Occasionally, I find evidence that my mental images reflect those of others before, during and after me. This is such a case. I guess it’s time to start drawing my Martian landscapes in my style, with models of my choice, huh?
Tag Archives: history
The key to happy Ness monsters
“Muscle wire.”
“What?”
“Muscle wire. Do you have any muscle wire?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” The man standing beside her looked at her strangely.
Guin sighed. She had temporarily accepted an assignment to escort a group of tourists off-base. During their excursion to the nearest overlook, nicknamed the Loch Ness Monster due to the group of humps that seemed to loom out of the landscape as you drove up to it but gave a sweeping view back to their research outpost when you turned around on top, a torsion bar was torqued out of shape.
“Oh, if only…well, never mind. I don’t think we’d have any in the lab. Back on Earth, though…”
Every now and then, Guin recalled her younger years. She smiled and laughed inwardly as a scene from her childhood, when she first had an inkling she wanted to be a mechanical engineer, flashed through her thoughts.
She was in the mountains visiting her grandparents.
Her father, who had grown up there, had warned her about the kind of folks that lived deep in the hills.
“Now, our family is mainly of the preaching kind, as you know. But the other families don’t take too kindly to strangers, being drug runners, mainly ‘shine, but some of them have been known to grow the wacky weed, especially Pennsylvania Pure, said to be a direct descendant of crops raised by George Washington and Benjamin Franklin.”
Even down in the valley, where Guin’s father had raised her, the drug dealers lived nearby.
Once, when Guin was out mountain biking, she blew a tire and hitched a ride home from a nice boy with a really cool 4×4 Jeep. The moment the Jeep pulled into the driveway, her father let loose two warning shotgun blasts in the air.
Guin yelled it was her so her father set down the shotgun, telling her to get out and the boy to take off.
“He’s one of those drug dealers I told you to stay away from. He’s bad!”
Guin shook her head. “No he’s not, Dad. He gave me a ride home.”
“Well, don’t go near him again.”
Guin kept this in her thoughts as she pulled up into her grandparents’ driveway, honking her horn long before she got to the house.
Her grandfather met her at the door. “Praise Jesus. I was worried about you, child. Your father said you’ve been hanging out with those bums in the valley. Don’t you know they’re the devil’s brood?”
“Aw, come on, Granddad. I just had a flat tire.”
“Well, you shouldn’t’ve. You need to learn to fix a tire yourself ’cause if you go out riding around here and get a flat, you will not be coming back.”
Guin wondered why her grandparents, who claimed to be good Christians, were so quick to dismiss the very people who they should be preaching to. Instead of asking, she noticed her grandfather had a can of of spray foam insulation in his hand.
“Whatcha got there, Granddad?”
“Oh, this? Well, your grandmother noticed bugs getting into the laundry room. I noticed a gap running along the line between the window and the wall, probably from the house settling all these years. I’m going to spray some of this and fill the gap, hoping that’s where the bugs are coming in.”
“Granddad, you’ve given me an idea.”
“Yes, dear, what’s that?”
“Well, that spray foam’d make a great inner tube for my mountain bike tires, don’t you think?”
“That is a great idea. I’ll save you some.”
“Thanks, Granddad.”
While Guin loosened the brake cables on her bike and removed the wheels, she looked at the brake cables and shocks.
Her thoughts wandered. What if…
She covered the inside of the wheel rims with a thin coat of oil to keep the spray foam from sticking but left a thin line of the rim clean just inside where the tires would touch the rims, allowing the foam and tires to stick together and bond with the rims. She slowly sprayed the wet foam along the inside of each tire and seated one at a time back on the wheel rim, letting the expanding foam dry out and form a fully-inflated tire tightly wrapped around the wheel. She didn’t know how long the foam-filled tires would last but surely long enough for her to have fun biking around the old home place in the mountains.
She dug through the mechatronic play set her grandfather had given her for Christmas and pulled out the muscle memory wire kit.
