass of fresh, cold lemonade or iced tea she made me than the money — I was taught that mowing was not just a job but a form of social duty.

Every dollar I earned was one less dollar my parents felt obligated, up to a point, to provide me to maintain the lifestyle of a suburban teenager who liked to walk to the store and buy a candy bar, one or two bottles of soda, a pack of chewing gum and a comic book, sharing them with my friends who got their money in ways I never thought to ask.

Meanwhile, national governments motivated military troops to maneuver into position in official war zones to protect and define the lines that divided major lifestyles because the idea of global economic trade had not been fully fleshed out yet.

That was then, this is now.

Kids still mow lawns, with girls as likely to stand behind the self-propelled mower as boys.  Just as common are professional lawncare service companies that sweep through neighbourhoods, mowing grass, trimming hedges, planting flowers and rearranging topiary animal displays.

Enough profit is generated by our modern global economy to free up millions of people from work, and thus their social duty, if they don’t want to.

“Free up?”

We still have to breathe, eat and sleep so we are not free from our bodily needs, no matter how financial and mentally secure we may be.

We are free to exercise our imaginations.

More and more often, we are free to express our imaginations publicly.

In a global economy, what is the connection between the general culture where global economic activity takes places and the subcultures that were once isolated from each other when warzones were acceptable means of controlling subcultural interaction?

A popular term right now is “Internet censorship.”

Every subculture has terms and ideas that are taboo.

Hate crimes, deity insults, unapproved bombings/killings, unsanctioned robbery/theft…

We redefine our actions in accordance with subcultural rules.

Behind every wall is a person who doesn’t want to be there for one reason or another, if only for a brief moment.

The grass is always greener on the other side.

Many rules/laws define my existence at this moment — grammar rules, computer operating system rules, the law of gravity, the local/state/national/global rules/laws that govern my ability to communicate across an interplanetary electronic network…

I see friends and acquaintances come and go as Internet firewalls are loosened/strengthened because of the perception that governments feel the need to protect subcultural taboos, defending their lifestyles, including mine.

All of the actions of my species I take into account as I look back at us 1000 years from now, seeing how we became who we will be (or are, depending on perspective).

Once colonies become independent, like children, they redefine their ideas of self, sometimes maintaining previous definitions and sometimes stretching their imaginations toward something we can’t imagine today.

One day, we see the visible light and invisible energy of galaxies as the foam on the sea of the universe, and the next day, we declare that perhaps the galaxies are all there is out there — mathematical formulae created imaginatively and then tested against observation.

Either way, we’re still a superset of states of energy that calls itself a species that depends on other species that live on/in us to give us the freedom to say we’ve reached the state of self-actualisation, happy to do whatever makes us happy in the moment, socially connected/defined or purposefully isolated individually.

Or, for some, a happy moment in the future we believe will exist for us, if we just work harder/smarter for ourselves and/or for the social good/[sub]culture to which we say/believe we belong.

Trying Not To Impress Yourself

My family sorts out the news that the VA medical staff does not believe my father has ALS, bulbar option and, besides, he’s a “wanderer” who likes to roll a wheelchair up and down the hallways because he’s not being intellectually challenged on a constant basis anymore, which the staff is not prepared to handle; therefore, we expect the Mountain Home CLC is not a home for my father for very much longer.

Instead, the medical staff thinks my father’s dementia is related to a virus.

As to the dysphagia/aphasia, I don’t know their actioned thoughts on the matter.

I will work with my family to prepare the next phase of my father’s treated illnesses.

= = = = =

Meanwhile, the Committee is getting antsy, too.  Members have been wandering off on personal agendas and not sticking to the major plan.

Tempus fugit!  Only 13886 days to go.

One of the subcommittees reported to me last night in the middle of a swing dance.

On a side note, it doesn’t seem that many decades ago when those of us who worked in the government contracting business were told to keep our lips sealed because “Boris is listening,” implying that Soviet spies were hanging out in diners and bars, waiting for Americans to let slip secret information.

Now, many Russians are members of the subcommittees, sharing important data back-and-forth, equally, with their American counterparts.

It’s the eastern European, subSaharan African, and rogue Chinese populations that we keep a careful eye and ear upon.

