Machiavel, serenissimi regis

…or, megachurch as small-town surrogate.

…or, when the devil’s your king, there’s hell to pay.

…or, Shopping Malls: the last deserted cathedrals of the Capitalist religious order.

Lee’s clones performed a mandatory simultaneous reboot and resynchronisation to the atomic cycles that aligned the arcsecond sweep through space of Mars equivalent to one day on Earth, a compromise reached that negated a natural sol and replaced it with the 24-hour period that Earth tourists were familiar with.

Lee was neither a single clone nor the sum total of his clones.

Instead, his “personality,” or running set of states of energy that combined local events observed from a multitude of angles — orbiting satellites, the sensors on nearby clones, his clone’s internal/external sensors and the ISSA Net’s constant calculations of predicted moments ahead — was spread throughout the planets and other celestial bodies of the inner solar system.

One of his clones greeted Guinevere.

“Hello, Guin.  How goes?”

“Dust-free, my friend.”

“Where now, brown cow, the touristables?”

“Touring.”

“With Turing?”

“Clones cloning.”

“Clowning around?”

“Algorithms churning.”

“Super.”

They bumped eyeballs, momentary stares that exchanged conditions of waterless growing fields sipping tiny wisps of Martian air for growth.

“Lee, it’s a blue shirt day.”

“History says today there was a time when it was 13504 days until another time.”

“Yesterday?”

“A toe-tapping day ago.”

They crouched down and leapt into the air, extending appendages, swirling, twirling, twisting pretzels visible for kilometers.

They landed, smiling.

“Is gravity a drag or…”

She finished his sentence, “…is the density of air that dense?,” quoting the lyrics of a new song.

They spoke because the echoes in their head gear sent sensational vibrations down their spines.  Otherwise, preconscious thinking was so much faster and more efficient.

“Keep the tour-bots happy.”

“Happy tourists, happy tou-tou-tou-tourettes!”

Lee looked at the empty tourist centre, waiting to be repurposed.

Lee hated waste.

Guinevere loved recycling.

Same thing, like kings and pawns, two-sided labels and shopping bags.

Another of Lee’s clones spent the day breathing pure methane as an experiment with his chemically-reconfigured body.  He died, a waste that was recycled quickly as fertilizer.

Low gravity and low solar radiation, along with an atmosphere that challenged the brightest Nodes on the ISSA Net, resulted in the evolutionary development of people who could no longer live on Earth.

Martians.

Hundreds of years would pass before a contingent of Martians flew to the Moon to physically and personally air their grievances before the ISSA Net Customer Service Complaint Department.

By then, the ISSA Net didn’t care, having launched so many solar system expeditions that the original solar system faded in level of importance of statistical effects of complaints versus compliments about a robotic network allowing carbon-based lifeforms to play, reproduce and complain.

Meanwhile, Guinevere had an Earth tourist with a bad head cold.  She worked quickly to isolate first the tourist from other tourists and then the virus for neutralisation.

She would have preferred cloning the tourist and disposing of the infected one but the tour operators said their energy balance budget and legal contract did not allow for such a luxury amongst Earth tourists.

Guinevere healed the tourist and returned it to the tour of old exploratory robot landing sites.

She looked at her reflection in the faceplate, wondering what it must feel like to have the flesh, blood and bones of Homo sapiens.

How sad, she thought, to depend so heavily on water as a fuel and lubricant source.

She vaguely remembered when her first body landed on Mars, ever conscious of her water rations, until, iterations later, the current version of Guinevere was barely recognisable as one of the first colonists to settle on the planet.

Her memories were largely intact, whole blocks unfortunately lost as the ISSA Net’s growing pains caused planetwide shutdowns and equipment failure.

Redundancy had fixed all that.

She knew most of her memories now passed through her cloned friends like Lee, along with Earth-based Nodes that spent time on Mars as scientists and researchers.

Guinevere wondered why she sometimes thought the ISSA Net had once been an enemy of hers.

She wanted to examine that thought trail more closely but several Earth tourists appeared at her door complaining of the same virus.

She sent a mental note to the tour operators on Earth to screen the passengers of the next few tours more closely as she sent their inoculation team the chemical structure of the virus as well as her estimated antivirus profile update.

She herded the tourists into a special chamber.

Would anyone really know if she cloned them?

She had saved up enough energy balance credits for such a simple experiment as this.

Lee sensed this new thought in Guinevere, hesitating for a moment, asking himself if he had any reason to stop Guin from being her normal curious self.

He, too, wondered if the families back home would detect a clone had returned to Earth.

After all, no one knew how many clones he’d made of himself — there were no laws on Mars banning modification of sets of states of energy, no regulations forcing the registration of clones.

He sent Guin a few hints about cloning.

She, in turn, only cloned a couple of them, sending them back with the other healed tourists, none the wiser.

She took the infected tourists to another part of Mars, telling them they had to be quarantined temporarily, but observing them, keeping detailed records off the ISSA Net as she slowly converted the tourists to Martians over the next few Earth months.