The heat generated by her bike could activate the muscle wire. With a tip actuator, she could use the heat generated by her brakes to…hmm…well, what exactly? A recoiling strand of muscle wire, as part of a nitinol heat engine, could turn a pulley. What would it take for the system to know if she was about to tip over her handlebars because the front brakes were locking up tighter than her back brakes and ease off pressure on the front wheel so she could still slow down controllably?
Guin’s grandparents wished her goodnight but Guin got out of bed after she heard them quietly snoring down the hall.
She snuck outside with her gear and biked down the road to one of the moonshiners’ hangouts, loudly announcing her presence in the middle of the night.
Needless to say, she was met by flashlights and rifles with hidden voices behind the blinding lights demanding to know who she was and what she was doing in the middle of dadgum night.
Guin explained who she was and the guns lowered.
She further explained why she was there and the lights motioned her on into the barn and down into the hidden chamber where the moonshine was being cooked.
One good thing about being herself, Guin knew how and when to hide her geekiness just long enough for guys to warm up to her good looks. Most guys got a kick out of a preacher’s granddaughter saying that she liked a strong sip of good moonshine.
She passed on the bong of Pennsylvania Pure getting handed around.
After 15 minutes of shooting the bull, trading stories about high school and cruel principals who didn’t take a liking to mountain folk, Guin sauntered over to the moonshine still. She paid close attention to the welding, how neat everything was put together.
“You fellows sure know how to assemble piping. Any chance you have any soldering equipment I can use?”
One boy’s face lit up. “Yes, ma’am.”
“I’m sorry, what’s your name?”
“Nathaniel.”
“Well, Nathaniel, is this your handiwork?” She pointed at the temperature control gauge and electronic control board that was hooked up to the still.
“Yes’m. My daddy taught me. He went to trade school and all that. Was working at the steel mill over in Pittsburgh back before all that was shut down or automated.”
“Can you show me how to operate your equipment?”
“What fer?”
“I broke my bicycle and need to fix it but I want to make it better than before. Any assistance you could give me would be greatly appreciated.”
“You aren’t trying to steal my ‘shine recipe, are you? A purty girl like you?”
“No, Nathaniel, I’m not. I just want to get to know you and your kin better.” She looked around the group of guys, a couple of them in their teens, three or four in their 30s and two of them in their 50s or 60s. “Right now, I don’t see much difference between you guys and my brothers or my father and grandfathers.” She shrugged her shoulders. “They preach fire and brimstone. You make white lightning from fire and piping. Both of you want to make the world a better place from your point of view.”
The guys nodded in general agreement.
Nathaniel pointed toward the back of the room. “Over here, then.”
“Okay, I’ll get the rest of my gear.” Guin climbed the ladder and walked over to where she had been made to set her stuff down in the barn.
The memory seemed like yesterday. Had it been decades?
Guin looked at her reflection on the side of the all-terrain vehicle filled with antsy tourists, some who’d paid a life’s savings for this trip to Mars. She had paid dearly for a treatment of Syndrome X, “freezing” her body at the age of 40, more than a life’s savings, sacrificing some of her memory and all of her wealth on Earth in order for the biological parts of her body not to die of natural causes for many more decades, what her friends called the ultimate energy exchange.
She opened her thoughts to Lee and Shadowgrass who were leading a tourist group out to an old historic landing site.
Between the three of them, they mentally created a reconfiguration of the ATV to operate without the need for one torsion bar, recording a note to themselves to request an expedited repair bot not only for their domicile but one each of the latest generation bots for the tourist ATVs. Guin applied their fix and drove on, wishing for a new repair but wishing more that she’d had time to design one herself.
The new bots contained their own smelters which could forge hybrid parts from just about any chemical found in Martian soil, allowing Guin, Lee and Shadowgrass to expand their exploration and free up time for research after the tourista bots were allowed to go back into operation once the latest supply ship had landed with much-needed irreplaceable parts.
At the top of the ridge, the tourists oohed and aahed, recording themselves together in small groups, drinking water replacement fluids and eating spicy snack treats exclusive to this tour.
