A laptop computer hiccups

Having sampled life, I have a taste of, if not for, many lifestyles.

My freshman year at Georgia Tech, I mentioned at least once before I was part of a fundamentalist Christian organisation that insisted young coeds should not mingle except in group situations, in order to prevent immoral thinking or become seduced into devilish acts.

The organisation was run by a nice, married couple, who taught that music could be uplifting and right for the mind as long as it didn’t contain heavy, thumping beats or reached a climax, both of which implied sexual acts which are private matters in the bedroom between two people married to each other to procreate children as a blessing of God.

Otherwise, music should be calming, meditative and glorifying God.

In the same year when I participated in that group, I went to dance clubs, listened to my roommate playing in a jazz trio, marched in the Georgia Tech band, played baritone horn in the Ga. Tech Navy ROTC band (enjoying an enlightening week at Mardi Gras with them) and attended fraternity parties.

Thirty-two years later, I see myself agreeing with the one statement of that nice couple, that if one is going to feel one with the universe (or connect with one’s religious teachings), one should listen to calming, meditative music.

The changing of the guard in religious music, the transition from choirs and organs to rock bands and electric guitars, indicates the church of my youth is not the church of the youth of today.

Of course, I don’t step inside churches very often but that’s a horse of a different colour crossing a creek that it won’t drink water from.

Regardless of one’s belief in or practice of origin stories, one finds a way to affirm one’s self image.

My self image is that of a funhouse mirror, a multisided magnifying glass or crystal ball, which reflects and distorts photons and other particles/states of energy.

Meditating on the self image is, for me, the sounds of nature, a Bach cantata or an E. Power Biggs organ recital.

To go into a church and listen to loud electric guitars and thumping drumbeats is pure entertainment, not meditation.

I still enjoy jazz.  I listen to punk rock.

But they are my concentration on the affirmation of others’ expression of their self images.

It is interesting, sitting here putting these words and sentences together, rereading their implications and asking myself why I wrote this blog entry.

Why?

Because the block of time that defined the subculture of my youth is a museum of sounds and images, a museum I can visit only in my thoughts and can share most easily with the peers of my youth who understand oblique, obscure subculture references without explanation or looking up on the Internet.

The next generation decides what the definition of self image affirmation will be, taking into account the previous generation’s input but creating their own mix of sounds and images.

In my museum, quiet meditation is a basic part of who I am at 50 years of age.

Or, to repeat the maxim, “if the music is too loud, I am too old.”

Overheard in a theatre

Sadly, I guess the times of my passive-aggressive father are over.  In his day, I doubt we would have heard someone make such a bold, impolite, immoral statement as, “Well, yes, Bill Clinton cheated on his wife, but he was the U.S. President, for Christ’s sake.  Of course, it makes sense that he still represents the Democratic Party.  ‘W’ was a whore man himself before he conveniently found Jesus and cooperated with the Muslim Saudis in selling out American oil interests.  He ‘conveniently’ still represents the Republican Party, too.”

So many cynical observations about promiscuous politicians and teachers, so little time to tell them.  Thank goodness, the film “The Campaign” was enough to tie me over for a while and fill in for such a bleak political election campaign season here in the ol’ US of A, where neither of the two primary candidates for U.S. President can talk about why the American economy is doing so poorly due to their being owned by the same worldwide corporate lobbying interests.

The last two paragraphs are examples of the influences on my youth, which I am trying hard to remove from my set of operational memories.

It is while we prepare the storyline to ease over to another planet (thanks, in part, to the friendly folks at Need Another Seven Astronauts (NASA)), where we will talk about life in the universe that does not center on our species, as puny as it is in comparison to the history of helium or cilia or syphilis/gonorrhea.

I am in a mischievous mood, wanting to make fun of others for the sake of making fun of others with no purpose in mind other than to entertain myself here, rather than in my thoughts alone.

