Tag Archives: satire
While I lay dying…to tell a joke
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Flyfishing lures, too.
And gumbo soup mix with freeze-dried okra.
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Time to find my favourite fishing spot on the shores of the Itchnbiteme River and cast my new handtied lures as an excuse to drink beer, of course.
A nod to redbox and Walmart. ATH20, aussi. Gigi’s. Jeanne and my godfather, Jim.
Marsha and Linda and their stampinup booth. Hosner Sharpening Service. My wife’s stampinup demonstrator work, without a doubt.
Lady Vols.
The Busch (not beer) brothers.
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How do you say it in this species, again?
Do you grant amnesty if a leader abdicates? Do the sins of the father (including siring children out of wedlock) pass down to the children or just the grandchildren?
How does the chain of command work?
How do you maintain a level of military-industrial complex expenditures without going broke? Where is the real profit, excluding the first profit off the R&D and the second profit off the deployment, which are essentially the hidden costs of running a dominant society?
How do I translate the exclusive love and trust of/for/by my wife into universal signals?
Life is full of missed opportunities – which ones are tests and which ones are classes you tested out of taking?
Somewhere, probably long gone, my written memories up to 1985 rotted or are rotting in a landfill.
Denise Robinson had many of the logical arguments I made in building a personal philosophy. Brenda Craig may have others.
I have most of the letters I wrote to my wife through the years (hers to me are with the writings that entered a landfill 26 years ago).
I embrace my imperfections in 2011. What else shall I do in unravelling the personal from the universal?
All seven billion of our lives are important because we are serving as nodes in a network that is calculating how to save itself from self-destruction.
I am just one of the nodes acting in my best behaviour for our sake.
My self-importance is a hindrance but every day I remove my own emperor’s new clothes to expose my inner workings and nonexceptional states of energy.
We are made of the same substances, you know.
You can be whomever you please, if you’re willing to shed the old masks and charades and start anew.
It’s only as easy or hard as you want it to be.
NAmE = North American English?
I don’t want to be extinct.
Is your family line secure?
The Voice of Sanity
We threw out the baby. Can we keep the bath water?
Does clothes dryer exhaust reveal the detergent you use?
By assuming the background of this canvas is the subculture in which I live/work, I present to readers, through their interpretive experiences or experiential interpretations, the idea that this background is an acceptable form of living.
Indeed, it is.
I can get in my car, waste petrol to drive 1 mile, walk into the big box store to buy replacement halogen T-bulbs so my wife can continue her scrapbooking after I return home and replace the burned out lightbulb in the back bedroom/scrapbooking supply room, grab a George Killian’s Irish Red beer, go back to typing and keep track of Bristol racing and NCAA hooping at the same time.
If I want.
When was the last time you played cricket?
Do you have the power to create thunderstorms and waves of lightning where it is seemingly impossible?
Do you keep a salt lick in the backyard in case your freezer supply is running short and you need some more wild game meat?
Have you ever wrestled and killed a whitetail deer with your bare hands?
As a vegetarian, do you know how many animals you’ve killed with your vehicle or by vehicles driven by people who support your lifestyle? What did you and/or them do with the animals/meat?
Trying to get outside this set of states of energy to create originality is going to keep me fully occupied the rest of my life.
A nod to the guy with the Lockheed-Martin hat – I read your thoughts and they were very interesting. I assume your poker playing days are over and the mask has been put away.
My roving eyes are on the move.
Time to figure out which set of emperour’s clothes to write about.
When you know the plans you’re developing/implementing involve something vaster than and outside the realm of influence of your solar system, what does any one of us matter anymore?
I recommend you no longer read this blog, if you exist at all.
What I’m going to type about next might make your ordinary plans far less interesting than they might have been had you given them any thought.
As far as the reason for enforcing the no-fly zone? Well, the atrocities committed by Qaddafi’s family in the name of their personal megalomaniacal entertainment will be sufficiently documented in their spectacular trials before the court of the people by the people and for the people.
That’s the way it’s been and going to be.
Somebody’s always finding a way to revive the Spanish Inquisition.