Guin virtually handed out commemorative electronic stamps that were actually coded algorithms once called apps that could only be sent and activated from the geolocation of the Loch Ness Monster Overlook, the tourists choosing the colour schemes, soil/clothing smells, wind/walking sounds, and 3D background scenes to include with their immersive experience video that was included as part of their tour package.
Guin sent a silent smile and hug to her two “guys,” which they returned within microseconds.
To get this far with their development of the Martian colonies had cost them many close friends on Mars and lost time with family members back on Earth.
But it was worth every sol (Martian day) and marsec (Martian second).
Whatever it took, even a week of giving tours instead of time devoted to pure research.
They always had each other.
Back in the leather saddle of a desk chair
Two things I’ve learned over the weekend:
- Never buy a Frenchman a bottle of wine, and
- Never buy a Sicilian a copy of the film, “The Princess Bride.”
More importantly, I’m beginning to wonder if the recent short episodes of fever/headache/sinus infection are related to the weeks…nay, months-old tick bite places on my legs that haven’t completely healed.
Most importantly, I’m glad I have my wife. Despite our differences (she thinks of Gene Kelly when she hears “Singing In The Rain” and I think of Malcolm McDowell, which leads to the Malcolm Baldrige award and then to Malcolm Gladwell’s pop novels), she has my best health in her thoughts, or so her actions lead me to believe without question.
If only I could blame the tinnitus on tick bites.
Most Monday mornings, I’m rather depressed because the weekend had filled me with new personalities and their busy lives to ponder and compare my quiet Monday mornings to.
But then, in the middle of a dream last night, I was at some gathering and up walked my best friend in high school, Monica, her face covered in reddish-purple makeup that I just now realise was in the style of a character named Mystique in the film, “X-Men,” who reached up, rubbed my chin and shivered, rubbing her own smooth chin, saying, “You know I don’t like beard stubble,” and me apologising, saying, “I know, I meant to shave before I got here but didn’t.”
I suddenly remembered my moonlighting job as a stringer for the Huntsville Times covering high school sports in the mid-1990s and woke up.
I cannot be what I am not. Or I can be what I was not but then I’m not what I was.
Then I remembered where I live, a great place for technology-centred people like me who can help people of all shapes and sizes, such as Zero Point Frontiers Corp.
And I opened my iPad to a lecture by the self-promoter, Noam Chomsky, on the obvious fact that democracy is merely a word to the U.S. socioeconomic condition.
Finally, for the first time in years, I sat down in the leather office chair to start writing this blog entry and was able to push myself back against the upright portion of the chair, thanks to the months and years of dance training by Joe, with more recent massage work by Abi, with dance instruction by her and by Jenn.
I don’t know how lucky I am. I really don’t.
I wish I knew that people are as delicate and needful as I am for social interaction, rather than assuming I am the only one who’s afraid to speak my thoughts because I might sound weird and uninteresting to the uninitiated.
How, then, do I reconcile the difference between my wanting to say out loud that a particular piece of art or the artist’s work in general is not interesting to me because I have no connection to the style or message, and my fear that everyone will say the same thing to me at once and I will feel more alone, completely lonely, than ever?
Thoughts to ponder on a Monday morning!
Companionship and hugs
What if we offered hugs instead of bullets to resolve conflicts between the brothers and sisters of our species?
I stand here at the top of our driveway listening to a lawnmower, a clothes dryer, a chirping alarmist wren, and a cardinal but no insects or tree frogs and I wonder, thinking back…
I have worked on the logic decision trees of the U.S. Space Shuttle main engine controller, the U.S. Navy CASS, an infrared missile system for a Navy fighter jet, a sewer flow monitoring system, PC DSL home router/gateway system, digital KVM equipment, Zigbee-style wireless control systems and yet…
Here I am.
Am I better or worse, having left the world behind me in better or worse condition than I found it?
Have I been nicer or meaner than I could have to the people I’ve encountered in person and/or online?
The cardinals chasing each other in the woods can’t tell me.
The person mowing grass over in the next neighbourhood probably can’t say.