Have you ever sat in a dark theatre, felt a constriction in your chest, the left side of your body going numb for just the briefest of moments, and wondered, “Is this it?”

I can feel it again right now.  Maybe it’s just a muscle twitching after I swept the driveway yesterday.  Or indigestion.

I hope so.

I really would like to sit and laugh quietly for many days longer.

If not…well, it was a good ride.

“It.”  Hmm…

“It” is nothing more than my life, a diversion for other sets of states of energy programmed to reproduce.

I never reproduced.

Scientific studies indicate that reproducing at my age is a recipe for heightened risk of autistic children who would drink out of plastic bottles made with BPA and filled with high fructose corn syrup, take antibiotics and become obese, and, finally, succumb to the onerous labels of “BIG” — BIG farms, BIG Pharma, BIG…you get the picture, if you subscribe to the notion that it’s an “us vs. them” world.

I never met BIG.  I don’t know “them.”  They are just words to me, diversions from a goal one gazillion years in the making, looking back 1000 years from now to see what we’ve accomplished.

Milestones, not accusations.

Actions, not passive disagreement.

A colleague of my father jokingly called my dad an imaginary engineer because of his master’s degree in industrial engineering (even saying so to my father a few days before he died), which always irritated my father.  Now, an industrial engineer is in charge of the largest company in the U.S. by stock value — Apple.  Who gets the last laugh?

That’s the thing.  If this moment is my last one, do I want to have my last thoughts focused on a clever joke or expanding the life of this planet into the cosmos?

I don’t want to spin a passive-aggressive take on a reworked warmed-over punchline.

I sure don’t want to be remembered for simply being clever.

I don’t want to be remembered at all.

This universe is it, all I’ve got, the only verifiable theory of life as I know it.

If I don’t give my minute/tiny/invisible/forgettable place in life a serious thought, who will?

If I don’t have my father around to argue with that the world is not falling to the Nazis and Communists all over again, to whom do I direct my attempt to make peace with my father and our generational gap?

If I don’t have my mother in-law around to convince that the United States is not about to go into another Great Depression (or worse) because a man who is too young (and black) is the U.S. President, to whom do I say that it’s not just white people and old people who care about the American Dream of [democracy and/or capitalism] and freedom for all?

It was a tough decision to say I would never vote again because I care about the higher ideals of our country and our world.  The everyday arguments of this time, of my generation, are perennial — that’s why I don’t care about them.

My visions are hundreds and thousands of years in the making, carrying on a long tradition passed on to me by others, regardless of the current form our organisation of life (i.e., civilisation) may look like.

War and the desire for peace are perennial.

Using available resources until they are depleted and worrying about the consequences are perennial.

That’s why I don’t care about them or the ways we beat our chests like good primates in unison about our alignment with issues such as these.

In the big picture, our species is unimportant.

We aren’t going to agree with the big picture until something else comes along to change that view.

Even then, we’ll argue that our ancestors — the keepers of our origin stories — were right and we’re the center of the universe.

So be it.

You can keep perpetuating those stories in whatever form you like, if it makes you feel better as you procreate.

As long as you keep in the wee spot at the back of your thoughts that you’re working for a larger cause than our species.

I use “cause” cautiously and facetiously because it implies more than what a single blog entry in a continuous storyline is supposed to be about, bringing up imagery of the influences upon my youth again, when this is solely about the way the universe works non-anthropomorphically.

Enough for now in this chapter.

More as it develops…

Double Sided Sales Slip Customer Copy

A couple of kids protesting in a church on the other side of the planet taught me that if you want to play with fire, be prepared for the consequences.

A musician who’s part of a corporatised musical group playing officially-sanctioned anti-corporate lyrics taught me that hypocrisy knows no cultural bounds.

You see, I’m all about the power of the people.

But keep in mind that my goal is to move the wealth of many thousands of millionaires and billionaires out of reach of the people.