Morality plays draw the biggest audiences, especially when we find ways to make them personal for everyone. Were you associated with the Qaddafi family and if so, how much?
Do they still tie handkerchiefs over faces facing firing squads?
Cue the dramatic music and teaser trailer for the upcoming persecution of corrupt members of the old Libyan regime.
I’ve ordered my front-row seat. Better hurry, executioners are promising a lot of screams and pleas for mercy.
Aah, repetition. Pro-government forces out of favour once again.
Is a rope too good for Qaddafi? I don’t see him (or his body double) hiding in an underground bunker.
You know that Hillary doesn’t negotiate, don’t you?
I hear they’re creating a new torture chamber – keel-hauling over razorbacks, it’s called.
Women in power – I told you 2010 was a good year for them. Now they’re exercising their right to excise.
And you thought your government’s debt was going to be the death of you!
Merkel, you get a back row seat this time. You had your chance and you blew it with Olde World diplomacy.
Integrity and Entertainment – need DNA testing to see if they’re related?
Let this reporter’s words speak for themselves – you assess the validity for yourself:
Local Sampling
One megadata point does not a trend predict.
Beating trends with a pile of dead sticks, rotting and feeding the weeds groundcover.
Chemistry of the Chimera
First cross-reference of the day.
Have you ever watched the slow progress of skin cancer and you’re not telling anyone because you want to see what skin cancer is all about, taking the risk of metastasising states of energy taking over the rest of your so-called body?
Did your spouse die on your watch and now you’re trying to convince your spouse’s mother to move in with you but she’s hesitant because everything about you – you, your house, your lifestyle, your town (maybe even your own children (i.e., her grandchildren, except for her nonblood relations, a grandson in-law and son in-law)) – reminds her of her dead child and she’s too old/frail to have/want to relive those memories, including an upcoming wedding that to her will dredge up the old memories again? Are you willing to face those facts and let sleeping dogs lie?
Have you realised your joyous anticipation of your spouse’s out-of-town business trips is telling you something you’re trying not to think about?
Do you save an organisation for your own enjoyment by getting rid of people in the organisation who are opposed to you and/or your subcultural icons? Or do you throw the baby out with the bath water and move on to some other form of enjoyment that your subculture has created for you, even if it’s not exactly what you want?
Am I afraid to speak to myself in specific terms here because, although I know no one reads these words, it feels like others misinterpret what I say for their personal agendum/agenda that conflict with the big picture that I and the Committee are painting?
I volunteered to take on the job of sacrificing billions of my kind for something that has an infinitesimal chance of success and which none of us will know if we succeeded.
I also know that when you start destroying whole subcultures for the sake of the culture, you create a subclass of anarchic saboteurs who may or may not get funding from out-of-favour aristocrats wanting to force their agenda back into the limelight.
I realise that some of those on the Committee are the very same aristocrats who fought their way back into a position of power, thinking they’re getting what they want, and me knowing that they’ll ultimately fail, so we throw them a lot of high-profit business their way that has no strong effect on the big picture (although it does drag its progress back in time slightly) and keeps them preoccupied with fanning their vanity.
I once believed a Committee membership was a position of purity and sanctity. I strived to cleanse the main path of my thoughts of signposts pointing to side trails I took to entertain myself. That way, I would be fully focused on my Committee membership and nothing else.
As if the Committee was composed of godlike beings, not another person like me who is full of conflicting wants and needs.
I don’t crave power. I have one simple want and need – freedom for freedom’s sake alone.
Along the way, my domesticated, caged states of energy hypnotised themselves into believing freedom is real.
It’s all relative, I suppose.
The “I” that doesn’t exist fooled itself into existence and now is struggling to free itself from staring at its false sense of self in the vanity mirror.
2011 is a tough year, indeed. So many more millions of people to let die or kill for a purpose I can’t guarantee myself is worth the cost.
Billions in the longterm.
If you only knew what was really going on.
The rest of the Committee laughs whenever they hear me struggle to explain to you the unexplainable, the ultimate nondisclosure agreement.
Giving me the leadership of the Committee was a cruel joke.
