At one time tragic,
At one time fearful,
Most times happily,
Knowledge of being alone with oneself revealed one’s self to oneself.
Yet, alone I am,
Have always been,
Will always be.
The innate biological desire to procreate
Burdens me with sexual desires never sated
With others or myself;
Thus, I wander this planet
Waiting, hoping, wishing to die sooner
Rather than later.
Explaining that to others,
Particularly those of the Christian religious belief set,
Grew old in the first telling.
I am alone not only mentally my whole life
But also in my home and work life,
Able to do as I please,
Sleep most of the time
(Simulated death, reducing my active living state as much as possible).
If I avoid social media,
I also reduce the automated responses
From my three-headed self —
Chameleon, people pleaser, contrarian —
But I’m married and have immediate family that I depend on financially,
Trapping this gigolo in a gilded cage for life,
Forever alone entertaining passersby in a crowd.