The “people,” of course, is a meaningless term that can be used positively or derogatorily: “We the people…” or “you people,” and its many forms used to provoke crowds in time for [re]election.

The people get used a lot, don’t they/we?

Keep people distracted while we prepare…

Well, I’m not supposed to tell you what’s being prepared, am I, if I am to maintain this storyline?

Let’s imagine a few possible futures:

  1. It’s clear that changing the habits of billions of people to save themselves from themselves is not going to happen when so much profit is at stake, including just good enough profit to feed the mouths of billions of people.  If you had the opportunity, would you set up a location for your friends and family that is safe from invasion by non-heavily armed people and sufficient to provide you a livable subculture/ecosystem while the rest of the world was experiencing major/negative climate change?
  2. You have great wealth at your disposal and you believe that the global economy is your friend so you spend your billions of dollars trying to improve local economies which, in turn, improve the global economy, increasing not only your chance for survival but the whole world’s, too.
  3. You and your friends in private and public businesses have been testing the theory that living off-world is a sure way to hedge your bets about Earth’s climate change and any detrimental effects it may have on your way of life.  You encourage the use of public funds to affirm your theory while you amass the resources you need to build off-world colonies.
  4. Your family has lived in relative poverty for generations.  You have competed against your peers and created a small empire — it’s time to enjoy the fruits of your labour, cost no object in pursuing a life of luxury.
  5. Your family has lived in the peace and comfort of middle-class living for generations — no reason for you to change the course of history.
  6. Poverty means nothing in your subsistence lifestyle.  Words like “blog” and “computer” do not exist in your language full of nature-based terminology.

All of us are familiar with these scenarios, through personal experience, from someone we know or by popular culture references.

In telling the story of our species in relation to the humongous universe in which we barely understand we live, tying these subplots together is interesting some days and boring on other days.

However, it’s all I have to work with here.

Like going from static cartoon strips to creating animated daily cartoons in writing, if not drawing.

Protestors with machetes will most often lose to security guards with guns, who will always, always, always claim self-defense after discharging their weapons and killing protestors.

My question is this: if the commander in-chief claims credit for killing a notorious villain, does he also take credit for the most number of military suicides of any commander in-chief during his time in office?  If your military has some of the lowest morale on record, then I, in honouring my father’s legacy, have to ask myself why anyone with a military background would vote for you?  Following that train of thought, how many of us benefit from one of the largest peacetime (sorry, I mean “war on terror”) military deployments in history — should we also question re-electing the commander in-chief?  In this case, the Law of Unintended Consequences meets the Law of Diminishing Returns.  What am I missing here?  What am I not telling the reader?  I am not my father so why is there not a viable third candidate for me to elect?

Ahh…the balance of power.  ‘Tis a game that entertains, n’est pas?  Sarkozy and Berlusconi quickly become footnotes in history.  Merkel, like Kohl, is not far behind.  Anyone remember Mikhail Gorbachev or Deng Xiaoping?  Did Greece used to be a country?

It will be no different on the Moon or Mars.  More pioneers, more forgotten history as we scramble to feed, clothe and shelter ourselves from the elements while armchair bystanders question our motives and protest our version of progress that clashes with theirs.

Remember the Golden Rule: S/he with the most power protecting a stash of gold makes the rules.

New university study

According to the University for the Study of University Studies**, a compilation of studies on the investigation into the root causes of paedophilia has demonstrated that there is an indirect correlation between those who believe in and practice polygamy* and those who practice paedophilia.

When reached for comment, the academician in charge, who requested anonymity after receiving threats from people around the world who actively practice polygamy, said, “We can either legitimise and institutionalise polygamy, giving full rights and recognition to those who wish to mate with young women as soon as they reach puberty, or we can continue to find adults confessing they were abused as children by closet polygamists.  Either way, it appears to be not so much an individual mental problem, but a natural progression of a species that has refined social interaction into what cultural anthropologists currently call civilisation.”

