According to inside sources, the chief prosecutor’s office says they will raise the possibility that radical Islam is in fact a cover for homosexuality and incest, with the Boston bombing suspects being a case of mother-to-son and brother-to-brother love trysts of the most heinous immoral acts in our species, resulting in God’s punishment for them and their victims for allowing such thoughts, let alone behaviour, to be tolerated and cultivated in modern civilisation, confirming the current administration’s contention that promoting sin as a means of flushing out, prosecuting and incarcerating weak sinners is the best way of strengthening the country and proving that old Bible saying, “The wages of sin is death,” purifying the culture just in time for the next election cycle, taking away the opposition’s core tenets (and tent poles), hoping that enough oldtimers and hardliners will vote the other way to solidify the one-party system once and for all.

The sources did not know how education and immigration reform fit into the overall political juggling/jigsaw puzzle.