Dead people aren’t talking to me.
The bioluminescent fireflies aren’t signaling me any indication of the results of my behaviour that I can recognise – are there more or less of them because I don’t mow grass or don’t chemically treat the plants that grow in the front yard?
This weekend I spend time mentally reassessing who I was and who I want to be qualitatively, not just by the job assignments I completed for pay and medical coverage.
I want to finish the foundation of the legacy, the direction that my parents honestly intended for me as they struggled against my personality to raise me, and build with more loving companionship from my friends, family and acquaintances.
The time for the end of my midlife retirement, my six-year long meditative retreat, has arrived.
Managing a species
Putting aside the proposition that the ridiculous concept of a species is an arbitrary label which makes no sense on planetary scales of billion-year timelines, let us look at the Management 101 viewpoint of coordinating the activities of our species.
You see, on one hand, we have a company named SAIC that has made many a millionaire in areas around towns like Washington, D.C, and Huntsville, Alabama.
Then, on the other hand, we have the SAIC-haters who see companies like SAIC that hire brilliant (and not-so-brilliant) engineers and scientists in the government intelligence welfare program to create, protect and defend government assets around the world.
That, in itself, is a whole lot of concepts through out there in a couple of paragraphs.
What separates the scientifically-minded people who work for companies like SAIC from the scientifically-minded people who think SAIC shouldn’t exist?
In the spectrum of seven-plus billion people on this planet, where do those two groups generally fall?
I am no purist. I hope I am a realist who writes science fiction fantastic tales for a money-losing tax writeoff against my government’s desire to earn revenue from me.
I understand the need for a company like SAIC that would create titles such as “Program Manager for Lethality and Mortality,” a job position that requires a person to manage a missile design program which ensures the most number of deaths when dropped on the ‘enemy’ [the lethality part] and the least number of deaths when used as a shield from incoming missiles directed by the ‘enemy’ [the mortality part].
In a perfect world, we would all be friends helping each other out rather than playing boy-toy wargames and killing the peasants with our war toys for fun.
Or would we?
“Come on down! You’re the next contestant in the ‘Price is Right’!”
Is it a gender issue? Is SAIC the result of years of patriarchal leadership? In other words, does testosterone mixed with adrenaline drive our culture to war, spying and government/corporate control?
Is there an alternative that completely replaces our species’ need for hierarchical control?
How many police officers see the world as a sea of perps?
How many peace lovers see the world as a sea of love surrounding a few desert islands of the misguided?
Does the concept of haves-vs-the havenots have anything to do with this?
What about a global consumer economy of “I want more, More, MORE!!!!”?
Say, I am a student of the STEM disciplines and I know that my education will lead me not only to a comfortable lifestyle but a lavish one? Would I trade a career where I spend more time in pure research, long hours and low pay for a career where I spend more time in government-supported commercial development, fewer hours and high pay?
What are my motivations? What of my socioeconomic background? What of my general/public education, starting with my formative years?
Am I assertive, rebellious and outspoken? Or am I introverted, a good follower who obeys orders/commands starting with the simplest “30 MPH when road is wet” sign?
What if you’re a combination of these traits?
What would a personality profile test tell you?
And what about those of us who will decide how to give you the best guidance for your life as you transition from your childhood years to your adult years, based on your desires, motivations, skills, training and personality traits?
See, we want both the SAIC millionaire employees and the anti-SAIC haters, regardless of their socioeconomic status.
We have room for you, whoever you are, and whatever you want, spooks and nonspooks alike.
The economic pie keeps growing, even if portions of it shrink sometimes, or seems to be made of unequal slice sizes.
Your input is valuable and helps us reshape the pie based on current trends.
Keep in mind that negativity and satire have a funny way of shaping the future. What you complaint about and make fun of often (Orwell’s “1984,” for instance) causes your opposition to move further into the business of undiscoverable dark secrets, digging deeper trenches that are harder to cross and meet your opposition halfway.
