Overcome by unexpected sadness

Cannot shake off the existence of a self today.

I’m sad, very sad.

I don’t know why.

Not completely, that is.

I once took the chance opportunity to deviate from the path laid out for me — BORNMARRYPROCREATEDIE.

That opportunity did not work out.

At the time I was a smalltime drug dealer working at a restaurant to cover my overhead costs.

I had found a flat with Amy Easter, for whom I was her supplier and whom she wanted as her pimp/daddy.

She moved a few of her things into the flat but the clients she brought over didn’t trust me because they thought I was too square so Amy never fully moved in with me.

Thus, I was left to pay both halves of our rent which I couldn’t afford.

I thought I was going to fully develop my new persona.

But it didn’t work out the way I thought.

Amy was a free spirit which also meant she was irresponsible and a sociopath.

She had no problem lying about anything and everything, which appealed to the fiction writer in me.

Mostly, I am a gentleman in regards to writing/bragging about my sexual activities with others, discretion is the better part of valour, et cetera.

I hesitate to write about nongentlemenly topics because of a fear of retribution from unknown social censors/thought police.

Amy had no such builtin fears.

More as it develops…

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