Yesterday’s Today is Tomorrow

For a brief moment, I was a kid again.

Yesterday, in preparation for watching a film at the cinema about a cartoon character known as Iron Man, I scrolled through websites detailing a few storylines that encompass worlds and universes in one comic book series or another.

Although I was never geeky enough to keep track of comic drawing styles, character bios or inside jokes, I knew enough about the fantasy lives of fellow classmates who did that I could briefly carry on a conversation with those who read not only comic books and watched Saturday morning cartoons but who also consumed novelisations and books containing specifications of spaceships, weaponry and superhero powers.

A few of them transitioned to board games like Dungeons & Dragons — I detailed those people in a previous novel or blog entry and won’t repeat myself here — because fantasy and science fiction computer games didn’t exist, unless you can stretch your imagination and say that Pong was a game between gods sending universes back and forth across matter/antimatter timelines.

For the most part, our schoolyard games were either cowboy-and-Indian or space cowboy-vs-evil alien shoot ’em ups and chases.

2001: A Space Odyssey was released when we were too young to care and Star Wars arrived in our high school years when most of us already had well-established hobbies to occupy our thoughts.  Star Trek was an after-school show that, along with Batman and Wild Wild West, captured the attention of the average nerd in our early teens.

Now that I’m a middle-aged white guy who’s more likely to die of suicide than a car wreck, I can either further regress into a childhood I never really had or I can progress into an elderly adult I haven’t yet been, avoiding the mental illness pitfalls that lead to premature death.

To end today’s blog entry, I’ll provide an untraceable source of a quote by a semi-famous author:

“My dear,
Find what you love and let it kill you. Let it drain from you your all. Let it cling onto your back and weigh you down into eventual nothingness. Let it kill you, and let it devour your remains.

For all things will kill you, both slowly and fastly, but it’s much better to be killed by a lover.

Falsely yours,
Henry Charles Bukowski”

INAM

What does it take — that is, how mature and sophisticated a civilisation — for one person to get a colonoscopy?

Will a colonoscopy increase or decrease my chances of developing arteriosclerosis and heart attacksObesity?

I’ve hit that magic age, past 50, where my medical healthcare professionals wish I get a colonoscopy.

Somewhere between the interests of an ENT doctor (general otolaryngology) and a urologist sits the giant worm of an internal body part that interests the gastroenterologist: a colon; not a semicolon.

In the near future, I will drink the fluid that contains the chemicals that encourage my gastrointestinal tract to flush itself clear of semisolids.

Then, under the dreamy, twilight world of anesthesia, I’ll submit my body to the medical procedure of being scoped for abdominal abnormalities.

Polyps, you say…not an ellipse in a solipsist?

“Polyps” sounds like the name of a GrecoRoman deity, the offspring of a Hydra and Cyclops, perhaps, or simply Polyphemus himself.

Ah, to lie there like a cadaver in medical school while poked, probed and analysed like a crashlanded space alien!

One can hardly wait for the experience, can one?!

Shall I put on my tinfoil hat and say, in a whispered conspiratorial voice, “You know, don’t you, that colonoscopies are the government’s way of attaching tracking devices to your body that can’t be easily removed by mere amateurs!”?

The fictional possibilities are fun to imagine.

There are millions of ways to die, including under anesthesia.

There are millions of ways to live the rest of your life as a vegetable, including having seizures under anesthesia.

How often does a scope perforate the GI tract?

How often does a GI tract reveal cancerous growths?

Even better, how often do colonoscopies reveal nothing out of the ordinary?

I’m placing my bets on common outcome of the last question.

And, after recovering from my twilight sleep, I hope my gut flora returns to its healthy state once again.

Now, if I can just change my dietary intake and lose a few stones while increasing my low-impact exercising!

There once was a guy named Bill…

Usually, I find myself at company-sponsored leisure activities trying to figure out what I’m doing at company-sponsored leisure activities and why I’m thinking about why I’m trying to figure out what I’m doing at company-sponsored leisure activities, giving my thoughts an exercise in wondering, thinking and trying, but not always in that order.