To validate the study, the academician recommended hypnotising those accused of paedophilia, such as the Penn State assistant football coach, Jerry Sandusky, as well as those who assist in covering up paedophilia activities, such as Catholic priests and others up the Vatican’s chain of command, to reach their subconscious thoughts and see if they secretly believe in polygamy.

The release of this study has sent shockwaves throughout the community of “true believers” of the Mormon faith as well as orthodox Muslims.  Producers for the TV shows, “The Bachelor,” “The Bachelorette,” and “The Jerry Springer Show,” were not surprised.

Salman Rushdie refused to respond to requests for information regarding a book he is reported to have penned about this very subject years ago but never published.

*Note: there is a small, but not insignificant number of those who believe in and practice polyandry.  The same comments about polygamy above also apply to polyandry, according to footnotes in the university study.

**Due to a concern for their safety, the administration, faculty and staff of the online university that produced this study have also asked for their names and the name of the university to be withheld from this news article, pending approval of their acceptance into the Federal Witness Protection Program.

The Menace From Beyond The Grave Situation

While we set our supercomputers to analyse processes that heat our CPUs surreptitiously, we give you another list of books added recently to our old-fashioned library of paper-and-ink products:

  • Facts on Aviation For The Future Flyers Of Tennessee, (c) 1944 Tennessee Bureau of Aeronautics, Nashville, Tennessee
  • Submarine! The Story of Undersea Fighters, by Kendall Banning, illustrated by Charles Rosner, (c) 1942 by Artists and Writers Guild, Inc., printed in the United States of America
  • The First Book of Moses called Genesis, translated out of the original Hebrew and with the former translations currently compared and revised, set forth in 1911 and commonly known as the King James version, pocket edition by American Bible Society (instituted in the year 1816), New York
  • Stamp collecting book by Richard Hill, Sunset Trail, Knoxville 18, Tennessee, manufactured by U.S. Government Printing Office
  • History of America, by Carl Russell Fish, Professor of American History, University of Wisconsin, illustrations by Leon D’Emo and Will Crawford, (c) 1925, 1928 by American Book Company, Made in U.S.A., owned by Ralph Eldridge, Knoxville Central High School senior 1932
  • The Kingsport Strike, by Sylvester Petro, (c) January 1967, Arlington House, New Rochelle, NY
  • International Atlas and Gazetteer of the World, containing a new and complete Descriptive Gazetteer of the Principal Countries of the World together with a complete collection of up-to-date Political Maps of the World, Statististical [sic] Tables, Census Figures, Air Line Distances, etc., (c) 1935 by C.S. Hammond & Co., Inc., Map Engravers, Printers and Publishers since 1900

Meanwhile, our staff in the Department of Dastardly Deeds has developed a potential storyline for us to follow:

By experimenting with chemical formulae, scientists have perfected the ideal poison letter.  Soon, they will infiltrate the labs of laser printer cartridge manufacturers, change the ingredients of the cartridge contents and release the newest formula into the homes, factories, offices, Internet cafes, construction trailers and libraries of the world.

Then, when the time is right, they will activate the signal that tells the cartridges to print a special circuit on paper.

The circuit, combined with the special ink that, after being heated and fused to the paper, uses the release of heat as the paper cools to send a strong enough “charge” to a blob of ink in one corner of the paper to achieve a minor goal of the Department of Dastardly Deeds.

The scientists have asked us not to reveal their goal at this time.

We won’t, because we have to figure out if their goal aligns with our major milestones before we decide to increase or eliminate their department budget.

While that’s going on, we’ll let you know that the brain circuit reconfiguration we’re testing on Jesse Jackson, Jr., may work this time.  We have tried similar experiments on other members in the public eye (refrain from referring to our previous work as “lobotomy,” electroshock treatment, drug cocktail service, etc.), in order to keep them in line with our milestones.

Those who haven’t stayed on message have been moved aside (again, refrain from referring to our previous work as  “failing the newspaper test,” “assassination,” “drug overdose,” suicide, not seeking reelection, retiring unexpectedly, etc.).

