While chewing my lunch…

Ahh…an appetite for budgetary constraints.  Here’s another tidbit to put into the computer for future admiration — the cost to raise a child in modern society:

 

Family planning has made the news headlines lately and I’ll let it alone.  I’m more interested in comparing apples to oranges, family budget to national government budget, for an analysis that contains no paralysis.

If you want, we can throw in capital punishment for a right good show on touchy topics du jour.

Let’s not and say we’re knotted on this one.

Back to lunch.

Balsa Struts and Tissue Paper

Have you ever created a reason to walk door-to-door, meeting your neighbours, greeting strangers who have internal imagery that defines their perfect center of the universe in domiciles that may or may not define domestic bliss?

In my door-to-door adventures, I asked for Halloween candy; have sold: raffle tickets for junior high school sock hops, desk lamps and other catalog items for Cub/Boy Scout projects, candles and oranges for high school marching band trips, mini-encyclopedias for college spending money; delivered free telephone books; taken survey information for the 2010 U.S. Census.

In the forty or so years of these face-to-face encounters, I have seen houses full of African violets, mobile homes full of marijuana plants, dog/cat feces all over the floor, spotlessly-clean living rooms (implying there was little in the way of living going on in them), ethnic diversity in areas where homogeneity was most coveted, souvenir dinner plates covering walls, people answering the door in a variety of [un]dress and people being as quiet as they can, refusing to open the door.

Do you know the official history of the spot where you call home, even if it’s a carpark where your Travelers’ caravan sits temporarily?

I am a vagabond of thought patterns, meandering from place to place, committed neither to one thought pattern nor another, aware of the vanity that goes with believing any one thought set is a permanent solution to anything in particular.

I have a childhood drawing with three names on the bottom: Rick Hill, Jeff Garwood and Suzanne Trimble.  I guess the drawing was made sometime between the third and sixth year of primary school.

I know the first person very well, have lost touch with the second person and the third person is about to spend seven months in Germany for reasons unknown to me.

However, these three people well represent the types of people I met in my door-to-door wanderings as a child encouraged to impress himself upon his neighbours to exchange labour credits/money for goods/services.

I painted houses, mowed lawns, raked leaves and helped friends in their newspaper delivery routes to provide myself the economic power to participate in the local marketplace during my teenage years.

I suppose children are still providing these services to put spending money in their pockets and deposits in their bank accounts, a few of them buying stamps, comic books, dolls or other collectibles and/or government savings bonds and company stock for investments.

Broken-balsa-wood-and-torn-tissue-paper windup-rubber-band-powered airplanes sit atop dusty stacks of books around me.

A rusty model rocket launch pad rod sticks up out of shopping bag labeled “CIRCUSWORLD TOY & VIDEO CENTER.”

A telescope points toward the ground.

On a pile next to me rests a wire kitchen strainer once used as a parabolic wireless network signal concentrator/reflector.

These items serve as keys or bookmarks for memory locations inside my body.

The generic brick-and-mortar, vinyl-sided, stacked-box objects we call home serve as memory locations for inhabitants, too.

A cave or a bamboo hut.

An adobe hacienda or stone castle.

We are rarely aware of the network of memory locations within us that are triggered by external objects like our homes and their contents.

Is your home rich with memories, both good and bad?

Or, like some of the sterile environments I observed when going door-to-door, is your home mostly unused, filled with objects about which you have little memory recall, the TV and computer serving more as an extension of your thought set than the furniture and facsimile paintings on the walls?

A fellow blogger posted that her friends find her boring.  It’s a matter of perspective.  How imaginative is the thought set of the blogger?  How rich are her memories of growing up?

The Internet has opened the gates that once allowed only the most persistent, imaginative people to appear in mass media.

Now, everyone with a computing device (computer, tablet or mobile phone) can appear in a one-person off-Broadway autobiographical show — a slice of life with no beginning or end, no plot, no climax, just a character carrying on about whatever it is that character wants to put on display.

Liberté, égalité, fraternité.  E pluribus unum.

On a side note, is it just me or does the US FTC (Federal Trade Commission) emblem look like the mask that some of the global protestors have been wearing?:

Holiday Delivery

It began innocently enough.

Years ago, while our local government experimented by inoculating innocent people with viral material, the forerunner to BONS devised a plan to deliver an unknown substance into the not-yet-fully-grown members of a species.

But how…?

Then, during an emergency message session with early members of MORTIE, it hit us.

Halloween candy!  Of course…

But when…?

Now.

The microorganisms and nanobots have been tested until our test subjects got blue in the face and could no longer breathe…but that’s not important right now.

This year, people across the world will stuff their faces with [non]sugar[free] substances that have been molded and coloured with Halloween themes.

Forthwith, this great nation shall finalise the species interconnection dream of a scientist some claim came from another world.

But as you know, what’s the difference between celestial bodies among friends?

No more relying on our main five senses.

Straight-to-nanobot communication will greatly increase our propaganda productivity.

The illusion of freedom of the individual will be complete.

All the old arguments about racial/genetic inequality won’t matter because we’ll all be equally connected.

What’s the point of mind reading if every one of your thoughts has been written by NBN, this new nanobotnetwork?

Those who’ve argued about the detrimental effects of the MSM (mainstream media) will happily embrace the NBN unknowingly.

In fact, most of you already use cars, mass transit, computers, and mobile phones without blinking an eye in revolt.

So eat your Halloween candy, breathe in the clouds of smoke machines, drink bottled/tap water/soda/beer/wine/liquor, bob for apples, drive/ride to parties, and join your families/friends in the holiday revelry.

In the future, don’t call it the contagion.  Call this period in the transition of our species our destiny with technology.

The more candy you, your friends, and family eat, the more the microorganisms and nanobots become part of you, exhaled when you breathe out, passing into the atmosphere and speeding toward full saturation of Earth.

We need this global expansion of the laboratory experiment in order to start the next phase, seeing if atomic level transformation will allow us to modify our species for space travel.

With seven billion specimens as test subjects, we can pick and choose which genetic mutations ensure our highest survival rate while in-transit between celestial bodies.

Besides, the law of unintended consequences will surely create a few new industries we haven’t thought of yet.

Speaking of which, time to get out the Book of the Future and see which industries it tells us will make the out-of-work, frustrated street protestors happy again.

That’s the one thing we haven’t figured out how to solve with the microorganisms and nanobots we’re integrating into the worldwide populace – emotion control.

We can tell you what makes you happy.  We can create enticements that make you want to seek happiness.  You get to the point where you seek happiness without our prodding.

But we haven’t found a 100% unhappiness cure/antidote.

Our soothsayer on staff keeps trying to tell us that unhappiness is an important part of what makes us alive.

Who’m I to disagree with the soothsayer?

Thanks to John at Pizza Hut; Cheryl at Gibson’s BBQ; Shalyn, Connie, Sam, Darrel and others at Publix; Rave Motion Pictures; Brittany at Target; the staff at Brookdale Place.

Happy Halloween – the gobbling will get you if you don’t watch out! Oh, ho ho, ha ha, he he…

 

One Shirt, Two Skirts, Red Shirt, Blue Skirts

Thanks to Penny, Gift and the staff at Thai Garden, to begin with.

The local and the universal.

While tracking meteoric dust streaking across clear, dark, star-filled nights, we pause…

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the hangout, where we stand and shoot the breeze, recalling with ease the moments we encountered the law rolling down the highway — expired tags, headlights out, speeding home after work — and pulling over for friends with badges.

Thanks to the guys at Advance Auto for that one.

And now, as we look back, thanking Brad at Bill Penney Toyota, Tony and Becky of Mowdy’s Old Fashion Apple Butter, the folks at Amis Mill Eatery, Cassie at the Apollo Cafe, Tasheria and Shermika at McDonald’s, and finally, Aaron and Rachel at Walmart, let’s take a breath…

Because here, in skills both rudimentary and complimentary, we spin around the floor at KCDC.

Harold, Joe, Naomi, Nicole, and Kelly instructing patiently.

We, the patients (sometimes patient), repeating, missing the beat but having fun, while high school football rules the battlefields and airwaves, repeating, stepping softly and loudly, sweating, perspiring, laughing, sitting, repeating.

A week before the Halloween party/contest/dance.

Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and back to Friday.

In the span of those 24×7 hours, we’ll see, well…we’ll see what we’ll see.

Tango, samba, rumba, foxtrot, waltz, swing, cha cha, salsa…

Ahh…

Almost sounds like the International Radio Operators or NATO Phonetic Alphabet, doesn’t it?

See why we go dancing?  We can talk about our aerobic activity and pass secret codes in the open at the same time.  Wished you’d thought of it first, didn’t you?

Never underestimate the power of dancing or leaving hints like accidental misspellings or hiding Morse code messages in the rhythm of typed speech.

I’m still a kid at heart, playing cowboys and Indians, knights rescuing damsels in distress, or capture the flag in this grownup body, but on a larger scale than in our neighbour’s backyard.

After all, what else have my friends got to do with our trillions, billions, millions and thousands of dollars wasting away in secret island hideouts?

Turn the whole solar system into an endless game of Dungeons and Dragons, Monopoly, Command-and-Conquer or Civilisations.

Isn’t that what you’re teaching your children?

I sure am.

Money is just a tool, a means of converting labour into investment credits, after all.

If you want to cure cancer, prevent disease, stop malnutrition, convert heathens or feed the poor, go right ahead.

Just don’t expect those who are in the middle of a game between monetised giants to play along with your wants and desires, unless you can find a way to make it interesting to them/us.

I have to keep reminding myself that we’re playing with live ammunition on continental scales because some days I forget they aren’t pop guns, paper boats, model rockets and remote-controlled toy airplanes, anymore.

In either case, the fun is still the same.

Sure, go ahead and pretend the stakes are higher.  To the big boys and girls, though, the local and the universal are the same.

The game is everything.  We’re just chess pieces that’ll all die sometime.

Remember, the rules change as the next set of players gets bored with the old rules and writes new ones to keep the game interesting.

There’s no conspiracy.  There’s only those who are willing to play with the lives of billions and those whose lives are played.  You always have the option of choosing which life you want to be.

See you in the next round we’re calling the Corporation vs. the People.

Choose wisely.

The rules are a little tricky this time – we’re adding an option for a select group of people to leave this planet and start a new game somewhere else, sacrificing a few thousand of us, maybe even millions, to make that option happen.

Sorry, but that’s just the way it has to be, giving all seven billion of us direct participation in the game we choose to play or get played.

Begin the beguine, as they say.

Murdering us with statistics

<start chapter of humorous novel>

As a species, we like to hunt and kill one another, it seems.  So be it.  I admit I am who I am because of what my species does, regardless of the percentage of us who wouldn’t hurt a fly but would call in an air strike without hesitation.

Or kill formerly caged wild beasts, reliving our nomadic hunter-gatherer days once again for 15 5.352 seconds of Internet video fame.

But back to statistics.  Here are two more data points worth considering:

  1. Statistics about the official economy
  2. The lack of statistics about the shadow economy

Next up, give me that oldtimey religion – a word about archaeology and a word about modern belief structures.

= = =

Thanks to Miranda and staff at Beauregard’s, Eric Mc and staff at Chili’s.

= = =

To the Saboteur Squad, you know which solar manufacturers to target – the ones doing the dumping.  Proceed.

<end chapter of humorous novel>

Spoiled by the Malcolm Baldrige National Quality Award

My wife and I consider ourselves fortunate to have grown up with a fastfood retail chain that makes quality a core ingredient: Pal’s Sudden Service, which won the Malcolm Baldrige National Quality Award in 2001.  For an interesting perspective, read where business students studied and reported on the business’ success.

Does that explain our expectations of [near] perfection when visiting fastfood stores for quick meals, especially in Rocket City?

Last night, my wife ordered two meals from a local Wendy’s restaurant.

At the drive-thru order screen, she noticed the total cost displayed was $11.09.

However, when she pulled up to the drive-thru pickup window, she was informed the total was $12.16.

My y wife commented about the discrepancy and was informed offhandedly, “Oh, it’s probably just a glitch in the system,” making my wife feel like she wasn’t taken seriously.  At her request, my wife double-checked with the restaurant worker to make sure the food she ordered was the food she was going to receive.

In addition, she asked for ketchup, was told ketchup was already in the bag and discovered, after opening the bag at home, there was no ketchup.

Thank goodness for the Internet.

On the drive-thru receipt, a website was listed, which we visited, easily finding, at the top of the main page, the link to a sub-page where we could leave a complaint, compliment or suggestion.

We chose the first selection, detailing the above incident.

Within an hour or so, we received an email from the store’s general manager, who asked to speak with my wife about the visit, including details such as the time the incident occurred.

Granted, that is an exceptionally fast response and we commend the Wendy’s franchisee, First Sun Management Corporation, for setting up a quick way to address customer complaints.

However, the email began with a misspelling of my wife’s name.

Details, details, details…

Is it “first impressions don’t last” or “you never get a second chance to make a first impression”?

My wife and I have always noticed that the Wendy’s in another part of town (on University Drive, not far from Cummings Research Park) has a much smoother and more efficient operation than the one my wife visited last night.

Boy, do we miss Pal’s here in north Alabama!

Anyway, I scanned the drive-thru receipt into a PDF file so my wife could email it back to the general manager, who gets to address this issue with her staff, including drive-thru workers and IT personnel, we hope.

Maybe the general manager will take this as a lesson in finetuning how she hones or sharpens her attention to details.  Perhaps she or the FSMC owners should visit Pal’s and see what they’re missing.

In our town, missiles and rockets require the highest level of quality, because a misspelling or a disconnect between the console display and the actual reading onboard usually means the difference between life and death.

My wife is inclined not to visit this particular Wendy’s store again.  We hold nothing against the corporation or its stores in general.  But something about this particular store has always bothered us – slow or lackadaisical service, frequently, as if management is off playing golf or bass fishing, and the workers know it.

We challenge the general manager to prove us wrong, should my wife and/or I visit the store again.

UPDATE: After this story was relayed to my father, he reminded me he was the executive director of the National Center for Quality when he introduced the quality management info about Eastman to the Pal’s ownership/management, including Pal Barger, at Skoby’s Restaurant years ago.

“I can’t take it anymore…I’m going crazy!”

Stain with a stitched-up nose after volunteering to carry a dresser, smiling at Beauregard’s – happy early 21st!

A young woman attempting to test students and categorise them into standards without administering a standardised test.

Stephanie from Brookdale Place Dining Services delivering sandwiches while we finished moving in.

Morgan with blue eyes at the PetSmart checkout counter.

Tommy’s Pizza.

Saying goodbye to Leonard, Brenda, Rob, Kerri, Daryl and the rest of the HarborChase staff.

Kelly the herbalist, Jenn the rocket propulsion specialist, April the doctor of chiropractic.

Was that Todd Lumpkin visiting a relative at HarborChase?

Thanks to Robert, Matt and Kennedy at Two Men and a Truck; Tonya H at the Gondolier in Athens, TN.

Getting your husband a one-day pass on the local military base so he can drop you off and take your car for its scheduled maintenance.

Thanks to Mike at Bill Penney Toyota service dept. for taking care of our 2002 Camry with 190k+ miles.

To Mrs. Rozier, happy early 85th!

In one week, it’s possible to find out your company lost a government contract, you get hired by the winning company, move your mother from one assisted living community to another (arranging a lot of background logistics), attend dance class for two hours, take your mother to visit friends at her hometown, stroll through a street festival, attend a college football game, see friends at a ’70s sock hop for high school classes 1970-1980, eat lunch with in-laws and…what else?  Wash clothes, buy cat food, prepare to teach a scrapbooking class…oh yeah, and think you lost an important refund check that causes you to say out loud in a carpark, “I can’t take it anymore…I’m going crazy!

Frustrated, you return home, rummage through some old bills and find an envelope full of dividend checks and the all-important refund check.

All is good.

You can jump on facebook and read happy messages from your friends.

And then put clothes in the dryer / clothes in the washer, fold clothes, pet/feed the cats, and finally, after washing your face and brushing your teeth, crawl into bed with your husband in a safe and secure middle-class home.

Life is grand.

And then you get to do it all over again!

Staining My Bowling Shoes Red, White and Blue

The Committee’s weekly agenda is loaded down with minutiae.

For instance, what are the official colours of the Committee’s standard/shield/flag?  Should there be a symbol that represents the whole solar system at this point?  Would the planets in orbit suffice as a symbol set and, if so, should we have a side-on profile of the planets or a tilted plane with a snapshot of the planets’ position?  What point in time should the snapshot show? Are there official uniforms for our security personnel or is incognito our motto as well as our dress code?

One of our longterm agenda items is education.  We have allowed the wholescale random education of our children for thousands of years because we’re fully aware people will choose to use education for their own edification, accepting or rejecting what they’ve been taught.  Some (many) will waffle between accepting and rejecting – adding, subtracting, and modifying portions of their “programmed” thought sets at will, based on the mood of the crowd/mob/subcultures they expose themselves to.

In the Futures Lab, our construction expert is working with scientists to architect a building that is ready for robotic maintenance and repair, including HVAC, computing, communication and security systems.  We laughed when a simulation showed a building could be maintained much more efficiently if it didn’t have to be designed to accommodate humans.  We saved that simulation to show we humans may not always be as indispensable as we pretend to be to one another.

When you replace your invisible deity/deities with technology…well, we’ve read enough books and seen enough movies to know what can happen…we improve the manufacture of gods in our image until the gods become omniscient and can manufacture themselves in their own image, whatever that may be, most likely amoral and nonethical.

Lead, follow or get out of the way.

Does it make sense to get robots to grow and process food for us or keep using cheap, imported labour (and/or exported jobs)?

Does the downy woodpecker on the shagbark hickory tree outside the window care about anything I’m saying, especially words like singularity and future shock waves?  No.  That’s a lesson I always take back to the Committee – anthropocentric ideas and technologies are dwarfed by the random acts of universe.

Even the squirrel walking down the tree with a hickory nut in its mouth knows that much.

When you think big, think REALLY BIG.  Otherwise, we’re just bigger versions of squirrels and woodpeckers subject to randomness at the same scales/ranges our ancestors have faced for innumerable generations.