Anyway, my two colleagues from Russia, Natasha and Nina (a chemist and physicist, respectively), showed up at the dance last night to discuss serious business.

It won’t be long now before we launch the next probe.

In that electromechanical space explorer we will secure our latest invention.

For years, alchemists thought the most precious product they could make was gold.

Not anymore.

Soon, water will be more precious than almost anything else.

That’s what Natasha and Nina reported to me last night.  They had perfected the low-energy creation of water using the latest in solar power generation material that reverses the processes of plant transpiration.

Do you know how hard it is to translate a conversation into dance moves?

Especially when you’re pretending to be a newby on the dance floor?

Thank goodness, it was one of the first training sessions that the Committee assembled millennia ago.

I have my childhood trainers to thank for their patience in using my unique dancing skills (or lack thereof) to convert thrashing around to the beats of pop music into codeable semaphore-like communication.

We wanted to celebrate last night but the timing wasn’t right.

Such is the life of the Reluctant Leader.

Always working, working, working, dedicating even his most private meditative moments into coordinating the next moves of our planetary life toward outward expansion.

You’ll be glad to know our efforts to reduce the population growth of our species on this planet are succeeding.

As much as I love all of us here, I need to remove some of our resources for daily living to use in other parts of the solar system, meaning I need to curtail our overzealous grab of raw materials for massive pop culture production and divert them to the Committee’s Special R&D Department for Life Reconfiguration, Deep Space Travel and Celestial Body Settlement, or SRDDLRDSTCBS, for short mnemonic purposes (better known as Sir Double-D Lard Stick Bus).

One day, my successor will take solar system resources for galactic exploration but you’ll find out more when the time is right.

I put many of our youth out of work for “The Man” in order to give you a more important assignment — be courteous to your elders and respect their requests to make our species the first one to say to the other species on this planet that we’re putting this former celestial home behind us.

Quit dawdling out there — let’s get to work and have fun in the process giving our descendants something truly worthwhile to call us their ancestors!!!

Happiness, Amalgamated

Soon enough, while Mr. Gibbs stomachs colorectal cancer, I return to the imaginary future.

All the time, my father spends his days and nights in unknown cognitive condition.

The EU squanders. Or flounders.

Useful youthful years are spent away from dedication to full employment by/for the global economy.

Whose vision is here for me?

I write here, right here, where goals and victories are created by us for us.

Subcategories of subcutaneous subcultural attributes gain strength in building buildings, gilded, geldings waiting by the bay.

This moment is my future. Was. Will be.

I compete with/against my former dreams.

Listening to the likes of Claire Lynch, Ben Bosco, April Taylor and the Lunabelles; pump/reed organs; piano; mobile phone ringtones in sync with automobile brakes and squeaking steering wheels.

Thanks to Robert, Tracy, Kelly, Jody, Eloise, Rick, and Wendy today at the VA. [Yes, it was windy today, too.]

I write as if the future already happened [it did].

That’s the way it was.

Doesn’t matter who, when or where.

The future has a way of controlling its destiny [in retrospect, of course].

A class of ’82 SCHS graduate behind the counter at DQ.

Leaving the farm at 18 only to return and buy the one next door.

Do you know who’s going to Germany?

Who’s been to Myrtle Beach?

Whose father owned a TR3 and then a Porsche?

Who knows the best SNFs in town?

Does anyone want my father for a guinea pig for ALS/dementia/depression brain enhancement research, getting his professorial input via scribbled one-word responses to start with?

How will we deal with autism/dementia in solar system colonies not equipped for nonessential task assignments?

How far do I stretch my thought set to truly take in all seven billion of us, completely attached to the global economic employment model or not?

Every one of us is a data point in the scheme of turning carbon-based lifeform equivalents back out into the galaxy.

Your future has been plotted and trended.

Time to tell you what you’ll be thinking/doing next.

The reluctant leaders plods on in his clodhoppers…

Unexplainable Behaviours of My Neighbours

My fourth trip.  I consider myself one of the lucky ones, able to travel from Earth to Mars and back as a pilot and host for lifelong experiences.

How many science fiction novels and short stories I read before I turned six and entered Genius School!

