With the raccoons flushed out of the attic, courtesy of oil-based insecticide spray, I spent part of the afternoon stapling wire mesh over the chewed-up holes of the eaves of the house.
I also sent a message to the folks at Dragon-X to expedite their development of human transportation devices for ISS ferrying duties so we can dump the Russian Soyuz tin can now that we’ve sung a song about it.
I’m tired of waiting on political idiots, who can be handed a set of keys to a car, told it contains the fingerprints and identifying motives/means of a murderers, but think the issue is the shape the keychain makes when thrown into a cup of tea leaves.
Pardon my French, but do these morons have their heads so far up their asses they can’t think straight?
They definitely need a butt light because they must’ve been drinking way too many Bud Lights at FBI buddy hangouts or political hack backwaters.
Fly me to the moon…please. Otherwise, I’ll keep playing with my yo-yo because, as you know, I’ve got the world on the string.
A nod to Branson’s flight attendant duties, Bill’s weepy remembrances of Steve and Jolie’s mastodon-sized story of a mastectomy.
As the Barack mobile grinds to a screeching halt, what are we going to do to keep the masses happy? Don’t forget the big picture despite the circus freak sideshows.
Can you guess how many more gun-toting conservatives will be slinging loaded rifles over their shoulders and marching on Washington? A lot more than Malvo and Muhammed, that’s for sure.
Holder better resign while he has an ounce of decency left on what’s left of the left.
Viva la revolucion!
This is just too much fun for one planet. Hillary, your dreams were dreamt dreamily, were they not? Go after the Haslams and you go after all us Tennesseans, who have the memories of elephants and the penmanship of writers. Go after writers-turned-journalists and it only goes downhill from here.
Bloomberg, spying is a cardinal sin, even in the Big Apple.
I thank the universe for this recent round of entertainment. May the dogs of wars have fun barking at the lunacy, sniffing at the taint of sin rubbed off on people too packed together to see they’re all wearing the emperour’s latest sartorial insanity.
Time to fly off the planet and join riotous revelers at the Billionaires Ball!
The current administration no longer has my back, is no longer sexy, and has abused its authority, losing my trust. Happy trails! The tip of the iceberg just dropped its drawers and it ain’t a pretty sight. The laws on the books are blind, may justice see the light.
3D-printed objects may deliver hypnosis, poison pen letters, and many weapons of civility to the unsuspecting. Disruptions of the Boston and 9/11 kind are never delivered twice. One day, a plane, the next day, nails, any other day, gas, water and electricity.
My grandfather’s sea chest reminds to think outside of Pandora’s Box.
When is an egg not an egg? When it’s a nest egg.
When is a chicken not a chicken? When it fearlessly enters Syria unafraid to assert authority unilaterally like a visionary leader of U.S. historic proportions.
Why did King Tut have a beard? Because the prop department wanted to change the actor’s looks.
One question to go. The answer might just shock the whole planet awake.
I admit I’m getting confused. With every new story coming out about the bumbling government’s overreach, I ask myself, will the real POTUS please stand up?:
Give me liberty or give me a dearth of bad comedy timing.
IRS admits it targeted conservatives for tax scrutiny in 2012 campaign : http://wapo.st/18yVhcJ
The government announced new plans today to ban all home/office cleaning products — disinfectants, toilet bowl cleaners, insecticides, herbicides, dishwashing detergent, clothes washing soap/powder, floor waxes, fly/wasp traps, facial/skin cleansers, baby wipes and more on a list of over 1 million products — in an attempt to eliminate autism within one generation.
Businesses across a wide range of industries have threatened to sue the government.
People with no incidences of autism in their families have filed complaints, saying they have used cleaning products judiciously and will continue to do so.
Religious leaders have praised the government’s general intent and offered holy water as a safe alternative to concerned parents.
According to inside sources, the chief prosecutor’s office says they will raise the possibility that radical Islam is in fact a cover for homosexuality and incest, with the Boston bombing suspects being a case of mother-to-son and brother-to-brother love trysts of the most heinous immoral acts in our species, resulting in God’s punishment for them and their victims for allowing such thoughts, let alone behaviour, to be tolerated and cultivated in modern civilisation, confirming the current administration’s contention that promoting sin as a means of flushing out, prosecuting and incarcerating weak sinners is the best way of strengthening the country and proving that old Bible saying, “The wages of sin is death,” purifying the culture just in time for the next election cycle, taking away the opposition’s core tenets (and tent poles), hoping that enough oldtimers and hardliners will vote the other way to solidify the one-party system once and for all.
The sources did not know how education and immigration reform fit into the overall political juggling/jigsaw puzzle.
treetrunkdings 