Managing a planet is distracting, we admit, but, on days when we’re bored, it provides an entertaining respite from looking back at this time period 1000 years in the future while trying to live a fulfilling life 1000 years from now, too.

Hole Punchers and Drive-Thru Windows

“Yes, yes…what is it, Rick?  I thought you were harvesting fungi and making algae soup for breakfast this morning.”

“Well, I was looking at the growth patterns of vines in the woods this morning, paying attention to capillary action, when I saw a branch of the future you might want to tell my…I mean, your readers.”

“Rick, Rick, Rick.  How can I do that?  I’ve already told them you’ve retired and here you are, still setting up your supercomputer to extend prediction paths out into the forest.  That doesn’t sound like you’re retired to me.”

“‘You young whippersnappers!’  Why, I ought to give you a good whoopin’ for backtalking me but then you are taller and stronger.”

“Oldtimers.  Geez.  Look, am I or am I not in charge of your network?”

“Let’s just say you were handpicked for the job.  Kinda like the way we maneuvered the population of the United States to put a man who had an African Muslim father and Caucasian Christian mother into the White House.  Which goes with one of these future predictions I see.  The way the vines tell it, now that we’ve secured a member of the Muslim Brotherhood as president of Egypt, we need to convince one of the U.S. President’s daughters to marry a member of the Muslim Brotherhood, thus cementing the bond between the U.S., and thus the West, and the Middle East.  It’s the only longterm way to secure peace within certain circles of the Muslim community and get rid of terrorist breeders within their ranks.  And if they adopted a Chinese baby, that’d perfect the deal!”

“Man, you and your wildlife.  I suppose the ants were talking to you again today, weren’t they?”

“Now that you mention it…”

“Naw, forget it.  I’ve got my own show to run.  You want this gig, you gotta take it from me!”

Rick says to thank Nancy for the smile and laugh she shared this morning.

Backspace, Enter, Shift, Alt, Control

I took a sip of tea, grown cold after hours waiting for me while I washed laundry, watered the potted plants and sent messages to me delivery boys who would carry out muh orders to eliminate waste.

Waste is a word I use for people who get in my way.

How does the Irish saying go, “Don’t be breaking your shin on a stool that’s not in your way”?

I agree wholeheartedly.

No sense in hacking the emails and passwords of a social networking site if you don’t plan to spam the world using other people’s email accounts.

My main competitor says, “Catch me if you can.”

It’s a threat and dare not worth taking.

I just steal his business, take his mistress, torture his kids and turn his wife into a raving lunatic.

No reason to catch him if I can ruin him, instead.

And if you’re going to spam the place, make sure there’s a profit in it.  Otherwise, you’re just a cock crowing at the security light you set off when you walked past the motion sensor.

My detractors say I kill for a living.  Well, I don’t bloody well have a Muslim birth name as a Christian going around killing Muslims for my cheap, showoff thrills, pushing buttons from afar and claiming responsibility for blood on the shards of errant bombs, now, do I?

I’m not a terrorist, for Christ’s sake.  Or, for that matter, a terrorist for Christ’s sake.

I’m a businessman, through and through.

After the last election, I stood in line like the rest of the fellows, signing up for me licence to have multiple wives after our newly “elected” leader proclaimed an executive order to authorise polygamy for all provinces in our great country.

And me wives agree it was a tough bargain to get me as an ‘usband.  Not like I just walked up to every woman on the street and asked, “Will you be my true love but not my first wife?”

The interview process alone was a great wedge that just about drop apart me business partners from me profit.

But I convinced me business partners that having marriage partners who were business savvy was good for business.

Now, when I want to sleep with my secretary, she doesn’t mind that the other women in my business, who just happen to be my wives like her, won’t be getting jealous and spreading angry gossip down the halls for weeks on end.