Here I am, in my prime at 21, ferrying my fourth group of travelers, some who’ll expand the major settlement, New Hope, some who’ll choose to open new outposts, and a few dignitaries who are making the trip simply as a goodwill gesture, reaching out a hand to show unity between our two biggest planetary settlements, Earth and Mars.

Doesn’t seem that long ago when one of the Martian exploratory teams discovered a large deposit of a rare radioactive material and declared it belonged to the people of Mars, not the financiers and governments of Earth.

The debates on Earth of sending a military enforcement team to quell the “upstarts” went on for a few years before it was decided to let Mars start its own independent governing body and fall on their faces from failure, hopefully.

Little did the Earthians expect to see independently-minded wealthy families send a mass exodus of their offspring to increase the population and supplies on Mars, staking claims in remote regions as longterm investments which have paid off for many of them.

Ferrying refined ore to Martian moons was the first step in establishing a reliable transportation hub where the ore was used as input for autonomous 3D printers that evaluated the input of humans and created the most efficient landing-and-launch system ever devised.

Ferrying people and ore is pretty much the same, the only difference simply the conversion of life support system equipment space to extra storage for ore/supply transport.

I look forward to a few months of R-n-R fun, setting up observation posts for a company on Earth that’s interested in selling holiday packages to Martian workers.  The freedom to pick where I want to set up the posts will allow me to choose whomever I wish to accompany me on my forays across Martian plains, mountains and valleys.

Of course, there are the inevitable conflicts with globalised Martian corridors that are offlimits to settlement, cordoned off for uncommercialised access channels to outposts settled and claimed.  I know I’ll run into illegal settlers who’ve squatted on the most picturesque settings which would serve as perfect observation posts.

I can usually bargain with these types, though, because they inevitably need one thing or another to keep their hidden settlement going, including extra hands and 3D printer parts (sometimes a combination of the two).

Eccentricity is the rule, rather than the exception here.  Everyone is an expert and the greatest authority on the subject of some obscure facet of Mars.

Well, it’s time to get out of Martian orbit — our travelers have seen enough of the surface from up here, I surmise — and head toward a moon spaceport.

Which port shall I choose this trip?  Ahh…a mental ping from a former observation post companion, waiting for me on Phobos.

Phobos, it is.  “Fellow passengers, nothing to fear — we’re turning this boat toward Phobos.  Hang on!”

If it weren’t for the battery life…

If it weren’t for the battery life I’d keep using the resistive screen of the 7-inch Sylvania Android 2.31 tablet, which meets my basic needs for checking email, listening to Internet radio, looking at some of my favourite websites (as well as a few random ones for edification) and maintaining a daily blog.

That sums up the life of one mortal human being tied to the electronic social network as defined/updated by us in this moment together.

I believe we have arrived back at a blog entry in which the storyline we’d left where the reluctant leader steps back into the picture and tells us how things are going on the Committee, don’t you?

Either that, or release random ASCII character sequences that represent the latest cracked password of a heavily-guarded secret location and let the world of script kiddies have fun for a day.

Sold by Jennifer Nye — independent consultant — the wax of a block of Amber Road ™ Scentsy wax melts in a bowl atop a Morocco warmer which sits in the place where a spider web/dropping covered book by Paul D. Ackerman used to collect dust.

As the room fills with the hints of smells of an exotic bazaar, let us step into the shoes of the reluctant leader and see what’s going on…

Hi there!  Reluctant Leader here again!  Just the other day I was nibbling samples at a shoppe called Nothing Bundt Cake, remembering the scene in some Greek-themed film where a character tries to pronounce the word “bundt.”  In front of me, an eager man watched my every move.

You know the type, always gauging the customer’s desires, trying to meet the character’s needs, catering to the curmudgeon’s every whim, no matter how surly he may be while stroking his curly, unkempt beard.

That was me, the Reluctant Leader, in ordinary disguise, acting upon my urge to Manage By Walking Around.

You see, the Committee is back in crisis mode (is there ever a moment we’re not?).

As you’re fully aware, we coordinate the activities of people you would say are aligned with major political public business entities called nations.

It’s our policy to leave pretty much well alone the individual decisions of those who feel they have been destined to reach the highest offices of their politically-oriented business paths.