Instead of berating the cybersecurity spy business, propose a future that takes all seven-plus billion of us into account, including the SAIC millionaires who don’t want their fortunes to disappear overnight a la Enron, GM, Lehman Brothers, etc.
We can work with a positive proposal much easier than negative protesting or scathing satire. Those of us who want to change the world have to pass the newspaper test, go home to our children, live with our friends and seek happiness as much as you do.
High school notes simmering on the back burner of life
I was bothered last evening by the lingering memory of intercepting a note passed between high school classmates 35 years ago.
Then it dawned on me that I used to work in the sewer rehabilitation industry where we were Number 1 and Number 2 in our business.
You needn’t understand what I’m joking about here — it’s just a personal thought recorded for posterity, remembering all the brown trouts I used to love to study to know the pipe shape/profile and speed of sewage in order to calculate the volume of material flowing through a sewer system, estimating any I&I and other aspects of what a municipality must anticipate when planning and maintaining a sewer treatment plant.
Don’t Fear The Reaper
Walking through the ditch at the front of our yard, stepping up and over vinca (what my in-laws called graveyard vine), bending over to cut unwanted tree/bush/vine seedlings — varieties of privet, hickory, cedar, sumac, ash, elm, oak, trumpet creeper, honeysuckle — a song popped into thoughts already dominated by a different song and different thoughts detailed later:
This is where our story ends
Never lovers, ever friends
Goodbye, let our hearts call it a day
But before you walk away
I sincerely want to say
I wish you bluebirds in the spring
To give your heart a song to sing
And then a kiss, but more than this
I wish you love
To cool you in some leafy glade
I wish you health
But more than wealth
I wish you love
My breaking heart and I agree
That you and I could never be
So with my best
My very best
I set you free
I wish you shelter from the storm
A cozy fire to keep you warm
But most of all when snowflakes fall
I wish you love
But most of all when snowflakes fall
I wish you love
Those lyrics played over the previous song in my thoughts, “Everything is beautiful“:
Jesus loves the little children,
All the little children of the world.
Red and yellow, black and white,
They are precious in his sight.
Jesus loves the little children of the world.
Everything is beautiful in it’s own way.
Like the starry summer night, or a snow-covered winter’s day.
And everybody’s beautiful in their own way.
Under God’s heaven, the world’s gonna find the way.
There is none so blind as he who will not see.
We must not close our minds; we must let our thoughts be free.
For every hour that passes by, we know the world gets a little bit older.
It’s time to realize that beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder.
And everything is beautiful in it’s own way.
Like the starry summer night, or a snow-covered winter’s day.
Oh, sing it children!
Everybody’s beautiful in their own way.
Under God’s heaven, the world’s gonna find the way.
We shouldn’t care about the length of his hair, or the color of his skin.
Don’t worry about what shows from without, but the love that lives within.
And we’re gonna get it all together now; everything gonna work out fine.
Just take a little time to look on the good side my friend,
And straighten it out in your mind.
And everything is beautiful in it’s own way.
Like the starry summer night, or a snow-covered winter’s day.
Ah, sing it children!
Everybody’s beautiful in their own way,
Under God’s heaven the world’s gonna find a way.
One more time!
Everything is beautiful in it’s own way.
Like the starry summer night, or a snow-covered winter’s day…
While I bent over and stood up, bent over and stood up, weeding the ditch step-by-step so that the major/minor/variegated vinca would be the plant(s) of choice, I remembered a story Mom told me.
My mother’s parents kept a large garden in the back part of their small farm.
As any gardener knows, weeding a garden is a regular part of growing your own food — you can see it as a chore or as a delight.
One summer, my grandparents took Mom out west in the late 1940s, traveling parts of Highway 66 and getting all the way to California from Tennessee. The trip took a month to complete.
Well, as much fun as they had in a car before air conditioning was an affordable option, four weeks away from the farm meant one thing — LOTS of weeding and farm work when they got back.
Mom and her father spent long hours weeding out the beds of potatoes, corn, strawberries, grapes and other crops, a “deal” my grandfather cut with my mother for letting her have fun with them on their special, dream vacation to see this great country of ours.