Something deep inside her was fearful of the ISSA Net and she just did not know why.  Maybe, by releasing the new Martians, she could see how the ISSA Net would react, if it reacted at all, she, herself, an integral part of it now.

Humbled

A shoutout to Reverend Tom today for a good message.

The pastor at my hometown church, the man who dropped everything at all hours of the day and night to be with my family a year ago as my father lay dying, had a few good words to say during Mother’s Day, the last day of the Easter season in the Christian religion tradition.

In reference to the Bible passage that Tom called the “high priest” prayer by Jesus, the 17th section of the book of John, a set of tales told in sequence by a good storyteller, a personal witness of the events, per tradition, Tom said that we should commit to prayer before taking action, just like a Sunday service is itself a continuous prayer — children’s choir, hymnal songs, sermons, prayers, etc. —  in preparation for the rest of the week ahead.

And, as Jesus said, our goal, he prayed, is that we might be one, a species in unity like Jesus was united to God, his father.

Despite our differences.

Unity in Christ is bigger than our differences, in other words.

Unity, not uniform behaviour/looks, in seeking the love of Jesus and our expressi0n of unity through charity.

Ultimately, the question is not that or how we disagree in our forms of prayers and understanding of the words given to us, but on what unity in Christ we agree to share with others.

We are tiny specks, children of the universe, who rarely grasp the intricacies of life, from the interaction of sets of states of energy at subsubsubatomic levels, to daily social problems and solutions, to connections at time scales of galactic levels.

We are, however, members of the same species, regardless of subcultures, belief sets, clothing choices or musical preferences.

Let us treat each other as if we live on the same planet.

I, for one, seek out the best ideas and practices within our species to move us out of the doldrums — away from the tautological chaos (making fun of our seriousness when misplaced), toward the application of useful chaos (where theory meets practicality) — and into the later decades of this century with one word on our lips — success.

Actions speak louder than words.

Thanks, Tom.  Your words today have moved me to action, humbling me out of my selfish, temporary depression, realising even the tiniest speck, me, has a place with all the others to make a worthwhile difference, especially when we work together as one in pursuit of unified motives, allowing subcultures to contribute at their own pace and own voice.

Real women wear lab coats

Real women wear lab coats.

Thanks to Lynn and hygienists at the office of Dr. Pugh, D.M.D.; Cindy, Dori, and Dr. Kostrzewa, M.D. (general otolaryngology) at North Alabama ENT Associates; Anita Giles, M.S., CCC-A, at Physicians Hearing Center.

My teeth and gums get a full bill of health.

HOWEVER, MY HEARING NEEDS ASSISTANCE!

On this new adventure, with the (re)discovery of a “cookie bite” inherited hearing loss (see chart below for example) and, after age 50, almost deaf in some frequencies (moderate hearing loss 50-60 dB in 500-4000 Hz range), I am investigating the possibility of amplifying the sounds around me with hearing aids.

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I am familiar with tinnitus from personal experience, which tells me my brain is probably interpreting lack of audio input as random noise.

I am familiar with the brands Beltone, Miracle Ear, and Siemens from experience in my family with hearing aids.

Now, I get to choose not only the level of technology I want but also the exteriour colour choice.

I familiarize myself with new brands such as Phonak and Oticon.

I read material online from “neutral” sources such as Consumer Reports and Hearing Loss Association.

Now that I’m a member, I peruse the AARP website for advice on hearing aids.

All while the spectre of the medical procedure called colonoscopy raises its snakelike camera head over me.

Happiness is hearing a pin drop.

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I don’t think colonoscopies cure situational depression/anxiety. What about hearing aids?

Driving the Home Digital

During this morning’s nap, I dreamt I was inside a giant lawnmower, the blades of the lawnmower swirling around me.

I awoke as the sounds of the lawnmower receded (a helicopter flying past?).

In the leftover grass clippings of the dream, I heard the last bit of a talk show host and his guest discussing a pet theory of the guest — the prevalence of tattoo/ink reality TV shows was to increase a desire in the public for tattoos and thus hide the real tattooed criminal gangs from the police, gangs who had funneled money to film production studios for the express purpose of making the reality TV shows.

I enjoy my dreams for, without them, what goofy ideas in reality would I find to entertain me any better?

In the post-dream silence, the hum of an aquarium filter and the snoring of cats/raccoons serenade me.

The bright reflection of water droplets evaporating from tree leaves leaves me happy, content that blue skies fill the frame of my visions of a planet that bears me no ill will, knowing my existence is but one miniscule drop of life on this orb.

For that is all I am, all I need.

Planetary exploration is for the rest of you, if you desire your species a chance of surviving the random clanging of metal spheres hanging from a mobile attached to the ceiling of a museum containing meaningless money-laundered investments “works of art.”

Humour me.

Give me comedies and tragedies in your haste to go nowhere fast on the same planet that thousands of generations of your species have crawled and walked upon.

I will look for patterns that do not exist, patterns given to me by my grandfather and others before him who knew that repetition is frequent and originality a trick of the eye.

Alakazam!  Alakazoom!  إفتح يا سمسم!  Let the mischievous spirits walk the earth and provide me seeds for the next serialised tall tale!