For instance, we could predict when the leaders have to use toilet facilities very easily but we’ve learned it’s best to let the leaders think they’ve decided on their own, unpredictably, when they feel the urge, regularly or irregularly (in fact, it was one of my predecessors who won a wager because he accurately predicted when and where George Bush deposited his meal in the lap of another dignitary).

Do you consider yourself one of those average citizens who is mentally engaged in silent conversations with or makes extemporaneous, expository speeches to the people around you about the goings-on of the elected or appointed officials in your geopolitical zone, and get emotionally involved in the actions of officials outside your geopolitical zone?

Chances are you will, if you don’t.

In addition to herding all seven billion of us toward establishing offworld colonies, I have the assigned goal of keeping you believing that world leaders are not actively talking to each other about the apparent rogue actions they take.

Some of you know better.

The Committee is composed of direct representatives of major trends in motion, including the most common sociopolitical movements about to change your life forever.

Because trends range in age from a few fleeting milliseconds to many centuries, the Committee membership varies accordingly.

Just the other day, I found an ancient-looking mummy propped up into a dark corner of the Committee Conference Center (sounds formal, but the room is really just an old cave in, at this time, an undisclosed location near some of you).

I started to ask if any of the Committee members knew where the mummy had come from when it spoke.  Turns out the mummy is an old member of a line of Celtic leaders who’d hope to take over the world a dozen or so centuries ago, but when the vote came up, the mummy had fallen asleep and did not awaken until I started poking around in his pockets for spare change.

He gave me some wisdom that I’ll share with you as soon as I translate the curse words he had for me into something more family-friendly.

Always trust your Mummy to tell you the honest truth about yourself!

Anyway, it’s getting close to lunchtime and I’ve got a few errands to run.  Afterward, I’ll sketch out the plots, subplots and false trails we’re planning to place in the popular news media to keep you clenching your teeth or nodding your head in your belief that subpopulations are out to get you or out to support you, depending on your mood we’ve set at the time.

It’s seems silly spending so much of my time making sure your idle moments are filled with what we want you to think, but if it gets us closer to permanent settlements on other celestial bodies, I’m game.

Does that mean I have to stop calling myself the Reluctant Leader?  It’s not like I completely relish all the fine details of putting subcommittees in action to plant ideas in blogs, tweets and street protests which inspire editors and producers to send their reporters out to fill columns and video screens with the news we want you to use and spread…

But I’m just a character in a blog and that’s my only choice, isn’t it?

Global Branding Enigma of the Day

Currently residing about 80 miles from the Helen Keller Birthplace in Ivy Green, Alabama, I found this global branding of sunglasses using a blind person’s name an interesting enigma: how many people in China know who Helen Keller is?

Do you?

You should.

But is she more important a phenomenon than tardigrade egg survival in the rigours of space travel?

Time to read through my daily list of friends’ blog postings for other gems.  Example:

Friday the thirteenth

by effimai

I’m planning to stay in the house today as I’m not saying I’m superstitious BUT I had enough bad luck last year without adding black-cat-walking-under-ladders-breaking-mirrors shit aswell.

I don’t want to believe in it, and on a normal day if I stubbed my toe while rushing round to get ready I would silently swear every swear word I knew and then get on with my day. But if it was Friday the thirteenth, earlier when I did just that, it was just so so typical and expected because it was this day that it happened.

I don’t really understand the whole superstition thing especially with salt. If you spill the salt you have to spill it more by throwing it over your shoulder. Therefore making a lot more mess. Also you’re not meant to put new shoes on a table. I often, very often buy new shoes but I don’t have a table so its all ok now. The black cat thing I don’t believe in, because if you’re driving a car at 70mph and a cat crosses the road, the cat will be dead. So it will be the cat’s bad luck.

One of my friends when we were younger was walking to school with me and she avoided stepping on every crack in the pavement the whole mile walk. There was a couple of paving slabs that were so broken she had to jump over them. While jumping over them she fell and broke her ankle in two places. So obviously has the worst luck ever.