Because I haven’t been able to sleep for a long time, I tried a product called Zzzquil last night. I still didn’t fall asleep until after midnight (it couldn’t be the five cups of coffee earlier in the afternoon, could it?) but I had five hours of uninterrupted sleep afterward, not even noticing our cats curling up with my on the sofa in the sunroom.
I don’t even recall my dreams.
Except for one small thought that lingered as I dressed in jeans and a short-sleeved blue shirt to work in the yard this morning, imagining myself in my grandfather’s place, actually older now than he was then working with my mother on the farm, looking forward to getting to know the soil, insects, seedlings and personal meditative thought patterns as I worked.
Do I, do you, respond more to the words of a message or its emotional context/content? [What exactly do I mean by “emotional”?]
And, by extension, when we lay dying, do we quietly look for a signal that says when it’s all right to die? How possible is it for us to work our friends/acquaintances/workmates network to find the signal we’re looking for? How possible is it for us to feel/sense/hear the signal-seekers in our regular pattern-matching daily lives?
In other words, are we pattern-matching from womb to tomb?
At UAH to see Dr. Goldfarb…
Flat-footed
During my morning walk, passing through a wooded lane and out into former cotton/soybean/corn fields where I used to fly remote-controlled airplanes in winter, down the country road not far from old horse and emu farms turned into suburban tracts, the concrete slabs of sidewalk held bird droppings, algae, hardened footprints of a small dog and the label for a Sears brand lawnmower.
At six in the morning, cars and trucks rolled past, their occupants hidden from view.
Low clouds hung in the air as if to say, “We could have been fog if the air had been colder and more humid.”
Walking for 35 minutes, I met no other person walking or running. I saw one jogger off in the distance.
I was left to my thoughts, the early morning haze of dim dreams and leftover conversational thought trails.
Have you ever been overcome by smoke? Perhaps a campfire, a house on fire or chemical fogging?
Lack of sleep for months and years have turned me into a murky-minded zombie of sorts.
While people are dying while playing out their version of the Boston Massacre in Egyptian cities, I have the luxury of complaining about the lack of sleep.
Not a complaint, really.
Merely an observation about a snoring wife and cats who like to play musical chairs with beds and sofas at night.
After the walk, I returned home, kissed my wife on her way to work and showered, sitting down at my work desk, thinking about a friend who counseled my family during my father’s last days and penned the following note:
Tom had given his time unselfishly both while my father lay dying and after my father’s death so naturally there is a permanent bond between us just as there is a permanent bond to the man who married me to my wife.
I cracked open the Bible (Revised Standard Version) given to me by the Colonial Heights Presbyterian Church on September 26th, 1971, signed by the church pastor at the time, H. Reid Montgomery — nothing like having a real Scotsman for your Presbyterian minister to impress you as a child growing up in the church.
I immediately turned to the 23rd Psalm:
1 A Psalm of David. The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not want; 2 he makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters; 3 he restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. 4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil; for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me. 5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of my enemies; thou anointest my head with oil, my cup overflows. 6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life; and I shall dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.
With that in my conscious thoughts, I wrote a letter of sympathy to Tom, asking him to let his stress-based depression be a gift rather than a burden.
During my walk and while writing, in my thoughts were remnants of a conversation last night between my wife, Guin and myself and a subsequent conversation between my wife and me about the previous conversation with Guin.
From an early age, I knew I was a socially-dependent person.
Even though my sister was a rival for my parents’ love, she was also a good companion to have because she followed me around and would do anything her big brother would.
She was a litmus test for my curiosity and courage.
When I was a teenager, I intercepted a note between a boy and girl in band class. The boy said I was in love with her and the girl wrote back that it was no big deal because I would fall in love with anything and anyone, even a piece of shit.
I knew what she meant. I have no filter for my love, accepting people for whomever they say they are or want to be, willing to overcome my subcultural conditioning and ignorance to determine their needs, helping to the best of my limited abilities.