They’ll get their turn when they’re good and ready to have me.

The way we see it, when a business deal goes bad, someone has to pay, including me.

Besides, it cuts down on pressure from my competitors to steal my employees by offering greener pastures to graze.

You see, I found a loophole in the executive order, despite details of the order being put under the protection of executive privilege.

Women can have multiple husbands, if they want.

Although the order implied it was a male-only right to claim multiple wives, there is not a word of gender specificity.

So, not only do I have multiple wives but many of my wives have multiple husbands.

Keeps our business and personal calendars rather full.

Or, as we say around here, “Cha d’dhùin doras nach d’fhosgail doras.” [No door closed without another opening]

I’ve been rambling on again, ‘aven’t I?  Well, that’s the curse of old age, I’m afraid.  Bua na cainte.

Well, I better be getting along to me next meetin’.  I’ve a few gambling debts to call in before me competitors try to buy their way into some of my wives’ husbands’ wives’ in-laws’ line of work and who might decide they can get better rates from someone else besides me business partners, if they listen to the silk tongues of my competitors’ spouses wantin’ a little extra income to support their expensive lifestyles.

Every executive order has its downside, does it not?

My mother’s valedictorian speech — 60 years later…

Evelyn’s Valedictorian’s Speech

for Graduation at Everett High School

Maryville, Tennessee

May, 1952

Blount County Schools

Our schools in the past have had an important part in making our county the great county that it is.  You have heard the report from Miss Long which tells us what our schools have meant to many of our professional and industrial leaders.  It is true that we have accomplished much, but we must not be satisfied until we have made our schools meet the needs of our people.

There are many needs, but I shall discuss only a few.

It seems to me that one of the most important needs is to let our schools grow up.  The old ways of living have passed.  We are now in an electrical and atomic age.  Educational facilities of horse and buggy and dirt road days do not meet the need of our motorized and fast moving age.  Our industries have grown into adulthood and our employers are demanding that our employees have more and better training.

We must stop looking at our schools as childish toys and our teachers as baby-sitters.  We must see our schools as institutions where the lives of our youth are being molded to become leaders who will have life’s responsibilities of tomorrow.  Children are not toys to be played with, but men and women in the making.  They must be given the principals [sic] of health, honesty, moral and spiritual living.  The school environment must be such that these principals [sic] can be properly taught.  Children must not only be taught, but must see the things practiced which are taught.

In the pictures which you have seen you noticed that all lunchrooms in the old buildings were in basements where artificial light was necessary and ventilation was very poor.  In the new buildings you noticed that lunch-rooms were modern and the most attractive room in the building.  This is as it should be.  Do you know of any home where the kitchen and dining room is in the basement?  If we practice in the schools the things which are taught, teaching is much more effective.  We are taught that in order to digest our food properly we should have a cheerful and happy environment.  It is evidence of growth in our schools when we take our lunchrooms out of dingy, damp, dark basements and put them in light attractive rooms.

There is a need for school growth in our transportation system.  We teach moral, and spiritual growth in our schools, but when we get on our bus to go home, boys and girls are packed together like sardines in a can.  We have one bus which has a seating capacity of 48.  The driver says that at times he has a load of 86.  Such conditions do not teach moral and clean living.  We need to allow our transportation system to grow up so that boys and girls can ride as our adults ride.

We must see our school needs and have a desire to do something about them before our needs are supplied.