SO today I am going to avoid the outside world (And not JUST because i’m hungover, really hungover) but because bad things may happen. But the good luck charms are always worth looking for. Grab a four leaf clover, try and get a seven year warranty on a mirror and travel back in time to meet a chimney sweep.

iPad Motion Sickness Syndrome

I have friends who’ve achieved and accomplished their whole lives.

Here, on the 11th of April, while I look out the window at the jungle of a yard that keeps my house cool in the summer, my friends’ stories stand out in my thoughts.

Meanwhile, my sister and I (with help from my wife and mother) assemble a set of notes and medical reports to give to medical experts to help understand where we can go to get a firm (or as close to firm) diagnosis for my father’s medical predicament(s).

The tree leaves and limbs do what they do best when breezes pass over the undergrowth, grabbing my attention as joggers and walkers avoid speeding cars on the road ahead.

Disco light dances across the window screen and onto the end table holding up a power strip, grow lamp, computer monitor, scented oil lamp, 3Com modem cable, incense bowl, light timer and a book a friend gave me titled “It’s a Young World After All.”

I am open to hearing and reading about alternative views concerning the history of our species.

I am willing to accept my friends’ opinions about their achievements and accomplishments.

I do not fret about belief systems in the majority or the minority and how they may or may not sway the thought sets of people both young and old like the wind shapes the forest around me.

There aren’t as many seedpods on the redbud outside the window as there were last year.

There are thousands of people who buy handguns and rifles every year and will never use them, storing them for a collection or trading them for something that looks more useful than the ones they first bought.

It is part of our global cultural interaction that drives some to buy weapons for self-protection on an active, daily basis.

There are those who travel great distances to provide basic medical care and deliver simple foodstuff in order to raise the standard of living in regions of the world not well-connected to local/regional caring social networks.

And then there are the few who seek membership in the Galactic Exploration Society.

In this moment, when the actions of others — friends, family, acquaintances, and instantly formed/lost friendships — find spaces in my thoughts, I look around the room of my study/meditation zone and wonder how/if happiness is contagious.

Some days I pursue the wrong activities.

My father is a man of action more than contemplation.

I have always been more of a man of contemplation rather than action.

From my father’s U.S. Army days in Germany during the Cold War to his most recent days of teaching students at ETSU as an adjunct professor, he found happiness in social engagement.

I find happiness in analysing interesting data more than in stressing pre-arthritic joints while swinging a scythe.

Both of us are products of the influences of ancestors, peers, descendants, and commercial interests.

My father grew up to put country first.

I grew up to put planetary exploration first.

The influences upon him influenced me.

The same goes for the achievements and accomplishments of my friends.

The Sun heats the planet and air pressure changes create wind which passes through the forest, influencing my thoughts and the thoughts of people passing in front of my yard.

Staring at an iPad, my head bent down while my finger slides news articles across the screen, like the scenes around me flashing past when I’d hold on to the rails of a merry-go-round during recess in elementary school, causes motion sickness.

While telling the tale of our species from a long perspective, how do I incorporate the images above into one where we’re looking at our achievements and accomplishments that’ve put people on the Moon and cybernetic explorers on millennial-long journeys?

It’s not the brain of Stephen Hawking that I want to preserve — it’s his thought patterns that are interwoven with the society around him I want to perpetuate, ensuring that they continue to evolve unabated by the physical presence of a brain or a body bound to a wheelchair.

My father, however, is a different story.  His physical AND mental presence are both key parts of what he means to me and my desire to push our species beyond primal tendencies to create dystopian nightmares where survivalist weapon hoarding is considered normal behaviour.

It’s also more than that but I’ve allowed myself to become a mortal human, subject to daily interruptions of bigger dreams, distracted from the plan set in motion by a group of people I’ve spun into a literary device called the Committee to capture the attention of those prone to primal thought patterns so that we can achieve a goal 13,904 days from now with all 7+ billion of us fully involved as sets of states of energy in the visible part of the universe with which we’re most familiar.

Are hopes and dreams intimately tied to happiness?

Perhaps.

How much does the passing of a single redbud leaf in front of the window have to do with dust devils on Mars?

Do you understand the immense distance between our planet and any celestial body with potential compatible communicable sets of states of energy that would interest us more than as laboratory experiments?

