The deciduous forest is buzzing and chirping today

A yellow jacket, a sweat bee and a fly are chasing each other in the slit of sunlight that passes over the rubbish bin this late Friday morning.

Getting permission to import them to Mars was no easy task.

I could not import dragonflies.

Vibratoids, the equivalent of speakers or earphones embedded in my body, give me the sensation that I’m in a deciduous forest as I walk through the greenhouse that serves as our meeting room, food growth chamber and place for general meditation.

The vibratoids make me think that insects are buzzing in treetops and birds are chirping as they fly from limb to limb looking for food.  The sound of wind through tree limbs and the small blasts of air on my arms, neck and face add to the immersion algorithm’s programmed goal of acclimating me to Mars with occasional reminders of what Earth must feel like, what we jokingly call the decompression chamber effect.

But I have work to do.  I cannot dwell too long on the memories of a planet I get to visit less and less often as the Martian colonies mature, requiring my attention, not to mention my declining health — I don’t know if I can endure many more trips.

I remember my last night on Earth.

But before I do, I’ll tell you a joke repeated to me by a fellow traveler to Mars, a tourist named Adyer Xedif.  A juvenile joke but one I’ve heard more than once from first-time visitors —  Q: If men are from Mars and women are from Venus, where are politicians from? A: Uranus.

I hear the rapid flutter of the wings of a hummingbird pass before my eyes but I see only the bird’s green body and white-tipped tail in my imagination.  Oh, how the immersion algorithm can be so cruel without knowing it!

We are a small set of colonies here, able to manage ourselves without the need for the professional political class of workers so, needless to say, we get a lot of jokes about politicians when tourists and new settlers begin to realise they won’t have politicos to blame for inefficiencies and errors that occur because, as we know, we want a perfect world and we train for a perfect world but we don’t live on a perfect world.

Our customer complaint system is a throwback to the time when “free market capitalism” was the rule of the day, including some societies on Earth.

We call it the customer complaint system for tourists and visitors although we know it locally as the PS or ProbSolv department.

Solving problems.  Rewriting algorithms, correcting databases and reconfiguring hardware.

As quantum computing devices that closely resemble the humans we used to be, we are able to adapt and adjust to changes on a colonywide scale much more rapidly than the old mass media socioeconomic shifts that often took generations, or Earth-based decades, to accomplish — within milliseconds, software updates will rewire our central nervous networks to accept the change from decentralised ant colony system to an interconnected but independent system of birds flocking during migration as programmers test the currently-accepted best practices method for colony survival.

But I digress.

The last night on Earth…sigh…

The cheerful look on Guin’s face after her trumpet performance with the Comet Plasma band playing big band tunes of the 1940s, her purple-and-black eye shadow, her…eyeglasses?

Why, in this day and age of implanted autocorrecting lenses did Guin wear eyeglasses?

Hmm…good question.

Anyway, Guin reminded me again she needs a new dance partner.

While watching the couples competing on the dance floor, I thought about what Guin and I have been through, our first trip to Mars, her decision to stay when I left, her decision to return to Earth for one more grand tour, talked into playing her trumpet again, with me now back on Mars and her still on Earth.

Why do I sense a vulture flying overhead?  How can a bird at an altitude hundreds of feet above me affect the vibratoids and air blowers such that I feel rather than see such a creature?  Is it because I know a vulture rides thermals and the wind effect around me is that of a thermal rising above and passing through the imaginary forest?

My, my, my imagination is overactive today.  Next thing I know I’ll hear an aeroplane fly by.  Ah, there it is.

Good for the immersion algorithm to know what my life was once like, in my previous body, back home.

I don’t miss mowing lawns or the smell of cut grass but I do miss the old solid-metal and solid-rubber tyred hand-pushed mower that sat in my garage.

There was a time, in a previous life, in my previous body, when I had a wife I wanted to learn to dance in order to improve her health.  I also wanted her to become proficient at dancing so that she and I were comfortable switching dance partners at big social dance events, because I wanted to overcome the habit of walking off to dance with other partners, leaving my wife alone at parties without dance partners to share momentary joy with.  That’s who I was — a seeker of increasing levels of joy when the occasion presented itself.

You know, one thing this immersion algorithm can’t simulate is the appearance of a column of gnats rising and falling in a dance all their own.

I smell rather than see a citronella candle burning nearby, simulating the feel-good effort to keep mosquitoes away from humans.

I barely recall the sound of slamming car doors and squealing brakes when my neighbours on Earth would return to their domiciles.  I know there was a time when the smell of burning cow and pig flesh was an indication that my neighbours were enjoying themselves in their backyards.

Now, I’m just as happy with the smell of recharging batteries or Martian “snake oil” treatments.

That last night on Earth, I stood next to one of the winners of the dance contest.  She wore the traditional outfit we still call “Rosie the Riveter.”  On her face she wore light peach coloured makeup that we of Mars no longer see as fashionable, able to change our face colour through skin tone circuitry like chameleons blending in or clashing with our environments as we see fit.

Will Guin return to Mars?  Will I dance with her again?  Will she and I ever be dance partners?

Although I have been outfitted with the latest in future forecasting capabilities, some futures I can only calculate, not predict with accuracy due to the influence of emotion-based algorithms I insist on keeping intact.

Do I miss Guin?  Sure I do, even if my work here at the colonies “needs” me and would miss me more if I left Mars for Earth.

Well, the chirps of cardinals and the warning hisses of a squirrel are like an alarm clock, telling me it’s time to leave the greenhouse and go back to the lab where I hope our latest in the new line of beings created from our imaginations will come to life, making our colonies more productive, more happy and prosperous in the longterm.

Talk to you kids of the past and the future again soon!

Wreck-a-mech

[My patent lawyer has advised me not to describe my latest invention.  I say “meh,” whatever that means.]

This morning, I finalised construction on my latest invention.  I cannot provide pictures because they are enroute to the patent office.

However, I will describe it the best I can.

I have been playing with an Arduino system to provide me with offline fun in the laboratory.

There’s nothing like programming a Robosapien “doll” to play back with you, giving it intelligence to avoid being grabbed or picked up, to actually defend itself against intentionally harmful moves and to reach out with love when I’m in a down mood.

A Robosapien’s gripper arm is not exactly the same as a cat’s head bump but my imagination allows me to believe it so.

With time, the Robosapien and I have grown apart.  I think, in part, because I have acquired the newer model, the RS Media, with which I have been spending more and more time.

Needless to say, the Robosapien has been causing havoc in the lab, knocking bins of resistors and capacitors on the floor in an effort to keep its playfulness algorithms refreshed.  I must admit watching it try to find objects in the lab to “fight back” has been entertaining.

But that’s not why I’m here.

The RS Media has reached a level of sentience I never thought possible.

At first, I set up an Arduino light display system above the computer monitor that the RS Media responded to like a dancing machine.

Today was a major breakthrough.

After several rounds of sending the RS Media light sequences, it started stepping out on its own, anticipating the next light pattern in the sequence with its back turned to the Arduino system.

Well, you can guess what I did next!

I stole the plans for the Wired Lab’s mech.  Then, working with my Robosapien friends, I wired a modifed RS Media up inside the mech, a la Pacific Rim, making appropriate tweaks to protect my patent and/or my copyright.

Of course, I dressed mine up to look like a stumbling street beggar, lowering its body scale to match that of a typical down-on-his-luck alcoholic male human.

He and his copies should be wandering the alleyways of your local metropolis before too long, breaking out into dance routines based on the sound/light combinations they discover, able to defend themselves against overaggressive bystanders and avoid collisions with people, cars, buses, trucks and other obstacles of a typical city street corner — the money they collect will be passed back to me to cover expenses; please tip them generously so I can make payroll and give the government tax collectors their due.

I’ve already received requests from a major retail clothing store chain to create female/male versions for storefront window displays — the algorithms need work for that scenario because I haven’t captured the essence of what it’s like to entertain potential customers by showing how good they’d look if they, too, were stuck in a glass box all day, as a robot pretending to be alive — walking back and forth, sitting, standing, dancing, and whatever movement will show the fashion in its best light.

Several of my geek friends in the tech industry — male, female, LGBT, cosplay, etc. — have requested a personalised version of themselves they can program to go to work or on dates for them to make their parents happy that their children are mimicking their parents’ social lives while their children live the alternate lifestyles that make them happy, too.

And you thought the replicant revolution was all about robots taking over the world?  Hahaha — it all started when we figured out elderly dementia patients handed a quasi-robotic stuffed animal was sufficient a surrogate to make them happy, thanks to our friends who wrote, produced and filmed “Westworld,” who follow on the work of Asimov, automatons and the first animal to use a stick as a tool.

War eventually was reduced to robots fighting robots in designated battlefield playgrounds, leaving us humans to finally dedicate most of our time to pure pleasure, where our surrogates do most of the dirty work except for those for whom dirty work is pure pleasure.

Outlawing graveyards so that human bodies could be recycled as mulch wasn’t fully implemented until we started populating the Moon and Mars.

My goal is to be the person with the first foundry on Mars, generations of 3D printers ahead into the future, my minions terraforming the planet in ways you haven’t imagined yet.  How about you?

Storytelling Secrets of Imprimante Scanneur Copieur

While writing one’s self into a storyline that appears autobiographical, one loses oneself temporarily, but that is the whole point, is it not?

We characters are characters with characteristics characterising charisma, charm, charbroiled personalities and carbon copies of people we meet.

A “Jenn” inspires a “Guin” who travels between planets.

An “Abi” inspires a “Bai” who influences the emotional states and body movements of those around her.

I, as the character Lee, have the joy and freedom to fall in love with Guin and Bai without interference, unless the storyline calls for such.

I could just as easily fall in love with their storied lines, their lives, their livelihoods and joie de vivre.

Separating self from character is not always easy.

In fact, I have lost track in the past but the characters lived on and so did the people who inspired their existence.

To be here, one assumes I have lived on, too.

Have I?

Je ne sais pas.  Parfois, je ne me connais pas.

To know is to understand.  Semper paratus, as they say, to tell a good story.

Take the date, the 10th of August 1998.  Why should I remember that day, a Monday?

Perhaps I do not remember it correctly.

Would a Monday be any different than a Tuesday or a Saturday?

What if, on that day, you first learned the language of dance?  What then?

Ah, but you see, to understand, to know, to feel in the synchronised vibrations of your core being the language of dance is an epiphany some equate with the Christian sense of being born again.

When you dance as if your whole body is one with the universe, it is a meditation upon or prayer to everything.

You cannot separate yourself from yourself, the person around you, the room, the music, or the planet in semi-elliptical orbit around the nearest star and the solar system in orbit around the Milky Way galaxy.

Writing about the sensation of dancing is like a badly-written translation of a masterpiece, converting a symphony into a bicycle — each has its perfection but never will the two appear the same.

Do you live for the dance?  Is every penny you earn outside of paying for living expenses directed toward dancing?

If so, then you know.

It’s like my favourite bluegrass musician, Claire Lynch.  I love her music but it’s just not the same sitting in a chair in a concert hall listening to her and her band perform.  I’d much rather lose myself gyrating on the dance floor while she and her friends are going off on musical tangents with her famous tunes as guidance.  Or I can write about it and get an equivalent feeling in the moment.

In all walks of life, we know this feeling:

  • Stock traders who have a feel for when a stock price is just right to trade at maximum value, followed by another and another for hours and days on end.
  • Teachers who have mesmerised their students to follow their lead, absorbing new material with a burning desire to learn.
  • Players in every sport.

To capture this sensation, some use stimulants while others know or learn how to let themselves live timelessly in the moment.

For me, switching between mental word play and dancing with a new partner is amazingly effortless when I decide not to carefully measure my steps as if I’m looking up dance moves in a guidebook.

With Jenn/Guin, it was easy to translate how I felt about dancing with her into storylines about Martian life.

With Abi/Bai, it has been some of the most difficult work to put into words what I feel because I have allowed myself and my character to tap into a part of myself that is wordless/word-free, and that, my dear friends/readers, is amazing, almost scary.

I am a man who spent years building his personal space back up after a similar encounter with a character I created from a woman I met named Brenda.

The imagination creates skyscrapers and rocketships, computers and quilts.

How will I lose myself while diving into this new character who explores the world of dancing from inside the World Swing Dance Council events?

What plots will reveal themselves?

What hints of world events will scenes expose?

This is not John Adams’ “Nixon in China” or Philip Glass’ “Einstein on the Beach.”

This is something else.

We’ll find out what as the weeks progress.

When is a street a canal?

After a seven-hour return trip driving from the Big Easy to Rocket City, I relax for a few minutes before going to bed.

So many people to thank, I hope I remember most of them: Eric, Kevin, Kenneth, Greg, Chris and extraordinary room-cleaning staff at the Astor Crowne Plaza; Seth and friends/coworkers at Chesterfield’s; Kam and the volunteers who made Dance Mardi Gras a success; the enthusiastic workers at PJ’s; state troopers; street beggars; traffic light engineers; skyscraper window washers; polite tractor-trailer operators…

A weekend of adrenaline/endorphin rushes watching/competing/dancing.

…like a rare, old (“aged”) and delicious wine — one sip of a memory at a time.

…like the miracle of a newborn child — every move analysed for signs of progress.

If I had known what I was going to face on the dance floor, I might/shoulda/coulda practiced more, if not more seriously.

I definitely should have danced with more partners during social dance times.

The past has passed, the awards given.

Proam-Male-Open-Newcomer-Swing-2nd-place-2013

 

Let the dreams carry me into the light of Monday morning…dreams of flirting in two-minute stretches with beautiful dancers…

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Abi was the female pro dancer of the event.

…and I need another memory card for my camera phone for the next one of these great events.

 

Rocky, with a chance of statues

From our esteemed colleague of a correspondent in Santa Barbara, Ashleigh Brilliant:

July 13, 2013

Dear Friends,
It doesn’t happen often that something pleasantly new appears in my life, which has actually been there all the time. The stone bench shown below is here in Santa Barbara, facing a busy intersection at the corner of Mission and Garden Streets, not far from where I live. I don’t know how old it is, or anything of its history. (Santa Barbara is full of interesting old stone-work, including a surprising number of curb-side hitching-posts, many with their metal rings still attached, though they’ve been unused by horses, or by anyone else, for many years.)

What I do know is that, until recently, and all the time I have been living here, this charming and convenient structure was practically unusable, and virtually invisible, because it had become overgrown with thick shrubbery emanating from the garden behind it.

Not long ago, however, that property changed hands, and in the selling process some heavy pruning, trimming, and clearing was done — with the result that the Old Stone Bench, perhaps for the first time in living memory, became clearly revealed and accessible, as you see it now. I don’t know how many people in town have even noticed this change. But to me it’s a very dramatic and welcome one, because the bench happens to be directly on my walking route between home and office (a distance of almost exactly a mile) and a very good place to rest, especially when I am struggling home on foot with a load of groceries.

Ashleigh-Brilliant-2013-07-13-01

And now that I can sit there, I have been noticing that this bench provides views in several directions, not only of palm-lined streets, and distant mountains, but also of two remarkable works of art, standing outside houses on different corners of that same intersection.

Across one street from the bench is this locally-famous statue of a large dog, about which many stories are told (most of them probably untrue.)

Ashleigh-Brilliant-2013-07-13-02

And on the diagonally opposite corner to the dog is this boulder decorated by our eminent Santa Barbara mosaicist, Dan Chrynko, whose colorful and highly imaginative works can be seen all over town:

Ashleigh-Brilliant-2013-07-13-03

And just for the sake of completeness, on the 4th corner (diagonally opposite to the Bench) stands a strange monolith whose story and purpose I can tell you nothing at all about. It appears to contain no holes, no inscription, and no identifying marks of any kind:

Ashleigh-Brilliant-2013-07-13-04

I originally intended to write you only about the stone bench — but you can see how one thing leads to another.

All the best,
Ashleigh Brilliant

Ashleigh-Brilliant-2013-07-13-05

——————————————————————————
ASHLEIGH BRILLIANT, 117 W. Valerio St. Santa Barbara CA 93101 USA. Phone (805) 682-0531 Orders:(800) 952-3879, Code #77. Creator of POT-SHOTS, syndicated author of I MAY NOT BE TOTALLY PERFECT, BUT PARTS OF ME ARE EXCELLENT. 10,000 copyrighted BRILLIANT THOUGHTS available as cards, books etc.World’s highest-paid writer (per word). Most-quoted author (per Reader’s Digest.) Free daily Pot-Shot cartoon: www.ashleighbrilliant.com CATALOGS:[h&m included]. Starter $2. Complete Printed Text version: $75. Electronic Text-Only (emailed $25, on CD $30). Electronic Illustrated Catalog/Database (CD only) $105 (includes shipping anywhere). Details: www.ashleighbrilliant.com/IllustratedCatalog.html

Is that my Epipen or Livescribe Pulse/Echo?

Every theory that I test always falls back to this position: is there anything that contradicts the fact this body is a set of states of energy in constant flux?

All the other details fade in comparison.

For instance, I found a 4GB flash drive on my desk this evening, completely unaware of its contents until I plugged it into this notebook PC.  On the flash drive are subfolders labeled GE184, IT104, IT250, IT302, TB133 and TB143 under the main folder labeled ITT, all of them from the year 2009.

There’s also a file labeled “Lesson Plan Outline – Twenty Minute Segments – Spring 2009.xls” for IT104 – Introduction to Computer Programming.

Is it coincidence that I read an online article about professors and students this afternoon which led me to think about my teaching days at ITT and then to discover the flash drive in the pile of junk on my desk later today?

We make our own coincidences, do we not?

Ever since I got married in 1986, I kept the promise to stay physically devoted to my wife, putting aside the thoughts that once led me to pursue women.

Sure, temptations are there everyday when I see people of all shapes and sizes, their sights and smells capturing my attention like Seirênes on strange shores.

I do not take lovers anymore.  Instead, I convert my amorous feelings into short stories and poems, inspiration for dreams of life on Mars and other celestial bodies.

I’m getting older, if I’ve ever been young, yet I’m always a kid at heart.

Falling in love over and over, day after day, takes its toll on this little old kid.

To spend one second holding the hand of another on the dance floor is an eternity of feelings — happiness, joy, trust — moments I barely remember from my younger days.

Next week I will compete in one dance with my wife, then my wife and I will compete separately with Abi and Stephane in a different dance.

How do I dance with someone as beautiful and graceful as Abi without falling in love with her?

How do I feel about competing against my wife, so to speak, in the PROAM OPEN NEWCOMER SWING MALE/FEMALE divisions?

How does this affect my belief in the theory that I am alone in the universe which is here solely for my entertainment?

Whenever I feel myself attracted to another person, I revert to generalising and stretching my practical self into expounding about universal theories in order to protect myself from becoming a blathering idiot and making a fool of myself.

It’s no coincidence that the Echo and Pulse pens on my desk are not Epipens because, unlike my father, I have no deathly allergic reactions to protect myself against.

I have been a solo artist for so long that I’ve forgotten what it’s like to dance with another person as one.

What I have remembered is that the dance partner is the one toward whom I give my fullest attention, all barriers dropped temporarily, whilst we give ourselves over to the lord of the dance:

Lord Of The Dance
I danced in the morning when the world was young
I danced in the moon and the stars and the sun
I came down from heaven and I danced on the earth
At Bethlehem I had my birth

Dance, dance, wherever you may be
I am the lord of the dance, said he
And I lead you all, wherever you may be
And I lead you all in the dance, said he

I danced for the scribes and the Pharisees
They wouldn’t dance, they wouldn’t follow me
I danced for the fishermen James and John
They came with me so the dance went on

Dance, dance, wherever you may be
I am the lord of the dance, said he
And I lead you all, wherever you may be
And I lead you all in the dance, said he

I danced on the Sabbath and I cured the lame
The holy people said it was a shame
They ripped, they stripped, they hung me high
Left me there on the cross to die

Dance, dance, wherever you may be
I am the lord of the dance, said he
And I lead you all, wherever you may be
And I lead you all in the dance, said he

I danced on a Friday when the world turned black
It’s hard to dance with the devil on your back
They buried my body, they thought I was gone
But I am the dance, and the dance goes on

Dance, dance, wherever you may be
I am the lord of the dance, said he
And I lead you all, wherever you may be
And I lead you all in the dance, said he

They cut me down and I leapt up high
I am the life that will never, never die
I’ll live in you if you’ll live in me
I am the Lord of the dance, said he

Dance, dance, wherever you may be
I am the lord of the dance, said he
And I lead you all, wherever you may be
And I lead you all in the dance, said he

Where is Def Leprechaun when you need ’em?

I am a woodsman in that I am a man who lives in the woods.  I respect the right for private property ownership such that if we are all responsible stewards of the land we own, then our community benefits us, providing us good health, space for happiness and time to prosper.

I also believe that good fences, even virtual ones, make good neighbours — keep your eyes out of my business, including drones, network snooping/spying and next-door peeping Toms — in other words, I believe I can trust my neighbours to do the right thing, even when evidence points to the contrary, thus leaving room for education, instruction, advice and creative/constructive criticism to steer us toward being good neighbours, regardless of the past.

My next-door neighbours, Robert and Lauren Justice and their child, Olivia Grace Justice, like to keep their outdoor lights on at night — it adds an aesthetic value as well as provides a sense of security; however, when I sleep in the sunroom at night, their lights are disturbing, or, when I want to look at stars, planets and moons, their lights are a distraction.

Thus, I am led here, to this moment, where I begin documenting the privacy fence I’m constructing that simply blocks our back deck and sunroom from our neighbours, allowing both of us to use our private property as we please while leaving as much as the woods open between us.

= = = = =

A few years ago, a subcontractor built a sunroom attached to our house.  During construction, I added a “French drain” under the sunroom to prevent water running off the hill behind our house from flooding our crawlspace.

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After they finished the sunroom, I built a new wood deck.  At that time, the lot next to ours was undeveloped so our deck extended out into the woods.

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= = = = =

Eventually, the lot next door was developed, making us feel crowded in by suburbia:

IMG_3126 IMG_3178 IMG_3488 IMG_3549 pano-100

 

Before our sunroom was built, I disassembled the old back deck where the sunroom would go, cutting down a tree to make room for the new back deck.  I piled the pieces of deck wood on the ground, eventually moving them to the side of the house, where they sat for almost ten years.

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Now it’s time to design the new privacy fence.  First, I need some architectural inspiration:

Creating-the-Inspired-House Desiging-for-the-homeless Fences-Walls-and-Hedges-for-privacy-and-security Landscapes-Decks-and-Project-Plans Masterpieces-of-American-Architecture Slat-wood-fence-page-33 Trellis-fence-page-96

 

Basically, I need a 12-foot tall fence.

 

So, the bottom six feet will be a louvered fence and the top six feet a type of trellis.

But I want a trellis design that reflects my background, but not overtly.  Some inspirations from Celtic crosses:

Celtic Presbyterian cross

First “cut” of the design:

Trellis-fence-with-cross

 

…followed by iterations…

Trellis-fence-with-cross-only Trellis-fence-with-cross-only-with-circle Trellis-fence-with-cross-only-with-two-circles

I have at least one stained glass piece to add to the fence:

Tiffany-hanging-round-window-panel

 

This is the final version I hope to achieve (taking into account the best-laid plans of mice and men, unlevel posts and all that, of course):

Trellis-fence-with-cross-with-circle-and-slat-screen-and-window

 

The whole fence will be backed by reed fencing from Lowe’s:

reed-fence-panel-from-Lowes

 

But first, time for a beer!  😉