Is there a magnitude to the trip I’m preparing to take?

If I won’t be me anymore, then are any comparisons valid?

Using the resources available in this solar system to create a projection/launch system had its good days and its bad days.

I would thank all the individuals involved in making this happen but, when they figure out this solar system will be destroyed or vastly altered in order to send one representative to another universe, well, you can imagine how thankful they’ll really feel.

We’ll never know if it was really worth the cost.

That, my friends,  is true faith.

If you want to test the will of the people, ask them for the ultimate sacrifice.

History in the making and their unmaking at the same time.

You, me, us – we’ll never know if any of this was real.

However, you always knew the creation and accrual of more complex ideas/technology served one purpose.

I wish I was glib.

I want to give this a dose of humour to ease a bitter taste any of you may have about the only reason you’re here as part of the seven billion and growing sets of states of energy in what looks like a locally quiet area for organic lifeforms.

Like I’ve said, I don’t want to be the person I am.

I didn’t ask for this role.

I would gladly trade with the next person.

Somewhere, sometime, I drew the short straw and nobody told me until it was too late.

Now, it’s just a matter of time.  Waiting.  Planning.  Constructing.

We’ll keep you busily focused on your lives, families and friends such that you’ll rarely notice what you’re doing seems to point to the same goal as everyone else on the planet.

Throw enough emergencies, threats of imminent danger, chemical rushes called love, and competitiveness into our lives and most of us forget whatever it was that seemed so important a few days ago, let alone a few years ago.

Everyone has the assigned task of being the individual set of states of energy with the propensity for something special.

You’ve heard it over and over and it’s true.

Meanwhile, I want to discover more about why I am the way I am before I am no longer.

How much did Dr. Benjamin Spock influence my parents while they raised a little redheaded boy that turned into me?

When did I first hear about Henry Thoreau and civil disobedience?

Did Thomas Mann have an effect on my first attempts at writing?

Why was I always fascinated as a kid in pretending to be blind, deaf, missing fingers, arms or legs, and generally challenged to be the person I was not?

If I die before 14,306 days is up, who will have the knowledge set that makes for a ready replacement?  And if there is no ready replacement, then what?

Only I can want to be alive enough to put our whole species to work on this effort.

Noble and ignoble.

Motivating the rest of the organic lifeforms to participate takes a little more effort.

But my team of experts is working on that.

Atom smashers, give me new information, if you please!

The wonders of the absence of, the freedom from feeling connected to, the news of the day is hard to describe.

There is a running joke among the philosopher/humourist crowd about those who sit around reading the news and get infected with the “I’m directly responsible for world events” fever.

Bloggers and tweeters and social network feeders seem most susceptible to this condition that has permeated all walks of society throughout history.

You can use humour to relieve yourself of the imaginary burden of carrying history on your shoulders or you can build a network of people who actually change history.

But if you just sit around dreaming about dreaming about making change, then dreaming’s your output, not facts.

I use my network to dream about humour.

The network of my thought set, that is, extended to infinity like some moderncubistpostindustrialartdecoupage painting.

And now I find myself here, working with the scientists and programmers who’ve solved the multicellular division problem that will allow me to disperse and rejoin myself in another universe.

They’ve told me to expect a quantum disturbance.

I’ve told them to expect this to serve as a diversion from another storyline that will be told some other time.

I don’t want to say goodbye to the essence of me – my viewpoint, my style of humour – but it might be the price I’ll pay to go over to the other side.

A trailblazer for future generations that may never know I existed because I did but did not change history in any significant way.

Dropping pebbles in a pond at a scale I cannot imagine.

Inventing a whole new universe, without anthropomorphising it, without using communication methods with which our species is familiar.

And by inventing, pretending or not pretending to channel the “energy” of that universe to describe it here.

Tunneling, if you will, through our reality into that which is indescribable.

Imagine the encouragement of algae blooms in order to feed off that which feeds off the dead algae.

Twisting into braids to find the weave that best replicates something you’ve never seen or read about.

Trusting but never knowing you’re right.

A better chance of meeting microorganisms, or non-inert chemical/physical reactions, than anything else.

Not needing an audience dumbed-down to accept a suspended disbelief repeated all over again.

Knowing but never trusting you’re right.

Ignoring the backbeat of reality, reality, reality, reality, reality,… drummed into your thoughts.

Breaking yourself into microorganisms so you can slip through the keyhole and start anew, many parts of the old you dying along the way.

Never coming back, or if returning, appearing in so different a form that neither you nor the ones who knew you will know you.

Disrupting the balance of mass and energy.

Purposefully losing touch with reality because reality really doesn’t matter – an imaginary way of creating a new kind of anti-matter machine.

Creating reality that others like you cannot see or touch without giving up their precious, vested forms attached to and leaning on still others.

Still.

Not a moonshine still.

Peace.

Not at peace.

Moving.

But not moved.

An alien experience beyond alien experiences.

Getting there in, what would appear to you, billions of years.

But you’ve got to start sometime.

Fourteen thousand, three hundred and seven days to get somewhere.