A lesson I learned one summer during sales training week for Southwestern Book Company decades ago still applies today:

The story concerns twin boys of five or six. Worried that the boys had developed extreme personalities — one was a total pessimist, the other a total optimist — their parents took them to a psychiatrist.

First the psychiatrist treated the pessimist. Trying to brighten his outlook, the psychiatrist took him to a room piled to the ceiling with brand-new toys. But instead of yelping with delight, the little boy burst into tears. “What’s the matter?” the psychiatrist asked, baffled. “Don’t you want to play with any of the toys?” “Yes,” the little boy bawled, “but if I did I’d only break them.”

Next the psychiatrist treated the optimist. Trying to dampen his outlook, the psychiatrist took him to a room piled to the ceiling with horse manure. But instead of wrinkling his nose in disgust, the optimist emitted just the yelp of delight the psychiatrist had been hoping to hear from his brother, the pessimist. Then he clambered to the top of the pile, dropped to his knees, and began gleefully digging out scoop after scoop with his bare hands. “What do you think you’re doing?” the psychiatrist asked, just as baffled by the optimist as he had been by the pessimist. “With all this manure,” the little boy replied, beaming, “there must be a pony in here somewhere!”

That, my friends, is why we get up in the morning, making miracles every day.  No matter how much we may be distracted by the mundane, or even happy being perfectly anonymous, there’s always a chance that pony will appear out of nowhere and change our perspective.

In fact, I guarantee it will.

Look at me.  I never thought a tablet PC could cause motion sickness until today, which has completely changed my desire to write the Next Great App.

More news from around the weather

Just when this reporter thought he had seen it all, earlier today the administration announced, during an election year, no less, that it has banned personal pet ownership.

The official spokesperson for the administration, Whyte Lizun Taultayles, explained that although the administration has no direct bearing or influence on the fluctuation of petrol prices that deeply affect the feelings of citizens who rely upon transportation devices to carry them from one retail purchase to another as well as to their four or five retail sales and/or fast food jobs just to make ends meet…whew!  Ms. Taultayles had to take a deep breath there!…the administration’s own privately-funded public thinktank had determined that ownership of pets or companionship with species not our own is solely responsible for the excess use of petrol that, unlike stories of speculation or market manipulation by highly-influential donors from the oil industry to the current administration (and to every administration before or after), can be tied to dragging down what should be the great news of our economy’s strong growth in these uncertain times caused by unspecified unfriendly international interests and rogue nations.

From the 9th of April onward, any person, family, household, business, nonprofit organisation or international NGO caught harbouring animals not belonging to the species Homo sapiens will be regarded as a traitor of our nation and subject to permanent retainer in baggage compartments and boxcars that have been rigged as mobile detention centers in which interrogators will ferret out all members of secret groups tied to the breeding, care and distribution of nonfood species.

The agriculture industry has stepped forward and declared that their members are in full compliance with the new executive order.  Any farmers overheard giving their cattle or sheep nicknames are not to be construed as treating the animals like a pet; rather, the farmer is merely using a simple mnemonic device to separate the best of the best in breed for future sales calculations.

Political pollsters are stumped that such a drastic measure would be taken this late in the election season.  Analysts are scurrying to determine if there is some new metric the administration has dreamt up to sway a particular segment of potential voters because none of the core voters of any of the main political parties has ever mentioned the desire to tie petrol prices to pet ownership or the pet industry in general.

Meanwhile, the famous author, Benton Revenge, has released a new autobiography about the 62 years her father served as a janitor of the local public school and the effect it had on Benton.  The book promises to reveal sex scandals, the change in quality of chewing gum over the decades, the evolution of stuff kids paste inside their lockers and the cycle of the role of authority that teachers play in the lives of students, administrators and faculty members like Benton’s father which had an important role in turning Benton into an independent, unmarried writer rather than a teacher and mother, seeing as it denied her the access she craved to hoard guinea pigs in broom closets on school property because her father was obsessed with keeping things in their proper places, being a shining example of the perfect student in the “golden age of public education,” he has reminded his daughter on more than one occasion.