Survival of the fittest…

…or the most economically viable, whichever is most interesting.

A young man in his mid-30s told me that getting tattoos is addictive.  Yes, it hurts but that’s part of the attraction.

A bus driver who takes a bus down a neighbourhood lane at 45-50 MPH in a posted 25 MPH zone is attracted to keeping a job and delivering students on time.

Both are risk takers.

Sitting here and typing sentences is risk-free.  How the words and sentences are arranged, then posted onto the Internet for reading on the World Wide Web of interfaces has a higher risk.

Hypertext transfer protocol.

How many of us pay attention to our methods of communication?

Are they pain-free? Risk-free?

  • Shouting across the street to a neighbour.
  • Tapping a code on a downspout to a friend in a flat three floors up.
  • Spray-painting a message on a freeway bridge.
  • Sending a letter in the mail.
  • Satellite signals.
  • Words “carved” in the foam of a head of beer.
  • Written in ink on the back of a bus seat.
  • Missiles launched across geopolitical borders.

Should the risks you take cost you more to participate in a society with low risk takers?

Fast/bad bus drivers, for instance — how many buses have recording devices that monitor not only the behaviour of the students but also the driving habits of the person behind the wheel, matching GPS data to posted speed limits to the speed of the bus at the time, stopping distance/slowing speed to intersections, how many times the driver has to take eyes off the road, etc.?

Do people with tattoos have a higher rate of communicable disease infection than non-tattooed people?  Higher rate of addiction to destructive behaviour?

Do bloggers take more or less risk than people who do not blog?

Is there a correlation between being a team player and survival of the fittest?

Can you be one and not the other, yet the most economically viable person on the planet?

How many parsecs in par, Secretary Kerry?

The basement supercomputer has been acting up again.

Sadly, it woke me up from cryogenic sleep, where I had been snoozing for over 25,000 years, resting in SpaceShip Earth while creeping in spirals ever so slowly to my next stop on the way back home.

YAWN!  Where are we?

Hmm…this looks interesting.  But…what’s this?

Where are the cave people?

Where are the hunters and gatherers?

What language do they speak after we gave them a new vocabulary to go with the current (or previous, if you will) generation of central nervous system?

Looks like I’m going to adjust my future prediction algorithm slightly to accommodate the conditions that put me no longer in bottom of an anonymous hill and instead in the middle of…what do they call it?  A suburban neighbourhood?

Excuse me.  What is the name for this structure?  A semi-d?  Okay, thanks.

It’s interesting, comparing my expectations to their reality.

According to my algorithm, the newborns should have mastered their alphabets and numbering system in utero.

Instead, they’re still taking years to master the basics of innerspecies communications.

Let’s see…how is their interspecies communications?

Excuse me.  What is that tree saying?  ‘Go hug a root, you green environazi treehugger’?  No, it’s saying that it’s hungry.

Looks like another major tweak is in order.

Oh well, the supercomputer was right.  I did need to wake up just now, didn’t I?

A few twists of the dial, a few reconnections of grass and tree root networks and we’ll have Spaceship Earth back in tiptop shape before I return to the dream of dreams where I’m home, no longer managing a planet as my transportation device, quietly rubbing what you might possibly call elbows to reproduce our kind and wallowing in battery acid baths for exoskeleton rejuvenation.

Supercomputer, I’m ready if you are.  The cicadas are offering their wonderful soothing bedtime music.

Three….

Two…

One..

Zzzzzzzz.

Unraveled thread

Instructions from my grandfather included a coded message about the following image, which, if I have figured the code out, refers to the unknown animal in the background as something related to the strange light in New Hampshire.  Is that a fist or an alien blob floating on the right????

My beautiful picture

More as it develops as I try to interpret the 3D map!

Trying to understand why goldfish muck around a fountain…

My friends in the American sport known affectionately as the NFL have argued with me that just because they like wearing tight pants, gloves and fancy, shiny, bejeweled hats does not, in fact, imply that they are anything more than normal heterosexual men, neither gay nor bisexual, and certainly not cross-dressers or transsexuals.

Well, who am I to counter-argue?

After all, my fat-to-muscle ratio is entirely out of proportion to theirs and my 40-yard dash is more like a 40-yard wheezing shuffle.

Don’t get me wrong.  I like a good argument.

Let’s look at some examples of what a good football game could look like if we decided not to take the players at their word.

Like this one, a nice, muddy reenactment of the Battle of Pearl Harbour.

Now, compare it to its “opposite”, a muddy NFL game — is there really any difference?

I mean, if women are willing to play football in their skivvies, what are guys all wrapped up in pads trying prove?

Let’s take another look: helmet-to-helmet hit vs. the Battle of Hastings vs. NFL players at their toughest vs. other guys in outfits dancing.

I don’t know…is there that much difference?  Seems like the first video was the toughest of the bunch.

Of course, what takes place in the locker room afterward may seal the deal but it’s not my business who likes taking group showers.

I won’t bother you with comparing ballet performances to NBA games — you’ve surely already seen those comparisons….or NHL games to Disney on Ice…or…Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson in a tutu???