Forever alone?

At one time tragic,

At one time fearful,

Most times happily,

Knowledge of being alone with oneself revealed one’s self to oneself.

Yet, alone I am,

Have always been,

Will always be.

The innate biological desire to procreate

Burdens me with sexual desires never sated

With others or myself;

Thus, I wander this planet

Waiting, hoping, wishing to die sooner

Rather than later.

Explaining that to others,

Particularly those of the Christian religious belief set,

Grew old in the first telling.

I am alone not only mentally my whole life

But also in my home and work life,

Able to do as I please,

Sleep most of the time

(Simulated death, reducing my active living state as much as possible).

If I avoid social media,

I also reduce the automated responses

From my three-headed self —

Chameleon, people pleaser, contrarian —

But I’m married and have immediate family that I depend on financially,

Trapping this gigolo in a gilded cage for life,

Forever alone entertaining passersby in a crowd.

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