We are able to supply our needs.  We are living in one of the wealthiest and most progressive counties in the state.  In population we rank 9th.  In wealth we rank 6th.  We are rich in industries.  We have excellent farming land.  We have lumber.  We have thousands of tourists.  We have marble.  But our greatest asset is the boys and girls in our schools.  We have the material.  If we have the will we can supply our needs.  There is evidence that we have that desire.  Within recent months our County Court has appropiated [sic] an additional $3,000,000 to meet pressing building needs.  Our school should prepare students for life responsibilities whatever they may be.  We are facing many new and difficult problems which must be rightly solved or our national life, as we know it today will be in danger.  Our educational system is the key to a solution of many of these problems.  In 1941 in Blount County 1124 children entered the first grade.  In 1950 there 1307 entered.  In 1941 we had 359 entering high school.  In 1950 there were 698 entering high school.  Our county superintendent said that he expects 150 more first grade pupils next year than we had this year.  This means that we will need 5 new teachers and of course 5 new classrooms for the teachers in the first grade.  It also means more teaching material and more buses.  This is only an example to show how our schools are growing.  If our schools are to adequately prepare our pupils for tomorrow’s citizenship, these needs must be supplied.

We are building great industries where people are earning a comfortable living.  We are improving our farms so that we may have better crops.  We are building more comfortable and attractive homes and we are furnishing them with the most modern equipment.  We are building larger and more beautiful church buildings where we can satisfy the hunger of our souls with the Bread of Life.

We are making progress, but much needs to be done.  Our school buildings and grounds must be made attractive and kept that way the entire year.  We must pay our teachers so that we can get the best.  Then we must demand of them satisfactory service.  Our transportation system must be modernized so that each youth will have a place to sit in decency and comfort.

God had given us our beautiful country.  He has given our county more than 10,000 school boys and girls.  293 of this number are graduating from high school this spring.  We thank God for His blessings upon us.  We thank you public officials and our parents for your efforts on our behalf, but our work is only in its beginning.

Fellow Classmates!  We have had many difficult problems during the past four years.  But now payday has come.  In our joy let us not forget those who have made this day possible for us.  Jesus healed ten lepers at one time, and only one returned to thank Him.  Let us be like that one.

Parents, teachers, and friends, if it had not been for your patience, thoughtfulness, interest, and love we could not have come to this hour.  We thank you, and we promise to work with you in making our schools the best possible, and our county a better place to live.  We shall do our best to live in such a way that you will not be disappointed in life.

=======

NOTE: My mother’s school advisor for this speech was also a local minister.

The New, Reformed Catholic Church for Modern Women

I guess we knew it was coming sooner or later.

Today, the organisation, Our Lady for the Reformation of Male-Led Religion, announced its official split from the Roman Catholic Church.

Nunneries around the world are holding secret ballots to vote on whether to stay with the Roman Catholic Church or join Our Lady for the Reformation of Male-Led Religion.

Meanwhile, a spokesperson for Our Lady for the Reformation of Male-Led Religion has hinted that a later announcement of a name change, possibly to the Rowomyn Catholic Church, may be possible, off the record, of course.

The Vatican has flatly denied the right of Our Lady for the Reformation of Male-Led Religion to leave the Church, citing multiple traditions, as well as possible passages in the Good Book, itself, as valid reasons why women must continue to submit to the biggest, original Male-Led Religion of them all, for now and for eternity.

The leader of Priests for Equal Pay would neither confirm nor deny whether Priests for Equal Pay were in support of nuns asking for equal religious leader positions in the Church.

Rumours spread that the rise of Our Lady for the Reformation of Male-Led Religion has increased mumblings within Islam of women seeking equal job status in the religious leadership positions of mosques and, given time, being restored to the ancient roles of gender-neutral imams again.

The European Central Bank announced that these recent events have no bearing on the decision to lean on the Vatican’s vast stores of wealth to pull Europe from the brink of disaster and return Catholicism to its primary role as a healing force in modern economic policies.

When asked for ‘is opinion, Fidel Castro held up a cigar and say, “This is for you, Señor Richard Dawson.”

Found items under the watchful eyes of the scanner…

While my wife and I sorted between keepsakes and donation-worthy material in her mother’s house, we created a pile of items that fell somewhere in-between — interesting to look at but not worth adding to the piles of curiosities collecting dust in our house.

What to do with them…hmm…

What else?  Scan ’em and then give ’em away.

Examples below — more to follow, as time permits.