Don’t cry for me, Argentina

Deutschland über alles.  I figured out why Argentina lost the World Cup — their coach was Patrick Magee, who starred in “A Clockwork Orange” as Mr. Alexander:



Frank Alexander: Food alright?

Alex: Great sir, great!

Frank Alexander: Try the wine!


Frank Alexander: [hears knocking on the door] Who on Earth could that be?

Julian: I’ll see who it is.

[goes to the front door]

Julian: Yes, what is it?

Alex: [barely audible] Help… please… help… help.

Julian: [opens the door and Alex collapses at the doorway. He carries Alex into the house] Frank, I think this young man needs some help.

Frank Alexander: [surprised by Alex’s poor condition] My God! What happened to you, my boy?

Alex: [voice-over] And would you believe it, o my brothers and only friends. There was your faithful narrator being held helpless, like a babe in arms, and suddenly realizing where he was and why home on the gate had looked so familiar, but I knew I was safe. For in those care-free days, I and my so-called droogies wore our maskies, which were like real horror-show disguises.

Alex: [nervous] Police… ghastly horrible police… they beat me up, sir.

[sees Frank has a foul look on his face, apparently not believing him]

Alex: The police beat me up, sir.

Frank Alexander: [excited] I know you!


Frank Alexander: Isn’t it your picture in the newspapers? Didn’t I see you on the video this morning? Are you not the poor victim of this horrible new technique?

Alex: [relieved] Yes, sir! That’s exactly who I am and what I am, sir. A victim, sir!

Frank Alexander: Then, by God, you’ve been sent here by providence! Tortured in prison, then thrown out to be tortured by the police. My heart goes out to you, poor, poor boy. Oh, you are not the first to come here in distress. The police are fond of bringing their victims to the outskirts of this village. But it is providential that you, who are also another kind of victim should come here.

Frank Alexander: [finally remembering Alex’s state] Oh, but you’re cold and shivering. Julian, draw a bath for this young man.

Julian: Certainly, Frank.

Alex: [as he is being carried off by Julian] Thank you very much, sir. God bless you, sir.