Today, while just on the verge of creating an internal structure in the shape of mantra made of the above thoughts, up walked beside me a man named Bill.

I don’t know Bill well.  I know of him by reputation and through appearances at his company-sponsored leisure activities, he being a co-founder of the company that sponsored today’s leisure activities.

Bill is an honest man whom I trust implicitly and explicitly, without question.

As a member of the board of directors of his company, Bill is used to being in the public eye.

His health is as important to the company as it is to his family and him.

I looked at Bill’s face this morning, noticing that there seemed to be more blood flowing through his system — his face was redder than it was at the Christmas party but something else about his face concerned me.

His complexion was not as healthy-looking as it had been several weeks back at an American Heart Association walk sponsored in part by his company.

Turns out that Bill had subsequently suffered a viral infection and spent several days in the hospital to get his temperature back near normal after he had worked with a pile of mulch in his yard.

I could write several blog posts about the value of mulch.  In fact, my wife and I used to volunteer at the Huntsville Botanical Garden on Saturday mornings to collect monetary donations in exchange for loads of mulch dumped in the back of truck beds and small trailers, the mulch mainly composed of decomposed leaves and twigs scooped up alongside roadways after having been raked to the curb by homeowners in autumn.

Mulch and humus (not hummus (or humour (or vapors (or femurs)))) are valuable components of one’s garden.

One may wish to set up a mulch or compost pile that includes not only leaves and twigs but also kitchen scraps and other organic material.

Bill was not overly concerned about mulch’s benefits.

No, he had apparently picked up a virus that had hitched a ride in a pile of mulch and was wreaking (and reeking) havoc on his body.

Keep in mind that Bill had quadruple-bypass surgery not that long ago.  Within four days of the surgery, he could walk several miles so he’s not all that out of shape.

Bill looked me in the eye.

There was something more he wanted to share with me.

Bill pulled out his mobile phone and showed pictures of his new acquisition, a 1959 Corvette.

Instantly envious, despite initially thinking it was a Thunderbird, I leaned closer toward him.  What was so special about this car to Bill that he wanted to show the pictures to a complete stranger?

Bill said he had always wanted a Corvette.

Of course, our material dreams are often displaced by other priorities.

As Bill pointed out, the year after the last of his kids finished college, he put a swimming in his yard, along with deck.  He invited the kids over and asked them what they saw.  They saw a pool.  He corrected them — this was what their annual college tuition had been costing him and now he was spending it on something he and his now fully empty-nested wife wanted.

Of course, it was an investment the kids could enjoy, too.

Of course, of course.

But Bill still desired the Corvette.

Before he went in for the bypass surgery, Bill told his wife, “When I get out of this surgery, I’m going to buy myself a Corvette,” in part to give himself something positive to look forward to after such an ordeal, not really meaning it as much.

Well, his wife held him to his word, making sure he had recovered enough from the surgery to remind him of his promise to himself.

Bill found the Corvette online, located physically not far away in Murfreesboro, Tennessee.

The car is not perfect, has been repainted and needs TLC — the soft top seal should be replaced, for instance.

At a distance, however, it looks brand-new.

Bill has a way to go to achieve the level of post-surgery health that will ensure he lives many years longer.

Unfortunately, the viral infection and hospital stay delayed his planned physical rehabilitation.

Bill’s honesty with others reaches his inner self, where he knows that he has neglected his bodily needs in order to sacrifice himself for the greater good, for the bigger community outside his immediate family and inner circle of influence.

For Bill, now is his time, time to devote to his wife and himself, to spend some selfish moments reaping the rewards of years of success and hard work.

Our lives are shorter than we think they will be.

Bill, you deserve these moments of happiness, of less stress, of giving your trust to the employees who continue the legacy you started.

Your Corvette and your Austin Healey 3000 kit with 350CI Chevy engine are ready for your full attention and fun-filled driving adventures.

Enjoy the open road, see the sites, revisit old hangouts and come back with tall tales about your new friends.

We’ll be here, waiting with virtual pen and ink in hand.

To your health, whatever you choose to do about it!

Is AT&T losing customers to Verizon in north Alabama?

The pulsing migraine headache that has dogged me from the moment I was born is pulsating “louder” than ever today.

I am screaming in my thoughts in order to be heard, using alliteration as method to contain the contagion of madness that wants to spread into the rest of my body.

Using old tricks of my youth to hide my insanity from the rest of the world — running through vocabulary words in any language to keep myself connected with the society into which I was born and am expected to communicate in a legible manner.

The litany of voices I hear and read wants to repeat itself here through the funhouse mirror/brilliant cut crystal ball of a writer.

…the dance instructor I just met who tells me her whole life story in a few minutes — married, divorced, miscarriages, births, lack of silliness, not a girl, not interested in guys, Western Swing dance champion who prefers Balboa dance style, etc., like she has been through this interrogation by strangers a million times and learned to push people away quickly, or…what?

…on social media: the animal rescue posts — please rescue this dog/cat before it’s euthanised, pitbulls aren’t dangerous, found a cat with kittens in a back alley that need to be adopted, etc.;  the gun owners who feel threatened by government regulations and must let us know their fears through LOUD STATEMENTS EVERY DAY; the people who claim they are loving devotees of their religion but they relentlessly post hateful comments about others (Christians against Obama, Buddhists against overcrowded cities, etc.).

So, in my mental confusion, I put a paper bowl filled with water, oatmeal and ground-up flax seed in the microwave oven, set the timer for 20:00 instead of 2:00 and, after taking a shower, I returned to find I had made dried oatmeal/flax seed cakes instead of a bowl of hot cereal.

Happiness!!!

The universe entertains me constantly, poking me in the side and saying, “See? Isn’t life beautiful? You didn’t burn oatmeal, you made yourself the handheld dried oatmeal cake you’ve always dreamed of eating on the commute to work for years, didn’t you?”

Despite the boring moments between eventful events, while setting up the next scenario to snag the snaggle-toothed snagosaurus, life is, indeed, beautiful.

Surprising, no?

The Contrarian’s Contrarian

Poiu spent all morning in observation of a snail glide across the backyard, grass blade to grass blade, minidirtclod to minidirtclod,  and onto the sidewalk where, in the heat of the sun, it retracted into its shell and waited for the cool of evening to return.

The armadillo passed by both of them without noticing their odd relationship.

The scientist and the experiment.

Question: does an observed snail change its behaviour?

Experiment: Pick up snail from sidewalk, move it to starting position.  Observe and record its behaviour as it heads toward sidewalk.  Return snail to starting position.  Does snail’s path deviate when unobserved the next day?  Return at end of next day and see where it ended up, check its movements.

Poiu shook his head.  Why did his parents decide to name him after a row of English letters on a QWERTY keyboard?  What were they thinking?

Poiu looked at the list of assumptions in his experiment.

At age two, his thought-t0-text rate was slower than his older sister’s but his reasoning powers were more advanced despite his mother’s measured intelligence and intellectual output greater than his father’s.

From those thoughts alone, he deduced that gender was not directly related to intelligence, given the same number of inputs and genetic propensity for logical rather than emotional thought development.

Poiu looked at the embedded display screen woven into his optic nerve and glanced at the report detailing the results of the experiment being edited by his onboard computer assistant.

The assumptions were wide-ranging, from the lack of predators to the slight change in the snail’s body weight because of growth and/or water loss to the availability of nutrition between starting point and sidewalk to the number of unseen parasites and snail pests.

What about prevailing winds or UV radiation spikes?

A snail’s central nervous system can’t be too complicated but an outdoor environment can.

Poiu proceeded with publishing the preliminary experiment results.

Within microseconds, Poiu’s playmates provided valuable criticism of the report, some he had thought of and some he would never have guessed.

Back to the drawing board, as they said in the 21st century!

Freedom to think without an assigned theme or classroom score

Being here, with me, an Internet radio station and the sun-fed trees outside my window, I’m free to expand my thought patterns upon this blank canvas of an electronic writing pad.

Mixing metaphors if I choose.

If still waters run deep, why do oceans have waves?

Mixing media of varying density and thickness.

My father…a year ago, we were working with medical professionals to seek a path of better health for Dad, “better” being a term we wished for and hoped for more than knew was an illusive condition.

My typical reaction to “serious” situations, the result of turning nervous worry into positive joking action, constantly kept me on the edge of making comments my father, should he have been in a better mood/thought set, would not have approved.

Our senses of humour were not aligned.

I can ask myself why at this point, without tears or sadness seeping into my wonderment, why Dad did not understand or chose not to encourage my funny side.

He implied more than said that the man of laughter has a harder way to tread to the pinnacle of success than a man who treats everyone with seriousness and respect for their emotions/life conditions (i.e., the burdens they bear that are eased with sympathy and empathy).

That is, of course, my interpretation.

But I have heard others tell me that laughing at the wrong time or not taking adult responsibilities is not what my physical presence inspires others to encourage.

I have had plenty enough of what others expect.

Splitting into nearly schizophrenic thought sets to accommodate others and myself at the same time is not the set of states of energy I want to maintain and nourish.

After all, the self is a self-delusional illusion, a trick of chemical reactions that has brought nature to this point, with black pixels outlined on a white-light background, to examine itself, without reproductive needs being met, to spin in place while setting conditions for the next outburst of creativity that knows no ethical/moral boundaries, no positive or negative thought patterns, simply taking the sets of states of energy as is and moving on into the next imaginary moment/time period.

While our species holds public discussions about the subcultural struggles of how to treat the non-heterosexual members, how do other species behave?

I, for one, have seven billion friends to spend time with, some I have been conditioned to treat as equals and some I have been conditioned to hold at arm’s length for at least a brief period of time because our differences are sufficient to keep me from immediately understanding what makes us members of the same species.

We invoke the ancient writings of our ancestors to protect us from having to question or having to accept that subcultures rise and fall in popularity.

We rarely see that talking about our “enemies,” whether with good or bad word patterns, gives them validity.

Memes…

Symbols…

From the 10,000 year/mile distance, the memes and symbols merge into bigger patterns.

Tempests in the teapot of a planet, barely making waves in a solar system, practically invisible in a galaxy, hardly discernible in a supercluster.

Entertaining, nonetheless.

Because I am comfortable in the meaninglessness of my insignificance, the self a temporary confluence of states of energy, I have found the longer view a driving force in my writing, in my [non]existence, seeing 13528 days, rotations of Earth upon its tilted axis, into an imaginary future while having fun laughing about the tragedies of the moment, including my own.

It is, at the same time, a self-examination of one as a member of a species.

Is it not statistically normal to want to reproduce and provide shelter for one’s mammalian offspring, the majority of whom are right-handed, heterosexual, male, dark-haired and dark-eyed non-alpha primates?

I am left-handed, heterosexual, male, red/white-haired, green-eyed and non-alpha, without children.

Thus, statistically, not normal.  Abnormal.

Why, then, am I here recording my presence for the majority to, perhaps, read?

Why, indeed.

The confluence of states of energy, this “me” that “I” say does not exist, is the answer.

Avoiding the messy, daily adult responsibilities of an almost 51-year old man, that’s who and what.

Long ago mentally prepared to die at any time, having successfully achieved the goals of my childhood desire to be a published author.

The rest is an endless buffet of desserts filled with laughter and inappropriate humorous thoughts, thankful that the rest of the species is here to support me with characters and scenes to write during the remainder of my life.