I wish I could share the punchline with you – it’s the funniest one you’ll ever hear, making anything else that seems humourous impale your comparisons.
Word to remember me by
Obama: U.S. will not send ground troops to Libya
I’m not opposed to protecting the interests of the seriously vested but what is the definition of “ground” because I’m pretty sure I know what the word “troops” means.
Take a wait-n-see approach ’cause my weight and sea attack approach is…
Wait and see. 😉
It’s one world.
All is all.
What is that LHC doing?
A late message but interesting…
Have I turned enough people away?
I have brought silence along with me today to give thought-clearing an easier time of erasing its existence.
While my network builds ever more complicated business deals and underground/illegal market opportunities, I enjoy my holiday in Tangential Territory.
Is a child nurtured into a life of crime or born with the propensity to do anything the child wants, regardless of personal/social consequences?
Do you continually ask why or put your game pieces into play because they’re the only ones available in the here-and-now?
Theory and free information make for interesting bedfellows, but usually for philosophical nihilists examining dust on window sills to predict next year’s crop production.
I nurture the philosophical nihilist in me because it’s the only way I can serve the criminality and piety in my thoughts at the same time.
It’s what happens when you give up being a parent and become advisor to your species.
Innocence and ignorance are unfortunate byproducts of reality.
If all possibilities belong to an omniscient deity (or ambivalent universe), then one who wants to control the whole game must be willing to fund opposing ideas.
Are you trying to preserve your species or are you willing to preserve any representative of life on this planet that existed in your lifetime (plus or minus 10 lifetimes, to accommodate your statistician’s worry about margin of error)?
Do you tell the players about the rules they follow but cannot see?
Can you be happy and depressed at the same time? I am.
Personal hopelessness is compatible with hope for life itself.
Start with the absence of self and it all makes sense.
All is all.
The scripts have been written – pick one and follow along.
Ignore the labels attached to players’ name. Merely placeholders for people just like you.
When will cinema owners figure out how to project films that incorporate quantum game theory and MMORPG, making the films active parts of the viewers’ future lives because the imaginary fourth wall is no longer there?
Could you cordon off an area of a theatre for folks with mobile computing devices and head/ear pieces to keep sound down so those who are actively participating in the life-within-a-film sub/plot will minimally disturb the passive viewers?
After all, this alternate universe of a blog is doing the same thing.
When you realise a person is just a set of states of energy easily manipulated, anything goes, if you’re willing to sacrifice a personal life for managing the Really Big Picture Show.
Character merchandising is old-school. So are viral Internet campaigns tied to a static storyline.
The right film pulls real-life people (i.e., non-celebrities) into the story while avoiding slander/libel because of the freedom of satire/irony/sarcasm/criticism comedy, if used subtly to make the story serious enough for film purists.
YouTube’s Funniest Home Videos meets Shakespeare in a street scene starring Anne Hathaway’s twist on The Truman Show respectfully filmed in New Delhi about the intersecting lives of ordinary people and their unknown contribution to international business deals featuring major players in global finance negotiating in realtime, with audience members’ investments/comments/roleplaying changing the plot for every viewing so that once the film is completed and a fake plot is resolved, real life takes over and insinuates itself into the next film that traverses space and time until we’re never sure if a camera phone, webcam, traffic cam, film crew or news videographer is grabbing shots of us participating in a film showing in another part of the world right now.
How far and/or how long can you suspend someone’s disbelief?
Would you know if you’re already in a tale of fiction where reality is a playtoy tossed from one to another like a game of hot potato?
You are.
But don’t let me stop the storyline.
Besides, you’re too well trained to suspend your disbelief at this point that I don’t think you’ll be able to see what’s really going on.
At least that’s what the Committee has been trying to tell me so I’ll end my holiday and get back to turning trillionaires into quadrillionaires.
Just so our civilisation will collapse again?
I’m stretching my holiday a little longer. Surely there’s a way to increase wealth while improving our socioeconomic health?
And if there’s not? Well, it just goes to prove some parts of the past might be real after all.
Then what will that say about the supposed fact I don’t exist?
My sin is pride.
treetrunkdings 