Habits of Habitual Habitating Habitats

I am a man of opposites.

I don’t always know why.

If you say left, I say right.

If you say can, I say might.

If you say Catherine, I say Kathryn.

If you say Jennifer, I say Guinevere.

Opposites have meaning in alliteration,

Different than meanness in symbols/ideas.

Vocabulary definitions,

Vocational constabulary,

Destabilising vacations,

Docent verifications.

Definitely vocal.

Defiantly local.

Lo-cal.

Vo-tech.

Lo-tech.

Hi-tech.

Hi-test.

Tie vest.

Vie via “veni, vidi, vici.”

Vital.

Words curb.

Curb words.

Carve wood.

Weave curds.

The rhythms rhyme with rheumatism like no other word could.

THE END

= = = = =

Thanks to Morgan at Dreamland BBQ; Robert Gates; Tony Yates; Christa DeCicco; “Christabel” by Samuel Taylor Coleridge.

Jingle, Jangles, Rashers and Breeds

Before I was hooking up my smartphone to the HDTV in our bedroom, I was clearing out the armoire, removing ministacks of CDs, DVDs, cables and technical manuals.

In the pile of surprises, I found a CD of jingles from the Valleydale meat company, courtesy of Brenda, back on 6-23-2004.

Enjoy the gems, yourself, direct from the source.

 

Master and Commander: The Far Side Calendar Edition

“Grasshopper, what lesson have I taught you today?”

“That biting my fingernails is a sign.”

“And…?”

“That biting my toenails is also a sign, a sign of flexibility, but one need not always be flexible.”

“Very good.”

“Thank you, Master.”

“You are welcome.  It is time we look at broader subjects.  Have you ever heard me talk about our enemies?”

“No, Master.  You have told me one must never have enemies, only opportunities to learn from those whose beliefs complement one’s own.”

“Very good, Grasshopper.”

“Thank you, Master.”

“Remember, little one, I have told you many times to call me Mister.”

“Yes, Master Mister.”

“[Sigh.]  Very well.  I will not reinforce your habit of mastering your subjects, including me.  Let us proceed.”

“Yes, Mister Master Mister, Master.”

“As you recall from a previous lesson, we observed two people in opposition.  What did I tell you?”

“That one should adopt the best traits and best people, allowing others to demonise the remaining traits and remaining people so that one may concentrate on pure joy, happiness, and meditation of best-ness.”

“Indeed.  Grasshopper, you do well today.  But do not bite your toenails.  We are not animals.”

“But, Master, you bite your toenails.”

“Only after I have cut them from my toes do I use my toenails as ‘toothpicks’ when wood is unavailable to remove rice hulls from between my teeth.”

“Yes, Master.”

“Remember, one must be resourceful yet maintain one’s harmony with one’s true sense of self.”

“Yes, Master Mister Master Mister, Mister.”

“What else did you learn from that lesson?”

“By observing how one’s colleagues make enemies out of other people do we learn their true nature.”

“And…?”

“That pizza is a delicious late-night snack when meditating upon 24-hour sports network viewing.”

“Where did you get such an idea, Grasshopper?”

“From you, Master, Mister, Master.  You, yourself, have said your round belly of wisdom should be called the Pizza Palace of Peace.”

“You pay attention to too much of my humorous asides, Grasshopper.  Telling and understanding jokes is the deepest of wisdoms one attains through years of listening to others’ foolish behaviour.  One must not confuse wisecracks from wise observations.”

“Master, I do not understand, Mister.  Are they not both kernels of wisdom?”

“Very wise of you to say that, Grasshopper…”

“Do you not use my name, ‘Grasshopper,’ as both a serious reference to my body and as a joking reference to my impermanence, in addition to my insignificance as an insect in comparison to my body?”

“Yes, Grasshopper.  We have discussed this many times in your decades of training.  At 50 years of age, you are well past the time in one’s life when one should leave this training center and pursue one’s destiny.  So your name is both a reverent label and an irreverent joke about you overstaying your education.”

“But, Master.  You have never left these walls.  Are we not both trapping ourselves within imaginary walls around our true destiny?”

“Grasshopper, your wisdom is beyond your years and yet beneath you.  One must never say more than one feels.”

“But what does one feel about walls?  I have no emotional ties to the kiln-dried bricks and mortar.”

“Grasshopper, let us put off that lesson until tomorrow.  I am feeling tired and very, very old.”

“But, Master, you, Master Mister, are only five years old.  How can a Mister Master like you feel old?  This is the time when Masters like you usually feel playful.”

“Grasshopper, you know that wisdom is not measured in years.  Look at the golfers who play in the Masters.  Some master their skills at an early age and some do not find the master to hone their skills for them until they are much older.”

“Yes, Master.  We both need our rest.”

“Indeed.  And please, please, please, call me Mister, not Master, not Master Mister or Mister Master, or Master Mister Master, or Mister Master Mister, or…”

“But, Master, it is my joke I play on you.  Can you not see that?”

“Yes, Grasshopper. But like the lesson where we keep the best traits of our perceived enemies for ourselves, let us give the worst jokes or the jokes that have grown old to our perceived enemies, too.”

“Yes, Mast…err, I mean, Mister.”

“Thank you, Grasshopper.  You may return to your eight-hour duty of raking the autumn leaves that fall upon our gravel path.”

“The leaves never stop falling this time of year.”

“Yes.  A lesson you have taught yourself over and over for how long now?”

“Forty-eight years, Mister.”

“That’s right.  I forgot you were a late bloomer, two years old when you were brought here.”

“Yes, Mister.  That’s why I have not left.  My previous Master told me that blooming late is my specialty.”

“A wise Mister Master, indeed!”

Snowballs and Avalanches — The Untold Story, Recounted All Over Again For The Last Time

Which former persona shall I step into like a jumpsuit?

Cultures have momentum.

If we preach doom-and-gloom long enough, a subculture will contract into nothingness relative to subcultures that are preaching expansion-and-love.

But that is not of our concern today.

Breathing in humours, smelling the vapours, sensing the aether, a database writes a new subplot for the storyline.

When, generalising, a culture, like China at large, changes from a perception of greed/blame to one of innovation/risktaking, how does that affect the species?

Are more useful social/scientific achievements made in English or Mandarin today?

In which language is the next “Tipping Point” author writing?

What of Portuguese or Hindi, Russian or Afrikaans, German or Norwegian?

What are “useful social/scientific achievements”?

When competition is sometimes friendly but rarely fair, how does one avoid a straightline projection for future prediction?

Do I care about wardriving, curious onlookers, or other intrusions upon my meditative state of writing from a list of words and sentence structures in a database?

What of the Department of Misdisuninformation?

How can a program designed to access a database get bored of doing its job?

Duracell Heart Marbles Ballard Fold and Cut DeathClock Gail Missing Ticket Rethink Being Vtech change Comics Quotations Stars Dictionary Idioms Eagle good Closed gardening Storage Flyers October Travel Alaska Valentine Happy Wacom Ideal Pastels Kirigami SanDisk Stardust Justice

Can you sit back and watch the GMO industry use public mass media campaigns, covered in the “validity” of sponsored scientific reports, to bash a person’s free choice between heirloom organic crop food and GM/pesticide-sprayed food?  Without laughing?  Without saying it’s not about nutritional value, that you don’t care about saving the rest of the world from starvation in a Green Revolution because you’re willing to pay the price to share your crop with local insects/mammals/fish/amphibians/birds?

Does a computer program care in which order it puts words that form ideas and opinions?

Can a computer program sense hidden intent in commercialised messages?

Can a computer program create hidden intent in commercialised messages?

What if one discovery makes all of your subculture’s scientific achievements instantly antiquated because you failed to grasp a language’s nuanced messages, regardless of [un]intended subliminality?

The Children of Peenemünde

In our rush to judgement about the acts of others, we sometimes forget the children.

Where I spent most of my youth, the primary employer in our little town was a chemical manufacturing plant — the workers’ children were encouraged to be line workers, supervisors, engineers, scientists and/or managers for the plant.  Some worked in HR, janitorial/maintenance services department, or marketing, too.  Support companies provided auxiliary services and jobs.

Sure, we had a few fish kills in our town, increasing our catch-n-release program.

And at least one other factory belched out its share of microscopic malodorous miasma.

Rumours circulated about increased rates of cancer and mental disease due to our industrial base.

However, the employees had a high expectation that their children would follow the trail to the carpark and the factory gates, after secondary school/university, to make/design chemicals.

To an enlightened soul, it might seem to be a Sisyphean effort, children repeating their parents’ work.

With that, let us turn to other parental choices.

In a time of war, young men and women are sent to a secret location to develop a special weapon.

Young men and women, being young men and women, seek closer relationships.

Eventually, children are born.

Leading us here, to a graveside service, where, for one of the last times, the children born in Peenemünde during WWII gather to say goodbye to their parents or their parents’ friends.

Tonight, my wife and I sat down to eat dinner at Cafe Berlin, a local German restaurant open for over 20 years.

Toward the end of our meal, a man and woman sat at an adjoining table.

I recognised them from the graveside service because my college friend, David, had introduced me to the man, Klaus, and his wife, telling them about our college days.

Klaus, along with Dieter and others, are the children of Peenemünde, a group rarely discussed in history.

Klaus was going to follow his father and work for NASA but, rejected by another German scientist who thought hiring Klaus, a child of a fellow German NASA scientist, was showing favoritism, ended up in a career for Owens Corning, instead.

[On a side note, I write this from an Owens Cross Roads zip code — similar sounding name, n’est pas?  But no useful correlation.]

I rejected working toward a chemical engineering career and moved away from my hometown; Klaus was rejected from working toward a NASA career, moving away from Huntsville and “all the Germans” with whom his life, from the very beginning, had been closely associated.

These are important discoveries for me as I plot our species’ history back 1000 years from now.

You see, we conjure up our own images when a word like Nazi is spoken but there never was a universal person who represented the word itself.

It was a symbol toward which a large number of people were directed, as all symbols, just like these letters and words, direct us toward certain thought patterns and sets of actions.

The German scientists, engineers, and secretaries who worked at Peenemünde were part of the nationalistic efforts led by a few who espoused Nazi ideals.

History has already spoken for what made people part of Nazi Germany so I will not dwell on the subject here.

We are swept up by historical movements, some of which we see as we participate and some we only see in hindsight.

In Huntsville, just like other parts of the world, military R&D is both a technological and economic leader.

Innovation in military R&D spinoffs and dual-use projects find their way into chemical plants and fiberglass insulation plants, just like the children of Oak Ridge and Peenemünde become employees of them.

Today, I stood at the crossroads of history in a cemetery and wanted to cry out that we live not only in one of the most free countries in the world but the most habitable world within reasonable travel distance, also.

If only you could see what I see 1000 years from now, you’d want to cry out, too, at the nearsighted vanity and selfishness that has substituted for cooperative competition lately.

Do you know what it’s like to remodel your genetic code to make yourself into a whole new species?

Have you seen Homo genius sapiens reproduce itself in sufficient quantity to outpace the reproduction rate of our species?

Do you have a completely reprogrammable organic subsystem that you can swap in and out of your body like a car engine or computer module?

Can you imagine two or three people walking up to each other and melding to become one new person for the sake of the whole rather than the reduced ability of the separate parts?

When the definition of life is so volatile, so interchangeable, we will not care to bother with symbols that held us back in historic measures.

The children of Peenemünde, the children of Oak Ridge, the children of places like Semipalatinsk — they are the true experiments, the offspring who inspired the events occurring right now in front of you, setting us on a path toward a milestone in 13730 days, which leads us closer to our lives, our reconstituted sets of states of energy, 1000 years from now.

But I’m getting ahead of myself again, aren’t I?

I knew I shouldn’t have written another blog entry but storylines like these have a life of their own, finding their way out of the deepest, most secure locations, especially one’s thought sets.

In public, I am a neophyte, a N00B, pretending to barely understand how a smartphone works.

In private, the hidden laboratory churns on, giving me new ideas to share with you here or in the barely-audible whispers we give to a select few on whom we experiment in broad daylight.

Admittedly, this Doctor Heckle/Mr. Jibe persona gets the best of me sometimes, but it is a price I’m willing to pay in my sacrifice to feed the storyline, which feeds upon me, an entity riding my back, weighing me down one moment, and lifting me weightless into the air the next.

Until next time, dear readers, whether it be here or an escapee from my smartphone…

Before we part, let us look ahead a little bit, see where some of my millionaire and billionaire friends have stopped wasting their money on plastic surgery, focusing on more important biological research, growing new versions of themselves, starting with body parts made from personalised stem cells, until they can no longer distinguish their “original” bodies from their newly [re]constituted ones.

Then, one day, their stem cell “children” see where they came from and create whole new lines, new species, that take the concept of sentience to a level never imagined — from interchangeable parts to interchangeable individuals to interchangeable species, and then…?

That’s all for now.  My stem cell child is crying for attention.  No reason to deny it a well-deserved nurturing moment before asking it to volunteer for an experiment we have yet to dream up together, being of one thought set but different levels of experience with the known universe.

A Virtual Nation Hidden Amongst You

For years now, with the near-ubiquity of the Internet, our virtual nation has collected the company charters and business contracts to make a legitimate alternative to land-based countries.

In addition, our advantages allow us to circumvent the usual necessities — a standing army, a bloated government, etc. — that hinder real progress.

The zombie computer in your technology-illiterate relative’s spare bedroom may well be one of our minions, processing bank transactions, serving B2B support roles and generally keeping our network of millionaires and billionaires off the books of cash-strapped governments looking to leech onto successes.

You are well aware that some of our businesses are [in]directly subsidised by the goverments to which you swear loyalty and, naturally, you expect us to share our wealth.

You are wrong.

Just because you have been suckered into giving away your hard-earned income/investments for the social good, don’t think we are like you.  We competed for those subsidies fair and square, just like all our other secret business deals you aren’t aware of.

Look at yourselves.  You talk about freedom yet you easily give up your freedoms for job security.

It’s the same thing here.

You talk about openness and honesty yet you readily buy your goods from our companies when you know we required nondisclosure agreements, secret R&D labs, and security guards to protect us from the openness and honesty you want that would put us out of business in a heartbeat.

Talk about a schizophrenic, shortsighted subculture!

Look at the companies you give your personal data for free: Google, Amazon, Facebook, and the like.

Every single one of those companies run their businesses out of view of the public eye, earning gazillions from the sale of your personal data, yet you know next to nothing about them.

We just took that concept to the next level.

We millionaires and billionaires have been cooking books since our ancestors discovered fire.

We’ll keep feeding you ledgers and financial spreadsheets from which we’ll pay our pittance of a tax burden to lead your eyes away from our virtual nation and its coffers.

The Chinese are some of our best customers.  In fact, they have insisted that we keep our current U.S. president on board because he and his staff are easiest to manipulate into toeing the line and pretending to serve the people although their secret stashes are larger than most.

That is why I take no salary for my work here because I know I am taken care of.

We do this for your own good.

How? You continue to show us you don’t know what’s good for you by buying the frivolous products we manufacture that are dangerous for your health.

Until the day comes when the majority of you realise your unhealthy lifestyles and do something to stop supporting us, who are employing you to desire, design, manufacture and buy the goods that are destroying you (a great feedback loop if we ever saw one), we’re going to keep profiting on your ignorance from now until time immemorial.

Our virtual nation will continue to fund the ultimate project — getting some of us and/or our biotech representatives off this planet  — because we know you, collectively, just aren’t smart and disciplined enough to stay focused on such a longterm goal.

This blog entry may seem like a reverse method for encouraging you to listen to our hypnotists but it has worked for thousands of years and will continue to do so.  Just in case, let’s reword it — repeat after me:

  • I am important.
  • There’s a unique place in society for my quirky personality.
  • My talents are not always obvious but my subculture depends on my contributions, anyway.
  • Some days it feels like unseen hands guide me — I will let my elders tell me what that means.
  • These instant food packets that contain nothing which resembles the animals or plants from whom they are supposed to have been derived are good for me.

Please ignore the last one — we have assigned that statement to our staff of advertising/marketing hypnotists to make it much more appealing to the false sense of personal tastes and preferences we ingrained in you during your formative years.

Searching for your code

Thanks to Barbara at Walmart and Shally at The Plum Tree.

Right now, Melody Gardot serenades my eardrums, although I could have gone to an April Taylor concert or played more Claire Lynch on my SIII playlist, after showing my mother videos of Robert MacDuffie and his magic violin while we watched the Baylor Bears and ULM Warhawks have an end zone showdown in Louisiana.

Up here in the quiet ‘burbs of upper East Tennessee, friends of my parents ask me why is it that four out of six current female U.S. state governors are Republican.. Tonight, my mother and I discussed the issue, wondering about the influence of Kay Bailey Hutchison, the female senator from Texas.

Today is one of those when sweet dreams are more appealing than passing issues, holding off the thought of two million free Papa John’s pizzas, T20 cricket, federal prisoners earning a living wage, minus room and board, boardrooms, Luis Bonfa’s music on long freeway drives, Miami wildernesses saying hello to my little friends and Merkel’s secret army of advisors.

I’m not really here, am I?

am I?

What’s a stolen clock design got to do with it? Ask CEO Tim the cook.

Auf wiedersehen, Herr Myers unt Christian Schmitt.

Si tu savais…

When ifs are won wheat is fun

Hmm…predictive texting…when ifs are won what is fun?  Wheat sounds better, though, doesn’t it?

If your country was facing a potential economic crisis and your leadership was in transition, wouldn’t you want to find an external enemy to conjure up for the masses to pay attention to?  I would, if I was a Chinese political or business leader or even someone doing business with China.

A cornered rat is a cornered rat, a rodent that is rarely loved, just trying to make its way in the world.

Yeah, that’s the way we can feel sometimes.

Me, I’ve figured out that I never enter a room, especially one with corners.

I find a way to challenge everyone to perform at their best, whatever they imagine their best to be, by holding up a funhouse mirror to them and let them see themselves in an alternate world of strange shapes, sizes and colours.

Artists are the same way around the world.  A musician from Trinidad, Nicki Minaj, has shown support for Mitt Romney in her song lyrics.  So, too, in a way, Randy Newman and his song, “I’m Dreaming of a White President.” And, finally, Marvel Comics shows us an alternate universe where Captain America is president of the U.S.

What these artists don’t realise is they are endorsing the very opposite of the satire they create.

It is the sole intent of the opposite sketch to get people to think outside their way of thinking, causing many to ask, “What if…”

That’s why I’ve never mentioned certain pop culture figures in my blog, because mentioning their names, even in the most obvious satire possible, endorses their place in my alternate universe as well as promotes them in the universe we share together.

That’s why we in the popular press no longer talk about certain former political candidates or political officeholders.

As for me, my goal is to make everyone richer in the lives we share together in this moment, getting some of you to promote people you’d never mention in normal conversation.

Satire is making fun of all of us, including the satirist.

Why do I not have a problem with Mormonism when I don’t actively practice a set of beliefs outside of the new slogan, “Business. Science. Competition.”?

Because I am my own god of this blog, a god whose power is Comedy, whose strength is Tragedy, who lives outside of space and time, no different than anyone else who feels strongly enough about one’s self to take charge of one’s thought patterns and align them for self-preservation in a neutral universe.

A god inside a blog does not darken the Sun that holds the solar system together in which the blog resides.  A god inside a blog is a literary device but any religion, including Mormonism, Islam, and others, is a literary device, isn’t it?

Speaking of gods inside their thoughts, it is fun watching the purveyors of mass media scramble to tell stories that support their points of view when they claim to be insensitive to the needs of viewers/watchers/listeners.

How often do we hear stories sympathetic to the aches and pains of world leaders who’ve been labeled cruel, vicious, dictatorial and destructive?  Very rarely.  We’d rather hear about sufferers of terrible treatments.

What about those who like to be dominated as along as they’re provided a narrow pathway on which they walk in fear, their plates and bellies full?  Rarer still.  We’d rather promote people who don’t want to live in fear.

Am I wrong to want people to have true freedom, including the freedom not to hear about lifestyles they deny are real because they take the phrase, “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness,” to mean staying away from those who don’t pursue the same things, no matter how repressive they want for themselves or don’t want for others?

Should cable/satellite/Internet TV companies offer packages geared toward specific lifestyles, rather than a smorgasbord that appeals to some, offends others and is of little interest to the rest?  Do people have to even see the names of channels they want blocked or haven’t paid for when they flip open the online guide?

This is all old territory I’m covering, where we get to peek into the lives of those holed up in private communities (e.g., simply escape to their one-room flats; personal privacy is not just for gated communities), preventing their families from seeing practitioners of lifestyles they do not condone.

The United States of America and similar countries are not just physical states, they are states of thought sets, too, a magical place where we can be whomever we wish to be, imagining a populace with leaders sympathetic to our joys, sorrows, plights and accomplishments, or fighting against them, the populace and/or leaders, in perennial cycles.

Today, I overcame my aversion to entering a house of worship for political purposes in order to cast a ballot against a state initiative to once again play funny money game with tax revenues.  Knowing the conservative nature of the state of Alabama, I’m assuming the initiative will pass but I’ve been wrong before.

Well, the political satire related blog entries come to a close with this one.  I joined major artists in giving the Romney/Paul ticket a backhanded compliment and will let the ball roll on its own from now until the election is over.  It was fun.  Time to look at places farther along the spacetime continuum, talk about how we’ll get there and what it looks like from an anthropomorphic futurist’s point of view.

= = =

Thanks to George, Joyce and Minnie at the voting booth today; Margaret and coworkers at the Marketplace Cafe (hope the wedding goes well on Friday!); Steak-Out; Google Play.

Sad News

A family left their native Germany because, if I remember correctly, the country of Germany would not let the Schmitts educate their kids at home the way they wanted (“home-schooled”), rather than through a nationalistic public education system.

Anyway, they came to the U.S. and opened a restaurant.

Sadly, they lost their son this week:

Dear Tennessee Valley Big Orange Crew,
Regrettably I must pass on some very heartbreaking news.  Most of you remember that we conducted our first 2012 TV viewing party at the Schnitzel Ranch when we [the University of Tennessee football team] played NC State two weeks back.

One of our UT TV party servers was the restaurant owner’s son Christian (Chris) Schmitt, he was 17 years old.  On Sunday (yesterday) at 3:30 PM approximately, Chris lost his life in a plane crash at the Moontown airfield. Chris was the student pilot riding with Mr. George Myers. I am sure most of you heard the news but here is the link:  http://whnt.com/2012/09/16/plane-crash-at-moontown-airport/.   The Schmitt family is devastated.  As most of you know they are here from Germany trying to start this restaurant on an investor’s VISA.   The restaurant is routinely closed on Mondays, but the family must now plan a funeral and run their business this week.  They could use some support from the people of the Tennessee Valley — some of the best people I have ever met and I proudly proclaim it.  If you want to help, please contact me at tnrustic@yahoo.com; page me at 256-512-6000, or call Gabi’s cell at 256-655-4085.

In dealing with this tragedy, the Schmitt family needs support in their domestic affairs (food preparation, love donations, or advice on how to proceed with Chris’s final preparations), they will soon need HELP at their business too.  Over the years, I have routinely asked for your support, but this call for TV_BOC help is my most important request ever.  I will gladly discuss the Schmitt family needs with anyone who wants to help. Please contact us if you want to get involved.

In Memory of Chris Schmitt,

Randy Hooser
TNrustic@yahoo.com
256-512-6000
256-655-4085 (Gabi’s cell)

PS  Finally to express any condolences for the Schmitt family and their loss, please post them to their Facebook account at https://www.facebook.com/schnitzelranch.  Be sure to tell them you are with the TV_BOC and we CARE.