As a person by myself, I have no needs, wants or expensive hobbies. I have been happy for many years now spending most of the day at home without human contact, writing books, coining journal/blog entries (often in response to online news/comments) and piddling around in the yard/garage.
However, should a person come to the door, I’m like an eager dog wagging his tail, desirous of conversation and face-to-face body language communication.
My codependent tendencies, my desire to please others, has not been completely detrimental to my health but it has caused problems, such as when, through rewards and encouragement from coworkers and upper management, I would give my all to a company objective only to miss the fact that the company no longer needed my department, laying off my employees but keeping me, giving me headache-inducing survivor’s guilt.
My hearing loss and blinding headaches in the last few years have, according to my wife, affected my memory, just like Tom.
For me, the question of whether being a virtual caged animal in a marriage of diminishing returns (i.e., if marriage is a protective nest for procreation, what happens when the chances for offspring approach nil?) is par for the course for my personality traits and/or not healthy/normal has not been answered despite marriage counseling and psychologist/psychiatrist sessions back in the 1990s.
My wife told me it has not gone unnoticed that when she, Guin and I are in conversation, Guin and I tend to mimic each other’s movements, as if Guin and I are two codependent personalities feeding off each other.
Guin is about the same height as my sister, with very similar body features — brown hair and medium athletic build.
She is athletic like my sister, like I thought my wife was when we got married, who went camping and hiking with me for several years before she admitted she’d rather stay at a hotel or B&B in the mountains than hike to a mountaintop and sleep in a bag on hard ground, her clothes and hair smelling badly like campfire smoke on the way back to our house late Sunday evenings, requiring a late-night shower instead of much-needed sleep. I admit that I hike less than I used to, replacing hikes with suburban walks/jogs, like substituting cotton candy for nutritious fruits and veggies.
Because my memory loss has increased, I have fully adopted the writer’s slogan, “Never let the truth get in the way of a good story.”
Or better yet, maybe a fake quote by Mark Twain would apply better here: “During my recent European excursion, I spoke to a man named Freud who was convinced that all of man’s thoughts and actions are based on sex. He’s obviously never met Mrs. Twain.”
In any case, my wife says that I have gotten into the habit of making up what she said to me, wishing she had access to a voice recorder that could play back what she really said in a conversation versus what I twisted and reworked into a personally-entertaining blog entry or short story.
So, what is the truth? Why do I enjoy dancing with Guin in ways unimaginable with my wife? In Mars’ gravity, for instance.
Is it simply the recognition of a similar thought set in another person, eager to let thoughts and ideas take off exponentially/logarithmically as if there is no tomorrow because after you’ve been in a life-threatening automobile smashup and seen Death, shaking his cold hand and smelling his bad breath, you embrace life because you know there is no promise for a tomorrow on this planet?
Is that why I have a burning desire to see myself in writing at least once day, virtually screaming to the world “I’m not dead yet!”
Would I dance every night until they turn off the lights if I had the chance?
Would dancing for hours completely flatten out my feet like marathon training/running used to do?
If there is no tomorrow, hadn’t I better answer these questions today?
Early anniversary present
Many moons ago, I commissioned a painting by Christina Wegman based on a photograph of my wife at age 13 when we were at summer church camp together:
Yesterday, Christina delivered the finished portrait and all I can say is “Wow!” The painting is wonderful. I’ll let Christina describe it in her own words:
My third recent commission was a portrait; Janeil [below] was based on a photo taken of my client Rick’s wife at camp in the 70’s. I know that Janeil likes to work on scrapbooks and make greeting cards and that her favorite color is purple, so I tried to incorporate all of these things into the composition. As with a portrait I completed last year of Eugene and Georgia Baxley, my main reference photo was a scanned image of a small family snapshot. I had to use a few school portraits of Janeil as reference to get an adequate likeness. I find portraits of this kind to be incredibly difficult to do well because the reference material is often blurry or discolored, but it is also incredibly rewarding to be able to bring a cherished but faded or blurry snapshot to life in this manner!
Some of the reference photos I gave Christina to help her fill in details:





