Tag Archives: happiness
When dinosaur Apples roamed Earth…
Here’s the suit but where’s the tie and cumberbund?
Who exactly are Craig or Angie and why do they have lists?
The Loveliest Short Story You Will Read Today Was Published on Craigslist
Craigslist: that scourge of the newspaper industry, that den of lust, that middleman responsible for an untold number of bedbug crises.
Or, Craigslist: the Internet’s simplest and most ingenious disruptor, a digital equivalent of the neighborhood telephone pole papered from sidewalk to eye line with “HELP WANTED” and “GARAGE SALE: TODAY!” flyers.
How about, Craigslist: accidental publisher of short fiction?
On Tuesday evening, “Missed Connection” appeared as a personal listing on Brooklyn’s corner of the website. It begins like most of these confessions do:
I saw you on the Manhattan-bound Brooklyn Q train.
I was wearing a blue-striped t-shirt and a pair of maroon pants. You were wearing a vintage red skirt and a smart white blouse.
Looks familiar, right? We made eye contact, we smiled at each other, we didn’t talk before you got off the train, yadda, yadda, yadda. But, no. The anonymous writer, whoever he or she is, framed a fantastical sort of romantic tragedy within this Craigslist post. It’s a sad, lovely story in an unexpected place.
As short fiction goes, it’s nothing special. The prose sags. The writer’s weakness for adverbs (“I cocked my head at you inquisitively,”) and precious sentiment (“We both wore glasses. I guess we still do,”) creates needless distractions. The story needs a good editor and several more drafts. It’s far from great writing–and yet, it still works.
Maybe it’s the grim appeal of lost love. Maybe it’s the whiff of surprise in such a well-trod crook of the Internet. Maybe it’s just the pleasure of a small, imaginative story. Whatever it is, there’s something about “Missed Connection” that stays with you.
Read “Missed Connection” below:
I saw you on the Manhattan-bound Brooklyn Q train.
I was wearing a blue-striped t-shirt and a pair of maroon pants. You were wearing a vintage red skirt and a smart white blouse. We both wore glasses. I guess we still do.
You got on at DeKalb and sat across from me and we made eye contact, briefly. I fell in love with you a little bit, in that stupid way where you completely make up a fictional version of the person you’re looking at and fall in love with that person. But still I think there was something there.
Several times we looked at each other and then looked away. I tried to think of something to say to you — maybe pretend I didn’t know where I was going and ask you for directions or say something nice about your boot-shaped earrings, or just say, “Hot day.” It all seemed so stupid.
At one point, I caught you staring at me and you immediately averted your eyes. You pulled a book out of your bag and started reading it — a biography of Lyndon Johnson — but I noticed you never once turned a page.
My stop was Union Square, but at Union Square I decided to stay on, rationalizing that I could just as easily transfer to the 7 at 42nd Street, but then I didn’t get off at 42nd Street either. You must have missed your stop as well, because when we got all the way to the end of the line at Ditmars, we both just sat there in the car, waiting.
I cocked my head at you inquisitively. You shrugged and held up your book as if that was the reason.
Still I said nothing.
We took the train all the way back down — down through Astoria, across the East River, weaving through midtown, from Times Square to Herald Square to Union Square, under SoHo and Chinatown, up across the bridge back into Brooklyn, past Barclays and Prospect Park, past Flatbush and Midwood and Sheepshead Bay, all the way to Coney Island. And when we got to Coney Island, I knew I had to say something.
Still I said nothing.
And so we went back up.
Up and down the Q line, over and over. We caught the rush hour crowds and then saw them thin out again. We watched the sun set over Manhattan as we crossed the East River. I gave myself deadlines: I’ll talk to her before Newkirk; I’ll talk to her before Canal. Still I remained silent.
For months we sat on the train saying nothing to each other. We survived on bags of skittles sold to us by kids raising money for their basketball teams. We must have heard a million mariachi bands, had our faces nearly kicked in by a hundred thousand break dancers. I gave money to the beggars until I ran out of singles. When the train went above ground I’d get text messages and voicemails (“Where are you? What happened? Are you okay?”) until my phone ran out of battery.
I’ll talk to her before daybreak; I’ll talk to her before Tuesday. The longer I waited, the harder it got. What could I possibly say to you now, now that we’ve passed this same station for the hundredth time? Maybe if I could go back to the first time the Q switched over to the local R line for the weekend, I could have said, “Well, this is inconvenient,” but I couldn’t very well say it now, could I? I would kick myself for days after every time you sneezed — why hadn’t I said “Bless You”? That tiny gesture could have been enough to pivot us into a conversation, but here in stupid silence still we sat.
There were nights when we were the only two souls in the car, perhaps even on the whole train, and even then I felt self-conscious about bothering you. She’s reading her book, I thought, she doesn’t want to talk to me. Still, there were moments when I felt a connection. Someone would shout something crazy about Jesus and we’d immediately look at each other to register our reactions. A couple of teenagers would exit, holding hands, and we’d both think: Young Love.
For sixty years, we sat in that car, just barely pretending not to notice each other. I got to know you so well, if only peripherally. I memorized the folds of your body, the contours of your face, the patterns of your breath. I saw you cry once after you’d glanced at a neighbor’s newspaper. I wondered if you were crying about something specific, or just the general passage of time, so unnoticeable until suddenly noticeable. I wanted to comfort you, wrap my arms around you, assure you I knew everything would be fine, but it felt too familiar; I stayed glued to my seat.
One day, in the middle of the afternoon, you stood up as the train pulled into Queensboro Plaza. It was difficult for you, this simple task of standing up, you hadn’t done it in sixty years. Holding onto the rails, you managed to get yourself to the door. You hesitated briefly there, perhaps waiting for me to say something, giving me one last chance to stop you, but rather than spit out a lifetime of suppressed almost-conversations I said nothing, and I watched you slip out between the closing sliding doors.
It took me a few more stops before I realized you were really gone. I kept waiting for you to reenter the subway car, sit down next to me, rest your head on my shoulder. Nothing would be said. Nothing would need to be said.
When the train returned to Queensboro Plaza, I craned my neck as we entered the station. Perhaps you were there, on the platform, still waiting. Perhaps I would see you, smiling and bright, your long gray hair waving in the wind from the oncoming train.
But no, you were gone. And I realized most likely I would never see you again. And I thought about how amazing it is that you can know somebody for sixty years and yet still not really know that person at all.
I stayed on the train until it got to Union Square, at which point I got off and transferred to the L.
Phrase of the day
Best line last night: “Welcome to Cheers…” where, “guys, it’s not always about what’s in your pants.”
Time to think about the honeydo list before designing/building a sculpture.
We learned briefly last night a short lesson in dancing from Chris, whose 25-year dance instructing career included working at a Fred Astaire dance studio when all male teachers had to wear a three-piece suit. Now Chris wears blue jeans.
Thanks to Abi for her encouraging words during our hourlong lesson.
Decanter handle: the truth
Intimacy has more than one definition.
Intimate details.
Intimate relationship.
A polyamorous person intimates intimacy in public and in privacy.
In the span of a few hours, one watches the intimacy of actors pretending to live intimately over 19+ months on a trip to Europa, becomes intimate with the details of one person’s life followed by another and another.
Back to the dance — following and leading.
Opposites attract.
A young man loses his girlfriend, then within two weeks, his grandmother (like a mother to him) has triple-bypass surgery, and a week later, he tears his meniscus. He, a man half Brazilian, half American, blacker than black, but nearly hairless thanks to his Brazilian half, no need for a Brazilian wax. Depression is easy to give in to but one must move one, mustn’t one, especially when one is so far away from his grandmother he has to fax his love and hugs to her?
And the depths of the stories of another — dear, sweet Bai — the daughter of a Baptist preacher, related to others in her family of Anabaptist faith, almost married a charismatic Pentecostal follower; she played piano, led the choir, organized/arranged church music leadership, her mother looked like Audrey Hepburn who has an inheritance of seven figures’ worth of jewelery to pass on; moved in with her boyfriend before marrying, got pregnant, her father telling her that if you’re going to sin, do so willingly and with gusto before God’s hand sweeps down [in punishment?], willing to face the consequences of your actions; got tattoos in her early 30s; more stories to tell than I can remember to write down…
And our resident Frenchman, who is unique in his own way outside of the fact he is from France. Likes firm mattresses, no need for a boxsprings; bought a room full of furniture for $100 (was asked $80 but offered $20 more to get help moving the stuff) from an expat returning home overseas; his best time of the day is from 10 p.m. to 4 a.m.
A pretty young woman who seems so familiar, got into nursing school a semester ago, and along with her ROTC program must keep her grades up to complete her nursing degree.
A revolving door of stories.
The waitress/server who looks 21 but says she is 32.
The young man who spent all day playing his drum set and is looking for a fulltime gig with a band full of players who are serious about having fun practicing/performing music all the time.
Trying to understand where life is going to take us next as faces move in and out of the fog/noise of what we do to make ends meet.
On the way to the outpost, the happy place, the rest stop, the relaxation, the meditation point where friends, workers, companions, and lovers get together at the end of the day of setting up shop on Mars, where there is little in the way of the “fat of the land” to aid us when we’re unable to make ends meet.
That’s where the stories and the creativity begin.
Where endings are written.
The conflicts, the drama, the clash and mesh of personalities.
One day you’re sharing rent for a flat and the next day you’re out on your own paying full price.
If you can’t handle authority, you become your own boss.
And if you can’t handle that? Well, that’s where the next story picks up.
How to generate magic, mesmerising, hypnotising, convincing you that what I have to give you you are willing to exchange labour/investment credits to have for yourself — goods, services, imaginary images, memories that last a lifetime.
When the government foments minirevolutions to keep the majority in its pocket, you know that there is nothing that can’t be done, given the right resources and enough time, or even if there is not enough time and too few resources.
All about adaptation.
You want the truth?
There is no truth. There is only illusion.
A set of states of energy is not even a set, or states, or energy.
Understand that, you understand nothing. And everything.
The story is king. The plot the queen. The subplots are children plotting to overthrow.
Advice to a small world
So what can I say? In a town full of suits, my wife and I walk into an office building on the square (where it’s hip to be square) and meet, much to our surprise, Kelly Moise, investment advisor for Dryden, Bound & Associates, also wife of Patrick, a new friend of ours.
Great to know that Kelley has finished several marathons which she compared to giving birth — you don’t remember the pain of the last one until you’re well-committed to the next.
We look forward to securing our financial future.
In the meantime, we enjoy good food and drink at Below The Radar Brewhouse, thx to George and the crew.
Now dat’s beer, Data!
20,790 spam messages in queue
The best way to see where unintended circumstances will lead you is to take a cynical approach to your serious disposition.
Then, the future is the moment you’ve been waiting for, planning, biding your time and biting your nails about.
You needn’t worry that nothing will happen.
I was once famous on a local scale. In junior high school, I actually had a fan club. Sure, the club members were mostly gay guys and socially awkward girls but there were club buttons and other regalia to celebrate my celebrity status.
In high/secondary school, I was somewhat popular but I didn’t know it. As the president of the school’s drama club for two straight years, along with appearances on stage as an actor and singer, I attracted a small following that I didn’t even know existed until I got on Facebook a few years ago and a few women my age wanted to start fantasy relationships that I saw had started in their thoughts many, many years ago.
I knew there were some people who looked up to me when I won the four-year U.S. Navy ROTC scholarship to Georgia Tech.
It was as if I had led a charmed life the first 18 years of my existence and didn’t appreciate the relative ease with which I breezed through my public school days until I left the small town and its suburban tracts for the big city.
I look back at all that, two-thirds of my life ago, and understand why I believe I am comfortable dying at any time.
I have always been happy to be alive, accepting whatever comes my way, but at the same time wanting to stay ahead of my ennui, the situational depression that dogs me like a hungry animal scenting my fear and chasing after me.
I see news headlines pop up about one subject or another that concerns populations of people out of eye and earshot and I wonder what’s going on.
Why do religious people fear nonreligious people, for instance, or vice versa? I am perfectly comfortable in my belief that the universe both was and was not created by a supernatural being (God, in my subculture’s parlance, who miraculously created a son on Earth named Jesus (pronounced “Hey, Zeus!” of course)). The labels we choose to describe a series of events that took place long before any of us or our ancestors could read or write is whatever we want them to be. Our behaviour toward each other is still as important whether our origin story is called “God created the heaven and earth” or the “Big Bang.”
It is the noise or clutter that jams the airwaves with whatever people deem important enough to promote themselves and their ideas for a better life.
For others of us, one’s set of beliefs takes a second seat in the second row to hard facts like how gravity is variable across the surface of large celestial bodies but averages out sufficiently so that mathematical equations can be converted to algorithms to guide spacecraft around and land them upon distant planets, moons and other satellites.
We can fill our spare time with noise and clutter — the chattering class’ favourite topics du jour.
However, let us keep our longterm goals clearly, distinctly and loudest in our thoughts and actions.
The Mars mission continues! Every idea counts, such as Ad Astra.
And entertaining diversions such as Europa Report.














