Decanter handle: the truth

Intimacy has more than one definition.

Intimate details.

Intimate relationship.

A polyamorous person intimates intimacy in public and in privacy.

In the span of a few hours, one watches the intimacy of actors pretending to live intimately over 19+ months on a trip to Europa, becomes intimate with the details of one person’s life followed by another and another.

Back to the dance — following and leading.

Opposites attract.

A young man loses his girlfriend, then within two weeks, his grandmother (like a mother to him) has triple-bypass surgery, and a week later, he tears his meniscus.  He, a man half Brazilian, half American, blacker than black, but nearly hairless thanks to his Brazilian half, no need for a Brazilian wax.  Depression is easy to give in to but one must move one, mustn’t one, especially when one is so far away from his grandmother he has to fax his love and hugs to her?

And the depths of the stories of another — dear, sweet Bai — the daughter of a Baptist preacher, related to others in her family of Anabaptist faith, almost married a charismatic Pentecostal follower; she played piano, led the choir, organized/arranged church music leadership, her mother looked like Audrey Hepburn who has an inheritance of seven figures’ worth of jewelery to pass on; moved in with her boyfriend before marrying, got pregnant, her father telling her that if you’re going to sin, do so willingly and with gusto before God’s hand sweeps down [in punishment?], willing to face the consequences of your actions; got tattoos in her early 30s; more stories to tell than I can remember to write down…

And our resident Frenchman, who is unique in his own way outside of the fact he is from France.  Likes firm mattresses, no need for a boxsprings; bought a room full of furniture for $100 (was asked $80 but offered $20 more to get help moving the stuff) from an expat returning home overseas; his best time of the day is from 10 p.m. to 4 a.m.

A pretty young woman who seems so familiar, got into nursing school a semester ago, and along with her ROTC program must keep her grades up to complete her nursing degree.

A revolving door of stories.

The waitress/server who looks 21 but says she is 32.

The young man who spent all day playing his drum set and is looking for a fulltime gig with a band full of players who are serious about having fun practicing/performing music all the time.

Trying to understand where life is going to take us next as faces move in and out of the fog/noise of what we do to make ends meet.

On the way to the outpost, the happy place, the rest stop, the relaxation, the meditation point where friends, workers, companions, and lovers get together at the end of the day of setting up shop on Mars, where there is little in the way of the “fat of the land” to aid us when we’re unable to make ends meet.

That’s where the stories and the creativity begin.

Where endings are written.

The conflicts, the drama, the clash and mesh of personalities.

One day you’re sharing rent for a flat and the next day you’re out on your own paying full price.

If you can’t handle authority, you become your own boss.

And if you can’t handle that?  Well, that’s where the next story picks up.

How to generate magic, mesmerising, hypnotising, convincing you that what I have to give you you are willing to exchange labour/investment credits to have for yourself — goods, services, imaginary images, memories that last a lifetime.

When the government foments minirevolutions to keep the majority in its pocket, you know that there is nothing that can’t be done, given the right resources and enough time, or even if there is not enough time and too few resources.

All about adaptation.

You want the truth?

There is no truth.  There is only illusion.

A set of states of energy is not even a set, or states, or energy.

Understand that, you understand nothing.  And everything.

The story is king.  The plot the queen.  The subplots are children plotting to overthrow.

Advice to a small world

So what can I say? In a town full of suits, my wife and I walk into an office building on the square (where it’s hip to be square) and meet, much to our surprise, Kelly Moise, investment advisor for Dryden, Bound & Associates, also wife of Patrick, a new friend of ours.

Great to know that Kelley has finished several marathons which she compared to giving birth — you don’t remember the pain of the last one until you’re well-committed to the next.

We look forward to securing our financial future.

In the meantime, we enjoy good food and drink at Below The Radar Brewhouse, thx to George and the crew.

20,790 spam messages in queue

The best way to see where unintended circumstances will lead you is to take a cynical approach to your serious disposition.

Then, the future is the moment you’ve been waiting for, planning, biding your time and biting your nails about.

You needn’t worry that nothing will happen.

I was once famous on a local scale.  In junior high school, I actually had a fan club.  Sure, the club members were mostly gay guys and socially awkward girls but there were club buttons and other regalia to celebrate my celebrity status.

In high/secondary school, I was somewhat popular but I didn’t know it.  As the president of the school’s drama club for two straight years, along with appearances on stage as an actor and singer, I attracted a small following that I didn’t even know existed until I got on Facebook a few years ago and a few women my age wanted to start fantasy relationships that I saw had started in their thoughts many, many years ago.

I knew there were some people who looked up to me when I won the four-year U.S. Navy ROTC scholarship to Georgia Tech.

It was as if I had led a charmed life the first 18 years of my existence and didn’t appreciate the relative ease with which I breezed through my public school days until I left the small town and its suburban tracts for the big city.

I look back at all that, two-thirds of my life ago, and understand why I believe I am comfortable dying at any time.

I have always been happy to be alive, accepting whatever comes my way, but at the same time wanting to stay ahead of my ennui, the situational depression that dogs me like a hungry animal scenting my fear and chasing after me.

I see news headlines pop up about one subject or another that concerns populations of people out of eye and earshot and I wonder what’s going on.

Why do religious people fear nonreligious people, for instance, or vice versa?  I am perfectly comfortable in my belief that the universe both was and was not created by a supernatural being (God, in my subculture’s parlance, who miraculously created a son on Earth named Jesus (pronounced “Hey, Zeus!” of course)).  The labels we choose to describe a series of events that took place long before any of us or our ancestors could read or write is whatever we want them to be.  Our behaviour toward each other is still as important whether our origin story is called “God created the heaven and earth” or the “Big Bang.”

It is the noise or clutter that jams the airwaves with whatever people deem important enough to promote themselves and their ideas for a better life.

For others of us, one’s set of beliefs takes a second seat in the second row to hard facts like how gravity is variable across the surface of large celestial bodies but averages out sufficiently so that mathematical equations can be converted to algorithms to guide spacecraft around and land them upon distant planets, moons and other satellites.

We can fill our spare time with noise and clutter — the chattering class’ favourite topics du jour.

However, let us keep our longterm goals clearly, distinctly and loudest in our thoughts and actions.

The Mars mission continues!  Every idea counts, such as Ad Astra.

And entertaining diversions such as Europa Report.

Redirected thought patterns

Weeks (months?) ago, I deactivated my Facebook account, removing myself from the habit of reading posts about the lives and daily habits of close to a thousand people, a few I’ve known since early childhood and several hundred I got to know during my secondary school day over 30 years ago.

Before that, I had taken a few social media holidays, not checking Facebook/LinkedIn for weeks at a time, but found myself returning because of the temptation to click on an app icon or scroll through my list of favorite Web links for personal entertaining distractions.

I have missed some of my Facebook friends because I do not see them in my life except through social media contacts.  Some of them said they have missed me, too.

This morning, while bemoaning the fact my wife was once again too tired last night to stay and dance at the nightclub after our West Coast Swing dance lesson, aching for someone to dance with but even our feline companions too wrapped up in their catnaps to play with me, I desire conversation with anyone, in any form, to feed my need for social contact.

What’s the point of planning a trip to Mars, with the major deadline 13421 days ahead, if I won’t assert myself when my needs clash with my wife’s?

She, like many other patrons at the nightclub, works in a day job.

She, like many others at the nightclub, have experienced tragedies in their lives that weigh heavily on their thought sets at the most inopportune times.

At a moment like this, I remember again the advice that Wilma in the Finance department of our local GE office gave me.

Wilma had called me to ask why I had exceeded the customary number of sick days for the previous quarter.

I explained to her that my wife had not been feeling well lately and wanted me to stay home with her on those days, in order to make her feel better.

Wilma told me it was a sign of weakness on both my wife’s and my part to facilitate the behaviour of a female spouse feeling sick and wanting her husband to care for her, taking both of them away from their social duties as active/useful employees of respectable companies.

Wilma, a spinster/bachelorette who liked going to nightclubs to see male strip shows, said that as an older woman, even if she’d never been married, she knew a thing or two about the way women will try to manipulate and control men.

She felt I was too easily giving in to my wife’s subtle control of the marriage.

That was in the late 1980s, early in my marriage.

Fast-forward nearly 25 years later and here I sit, remembering what one of the ladies with whom I danced briefly as our dance instructor had us rotate partners during the dance lesson said to me last night.

The beautiful brunette, wearing a dark-coloured dress that complemented her figure, looked me in the eye after we had struggled through a new dance move and said, before I started to say I must have messed up, “I can’t blame what just happened on you because a lady never blames a man for mistakes on the dance floor.  I will say it was either my fault or neither of our faults.”

Talk about boosting my ego!

In return, I offered that we try the move again.

It was in stark contrast to the previous attempt, much smoother.

It was in stark contrast to what I have often heard my wife say, “You didn’t do this” or “You didn’t do that,” expecting me to be more like the dance instructor in his suave, nearly-perfect dance leadership.

However, my wife is getting better at not putting the struggles to complete a dance move solely at my feet, thanks in part to our instructors pointing out that my wife has equal responsibility to dance her steps correctly so that I don’t have to overcompensate when I sense she is not following my lead.

I have much to learn in my pedestrian life apart from the thoughts of Martian exploration, technology experimentation and searching the world for someone with whom I can carry on a meaningful conversation.

Or maybe, as my parents told me when I was a kid, I just think too much.

iThink therefore iAm…or am I an Iams cat food customer?

The mad geniuses working in the subterranean laboratory were tired of my barking them orders all the time so they challenged me to come up with something they hadn’t thought of or wouldn’t think of.

At the same time, my wife has been badgering encouraging me to get rid of the old junk in my study.

Two and two make six, if each two made one [baby] but up to 20 if each two included an octomom.

Therefore, I dug through the piles of defunct/archaic electronic equipment and pulled out the following — a tangerine iMac with keyboard and mouse, a Macintosh II with a 14″ Macintosh monitor, keyboard and mouse, and boxes upon bags of floppy disks.

Three-Caballeros

Next on my list of projects-yet-to-be is to convert these items into an interactive front yard art sculpture.

The tangerine iMac will be the head, the Mac II case will be the torso, the 14″ monitor will be the pelvis and the floppy disks will be the scaly skin of the knight in shiny armour jousting at imaginary windmills (or mosquitoes, depending on the season).  The keyboards may be arms and the mouseys may be hands — I don’t know yet.

Somewhere in my garage, I have a motion sensor security light that I will use as an activator to entertain passersby who will see the Simple Simon of a body move about when they pass by.

Ex

Our heartfelt thoughts go out to a friend who’s having legal difficulties with her ex-husband.  May her ex find it in his thoughts to move on into new joys for his life, free of hers.