Grinder

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Thx to Marcus, hostess and kitchen at Longhorn; Mary and projectionist at Carmike; Aleia at Maple Street Grill.

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A ding against mothers and fathers who can’t keep their kids from swinging out car doors which scratch brand-new motor vehicle paint in carparks (yeah, Volvo owner who drove off, I’m talking to you and your careless family — curses on you: may your kids suffer incurable car problems the rest of their lives and may you smell of moldy elderberries to rhe end of your days).

I remember my Ecuadorian mystery teacher from a misty youth…

Leads me to fond thoughts of Latin Americans literature…100 Years of Solitude, etc.

If you think tracking your phone calls is scary, just wait!

How German blood purity research led to the U.S. government granting DNA collected from blood samples of arrested citizens…hmm…why wait to arrest U.S. citizens to get their DNA samples when they’re already assumed to be guilty by association?  Ooh, look, the government has saved us again from another mysterious terrorist attack threat — I’m shaking in my boots with fear, excitement and patriotism.  I suddenly feel the urge to stand up, salute and sing, “My country ’tis of thee, devoid of liberty, I feel thy sting…

There is a new planet to settle called Mars where, one hopes, a libertarian Utopia (and don’t get me started on oxymorons, you peroxide morons) will reboot civilisation as we know it.

In other words, let’s have some fun, shall we?

I’m busy cleaning out a crawlspace for a supercomputer network free from mettling by the Mystery Inc. gang and their Mystery Machine (a/k/a the Nobody’s Spying Again, a/k/a the NSA).

See you soon, you pioneering pilgrims orienteering your merit badges for brownie points!

 

[i.e., my posts will be limited the next few days]

All clear

The gastroenterologist, Dr. Billings, said this morning that except for one persistent polyp he couldn’t remove, detailed below, I’m free of colonoscopies for the next three years:

http://www.divethoughts.com/thoughts/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/alien_john_hurt1.jpg

(Video: http://www.ugo.com/therush/nastiest-kills-john-hurt-alien)

Thanks to Wanda in scheduling as well as the other happy, smiling/happy nurses/assistants at the Center for Colon and Digestive Disease.

Thanks to Penny, Ferdy, and David at Thai Garden.

When I was a kid…

When I was a kid, my parents’ house had those sliding wooden doors that recessed into doorframes.

You had to manually slide the door out by hand, though.

Of course, as an adult, my wife and I installed the “Star Trek” style doors in our house.

Whenever I go to friends’ houses, it’s so strange to wave my hand in the air or walk up to a door and it not open/close automatically.

I blame the “Star Trek” franchise for spoiling me and hating my technologically-challenged friends!

Poor Hillary

Poor Hillary. She keeps riding the coattails of scandalous clowns who pretended to be powerful. Such a bad judge of character she is, eh?

But Bill G is right — playing games with politicians is too easy because they don’t make anything tangible.

How ’bout an H2G2 history lesson to divert our attention, instead?

Cut off my finger to spite my face

Can a government be completely “fired” for gross negligence and mismanagement, as if tens of thousands of sexual assaults in the military under your watch as Commander-in-chief wouldn’t be enough to get you fired in real life, let alone all the other CYA speeches of those in charge?  God, what a fecking joke!

I had ignored my parents’ plea to not give any leeway to the current U.S. President because he is unfit for duty but now?!  Well, Mom and Dad, your fears are justified.  Get this guy out of office before he becomes a total international laughingstock.

This is so much fun!  Feel free not to join me in having a field day guffawing at the tragicomedy that governments around the world have become.

I am gladly losing my mind, letting my thoughts run amok in the muck of readymade yellow journalism handed to us by the government officeholders themselves!

Pardon me while I split my side with laughter.

My tears of unfettered joy are better than throwing pebbles in the pond.  Pitter-patter patterns of water fountains sprayed across the still waters like a hailstorm.

Hahahahahahahahaha

What do I care about reality or fantasy, phantasmagorical allegories about defunding national public radio and re-establishing the House UnAmerican Activities Committee to publicly accuse and convict the jesters on the throne?

If I die laughing now, I will have achieved my wildest dreams, seeing space colonies, “cities in a tin can,” circling Earth in preparation for Moon and Martian frontier towns, while having taken down, in my imagination at least, the so-called democratic government of the largest economy on this planet.

Let’s have a celebration.

“Party of one, please.  A booth near the back of the restaurant.  And bring me a list of your finest wines.  I want to pretend I’ll be running up a tab I can’t pay, much like our legislators and executive branch government employees, either elected or hired through a faulty screening process.”

How about an interplanetary communication/research satellite battle?

Or a well-placed solar flare?

I knew a time would come when ruling the imaginary universe from this blog would get the best of me.

Either that or cat hair clogging the notebook computer cooling fan.

Power corrupts and absolute ownership of one’s power words corrupts absolute zero.

I could go seven years of no sex with my wife for the kind of mental exercise the latest media circus has put my thoughts through.

But, I’ve neglected Guinevere and what she’s been doing on Mars lately, haven’t I?

Guinevere, my dear, how does your garden grow?

With silver bells and cockle shells, and pretty maids all in a row?

Mairzy doats and dozy doats and liddle lamzy divey: A kiddley divey too, wouldn’t you?

And so your garden grows!

I shall cry at the last scene of Les Miserables one more time.

Welcome!

Welcome to Amateur Hour at the White House.  Our clowns on staff will be with you shortly…

My ancestors were hunting native Americans before Tennessee was a state.  We’re not afraid to defend our country against the excesses of a government out of control.

Until more heads roll, let’s see how many scandals we can cause after these first rounds have had their full impact.

Dad, you shall be avenged!