The Russian tycoon, Petr Petroyovich Petr Petroyovich, not to be upstaged by James Cameron or Jeff Bezos, launched an expedition to recover one of the Soviet exploration Lunokhod vehicles that ended its mission on the Moon.  We await word from Chinese tycoons about their grand plans for membership in the oneupship club.  Carlos Slim has denied the need to participate, simply being happy as world’s richest person.

Flowers for Algernon’s World According to Garp

Both my mother and I, tired from the up-and-down discoveries, research and changes of/about/for my father, experience back pain and stiff necks.

That in itself is not scary.

Nothing is scary.

Some forms of ALS are attributed to environmental factors.

Some neuromuscular diseases/syndromes are first diagnosed by treatment of back pain and stiff necks.

That in itself is not scary.

Some things are scary.

Writing this blog entry is scary enough without thinking there’s a local environmental factor or two (and probably not Max Factor but who can be sure that all the ingredients in cosmetics are safely influencing the environment while heating in the sunlight and mixing with methane in landfills?).

Any one who has common sense will remember that the bewilderments of the eye are of two kinds, and arise from two causes, either from coming out of the light or from going into the light, which is true of the mind’s eye, quite as much as of the bodily eye.

You see, humor is a set of scenes folded together like origami, which is, as you know, a combination of the words “original” and “pastrami,” not, as you might think, of the words “O” (as in the exclamation, not the Story of…), “rig” as in to construct something or fix a match (but possibly as in killing off large portions of the Gulf of Mexico), and “ami,” which some interpret as the acronym for the american meat institute but actually stands for the German colloquialism of the indigenous American people of Taiwan who use ambient intelligence to predict world events far in advance of us ever living as a world civilisation to prove their validity.

Therefore, watching the rise and fall of my father’s life in retrospect, with a partially predictive eye on the future, turns intelligent people into the bumbling idiots all of us are on a daily basis.

Because I’m tired, emotionally drained and otherwise able to hold a fork in my left hand while tapping the fingers of my right hand on a tablet…I’m not even sure where that image was going, it was so plain and ordinary.

Well, except to say perhaps my father, whose mental state is such that he knows how to put a shoe on and tie a lace into a knot but he doesn’t know a left shoe from a right shoe or even what type of shoe he put on one foot while picking up a different type of shoe to put on the other (and unfortunately, he isn’t Patch Adams trying to be funny), falling just short of ornery when someone tries to get him to put the correct shoe on his foot, whatever that means…I’m not even sure where that image was going, it so plain and ordinary for someone in his condition.

I took my mother to her first ALS support group session tonight, meeting professionals like Michelle, who has worked in the dental industry for over 30 years and had several useful tips for people with swallowing difficulty and/or advanced stages of ALS to maintain dental health, as well as meeting family members of ALS diagnosees and one ALS diagnosee himself.

Oh, the tangled webs we weave in our social interaction.

I just want to be that hermit living in the woods, digging ditches by day, that my mother reminded me again yesterday I said I wanted to be when I grew up.

Instead, I’m here, at this keyboard my father used for years.  Well, no, this keyboard is only a year or so old, belonging to the set of accessories/peripherals that went along with the desktop minitower Dell PC labeled inspiron 531 that uses Windows XP and is probably older than I thought.  Anyway, I sit in the chair that has rolled back and forth in front of this old student desk that my father has used for a computer station lo these many years.

Sounds bounce around in my thought set, mixing languages, nonsense sequences and other imagery one can associate with the upbringing of a member of our species, this set of states of energy devoted to getting more Earth-based sets of states of energy off this planet and away/out.

The opposite of the hermit’s dream.

‘Tis easy to be mixed up.

‘Tis easier to apply the mix to practical solutions, rather than figuring out the relationship between Solutia and Monsanto or ALS and FTLD.

Thanks to many, including Marc, Andy, Sagar, Barbara (happy belated birthday), Pal’s #13, Traci, Monica, Patty, Daniel, Christine, Allison, and many more…

This is Manic Rick Hill*, signing off before the caffeine overload (an ode to Pepsi is due except I don’t want to diss my cousin Barry’s employer, Coca Cola) kicks in and assists/facilitates my burst of wordiness that has no meaning in the weoinb2323:”3$^T#NdSLKER.

*you have to guess which Rick Hill am I, having a name that is rather commonly uncommon in these parts: