The U.S. military decided to usurp the authority of the U.S. President, as Commander-in-Chief, to reverse orders to prepare attacks on Iran.

Instead, the military has set up a surprise invasion of Canada to protect the U.S. rightful access to oil sands reserves and stop the U.S. government’s covert agreement to turn over Canadian oil to China in exchange for continued access to China manufacturing facilities that will keep the majority of Americans happy (relatively speaking) buying cheap goods.

South Korea has not been asked to comment on this hilarious scenario sure to be quoted by wellmisinformed members of the U.S. Congress in order to be reelected on bogus issues unrelated to their constituency needs.

And Ricky Gervais is still as unfunny as ever but he never cared to begin with. At least he’ll be forgotten faster than that…uh…that singer, what’s her name?